What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[jumpingjehovahs]

Found myself watching a video of a guy driving around Pyongyang this morning, as you do, and was interested at some of the sights. A lot of Chinese cars I don’t recognise, but a B5 Passat, a Lexus GX570 and a Defender were interesting to see. So too was a DHL van right at the start, I wouldn’t have thought they’d operate in North Korea. 
 

Most interesting was this Discovery 3. Anyone keeping that running and maintained with what must be little access to parts deserves a medal 

 

Video here if anyone is interested: 

 

[Tayne]

20 minutes ago, jumpingjehovahs said:

Found myself watching a video of a guy driving around Pyongyang this morning, as you do, and was interested at some of the sights. A lot of Chinese cars I don’t recognise, but a B5 Passat, a Lexus GX570 and a Defender were interesting to see. So too was a DHL van right at the start, I wouldn’t have thought they’d operate in North Korea. 
 

Most interesting was this Discovery 3. Anyone keeping that running and maintained with what must be little access to parts deserves a medal 

 

Along similar lines, but sadly lacking photographic evidence, I saw a running Citroen BX in Cuba.

[808 Estate]

[myglaren]

[hairnet]

just watching the london marathon on bbc1

the pace car with the clock on the top?

matra rancho :D - its 1981

[cort1977]

17 hours ago, Wack said:

Just looking through some pictures I'd taken on my phone , this one was a while back

I know stella is reassuringly expensive but I think this guy is taking it a bit far 

Simon Cowell has let himself go.

[Tamworthbay]

6 hours ago, jumpingjehovahs said:

Found myself watching a video of a guy driving around Pyongyang this morning, as you do, and was interested at some of the sights. A lot of Chinese cars I don’t recognise, but a B5 Passat, a Lexus GX570 and a Defender were interesting to see. So too was a DHL van right at the start, I wouldn’t have thought they’d operate in North Korea. 
 

Most interesting was this Discovery 3. Anyone keeping that running and maintained with what must be little access to parts deserves a medal 

 

Video here if anyone is interested: 

 

It’s not as closed as the media would have you to believe. A mate goes over there once or twice a year with work (he does control systems for industrial furnaces), he has never had any bother but he is ferried from the hotel to the factories and back - but that’s the same when he is in India or China. He isn’t into cars (well apart from Ferrari’s and other rubbish like that) so never mentions what cars are over there and sadly he isn’t the sort to take pictures (not sure if he would be allowed but don’t see why not). I bet there is some proper old school chod out there.

[hairnet]

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Autocar-Motor-magazine-McLaren-F1-road-car-Book/362962610959

farcanal - have seen them for 60

think ive read mine maybe 10 time in 25 years :D

[richardmorris]

 

A run through of some of tools you might feel necessary to restore the seized up, rusting hulk   (aka 'lockdown project) you've decided to drag out of the garage and into the sunlight. (Plagiarised and adjusted from a F**d site)

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat  metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest  and flings your tea across the room, denting the freshly-painted  project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could  get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws  them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes  fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it  takes you to say, 'Oh sh*t'

ANGLE GRINDER: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board  principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable  motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more  dismal your future becomes.

MOLE-GRIPS: Generally used after  pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available,  they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of  your hand.

OXY-ACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for setting  on fire various flammable objects in your shop. Also handy for igniting  the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a  bearing race..

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground  after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle  firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw  primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller  pieces that more easily fit into the dustbin after you cut on the  inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under  lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil  on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out  Phillips screw heads.

FLATHEAD SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening  paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into  non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

CROW BAR: A tool  used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to  remove in order to replace a 50p part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: AKA Birmingham screwdriver. Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts  adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

STANLEY KNIFE: Used to  open and slice through fingers, the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to  your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats,  vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, magazines and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

ADJUSTABLE SPANNER: aka "Another  hammer", aka "the Swedish Nut Lathe", aka "Crescent Wrench". Commonly  used as a one size fits all wrench, usually results in rounding off nut  heads before the use of pliers. Will randomly adjust size between bolts,  resulting in busted knuckles, curse words, and multiple threats to any  inanimate objects within the immediate vicinity.

CITROËN SPECIAL TOOL: An unfathomable collection of bent metal and machined billet. It will fit every model variation ever produced since 1948. Except yours. 

BASTARD TOOL:  Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling  'Bastard' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next  tool that you will need.

[Wack]

On 4/17/2020 at 4:12 AM, TooManyPeopleMovers said:

The public library where I live has purchased access to Haynes All Access Online Manuals!

Which will make for great fettling during the lockdown period.
And I always like to have a browse on Haynes to see what a car is like to service/maintain/repair if it's a potential purchase option (Post lockdown, of course).
So this is a double win!

Have public libraries in the UK done this yet?

They're far too busy sorting books out

 

 

 

[High Jetter]

Dewey just turned in his grave.

[Aston Martin]

[Wack]

12 hours ago, Wack said:

They're far too busy sorting books out

 

 

 

I was just telling my wife this, when she worked at a solicitors they had an office junior, she was asked to put company files away , they were all in alphabetical order , when it came to finding said files nobody could see them so they asked her where they were

all the company names beginning with "The" were under T

[Muniphobia]

The cleaner sorting the library books by size makes me think of the two Ronnies sketch with the library books sorted by colour

[face]

55 minutes ago, Muniphobia said:

The cleaner sorting the library books by size makes me think of the two Ronnies sketch with the library books sorted by colour

 

[DVee8]

[PhilA]

Dusted the grill off. There's just enough gas in it.

 

 

Being as tomorrow and Wednesday we are on severe weather warning, with the fine weather this evening I decided to torture my neighbors and give them payback for this weekend where they grilled and made me want barbeque.

 

Phil

[paulplom]

6 hours ago, PhilA said:

Y tho

[hairnet]

do you deliver :D

 

[gm]

I was round at mother gm's house mowing the lawn, once i finished, she asked if I could connect up this fancy new garden hose that my sister had bought for her

"as seen on tv" set my expectations particularly low

so I hooked it up to the tap and stretched it out to see how far it would reach - what a load of old pish !

but when I turned the water on, this happened

 

and now it stretches all the way to the bottom of the drive

I'm really rather impressed by that

had I not just bought a new (normal) hose last week, I'd be getting one myself 

 

[xtriple]

Very similar to the one I just bought but mine is yellow and a 100 feet (which is near as fuck it, 30 metres    ). I have used these since I moved into the gaff as no storage and these collapse to sweet fa. Good stuff  

[Timewaster]

2 hours ago, hairnet said:

do you deliver

 

No, he's doing sausages and burgers.

[hairnet]

1 hour ago, gm said:

I was round at mother gm's house mowing the lawn, once i finished, she asked if I could connect up this fancy new garden hose that my sister had bought for her

"as seen on tv" set my expectations particularly low

so I hooked it up to the tap and stretched it out to see how far it would reach - what a load of old pish !

but when I turned the water on, this happened

 

and now it stretches all the way to the bottom of the drive

I'm really rather impressed by that

had I not just bought a new (normal) hose last week, I'd be getting one myself 

 

who stocks those - googled it and its said ebay - china fk that

ours is waaaaaaaaaaank need a new one

ta

 

[gm]

I shall investigate and report back 

[Wack]

Now this made me laugh 

NSFW slightly

 

[Floatylight]

I was round at mother gm's house mowing the lawn, once i finished, she asked if I could connect up this fancy new garden hose that my sister had bought for her

"as seen on tv" set my expectations particularly low

so I hooked it up to the tap and stretched it out to see how far it would reach - what a load of old pish !
but when I turned the water on, this happened
 
and now it stretches all the way to the bottom of the drive

I'm really rather impressed by that
had I not just bought a new (normal) hose last week, I'd be getting one myself 
 

What amazed me was connecting the pressure washer is how long it runs at full power after the water is turned off as the hose shrinks back..

Sent from my SM-A505FN using Tapatalk

[gm]

1 hour ago, hairnet said:

who stocks those - googled it and its said ebay - china fk that

ours is waaaaaaaaaaank need a new one

ta

 

it was either b&m or wilkos, she bought it a while ago and it's only just been dragged out of the shed  

[omegod]

My wife has an irritating habit of having the subtitles on ALL the time, just watching Ghost Whisperer featuring the lovely Jennifer Love Hewitt and the words were covering her ample bosom and I explained to the wife this was exactly the reason it pisses me off, she happily turned them off !!!  

I married well !

JLH shot for reference purposes

[somewhatfoolish]

53 minutes ago, omegod said:

My wife has an irritating habit of having the subtitles on ALL the time, just watching Ghost Whisperer featuring the lovely Jennifer Love Hewitt and the words were covering her ample bosom and I explained to the wife this was exactly the reason it pisses me off, she happily turned them off !!!  

I married well !

JLH shot for reference purposes

This post should be accompanied by the comedy Boing! noise from the Carry On films, as played typically when Bernard Breslaw got felt up while in drag. Randomly I now want to know what kind of drum they used to make the noise.

[SiC]

3 hours ago, hairnet said:

who stocks those - googled it and its said ebay - china fk that

ours is waaaaaaaaaaank need a new one

ta

 

Where did you expect them to be made? Certainly won't be anywhere in the western world.