"It's a great car, but..."

[John F]

I think my Calibra is ace. I've had it 6 years, and I still love driving it as much as I did when I first got it. I've got three other cars & a couple of bikes, but if I could only keep one vehicle out of my collection, the Calibra would be it.

 

BUT... it's got the shittest headlights on any car I've ever driven. Full beam is OK, but I'd get more road illumination if I wore a headtorch than I get from dipped beam.

 

Anyone else got items of shitness to report on their favourite vehicles? I'm not thinking common faults or things that are a biatch to repair, just crap features that slightly let down the overall package.

[Guest]

The utterly shit windscreen wiper switch on my Jensen. It was a posh car once upon a time, but the tossers who built it fitted the most gash and cheapo wiper switch that they could get out of some old Morris or something. The lights are uber shit also, inside and out. The window motors on my 156 were totally shit even when it was just 3 years old, and are shit beyond the realms of shit now. My Lancia is let down by having a shit steering wheel.

[dollywobbler]

BX - no facility for one-wipe of the windscreen wipers. You have to go to intermittent, then back to off. Also, the column stalks are just horrid and the gearchange is never pleasant.

 

2CV - stupendously noisy. I reckon it's done my hearing no end of damage. Also a little more power would often be nice.

[Bren]

Rear lights on the SD1 - tea lights would provide better illumination.

 

However, the full beam is fantastic - like looking at the sun - probably good for near a mile or so on a straight road.

[Guest]

The Fairey Overdrive on my old Series Landy seemed to have no effect other than to increase the already horrible noise made in the completely un soundproofed chodbox to mind splitting levels of horribleness and clangour.

[Timewaster]

Skoda Octavia and its stupid stupid push button / lcd display heater control.

 

You have to take your eye off the road to make the simplest adjustment.

 

If I ever drive it into a skip, or smack a hearse up the arse, that will be why!

[chaseracer]

...clangour...

What a marvellous word.

[Pete-M]

Ye gads, yes the Interceptor wiper switch is a disaster.

 

Mk2 Escort - indeed any 70s Ford dashboard "illumination", you need a candle to see if the buggers are on..

[Micrashed]

BX headlights are also as effective as a cat flap in an elephant house.

 

I used to employ two gnomes to sit on the front of my car with Davey lamps because they gave out more illumination than the stock items did.

[whitevanman]

/\/\What Pete said.....

[Lacquer Peel]

My Swedish VW LT sport is rubbish in almost every way.

It has great headlights though.

[Lord Sterling]

The KV6 engine. Incredibly great engine, smooth and quiet, just a damned shame they didn't build them properly.

[Angrydicky]

The KV6 engine. Incredibly great engine, smooth and quiet, just a damned shame they didn't build them properly.

 

I agree. My dad's 75 has blown one of its head gaskets and is now forcing coolant out of the expansion tank. Shame really, as it was a lovely car, with all the options and the beautiful cream leather/wood rimmed steering wheel, and was really nice to drive, but it looks like the scrapyard beckons once the MOT's out. K-Seal didnae work

[phil_lihp]

A small amount of embarrasment would be caused every time I took passengers in my CR-V and they opened the electric windows - not exactly quick to open, arthritically slow to close again and even slower still with the ignition off. Despite them all being the same I thought perhaps they were seized, took a door apart, found everything in as-new condition, oiled the runners and got no improvement at all. Just pathetically weak motors. Still, the huge glass sunroof moved fast enough and having that open made up for everything.

[oman5]

Volvo 240 AND 740. built like a tank with indestructible mechanicals, yet with door pockets designed to shatter and crack by the simple act of getting in and out of the car.

[Partridge]

My 45-awful seats which make my lower legs and bum go numb after ten miles or so. And I often have to drive it 240 miles in one day

 

And the XJ40-any ex XJ40 or current XJ40 owner who notices how the door handles seem to just break for no reason every few months?

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

My 45-awful seats which make my lower legs and bum go numb after ten miles or so. And I often have to drive it 240 miles in one day

 

And the XJ40-any ex XJ40 or current XJ40 owner who notices how the door handles seem to just break for no reason every few months?

 

 

Have you got an XJ40, Mr Partridge?

 

It's the early ones which have the self destructing door handles; they're almost laughably bad. Later 3.2/4.0 cars have normal handles which open the door. Talking of XJ40s, for Gods sake unless you're a midget, don't get one with a sunroof! Mine has one. I need the seat so reclined I have to practically lie down in the thing, Italian style.

[CreepingJesus]

The headlamps on the V70 aren't great; but then the glass could do with a proper deep polish - they're a wee bit milky - so full judgement will be reserved. On the whole, there's fuck all on mine to go wrong anyway, it's so basic.

Which is why I'm annoyed at myself, for being annoyed at the lack of a variable speed intermittent wipe. It shouldn't matter, really it shouldn't; I've lived with worse. Cartey Horseless's at work have it, and it's only a 5 minute job to drop a VW relay in there to make it happen, so in reality it bloody annoys the nuts off me!

[Station]

Nissan mk2 300ZX z31 - one of the best cars I've owned. You put the wipers on they come on. You turn them off, they give a final, cheeky wipe. Annoying.

Also, heater controls on modern Saabs and Mondeos (and others). You have to press at least three buttons to operate them. I prefer a simple knob control.

[Spiny Norman]

Hateful American style parking brake on my Merc E class.

Not too much of an issue on an auto but how the fuck you're meant to do an 'executive car' style hill start in a manual one is beyond me. Unless you brace the lever with your left foot when you pull the release lever it makes a noise just like a Luton bodied Transit van's chassis cracking just behind the cab.

I've become one of those irritating cunts that sits at traffic lights with my brake lights on since I bought it...

 

Also the dumb alarm system which auto immobilises again if you haven't started the car within 20 seconds of disarming it, which is a real PITA in a supermarket car park.

 

Honourable mention also goes to the indicator stalk which needs as much force to operate as a Renault 16 gear lever.

 

 

That's it though, and it's a miracle that a W210 is still in one un-oxidised piece at all after 17 years so I shouldn't grumble.

[vulgalour]

There is nothing wrong with either of my cars, they are perfect in every way. I'm also a terrible liar.

[Partridge]

My 45-awful seats which make my lower legs and bum go numb after ten miles or so. And I often have to drive it 240 miles in one day

 

And the XJ40-any ex XJ40 or current XJ40 owner who notices how the door handles seem to just break for no reason every few months?

 

 

Have you got an XJ40, Mr Partridge?

 

It's the early ones which have the self destructing door handles; they're almost laughably bad. Later 3.2/4.0 cars have normal handles which open the door. Talking of XJ40s, for Gods sake unless you're a midget, don't get one with a sunroof! Mine has one. I need the seat so reclined I have to practically lie down in the thing, Italian style.

 

Not yet, but I have hands on experience with them. An XJ40 XJ6 may be my next drunk ebay purchase.

[fordperv]

My saph and any late model Sierra, the stupid design inner door handles shit themselves and break at the screw holes then come straight off in your hand if you so much as pull them too hard

[Guest]

The Morris Marina interior door handles on a Lotus Europa or late Elan. They called these "remote control locking" What this means is that they are devices designed to make you lock your keys in the car. Arse.

[Rusty Pelican]

BMW E30 front seats , cloth ones disintegrate and the reclining mechanism is biast rearward not forward , the first time i tried adjusting the seat back angle i ended up lying on my back looking upwards , not ideal whilst driving

[ProgRocker]

My Almera is extremely well equipped for a car built and sold in 2003 but this top of the range model is spoiled by the fact that it lacks a remote boot release (but yet it has a remote fuel cap release) and a seat trim that looks like it came from a base spec. Velour, alcantara or leather would have nice on this.

 

I also don't like the push button heater controls. Very fiddly when driving in the dark. I've always been used to round knobs (oooh Matron!) to regulate this. Although the push buttons are also the same controls for the sat nav so I can see why Nissan has done this.

[Cavcraft]

Brilliant thread, it's easy to forget some of the annoying things about cars you love.

 

Mk2 Cavalier SRi: great car but switchgear always felt like it was made of the 'most likely to break off' plastic and pretty crap handling.

 

Peugeot 306 hatch: seats too low and haven't got the adjuster to raise them being an earlier one. I've got used to it now but I think I only tolerate it because it's got a silly boy racer type sun strip. Peuegot's usual built in refusal to allow all doors to either open, close or lock in one day also annoying. Oh, and the location of the air intake on earlier ones is daft, they are very low and prone to sucking in water in low floods and cabbaging engines. Happily mine has a wanky boy racer chrome dome type air filter.

The digital clock on the estate version is also in a stupid place and doesn't light up, though that could be a blown bulb.

 

Vectra: rear visibility could be better, cars feels a bit wooden at times and location of front window switches is daft. I also fully expect if I ever catch myself offguard and try and put the driver's window all the way down it will fall off/break/snap the runners/implode. Handling also a little skitty on most Vectra B models, too.

[rml2345]

I loved my Yaris (no, really) but the disintegrating front seats are a pain in the arse. They all do it eventually it seems.

Have to agree on Volvo 740 door bins though and the general fit of all the interior plastics is infuriating.

[Station]

Aw11 MR2 seats - can only be comfortable if you're 5 foot 5. Bum is fine, but the backs are too short! Feel like there's nowhere to rest upper back/neck/head, which makes it feel like you're constantly leaning forward.

[brickwall]

My Range Rover goes anywhere and drives like a wet dream, but the rear wiper clears an area so small that a gerbil couldnae peek out.