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barefoot

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barefoot last won the day on January 6 2015

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About barefoot

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    Rank: Renault 16

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    Castle Donington

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    England

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  1. I'm not convinced that you'd be able to make it fit.
  2. I once added a baked bean tin tail pipe trim to my Cortina, but the car was a bit rank, so I think I got away with it.
  3. A surprise parcel dropped through my letterbox this morning, a fresh off the press copy of my new book. If you've ever thought of cooking or even trying to exist in a campervan, here's the funniest and yet most practical guide that you'll find anywhere. There's no mention of eating moss or shitting in trenches, but there's a bit about snorting vodka & a guide to tenderising meat using a couple of chopping boards & the back axle of a Volkswagen. Buy it from https://veloce.co.uk/store/Cool-Recipes-&-Camping-Hacks-for-VW-Campers-p290771667 or the ubiquitous Amazon
  4. I've got a sticker on my T2 that says, 'I don't care if your dad used to have one', I am obviously a complete twat.
  5. Someone kept putting dog shit into my wheelie bin. One evening I saw them do it and the following day there was a sign on my bin that read, 'Bloke with black poodle, take your shit home'. There was never any more
  6. It'll never get to a court of law, I'll have the fucker sectioned first.
  7. Mmmm, she's only a little cat... "My cat is not a fan of the sounder"
  8. Believe me, I have looked at such things. But they're a bit hefty & she's a teeny tiny, pretty cat.
  9. The woman already has a half dozen of her own. My cat was the sweetest little thing, but since I've had to repeatedly retrieve it from next door, I've spent a lot of time with it and sat it with the dog. They will both now sit at my feet & beg for food whenever I sit down to eat something off my knee. The dog is good at it and has endless patience, but the cat has a much shorter attention span & swipes at my hands with her claws out. She is not the sort of creature any same person would invite into their home. She has also begun shouting loudly in a hideous outdoor caterwauling st
  10. It's the failure to give it back on demand and cats being defined as 'property' that makes it actual theft, for which she has been reported several times in the past couple of years. At this rate she'll be going to her grave with a fucking criminal record.
  11. Remember my deranged neighbour who used to keep shutting my cat inside her house? Yesterday my cat vanished again - she goes out for ten minutes at a time - after a couple of hours I knew where she'd be. So I went through the charade of walking up & down the street rattling a packet of biscuits. Eventually I knocked on next door's. 'No, I've not seen your cat for three or four days'. 'I'm sorry' I retorted, 'but I no longer believe a word you say, so any chance you could go & have another special look?' This cheery banter, as you might imagine continued for a few minutes before sh
  12. I've got my keyboard back in the right place! The road roller was from the 1920' s or 30’s and had a two letter number plate. To drive it, you'd squeeze a lever on the top of the gear lever and push it forwards to go forwards or back to go backwards. The throttle was a hand lever on the rhs of the drivers seat. I used to be in trouble for giving it full bollock and making it clag ! It didn't go any faster.
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