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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread


outlaw118

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1 hour ago, MikeR said:

I had a deer run in front of me today ,it  ran across the field , jumped the ditch and into the road , luckily I saw it coming and had stopped the car so we did not meet ..

and its friend did the same but a few feet further on !

I had similar, but I stopped in between so the rear window was victim to the slower bastard 

Got the replacement hatch in the lounge - need to spray it and swap the gubbins over - weather being obliging as always 🙄

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Description should read 

I bought an amazon pallet of worthless shite, the pallet wouldn't fit in my flat so i've half arsed it back together with some Asda buttie wrap hoping you won't notice and buy it

Screenshot_20240108_195707_Facebook.thumb.jpg.f47751fa17aed62ad53201fe18bd247b.jpg

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4 hours ago, MikeR said:

I had a deer run in front of me today ,it  ran across the field , jumped the ditch and into the road , luckily I saw it coming and had stopped the car so we did not meet ..

and its friend did the same but a few feet further on !

Where?  Are you in the van ? 

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4 hours ago, wuvvum said:

I walked from the centre of Marrakesh to the airport a few years back.  Was easy enough.  That's the only time I've attempted it mind.

I met a Canadian guy in a youth hostel on the Isle of skye, who had just hitch hiked from Marrakesh, on his way around Europe. 

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I'm going to Brno in CZ next Sunday. Just looked at the weather.

Screenshot_20240108_222748.thumb.jpg.fed427aff23c618c3a9b397851631f56.jpg

I arrive on Sunday. Flying in to Vienna then a train up to Brno where apparently it will be snowing.

One of the places I am hoping to visit is Jeseník which is up in the hills near the Polish border. The reason I'm going is because they still have elderly diesel trains built by ČKD, a subsidiary of Tatra. The nearest I'll ever get to a Tatra anyway.

The weather?

Screenshot_20240108_222300.thumb.jpg.9ce8c8903abdb883d84280c36460345e.jpg

I'd better take my gloves. I'm hoping the trains will still be running fairly normally despite the snow.

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21 hours ago, MikeR said:

I had a deer run in front of me today ,it  ran across the field , jumped the ditch and into the road , luckily I saw it coming and had stopped the car so we did not meet ..

Just before Christmas I was being tailgated by the police in an almost brand new X5. Right up my arse for a good mile or so as I stuck diligently to the speed limit in my little Micra.

Anyway, we got to a bit of straight road and they went for the overtake. I was already doing the limit, so they were being bellends, but whatever, I'd rather have them in front of me than behind. I looked in my wing mirror as they overtook, having seen something there. As soon as they came past they SLAMMED on their brakes, moving right across me in the process.

At this point I'm thinking "These guys are fucking deranged!" Until I saw a fully grown stag fly into the air, right across the other side of the road, over a roughly 10ft hedge. Bits of brand new BMW flew everywhere, and luckily the Micra's brakes were able to keep me from ploughing into the back of them.

They pulled into a driveway about 100m down the road, I pulled in to check they were ok and the driver couldn't even get his door open, the deer had managed to push the whole front quarter back enough.

Thank fuck they overtook me though, because the Micra would likely have taken out the fucker's legs and I'd have ended up with a face full of venison. Not sure I'd have survived it. It would certainly have written off the car.

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19 minutes ago, Merryck said:

Just before Christmas I was being tailgated by the police in an almost brand new X5. Right up my arse for a good mile or so as I stuck diligently to the speed limit in my little Micra.

Anyway, we got to a bit of straight road and they went for the overtake. I was already doing the limit, so they were being bellends, but whatever, I'd rather have them in front of me than behind. I looked in my wing mirror as they overtook, having seen something there. As soon as they came past they SLAMMED on their brakes, moving right across me in the process.

At this point I'm thinking "These guys are fucking deranged!" Until I saw a fully grown stag fly into the air, right across the other side of the road, over a roughly 10ft hedge. Bits of brand new BMW flew everywhere, and luckily the Micra's brakes were able to keep me from ploughing into the back of them.

They pulled into a driveway about 100m down the road, I pulled in to check they were ok and the driver couldn't even get his door open, the deer had managed to push the whole front quarter back enough.

Thank fuck they overtook me though, because the Micra would likely have taken out the fucker's legs and I'd have ended up with a face full of venison. Not sure I'd have survived it. It would certainly have written off the car.

1996 I had a job to Ullapool, it was 1am by the time I got there, got to Inverness thinking not far now 

2 hours later, fuck me where is this bastard place, it was June, past midnight, twilight even at that time when I came round a bend and a herd of deer were in the road, green eyes everywhere 

I've no idea how I missed them but they will kill you, legs fold up and you'll have 500kg through the windscreen. 

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24 minutes ago, Merryck said:

Just before Christmas I was being tailgated by the police in an almost brand new X5. Right up my arse for a good mile or so as I stuck diligently to the speed limit in my little Micra.

Anyway, we got to a bit of straight road and they went for the overtake. I was already doing the limit, so they were being bellends, but whatever, I'd rather have them in front of me than behind. I looked in my wing mirror as they overtook, having seen something there. As soon as they came past they SLAMMED on their brakes, moving right across me in the process.

At this point I'm thinking "These guys are fucking deranged!" Until I saw a fully grown stag fly into the air, right across the other side of the road, over a roughly 10ft hedge. Bits of brand new BMW flew everywhere, and luckily the Micra's brakes were able to keep me from ploughing into the back of them.

They pulled into a driveway about 100m down the road, I pulled in to check they were ok and the driver couldn't even get his door open, the deer had managed to push the whole front quarter back enough.

Thank fuck they overtook me though, because the Micra would likely have taken out the fucker's legs and I'd have ended up with a face full of venison. Not sure I'd have survived it. It would certainly have written off the car.

As they killed it, you were entitled to the road kill.

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9 hours ago, Merryck said:

Just before Christmas I was being tailgated by the police in an almost brand new X5. Right up my arse for a good mile or so as I stuck diligently to the speed limit in my little Micra.

Anyway, we got to a bit of straight road and they went for the overtake. I was already doing the limit, so they were being bellends, but whatever, I'd rather have them in front of me than behind. I looked in my wing mirror as they overtook, having seen something there. As soon as they came past they SLAMMED on their brakes, moving right across me in the process.

At this point I'm thinking "These guys are fucking deranged!" Until I saw a fully grown stag fly into the air, right across the other side of the road, over a roughly 10ft hedge. Bits of brand new BMW flew everywhere, and luckily the Micra's brakes were able to keep me from ploughing into the back of them.

They pulled into a driveway about 100m down the road, I pulled in to check they were ok and the driver couldn't even get his door open, the deer had managed to push the whole front quarter back enough.

Thank fuck they overtook me though, because the Micra would likely have taken out the fucker's legs and I'd have ended up with a face full of venison. Not sure I'd have survived it. It would certainly have written off the car.

Sworn to protect?

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18 hours ago, Merryck said:

Just before Christmas I was being tailgated by the police in an almost brand new X5. Right up my arse for a good mile or so as I stuck diligently to the speed limit in my little Micra.

When we were in Scotland just after xmas, I was driving along some A roads with a 50MPH limit, and a similar sort of thing happened to me. I was doing 50-53 ish following traffic. Some X5 police car came up behind me and was genuinely so close as for me to not be able to see their headlights, I was waiting for some blue lights and a fucking PIT manouver!!

They carried on for a couple of miles like this, then I got fed up of being purposefully intimidated by some copper with a chip in his shoulder so I indicated left and pulled over to force him to either pass me or come and have a word with me - there were plenty of places he could have overtaken if genuinely in a hurry so I presumed I was going to get pulled over for something.

He passed me, and went on to do the exact same to the car in front, aggressively tailgating for miles, til the car turned off at a junction and then he did the same to the next car. 

I'm really not some kind of "fuck da police" meathead but it was clear this guy was really trying to intimidate and distract people into making some minor driving error and if he'd pulled me over, it would have taken all my self control not to strangle him. 

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I'm sure I've told this once before, but I was once driving the Land Rover home quite late, would have been after midnight. My wife was with me, and as we were driving along a Police car came in the other direction. I looked in my rear view mirror as they passed and said "They're going to pull us over I reckon." We carried on and nothing. No lights or anything. I turned to her and said "Huh, guess I was wrong!".

A few minutes later I see a pair of headlights coming up fast, just as we get to the same part of the road where the stag incident happened they turn on the blue lights and suddenly there's three cars, one overtakes me, the other pulls up next to me and they box us in to pull us over. They wanted to check it wasn't stolen. Again, luckily they weren't too aggressive with it as the Land Rover has drums on the rear. 

I asked if they were the same car we passed further back and they explained they were, and that they weren't able to pull a Land Rover with just one car in the countryside as they'd have no chance of stopping me if I didn't want to be stopped. They checked it was ours and sent us on our way after a couple of minutes. Was quite exciting really!

I'm always happy to be stopped when I'm driving it as they're stolen all the time around here and it means they're more likely to catch whichever fucker's stolen it off me. They always apologise for stopping me so I make sure to tell them to stop that one specifically any time they need to. Hopefully whoever owns it after me doesn't mind!

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so went to hossy yesterday and they said theyd be giving me more pills (on top of the ones im on)

im like ok are they the previous ones before xmas or the ones before that (thing has been going on 18 months) do i eat these with previous ones or no they said no - separate

ok - went to get them and looking at them (the box) its got the same amount

the same dosage - and the strength of the pills is the same

im wondering wtf (even the pharmacy said they are the same strength as the previous ones)

got home and eventually time to take one and open the box (i wondered why it was heavy)

not a blister pack - they look like a steradent packet :D

the other lol is i now dont have to pay for prescriptions :D

lol 3 is on the tube it didnt say what flavour the were - if they were plain fine

the last ones you could get lemon or tutti fruiti :D

these ones - taste like refreshers (i think theyre supposed to be orange :D

medical is nuts :D

 

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I bought lottery tickets for the first time in a month.

Didn't win.

Why is this a grin?

Because it means I'll have to try and acquire vast sums of cash the fun way.

If it was just handed to me I'd probably end up dead in a ditch by 30.

All the parts of my so called plan are slotting into place. The aim isn't even money, just to do something interesting!

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