What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[808 Estate]

[Joey spud]

"There's shit in your carburettor".

"Who's done that " ?

[reb]

Spotted in a village I've not been to in over 15 years and just happened to be passing through killing time.

[Tamworthbay]

[richardmorris]

8 hours ago, Noel Tidybeard said:

ordered some 710 oil from eurocraparts this morning- its arrived about 2 1/2 hours later ?

 

and its the actual stuff wot i ordered ??

Fake news and pull the other one,

[xtriple]

After 4 years of arguing with the local council about my rates and the amount I pay and being given a £16000 bill last year which I obviously disagreed with( !) I received a letter this morning saying.... Yep, I am right and they are wrong!!!!!          

So I owe them £775 not £16000 a tiny bit better I feel.

[Tamworthbay]

[ProgRocker]

Diesel down to 108.7p /litre at Asda. I brimmed my Almera from nearly empty for £41.85.  

38.5 litres. My car must have a small fuel tank. 

[cort1977]

Got the passat through another mot for only 33 quid and a bit of swearing.  All four top suspension arms and a roll bar link changed out.  Chinese shite parts but they didnt seem too bad  and its only an old diesel for the commute so should be ok.  The infamous pinch bolts werent too bad, one side was done recently so moved ok and the other needed a little blow torch therapy but didnt put up too much of a fight.

Happy with that so will use the lockdown to go a bit two bucket wrong un on the fleet.

[Joey spud]

I think my neighbour's run out of toilet roll..

[myglaren]

[High Jetter]

Unleaded 102.7 @ Morrisons Eastbourne today!

 

 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

5 hours ago, Joey spud said:

I think my neighbour's ran out of toilet roll..

Looks like yer man's also discovering the extreme pleasure of farting into the jet.....

[Rovorsche]

I have to wonder how much this would be worth, if it wasnt almost empty and eight years past its use by date .....

 

Discovered in a bag we used on holiday a long time ago

[FakeConcern]

[Three Speed]

10 hours ago, Rovorsche said:

I have to wonder how much this would be worth, if it wasnt almost empty and eight years past its use by date .....

 

Discovered in a bag we used on holiday a long time ago

£6.95 - because I bought something similar in a shop in Ealing a couple of weeks ago for that money. Bit shocked at the price but we needed some and that’s all there was. Got it home and found it was made in 2009!

[Cavcraft]

On 3/25/2020 at 9:54 AM, xtriple said:

After 4 years of arguing with the local council about my rates and the amount I pay and being given a £16000 bill last year which I obviously disagreed with( !) I received a letter this morning saying.... Yep, I am right and they are wrong!!!!!          

So I owe them £775 not £16000 a tiny bit better I feel.

GR8 news, M8, the spare £235 should easily cover your fuel home.

 

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1997-P-BENTLEY-BROOKLANDS-6-8-TURBO-4D-AUTO-300-BHP/223933359015?hash=item342377e3a7:g:a1gAAOSwENZdsOIb

 

WCPGW?

[xtriple]

28 minutes ago, Cavcraft said:

GR8 news, M8, the spare £235 should easily cover your fuel home.

 

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1997-P-BENTLEY-BROOKLANDS-6-8-TURBO-4D-AUTO-300-BHP/223933359015?hash=item342377e3a7:g:a1gAAOSwENZdsOIb

 

WCPGW?

You twat Cavcraft! I am bored and suffering and already weakening in my attitude to poxy old Bentleys after that other fuckwi (joking, jus for comedic effect.... didn't work did it!) posted about wanting to buy a glorious no-hoper. I am weak, I need help.

Please help... just not too much   

[barefoot]

My mother's just rung me to tell me she's found an unopened container of VIM in her kitchen cupboard!

[320touring]

6 minutes ago, barefoot said:

My mother's just rung me to tell me she's found an unopened container of VIM in her kitchen cupboard!

Better than Cif-ilis

[mitsisigma01]

Anyone for gravy, a twin pack, bogof, with bonus free train travel on British Rail.... Unfortunately the train freebie expired over 38 and a bit years ago! 

There's no use by date so it must still be good to eat, aaaah Bisto! 

[anonymous user]

Is everyone going through their cupboards? I dread to think what "out of date" stuff is in mine

[mitsisigma01]

Washing machine leaked under the stairs where I keep some liquid refreshments, had to clear out to change the carpet.... 

46 stubby bottles of French lager, February 2015.

French sparkling stuff, 18 bottles 2011.

Thank fk the Mrs can't do anymore booze runs to France 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

1 hour ago, mitsisigma01 said:

...French sparkling stuff, 18 bottles 2011.... 

Think I can beat that.

3 bottles of Alfred Gratien 1985.

[mitsisigma01]

2 hours ago, mitsisigma01 said:

Anyone for gravy, a twin pack, bogof, with bonus free train travel on British Rail.... Unfortunately the train freebie expired over 38 and a bit years ago! 

There's no use by date so it must still be good to eat, aaaah Bisto! 

These came from my partners grandads hoard a while back, I even managed to sell one on ebay!! Not the contents, just the box.... Anyone on here ?

[iainrcz]

Today, after asking the Mrs an innocent question I learnt : "no matter how many times you ask me, I will never have any baler twine"

I didn't bother to ask if she had any old pairs of tights to cut up.

Every day's a school day and all that.

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[anonymous user]

I have just seen a stupid advert for one of those credit check companies. It has a bloke looking sadly at his battered Mk2 Ford Escort, then checking his credit score, eventually ending up with an Audi. In reality he could probably sell the Escort and buy an Audi outright without borrowing.

[hairnet]

4 hours ago, mitsisigma01 said:

Washing machine leaked under the stairs where I keep some liquid refreshments, had to clear out to change the carpet.... 

46 stubby bottles of French lager, February 2015.

French sparkling stuff, 18 bottles 2011.

Thank fk the Mrs can't do anymore booze runs to France 

@Frogchod cant do any of that

any alcohol purchased is gone within hours

[mitsisigma01]

If this lurgy keeps up I'll be OK, probably got enough booze in the house to stay permanently pissed for about a year, usually I don't drink at home but put me down the pub and I can do about 10 pints and a few shorts in a few hours.... But the recovery time does appear to be taking longer ???

[paulplom]

Thank god for our local Asian corner shops. £53 for 48 cans. I should have enough for a canny weekend now.

 

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