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Shitting in the shallow end.

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Last up was Yahoo Pauline Butler. 

She likes doing cultural stuff and banana sandwiches. 











Hiya Pauline. 

Pauline, is there meant to be water in footwells of cars?

Yahoo Pauline Butler: "I wouldn't worry about it. Would you like a banana sandwhich"?


Then she ran very fast and jumped over a bollard. 

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Always good to get a bit of advice from the crew. 

So, what have we learned?

Well. I seem to have bought a car from far away without looking at it, from a stranger. 

It has some interesting traits and characteristics but seems so far to be "a decent base (TM)"


It's had a recent clutch, recent water pump and cam belt and has upgraded rear calipers. 

It's 4wd (my first car with drive at all corners) and about as base as you can get for a modern 4x4. 


So what is it?

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What is it?

It's a 2005 Fiat Panda Climbing. 

1.2 pez with 5 on the floor (or dash console in this case). 

110k, with full MOT. 

The 4wd system is described below. 


Four wheel drive (4WD) means that all four wheels are driven; offering the benefit that twice the torque of a two wheel drive (2WD) can be discharged to the ground, particularly on slippery surfaces.

In other words, the 4x4 transmission doubles the drive force discharged to the ground and means that the vehicle can overcome considerable differences in level or steep and difficult terrain while also propelling the vehicle forward if two drive wheels are not enough, e.g. over an icy or snow-covered road surface.

The configuration chosen for the Panda 4x4 is a four wheel drive transmission with two differentials and a viscous coupling. With this system, the four wheel drive is engaged automatically (i.e. without requiring any engagement by the driver) and allows outstanding drive torque distribution over the front and rear axle according to the road surface and vehicle application requirements.

For example, on asphalt roads with normal grip, 98% of the drive torque is directed to the front wheels so that the car can behave in a similar way to a front wheel drive vehicle with equally satisfying handling. It also prevents excessive fuel and tyre consumption due to small differences in rotating speed between the front and rear wheels.

If the road surface becomes slippery - and grip is reduced - the front drive wheels tend to skid but the viscous coupling immediately corrects this tendency by stiffening and progressively transmitting a rising drive torque percentage to the rear end to cancel out the skid.

This torque transfer is not perceptible to the driver except as an outstanding ability to get out of trouble, e.g. on snow-covered, icy or muddy surfaces.

The Fiat Panda 4x4 is also equipped with an antislip system that operates during deceleration by exploiting the potential of the ABS (i.e. making use of the sensors that record wheel rpm) and the electronic engine control system to prevent the engine braking torque and the viscous coupling from causing the rear end to lock during sudden decelerations on downhill slopes or on bends. Together with the four wheel drive system, this ensures great driving safety over slippery surfaces.

Lastly, the Panda 4x4 drive system makes full use of the viscous coupling that forms an integral part of the rear differential unit. The advantage of this configuration is that the drive system is engaged in a relatively immediate, automatic fashion to offer traction and effort when difficult road surface conditions make this necessary.

Now it is time to take a closer look at the way a viscous coupling works. The devices contain a set of perforated or slightly finned discs submerged in a viscous fluid with very specific properties: as the temperature rises, fluid viscosity increases.

When the two driven axles slip, they stir up this fluid and cause its temperature to rise. As soon as the temperature rises, the fluid becomes more viscous and tends to drag the discs together and transmit drive torque to the rear axle. This is a striking and clever piece of engineering because the oil acts as a sensor, i.e. it detects the presence of slip between the axles by its temperature - and also as an actuator because it tends to counteract the slipping effect by increasing its viscosity.


Which is longhand for: they're great. 

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There was no filler cap for the screenwash, which I believe is an IMPORTANT SAFETY FEATURE so I ordered one that would definitely fit from that eBay that they have on the internet these days. That's  an easy win right? Get the ball rolling on the improvement spreadsheet. 

The seller, helpfully send a small selection. 




Of course, none of them fucking fit. 



Sad pipe is sad. 




Being ingenious, I stole the top cover off a pot of home made festive jam and made the best of it. 







That'll keep the squirrels out. 

It'll do for now. 



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On to the tyres. 

The ones that were on were fucked and not the correct size. 

I ordered some Falken Sn110s in the factory correct size 165/65/14.  Reviews seem good and the price was right. 

Of course they're COMICALLY SMALL. 

Off to the races. 












Got an alignment done too. Seems to have straightened the front out lovely. 


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Leave the gearbox for now and on to more important business. 

Floor mats. 


The fabric ones in the car were fucking embroidered with the dealers name and the drivers one was sodden. 

This will not do. 





Skoda Octavia ones nearly fit but are a bit too small. 





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if you save the smoll squares from excess rubber car mats, you can make tiny car mats for scale models cars, which in my experience are often left shamefully NUDE in the mat department.

I am only sharing this information with you because you are FAR AWAY and thus, less likely to enact a hostile takeover of my small but loyal customer base, here in the distant south.

Top work sir, the forum has been less good than it used to never be of late with fewer car purchase tales from your fine self, and a shameful lack of car mat related tomfoolery.

Gearbox might respond well to fresh oil and magic gloop unless its like some 4x4s and has 17 gearboxes hidden all over the place and costs more to refresh the oil in all of them than buying the car in the first place.

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  • Jim Bell changed the title to Shitting in the shallow end.

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