Popular Post Mr_Bo11ox Posted December 13, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted December 13, 2015 ALRIGHT GANG,As you probably know I had a cheeky bid on a Renner Laguna 2 on Friday, having been inspired by all the goings-on on here. How bad could they be? Pretty terrible apparently, spesh in DCi format but as ENY FULE KNO I am quite partial to a nice 2-litre beater and these Lagunas are available in such a format which I thought ought to be the least worst option. Anyway I watched a few go through the bay then this one popped up only 20 miles from my unit. I chucked a low-ball offer in of £130 and won it for 120! It looked presentable in the ad, the seller seemed reasonably compos mentis and reckoned it was actually ‘OK’ with no massive headaches so I thought I’d better go and get it. Not having any friends I had to do it myself which meant only one option: A-FRAME BITCHES! I looked up the weight of the Laguna and it was 1300kg, the Volvo (I think) weighs 1485 empty, so must be over 1600 with a full tank, me, tools and an A-frame in the back, just scraping within my ‘85%’ self-imposed A-frame weight rule of thumb. The Laguna is really on the upper end of what I would feel OK about ‘framing size/weight wise, but it was only 20 miles on A-roads so I figured I could limit possible carnage by rumbling along at 40 or whatever and not upset anyone too much. Got to the fellers house and he had it out on the road waiting. Seemed honest enough and I think he was a bit surprised that I’d actually turned up, seeing as hardly anyone actually completes eBay motors transactions any more. He fired it up and it sounded alright to me, with the bonnet open it sounded slightly odd but not unhealthy. As advised it flagged up a tyre pressure warning but nowt else so that’s bearable. The tyres did look a bit soft! He kept saying ‘take it for a drive!!!!’ But I couldn’t be arsed, just wanted to get it hooked up and get home. I figured that it must be alright if he was so keen for me to see that it was alright. Annoyingly there is a big chip in the windscreen on the passenger side which he hadn’t mentioned, he started going on about knocking a couple of groat off for that but how much can you knock off a £120 car? I telt him it was fine man and don’t worry about it. Anyway I got all hooked up, paid up, collected the paperwork, took a deep breath and set off. To be fair the Volvo towed it alright. It was raining as seems to be permanently the case now, so I was worried about braking distances etc but it was all fine. Now I was ‘home’ I had a proper look round it. To my surprise it’s actually alright!!!! Chip on the windscreen. Is this an MOT fail? Its on the passengers side but is pretty annoying. The car has 5 months test on so I could get it on the road and maybe the insurance will help me with it if an errant stone should miraculously flick up or whatever. Interior. Its all present and correct, but a bit grimy and honks of fags, which really gives it an authentic ‘£100 car’ ambiance. I hate that, so I will maybe take the seats out and give the carpets a proper scrub to clean it up a bit (accidentally putting the airbag lights on no doubt). However everything seems to work – fan operates at all speeds, 6-disc in-dash CD player does the biz, elec windows go up and down etc. The external temp gizmo reckons its -22deg C today which doesn’t sound right. A great feature of the Laguna are these super handy hooks in the boot for your bungee cords when you inevitably have to hang a trailer board off the back: Outside: It seems to be in its original paint all over which is quite presentable. Theers a dent in the passenger door which I think will knock out a bit, but I’m not going to fanny about with it too much. Also there’s a bit of damage on the B-pillar: On the whole though I would say its very presentable. I quite fancy hitting it up with the polishing mop and taking the wheels off to clean them properly, I think that will smarten it up a lot. I took it for a cheeky blezz up the lane and I must admit it drives well!!!! No clonks or bangs, wheelbearings quiet, doesn’t pull to one side, brakes pull it up sharp etc. The engine is strong and it accelerates very well! The gearshift is a bit stiff, feels like something at the bottom of the lever needs greasing. I had a look at the engine and it doesn’t sound tappy to me but with the bonnet open you can just pick up a strange noise from the timing belt area – no doubt this dephaser pulley thing. The tickover is a bit erratic if it gets a ‘surprise’ from a sharp steering input or whatever but it settles out after a moment so I think that’s a sign of this dephaser thing playing up too. If I go as far as getting this on the road I will change the belt and the dephaser I think, as long there isn't some reason why this job must never be attempted outside of a Renault dealer. The main annoyance on it is the central locking not working – to lock it you have to get everybody out, open the passenger door, ‘central lock’ it with the button on the centre console then lock the passenger door with the metal key. Obv that’s a right fanny on. I presume the key card is to blame for that… it does start the engine OK though. Maybe I can send it away for testing and repair, seen a few places that can get involved with these cards. In summary I am a twat for buying it really, I have no need for it and its just more bother, but luckily not a huge amount of bother so maybe I will persevere with it and get it on the road. It does drive nicely and looks alright so I could probably put up with it for a while and give the 760 a holiday from daily duties for a couple of months. It even has a towbar and I reckon trailering an Ibiza back from France shouldn’t be beyond its capabilities so who knows. Imagine the SHITE INTENSITY of such a combo!!!! warren t claim, Bobthebeard, cort16 and 59 others 62 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 To be honest, although you don't actually need the car, it was so cheap you'd have been mad not to buy it. I for one hope it's actually an ace car, it's good to prove the doubters wrong. The Reverend Bluejeans, skattrd, pompei and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuboy Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 i was offered one of these but 2.2dci it need cambelt etc changing and kept saying needed full dealer service due.. i passed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathan_dyane Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Top bombing! Another thread I'll be checking regularly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaryoldcortina Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 The locking problem will be the microswitches in the card - you can get into them to fix it, but the card is glued together so you have to be really careful with a stanley knife and then glue the bloody thing back together. This is what the £15 ebay blokes do for you (with a varying degree of competence) Suggest maybe get a useless card from a scrappy and practice... Top bomb though! £120 is mental. I suppose you could just leave it unlocked all the time, who's going to steal it? nacho man, flat4alfa and carlo 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathan_dyane Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 What the fuck is a dephaser mind? Richard, Junkman and UltraWomble 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cort16 Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 it doesn't look too hateful. Posh start button and everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garbaldy Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 1300kg seems awfy light for such a big car, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cort16 Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 What the fuck is a dephaser mind? It's a song by the Pixies Junkman, mat_the_cat, flat4alfa and 14 others 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bub2006 Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 I do like the look of these. They do scare me though. At that price you can't go wrong though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greengartside Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Sounds like you've got a MC_BARGAIN going on there. Can't go wrong for 120 notes! Top Bombardements! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lincolndanny Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Was curious how old this car would have been when you started the tat blog-4 years old! Imagine telling you then that you would have been buying one....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexg Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Crikey, £120!? Bargain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nigel bickle Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Shall be watching this with interest, Boll. An interesting valueless jam jar that will probably be extinct in a year or two. Nice A framing too.... What the hell is a dephazer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Or some! Just don't lock it, problem solved! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 jonathan_dyane, on 13 Dec 2015 - 10:07 PM, said:What the fuck is a dephaser mind? It's for taking Perkins engines out. Lacquer Peel, cobblers, UltraWomble and 9 others 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dugong Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 It's for taking Perkins engines out. Bol should lob a Prima in there when the rest of the electronics cark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sporty-shite Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Is it just me, or is this a modern? Seriously, though, at £120, you can't go wrong, can you? Top purchase, M. Bolleaux. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bren Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 You are a gentleman for not beating the price down in true ebay/mouthbreather fashion. And you declined a test drive as well. If carlsberg did ebay buyers....... I wouldn't give two shits about the central locking - no one will steal it, if they could what would they use? An organ donor card? Get the noise sorted on the engine and at a push look for a replacement door in the same colour. Then enjoy....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felly Magic Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 After last night's shenanigans, it is nice to see what passes for normality on here, someone buying an unloved car for buttons, and everyone applauding. Top shiteing Monsieur Gonads Slartibartfast and eddyramrod 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaseracer Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 YO TESTES! Top bombing, sir. Don't forget I only live a few miles the other side of the reservoir, should you need (mechanically incompetent) assistance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R9UKE Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Fantastic. That is a really good looking car *here comes the Laguna II geek* with it's Privilège spec satin chrome door handles, flame red paintwork and headlight washers for those xenon headlights telling oncomers that you're in a rather posh Laguna II. I'm a big fan of those wheels too which don't have the buckling phenomenon that affects the Silverstones. That velour is so satisfying to clean as well. Some carpet cleaner and a damp cloth and that'll come up lovely. Top purchase, I'm actually jealous. Also - if you can feel a physical button clicking in the card when you're trying to lock, but the red light isn't lighting up, try bending the card in different ways as you press the button. This has been the case on a few of mine. Look forward to following this one. Well done. eddyramrod and RoadworkUK 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Bo11ox Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 The card feels dead as a doornail, its as if theres nothing at all under the buttons, I think the little microswitch things must be buggered or have fallen out!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UltraWomble Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 The main annoyance on it is the central locking not working – to lock it you have to get everybody out, open the passenger door, ‘central lock’ it with the button on the centre console then lock the passenger door with the metal key. Obv that’s a right fanny on. I presume the key card is to blame for that…Its a £120 car - why the hell are you bothering to lock it? I dont even bother locking the wifes car and that cost just shy of £9000 Thats a habit that came about from working in Manc and having more than one side window twatted in whilst scallys searched for money / car radio / anything else that they could rob. So I stopped leaving anything of value in the car and stopped locking them. Windows broken since 1993 - nil Nice purchase though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UltraWomble Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 What the fuck is a dephaser mind?Like a cam belt tensioner, but French. skattrd 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
They_all_do_that_sir Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 We had a 2003 espace DCI which im led to believe is the same platform. Much fun Ensued* worst car of ever. It had similar locking issues which soldering the key didn't solve. In the end we never locked it. I think modern pez Renaults are less likely to grenade themselves (unless you are scarycortina) and as shit as these are I think they are a nicer looker than a similar vintage mondeo / vectra and becoming a rare sight on the roads - you still see mk1 lagunas mooching about but mk2 numbers are dwindling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mouseflakes Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 They do look good. Probably the best looking car of their type/era? Any that are alive now can't be too bad surely? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insideimsmiling Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 The thing is that to the average person this looks like a modern well specced desirable motor and not something to be picked up for just over a ton. Of course to the internet experts you are entering a world of pain, but that does look very tempting at that price and I hope that this works out well. Wouldn't make much of a story though! Cavcraft 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bren Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 I suspect if you could repair / circumvent most of the problems these throw at you they would be fairly popular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben_O Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 Excellent! Hope it turns out to be decent. I do wonder how much more he would have dropped if you had perused the not mentioned items.... Might he have ended up paying you to take it away?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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