The grumpy thread

[richardmorris]

Got tailgated in my Austin A35 yesterday, by a new X6 in resale white, who then proceeded to overtake on a blind sweeping corner into the face of oncoming traffic. The gap wasn't there and he nearly caused a major accident - I had to brake to let the twat back in as did the lady in the Punto coming the other way.

Daily occurance round here in Surrey if you’re in a 2cv or on a bicycle. Morons the lot of them.

[richardmorris]

I seem to go to ikea ( Brent Cross) when ive moved house and need something quick and cheap. The sense of dread is being fed like a rat through a maze. I learned to ignore this years ago and just take a shortcut into the marketplace and warehouse.

 

There’s nothing wrong with ikea stuff, just the shopping experience.

[Tamworthbay]

Just drop a few random nuts and bolts through a drain plug hole in the floor, that will get the bastards backing off.

[The Moog]

Can't find two of the airbox bolts. I have looked everywhere includingoving the car.

 

If it had been one I would have assumed I lost it. But two means I have put them somewhere safe*.

[Tamworthbay]

Inside the Air Box? That would be nice and safe.......

[Coprolalia]

Moving out of rented accommodation, into a friend's flat for two weeks, before hopefully moving into our new place when the solicitors get their arse in gear.

Day 3 of packing and cleaning, somewhat tired of this shit.

[The Moog]

Inside the Air Box? That would be nice and safe.......

Didn't open it. (Although still went out and gave it a shake on your tip)

[Tamworthbay]

Didn't open it. (Although still went out and gave it a shake on your tip)

Oh well, worth a check I suppose. I always used to drop the long ones from my minis in there when it changed the filter, left them in a few over the years!

[dozeydustman]

I feel for you.  I had to go yesterday.

 

What is it about Ikea that fills us with dread?

 

 

Unfortunately the house I'm moving to tomorrow doesn't have any furniture at all, and as current flat has fitted wardrobes and cupboards we've needed to get something cheap.

 

It's the way you are herded through the display area. It's supposed to be one way, but people walk backwards through it, leave trolleys in the middle of the aisle, some people think it's a family day out and the kids are bored after 3 seconds so scream or misbehave.

 

The nearest one being in Croydon didn't help either. What a shit place to drive around.

[dozeydustman]

Moving out of rented accommodation, into a friend's flat for two weeks, before hopefully moving into our new place when the solicitors get their arse in gear.

Day 3 of packing and cleaning, somewhat tired of this shit.

 

 

been doing that for 2 weeks. Thankfully move day is tomorrow. We're about 90% packed.

[dollywobbler]

Just drop a few random nuts and bolts through a drain plug hole in the floor, that will get the bastards backing off.

 

I had a BMW tailgating me once when I was in the 2CV. My 2CV threw an alternator bolt at it. They did back off to be fair. 

[danthecapriman]

I had a BMW tailgating me once when I was in the 2CV. My 2CV threw an alternator bolt at it. They did back off to be fair.

 

Someone was tailgating a mate of mine once. He pulled the cars ashtray out of the dash and emptied it out of the window.

The ashtray was full of 1 and 2 pence coins! It was hilarious watching them all bouncing off the twat behinds windscreen and bonnet!

It did the job though as he backed right off after that.

[dozeydustman]

If getting up at half 6 on a Sunday, finishing packing for a house move, getting stuff we have stored loaded onto a van from the various storage locations around Kent and West Sussex and a trip to Croydon Ikea in one day wasn't stressful enough, FB reminds me that 5 years ago I lost my grandmother. Then at half 9 I get a text from my cousin (with whom I am angry anyway) reminding me. Then also my aunt doing the same at 9:40.

 

Bollocks. I don't want social media or my distant family telling me that I should be grieving today. Let me do that as and when I want or need to.

[DodgeRover]

I seem to go to ikea ( Brent Cross) when ive moved house and need something quick and cheap. The sense of dread is being fed like a rat through a maze. I learned to ignore this years ago and just take a shortcut into the marketplace and warehouse.

 

There’s nothing wrong with ikea stuff, just the shopping experience.

In through the out door passing the tills the wrong way puts you exactly where you need to be to get things you actually want....

[STUNO]

I have never been to Ikea. Mostly because that would involve international air travel.

[Aston Martin]

I was at a friends last night, they were cooking burgers and I decided to have one. Unfortunately it was one of those grey economy burgers.

 

I have had about 3 hours sleep as my chest feels like I’ve swallowed a rock.

[Sir Snipes]

It's always a laugh at Ikea, if only to watch other people lose their shit over cheap interior furnishings

[GrumpiusMaximus]

To be fair to Lady Grumpius, we were quick around this time.  The famous 'Wardrobe Weekend' was utter Hell.

 

We hired a van to pick up a dresser (the sort in two parts that's enormous) she bought from Gumtree.  Had to wait for the seller until 1300, so we loaded the dresser and got home.  Round trip was around an hour.  Then we set off to Ikea after some lunch (this took a while) so we didn't leave until about 1500.  Arrive at Ikea at about 1600 and then spent over an hour waiting to be served for the wardrobes.  After that, she decided she wanted to wander around a bit - by this point my blood is boiling - and eventually we go to collect the wardrobes from downstairs.  There's an amusing cock up when we see a bit that wasn't destined for our wardrobe on our trolley, so we tell them, then pack the van, then go.

 

We get home and lug all the bits in to discover that the reason for the 'amusing cock up' is that they accidentally swapped one part of two orders, so now we're going to have to go back and get the part the next day.  Drop the van off, go home, etc.

 

'Goodbye Weekend', I barely knew ye.

 

We drive back the next day in the car.  She spoke to them on the way there demanding monetary compensation for the Dartford Toll and the fuel costs - which aren't inconsiderable by this point.  They agree to this.  We arrive and we're met with a customer service department in chaos, with a leaky roof (and buckets everywhere) and tills that have only just recovered from crashing (probably due to the leaky roof).  We are told by Ikea_Management_Bot_2334 that we would not be compensated as a result of their mistake.  Thus Lady Grumpius goes and catches another member of staff during a busy moment, who agrees to it immediately and then has to undermine the more senior member of staff.  The bit we need is eventually handed over and after a phone call to head office (to ask if overriding his manager is ok, because his manager is in a bad mood and saying 'no' to all customer requests and is thus an upstanding example of a total wanker), we receive our compensation at the pre-agreed rate of 22p per mile and the Dartford Toll 4 times.

 

Get home, all the rest of it.  It took 3 1/2 hours to sort out one poxy little bit of a sodding wardrobe.

 

When we actually put the wardrobes up a couple of weeks later, we almost split up because of the spectacular row.

 

Ikea.  Just don't do it, kids.

[vulgalour]

My back, after months and months of being perfectly fine, has started playing up again lately for no reason.  Thankfully just cramp rather than pain but it's still massively annoying.

[Broadsword]

I officially hate all Jag XK8s (the old ones, not the ally bodied ones). They are absolutely thoroughly magnificent, but after research and two test drives (one ok, one a shed) I have come to the conclusion that anyone who bought one at any price would be mad. They rust so badly that it's just untrue. The market bottoms out at around 3k and goes up to the mid teens. Every single one is rotten, doesn't matter how much money you give for one. A great example (for instance) is one priced at £8500, which no-one of this parish would of course ever look at, but I wanted to see if very expensive examples were clean. Anyway the £8.5 example had numerous advisories on rust including a hole in the floor, also massive OMG rust MOT failures in the past. Do not think about one and for goodness sake don't drive and fall in love with one. The market for them is just a joke. The rust is so bad they really aren't worth more than £2000, but prices will never go that low. Nicest place to sit in imaginable, beautiful drive and drop dead good looks. You just cannot have one. Damn.

[mercrocker]

Someone was tailgating a mate of mine once. He pulled the cars ashtray out of the dash and emptied it out of the window.

The ashtray was full of 1 and 2 pence coins! It was hilarious watching them all bouncing off the twat behinds windscreen and bonnet!

It did the job though as he backed right off after that.

 

I actually watched somebody empty what was presumably a whole bag of shopping, one by one, lobbing tins of beans and frozen mince at a tail-gating BMW.  He just randomly grabbed something out of the bag on the passenger seat and hurled it backwards like an Olympic oarsman.   God knows what he ended up with for tea.....

[dave21478]

I officially hate all Jag XK8s (the old ones, not the ally bodied ones). They are absolutely thoroughly magnificent, but after research and two test drives (one ok, one a shed) I have come to the conclusion that anyone who bought one at any price would be mad. They rust so badly that it's just untrue. The market bottoms out at around 3k and goes up to the mid teens. Every single one is rotten, doesn't matter how much money you give for one. A great example (for instance) is one priced at £8500, which no-one of this parish would of course ever look at, but I wanted to see if very expensive examples were clean. Anyway the £8.5 example had numerous advisories on rust including a hole in the floor, also massive OMG rust MOT failures in the past. Do not think about one and for goodness sake don't drive and fall in love with one. The market for them is just a joke. The rust is so bad they really aren't worth more than £2000, but prices will never go that low. Nicest place to sit in imaginable, beautiful drive and drop dead good looks. You just cannot have one. Damn.

 

Aye, I would love to have one and reckon they are a certainty* for future investment, but holy fuck are they all knackered. Its not just a wee patch or two on the ends of the sills, its full on interior out to get the carpets up and replace huge areas of floorpan, suspension and seatbelt mounts kind of rot.

I have looked at a couple in the 2.5 to 3k bracket and they were completely fucked beyond redemption, and thats coming from the guy who has welded up some truly dire wrecks. Problem is they just get patches lashed on for one more MOT and the rot spreads further and further every year, as nobody in their right mind would do the work needed to repair one properly.

If I ever get more brain-damaged than I currently am, I might just buy one but go into it knowing full well its going to be a bare-shell restoration.

 

I still occasionally punch myself in the balls for chickening out of buying one I saw locally which was basically just a bare shell already, having been raped for engine, suspension and interior. The shell was mintola though and would have been ideal for ringing providing repair sections for a rotted UK one.

[Lord Sterling]

I officially HATE warm pollen-filled days. Today I went out for a walk to complete a few minor tasks and came back a bumbling snot bag. I've got a minor sore throat, my nose is running like a tap. Why does pollon affect me like this? It's getting worse every summer as well

 

It hasn't got better since I git back, I literally have to walk around with a tissue or a sink under my nose, blurrrghh

[Datsuncog]

Today's grump:

 

being ordered to stay late, miss my train, miss my tea, and generally bugger up this evening's plans -  all to bash up a document to the fucking Board setting out how staff are overloaded and suffering from poor work-life balance and morale within the organisation is on the floor as a result.

 

Oh, the irony.

 

They won't even fucking read it anyway.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Today I went to the Post Office and noticed an Audi A5 hatchback parked where the Postmaster, George usually parks his immaculate black MG ZT 1.8 Turbo, before that he had an X-Type in BRG.

Now George is as English as only a retired bank manager that was named after the King and who's father came to Britain from Jamaica to enlist in the RAF during the war- he wears a fricking cravat, for gods sake, can be.

"Best car I've ever had" says he, when I gently enquirer about the Audi,

When I got back in my ( Swedish) car I put Jerusalem on Spotify at full blast, it helped a little bit.

[gadgetgricey]

Can't find two of the airbox bolts. I have looked everywhere includingoving the car.

 

If it had been one I would have assumed I lost it. But two means I have put them somewhere safe*.

 

Total Long Shot, but not working near any speakers or magnets.

 

Changing a door card on the Polo a while ago, and lost two of the screws, Car was really tidy and I'd used the massive rubber floor mat as a catch all within the car.

 

Put everything back by robbing a screw from the drivers door, (So both now just missing one).

 

About two weeks later, suddenly thought about the door card speakers

 

Sure enough they were both stuck to speaker......

 

Thought I was losing my marbles up to that point

[madrat]

Today I went to the Post Office and noticed an Audi A5 hatchback parked where the Postmaster, George usually parks his immaculate black MG ZT 1.8 Turbo, before that he had an X-Type in BRG.

Now George is as English as only a retired bank manager that was named after the King and who's father came to Britain from Jamaica to enlist in the RAF during the war- he wears a fricking cravat, for gods sake, can be.

"Best car I've ever had" says he, when I gently enquirer about the Audi,

When I got back in my ( Swedish) car I put Jerusalem on Spotify at full blast, it helped a little bit.

But none of the cars you listed were ever British?

[Des]

But none of the cars you listed were ever British?

Damned sight more British than a cocking Audi.

[Crispian_J_Hotson]

Love IKEA. Love pissing around, hiding things in cupboards and watching couples row. Just chill out on a sofa and watch WW3 erupt over a choice of fabric.

Also, milfs.

Also, in the Nottingham one the cafe overlooks the carpark so you can scoff meatballs whilst watching someone try to get a 7ft high bookcase in a Fiat 500.

I bought a garden table from Ikea years ago. At the time I had a 206 and it was mm's from fitting into the boot so we applied science. It was a hot day so I sat it in the sun for 20 minutes and hey presto, table fitted into boot. Just kept the car hot inside until I got home so I could get the thing out. Easy.

[The Moog]

 

 

Total Long Shot, but not working near any speakers or magnets.

 

Was under bonnet so I don't think it is that