The grumpy thread

[Parky]

So she literally knows where the bodies are buried?

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Mum's boyfriend probably did...

[Timewaster]

Just got asked this IMPOSSIBLE question by a bloke doing a survey outside Argos.

 

“What would you rather - sex twice a day for life with your Mrs...or a brand new car” ??

 

I honestly don’t know.

 

What would you go for? Petrol or Diesel?

Ah, see, a new car will soon look old and a bit battered and the novelty won't last long...

 

But then your Mrs on the other hand......

 

Oh..

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Ah, see, a new car will soon look old and a bit battered and the novelty won't last long...

 

But then your Mrs on the other hand......

 

Oh..

 

....has a punishing moisturising regime?

[Snipes]

Couldn’t agree more. It’s infuriating - when you don’t want them on during the day (the outer wall is floor to ceiling glass) they’re on and then at night they go off! Infuriating! I really don’t know what was wrong with light switches.

 

That restaurant sounds good to me, there’s been a number of occasions I’ve been left in the dark in a public toilet

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You should be able to adjust the PIR so it doesn't switch at certain levels of light.

[Guest Hooli]

He's not trusted to use a light switch, they won't let him adjust a PIR!

[purplebargeken]

So. No dog when I retire as it will upset the cats.

 

So, no moving despite increased gun and knife crime on the doorstep. Nope, cos you are retiring and you've pressured me into thinking about moving.

 

So, all the ideas and comments about moving have been bullshit then.

 

Silence.

 

So there you go, fucking wonderful. The only thing that has kept me half sane all of this time has now been erased. Thanks a fucking bunch.

 

Sad and lonely? You don't know when you're winning. Trust me. 

[Guest Hooli]

Sorry to hear that Ken.

[purplebargeken]

Cheers mate.

 

No doubt it'll be the garage next.

[Eddie Honda]

like Rimmers sticking VAT on the postage cost which they absolutely shouldn't do.

They absolutely should, because as the goods are VAT liable, so is the P&P. Basic VAT stuff that.

[myglaren]

Novelty desk ornament is a good idea, really like the fan idea! Ta

 

 

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An otherwise unused infrared remote control should retrigger the sensor, or cobble together a pulsed IR led transmitter - one pulse every few minutes should suffice.

 

 

I was buggering about in the spare bedroom/junkroom/'workshop' - fixed the rear parcel shelf hinge for the C5.  Been looking for the broken-off bit for ages, found it when I emptied a planter full of Polyanthus plants a couple of days ago.

 

Asked Alexa to set an alarm for one hour.

 

I'm in an upstairs room, Classic FM left on in the dining room. Hear some odd 'music' and after about five minutes, quiet bit between music, realise it is Alexa beeping away.

 

Problem is I have no idea what I was supposed to do when that hour was up

[mrbenn]

Had a "friend" round for seemingly no reason other than to tell me, in considerable detail, how ill she has been with the norovirus until very recently.

 

I can't be the only person that thinks it is completely inappropriate to go making pointless house visits (or go into work etc) when you're basically still contagious with some nasty shit? I mean, what the entire fuck??

 

I've had the norovirus twice and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

[Tamworthbay]

My electric power saw has just gone bang big time. Cutting a piece of 4x2 and it jammed, jumped about an inch in the air and spat its guts out. The gear that connects the motor to the blade has disintegrated and punched itself out the housing. I was cutting across a knot but that shouldn’t have killed it, can only think there is a hidden nail or something in there. I was going to sell it after this job as well but will end up buying a new one now to finish it.

[dozeydustman]

I appear to have caught the snots off my wife & stepdaughter. My sinuses hurt.

[panhard65]

Fucking delivery companies are pissing me off today. First up I ordered so bits from Rock auto in the US they sent two parcels by DHL. DHL then gave them to Yodel for delivery in the UK. The Yodel driver delivered one of the parcels and can I find what happened to the other can I fuck. You can't get anyone from Yodel on the phone and it seems they can't grasp the fact that they only delivered one of 2 parcels and the driver is now bullshitting and saying he delivered it.

Then I have the fuck up that is ordering from Birdsnest a Thunderbird parts specialist. I ordered 2 really small parts that would of gone in a standard envelope as it was just small o rings. These twats decided to send another catalog with it which tripled the size and weight of the order which pushed the postage cost up. They also sent it so Parcelforce got involved, 12 quid the robbers charged for collecting the duty, so 68 dollars worth of parts and rip off postage cost me another 23 quid in vat and fees. That will be enough gumps for now but it has been a really trying week thanks to the NHS

[myglaren]

My electric power saw has just gone bang big time. Cutting a piece of 4x2 and it jammed, jumped about an inch in the air and spat its guts out. The gear that connects the motor to the blade has disintegrated and punched itself out the housing. I was cutting across a knot but that shouldn’t have killed it, can only think there is a hidden nail or something in there. I was going to sell it after this job as well but will end up buying a new one now to finish it.

I got an Evolution Fury saw - no research, just grabbed it off the shelf in Machine Mart.

Will slice through nails without noticing them -I've cut 2" stainless pipe with it without any bother.

 

[loserone]

I have one of their mitre saws, and it's brilliant.

 

Wish I'd got one that extended to cut e.g. taller skirting boards though

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Yeah because people are too stupid to setup points properly.

 

 

Not that at all. 30 years ago when shit like points were still being used, you could buy new ones and condensers that were of decent enough quality to last a year or two. Not any more. It's all 3p's worth of Chinese shit. I've looked back and the last car I had with points was a 1977 Alfasud in 1996. That had some nonsense called a 'carburettor' as well whatever that is.

 

22 years of electronic ignition. 

[wuvvum]

The Rover 75's locking / alarm issues still aren't sorted.  It hasn't put the door open warning light on whilst driving for a while now, but for the last two nights it's set the alarm off - last night it was about 3am and the car was up the road in the car park so I had to get up, get dressed and walk up the road - by which time it had stopped, but I unlocked the car to prevent it happening again.  Then when I went back to the car this afternoon the interior lights were on, which obvs meant it thought it had an open door again.  Oh, and the battery was flat and needed jump starting. 

 

This evening I parked it in front of the house and the alarm went off about half an hour after I locked it.  I had to unlock it with the remote and then go out and lock it manually using the buttons on the doors, which doesn't activate the alarm - but if it keeps switching its interior lights etc on every 5 minutes (the sat nav DVD player fires up every time a door opens too, and that must nom a lot more current than the courtesy lights) then it's going to keep flattening its battery.  Which is awkward as it's supposed to be my daily at the moment.  I think I'm going to have to take the door apart and see if I can unplug the switch (as it's a "modern", the switch is inside the door catch mechanism, rather than being a nice easy-to-access pin switch like on a proper car).

[sheffcortinacentre]

Fucking Yodel have been "transporting "a 20L drum of oil since the 11th Nov all the other parts Inc one from abroad ordered at the same time have been here since earlier this week!

[Zelandeth]

Again, minor grump...

 

Back a few years ago when I worked alongside public transport bobs, I walked past the graveyard at the back of First's yard every couple of days, and had been basically given the clear to raid any of the hulks in Bluebird's depot in Insch that were condemned for anything provided it wasn't high value and so long as I made a suitable donation to the coffee fund.

 

Never did though. Kick myself as I always wanted to grab the "Panic Panel" from a B10 (little grid with all the OMG warning lights in), or raid a MAN 18.220 for all the warning lights in the dash (they're individual ones like the Merc T1). Both under the heading of "no idea what I'd do with them...but I want them anyways."

 

The main thing I was specifically offered twice though were a couple of destination blinds. They'd been stripped out of a scrapped vehicle for replacement purposes - only to be replaced with new fangled LED ones, and were destined for the bin. I turned it down though on account of having "no space for it" in the flat at the time. Bloody common sense.

 

Fast forward five years, an now have a nice chunk of wall of my own I can attach stuff to. Saw a display of this type being used at an event recently which reminded me I'd originally wanted one. So had a dig around online...wait... they're selling for HOW MUCH on eBay?!?

 

If you're in a situation where stuff you think you might want crosses your path, just go with it already...or you'll wind up kicking yourself afterwards!

[paulplom]

My electric power saw has just gone bang big time. Cutting a piece of 4x2 and it jammed, jumped about an inch in the air and spat its guts out. The gear that connects the motor to the blade has disintegrated and punched itself out the housing. I was cutting across a knot but that shouldn’t have killed it, can only think there is a hidden nail or something in there. I was going to sell it after this job as well but will end up buying a new one now to finish it.

I have one you can lend if you're local. It's a 255mm sliding one.

[Mrcento]

like Rimmers sticking VAT on the postage cost which they absolutely shouldn't do.

 

Rimmers... never has a company been so aptly named.

 

They stock a lot of impossible to get hold of elsewhere Land Rover parts.

 

I was unfortunate enough to need them when the security ring sheered off on my Discos lock barrel for central locking/alarm, the part itself must have cost about 30p to manufacture, list price was meant to be something like £4.80.

 

Rimmers price? £12.

 

+ VAT

 

+ P&P (full price, despite it just being put in a plastic bag covering a normal envelope!)

 

+VAT on P&P.

 

Ended up costing around £20 for what was effectively a giant guitar plectrum with a hole bored out it.

 

They still send me glossy magazines every so often, so the money they are wasting on that is slowly reclaiming some of the overpay.

[Angrydicky]

Fucking delivery companies are pissing me off today. First up I ordered so bits from Rock auto in the US they sent two parcels by DHL. DHL then gave them to Yodel for delivery in the UK. The Yodel driver delivered one of the parcels and can I find what happened to the other can I fuck. You can't get anyone from Yodel on the phone and it seems they can't grasp the fact that they only delivered one of 2 parcels and the driver is now bullshitting and saying he delivered it.

Then I have the fuck up that is ordering from Birdsnest a Thunderbird parts specialist. I ordered 2 really small parts that would of gone in a standard envelope as it was just small o rings. These twats decided to send another catalog with it which tripled the size and weight of the order which pushed the postage cost up. They also sent it so Parcelforce got involved, 12 quid the robbers charged for collecting the duty, so 68 dollars worth of parts and rip off postage cost me another 23 quid in vat and fees. That will be enough gumps for now but it has been a really trying week thanks to the NHS

Because Rock Auto sent it (even though it isn't their fault) it's their problem to sort out. You should contact them and advise the parts failed to arrive. Let them chase DHL/Yodel. They'll end up sending replacements out. No point you getting stressed about it! This kind of thing happens regularly at work and when it's flagged to us that a parcel has gone astray, it's usually my job to chase the firm involved and often they um and ah about it for a while before admitting they've lost the parcel. We then have to send replacement goods to the customer, before filing a claim if it's a high value parcel, or writing it off if it's a low value one. The track and sign method is supposed to stop parcels going missing, but it doesn't take into account the stupid drivers who sign for it themselves then lob it over a wall/leave it at another address across town/around the corner/in the wrong town entirely.

Have you tried using US Automotive in Bedford for parts? I believe they keep a lot of stock here in the UK.

[Tamworthbay]

I have one you can lend if you're local. It's a 255mm sliding one.

Thanks mate that’s really kind! I love this place. Luckily my sparky mate has one with a duff guard so we are going to cannabalise mine to get his safe so win win.

[Mrcento]

Fucking delivery companies are pissing me off today. First up I ordered so bits from Rock auto in the US they sent two parcels by DHL. DHL then gave them to Yodel for delivery in the UK. The Yodel driver delivered one of the parcels and can I find what happened to the other can I fuck. You can't get anyone from Yodel on the phone and it seems they can't grasp the fact that they only delivered one of 2 parcels and the driver is now bullshitting and saying he delivered it.

 

Welcome to my world!

 

Problem i have is living in a building with stairs and a security door.

 

Was waiting a while back for a parcel, there's a card through the door, DHL.... not a hope in hell the guy rang, was in all day. "You weren't in". Phoned to rearrange delivery... "We'll deliver tomorrow", annoying but fine.

 

Knowing what happened the day before, i watch for the van, it pulls up outside.... good. Guy then just drives off. I phone DHL and they say they will investigate... they call back "He couldn't get access to your property". NO SHIT SHERLOCK, He didn't get out the van to try. I watched him pull up and drive off again. It took a week to finally get someone who could be arsed to get out the van AND carry the parcel up stairs.

 

I've had UPS divert a parcel from Edinburgh to Dundee via Lincolnshire and lose it there.

 

I've had TNT manage to misplace an entire engine.

 

FedEx deliver the package right back to the sender without it ever getting further than their first relay depot.

 

Yodel, much like DHL, plain refuse to deliver due to there being a security door.

 

etc etc, if you are waiting on 3 parcels, 2 of them will have an issue of some sorts.

 

I detest home delivery.

 

I suspect a lot of it comes down to unreasonable targets for deliver drivers though, they see something that might delay them when they have x amount to do in a set time = avoiding to save time.

[Floatylight]

Thanks mate that’s really kind! I love this place. Luckily my sparky mate has one with a duff guard so we are going to cannabalise mine to get his safe so win win.

If that doesn't work I've got a chop saw you can borrow ..

 

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk

[somewhatfoolish]

hates home delivery

 

 

I'm surprised that every corner shop/newsagent/local PO in the UK haven't signed up en-mass to be collection and delivery points for the non-door-to-door courier stuff, situations like yours must be very common if not the majority in urban areas; none are exactly brimming with commercial success these days with their margins squeezed by the taxman, supermarkets, internetz media, and the Royal Mail making postmastery an act of charity rather than a living wage.

[MikeR]

what next ..  a yellow snow warning ...

 

looks like its going to piss down ...

 

https://www.express.co.uk/news/weather/1049668/UK-weather-forecast-today-Saturday-Met-Office-forecast-latest-rain-flooding-yellow-warning

 

UK weather forecast: Yellow rain warning issued as Britons brace for heavy downpours 

[Pillock]

I'm surprised that every corner shop/newsagent/local PO in the UK haven't signed up en-mass to be collection and delivery points for the non-door-to-door courier stuff, situations like yours must be very common if not the majority in urban areas; none are exactly brimming with commercial success these days with their margins squeezed by the taxman, supermarkets, internetz media, and the Royal Mail making postmastery an act of charity rather than a living wage.

Round here they have; certainly Hermes and UPS.

 

Last time I used UPS they needed just six quid to get a fairly hefty parcel from the Midlands to London in less than 18 hours. And behind the newsagents counter was a huge pile of them.... Dunno what their cut is but it probably pays better than Mars Bars.