The grumpy thread

[Noel Tidybeard]

mr POD, my question was aimed primarily at the honorable lord sterling but thank you for going to the trouble to put it into words

 

your other half has certainly got an A level in being right and getting her own way!

 

my ex had a thing going on where she played the victim with plenty of tears- OK she had been abused by her father but you cant blame that for everything that doesnt go your way, we went for counselling and the feller talking to me told me to challenge this behavior with a "why are you crying?" which was quite effective!

 

i sincerely hope you find a way forward- its hard being in the wrong 24/7

[Wack]

A colleague.

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/horrific-footage-shows-moment-just-15402872

Feral scumbags , this is what happens 15 years down the line when scum get paid to breed

[Ghosty]

Feral scumbags , this is what happens 15 years down the line when scum get paid to breed

I've heard a rumour their parents are no better.

[mrbenn]

A colleague.

 

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/horrific-footage-shows-moment-just-15402872

 

Horrible to watch

[Zelandeth]

Really minor grump in the grand scheme of things...

 

I've been trying to get a document written out now since the very end of 2015, and must have started the blasted thing a dozen times now. Having been to the fourth iteration of the event at the core of this a couple of weeks ago it's again at the forefront of my mind.

 

Finally got an opportunity to sit down this afternoon to attack it.

 

In quick succession we had...

 

[] A cold caller at the door trying to sell me repair work to our roof which they obviously weren't even close to being capable of delivering.

 

[] Phone call from "the Legal Department at AA Auto Assist regarding my recent automobile accident" - that's three this week so far.

 

[] Next door's cats having a spat right outside the back door, right in full view of our dog who had been snoozing, unsurprisingly he took great interest in this and basically exploded with excitement as huskies are known to do.

 

[] Amazon delivery literally as I pulled the seat out to sit down from sorting that out.

 

[] Then Yodel delivery for a house number that doesn't exist for a name I've never heard of.

 

[] Wrong number phone call to the land line, which made me jump as it rings so rarely.

 

[] Knocked coffee over as I sat back down at the table.

 

...Then got a text asking me to go and pick Abby up from the station because she was running early.

 

Gave up at that point.

 

How can it be so difficult to sit down and get a few pages of text typed out?

 

Maybe tomorrow? Just felt like one of those afternoons where things were just stacked against me!

[Kiltox]

Unplug the landline if you don’t ever use it - I haven’t had one for years now despite having “a line”

[Wack]

Horrible to watch

Agreed , the old guy and the child stood in the doorway saying leave him alone makes it worse , that looks like a place the army need to be sent in if they can run around in gangs like that unchallenged.

 

I don't get stealing phones , it'll be blocked by now so worthless

[Lord Sterling]

is the wife actually doing anything useful herself? it all seems/sounds like she just sat on her arse doing feck all and everything is your responsibility/fault

Sorry, didn't see this earlier. Amazingly, she is doing something, she works at school helping kids get to and from school and speaking to parents. However, as a refugee who has the right to remain (as long as she doesn't step out of Turkey) she doesn't earn anywhere near enough to help herself, so I must help which I don't mind doing. What I do mind is being told about having to cover big bills when they actually happen, giving me little or no time to plan ahead. I've tried to explain that the cost of living here isn't cheap and what earn barely covers what I need so it isn't like I can simply put my hand in my bank account and pull a wad of cash out. It still seems a bit difficult for her to comprehend this but most probably because she doesn't actually see the difficulties I have to sort through over here. We've never lived together. She comes from a family where seemingly she never went without. Different cultures and different understandings of life and all that.

[Wack]

Saw Kurt Russell on TV last week , thought he's aged well then saw Tombstone coming up on sky , just watched it , but how can it be 25 years old

[Zelandeth]

Unplug the landline if you don’t ever use it - I haven’t had one for years now despite having “a line”

To be honest, if it rings a few times a year that's it. Main reason it's there is because my gran refuses to call a mobile number "because it's too expensive." She turned 90 last year, so there's no arguing...though to be honest I can deal with that quirk... I'm the only one who really tries to stay in touch out of the family, and am the only one who lives in the same end of the country, so makes sense for me to keep that line of communication open.

[chaseracer]

Really minor grump in the grand scheme of things...

 

I've been trying to get a document written out now since the very end of 2015, and must have started the blasted thing a dozen times now. Having been to the fourth iteration of the event at the core of this a couple of weeks ago it's again at the forefront of my mind.

 

Finally got an opportunity to sit down this afternoon to attack it.

 

In quick succession we had...

 

[] A cold caller at the door trying to sell me repair work to our roof which they obviously weren't even close to being capable of delivering.

 

[] Phone call from "the Legal Department at AA Auto Assist regarding my recent automobile accident" - that's three this week so far.

 

[] Next door's cats having a spat right outside the back door, right in full view of our dog who had been snoozing, unsurprisingly he took great interest in this and basically exploded with excitement as huskies are known to do.

 

[] Amazon delivery literally as I pulled the seat out to sit down from sorting that out.

 

[] Then Yodel delivery for a house number that doesn't exist for a name I've never heard of.

 

[] Wrong number phone call to the land line, which made me jump as it rings so rarely.

 

[] Knocked coffee over as I sat back down at the table.

 

...Then got a text asking me to go and pick Abby up from the station because she was running early.

 

Gave up at that point.

 

How can it be so difficult to sit down and get a few pages of text typed out?

 

Maybe tomorrow? Just felt like one of those afternoons where things were just stacked against me!

 

Are you by any small chance related to Samuel Taylor Coleridge?  Live anywhere near Porlock...?

 

[Kiltox]

To be honest, if it rings a few times a year that's it. Main reason it's there is because my gran refuses to call a mobile number "because it's too expensive." She turned 90 last year, so there's no arguing...though to be honest I can deal with that quirk... I'm the only one who really tries to stay in touch out of the family, and am the only one who lives in the same end of the country, so makes sense for me to keep that line of communication open.

Fair enough.

[Wack]

You know when you can see a car crash coming and you don't seem to be able to avoid it?

So it started on Friday afternoon. When the gas man wanted to see our instruction booklet for the gas fire whilst he was doing a service. I had not filed in in the correct place in the filing cabinet and with it were other things not filed correctly.

This is the start. She took this as a personal insult that I would just stuff things at the back.

But she let it go eventually because we had to do our daughter a favour but then went out for an early evening Chinese meal with her. Back home she pretty much went off to bed because tired.

Saturday came and we were due to look at a house. Now there's a lot of stress involved in this. So there was much discussion and looking at previous sales in the area on right move. This is tiring for her. By the time we'd seen it we really were not sure. But she wanted to go to Vents Garden centre near Leigh. It's fucking massive. Overpriced, and rammed with people.

It wasn't a pleasant experience.

So then we went to another shop miles away.

Anyway we got home and we were both knackered. We had tea. And at about 8pm she decided to go to bed. Because tired and nothing on Tv and I stayed up a bit to try to find a nice hotel for our planned night away in 2 weeks time.

Well, I came up to bed at about 10:30 and she had been having a nightmare. Unfortunately my lazy attempts to make it better by suggesting that she should pull herself together was proof that I am very unkind and resulted in me having to sleep in the spare room.

In the morning she was in a foul mood and refused to accept my apology. In fact she was pretty horrible all the way to look at house 2. At one point before this she was asking me to compare the house we looked at 6 weeks ago with the one on Saturday with we were going to see.

I honestly think the very first house is the best bet. But she had been clear at the time that she didn't want to consider it. She was shocked when I said that at the time I'd thought she was wrong, but it's not my place to force through my opinions. It seems to me that there's a fine line between being a spineless lazy twat with no opinions and a bully who forces through his opinions and gets his own way.

I digress. We went to look at the other house. It had something weird going on with the way they'd tried to connect the outhouse to the house.

When we left there was major disappointment.

As I drove towards home I was told she didn't want to go home and stare at the walls, and watch the telly, and hadn't I arranged anything for her day, that I was lazy, didn't think about her all week, had no ideas, etc etc. I almost had a meltdown in the car. I offered various lame ideas like going for a coffee, or into Liverpool but we ended up driving home with her going on about how shit I was treating her.

When home there was screaming and tears from.her and she told me to piss off to Wolverhampton (where I have to be in the week)

Now me going is apparently the cruelest thing in the world. I could see she was distraught so I should not have left just like that.

So I have now spoken to her 3 times and I'd arranged to go home tomorrow after work. There was clearly anger that I hadn't thought to come home on Monday but I'd been dropped in the shit this week and was having to witness and audit the build of a new standard of some complicated drive unit with a representative from the customer from Canada so I didn't finish until 7 pm.

Anyway, the last time I spoke to her she said there was no point on me coming home if I had nothing to offer to make it better.

So to sumarise.

I am not allowed to say sorry. (Because it just rolls off my tongue and I don't mean it)

I am not allowed to try to explain (Because that's me trying to justify myself)

I'm not allowed to point out her behaviours that contributed to this state of affairs (Because that's me attacking her)

I'm not allowed to share my thoughts and tears with anyone else or ask advice (Because that's me sharing my lies with others)

Basically I have nothing to offer but the shitty end of a shit stick.

What others would suggest? I'm at a fucking loss.

You sir have the patience of a saint

 

I'd be looking for a flat for one , not a house , are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this woman.

 

Agreed about Bents though , we went looking for a summerhouse there , they had one that looked like it'd blow away in a strong wind but we could have the ex display one at 25% off, a bargain at £3500

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Really? Brodies is off the north circular and the only other I know is the one I use in isleworth.

 

It's entirely possible that the Isleworth joint is the one that the Staples Corner boss is referring to.

 

I've been to Brodies. The head honcho there seems frankly disinterested in taking on a CX (he has no shortage of customers' DSs, SMs and assorted Maseratis to work on, and only enough space indoors for three cars) and I think I have said previously that waiting for a call back from them was like being on the waiting list for some golf club that you had no hope of ever being admitted to as a member. So they're off my list.

 

French Car Specialists in Friern Barnet (very near me) say they're more than happy to deal with the everyday servicing of the CX, but are reluctant to take on major gearbox rebuild work themselves because, as a high-turnover workshop, they don't want a car occupying a bay for weeks on end. They took on a customer's project and it's still sitting there with them, some ten months later.....

[Kiltox]

NewPOD my man - can I remind you that the main board on this forum is public and you should consider posting on the other two if that concerns you ?

[Uncle Jimmy]

There are several Jimmys Garages which ever one could you mean?

Yeah, bit like Tommy Cooper's flower pots

[Kiltox]

I love but am also quite scared by how much Hoovies Garage is me but with more disposable income

[Noel Tidybeard]

How can it be so difficult to sit down and get a few pages of text typed out?

 

Maybe tomorrow? Just felt like one of those afternoons where things were just stacked against me!

 

go and lock youself in the mercedes-of-win and take inspiration from the lush vulgalour velour

[Zelandeth]

go and lock youself in the mercedes-of-win and take inspiration from the lush vulgalour velour

Good thought...have just the period appropriate bit of kit for the job too...

 

 

Two years newer than the van...and probably cost half as much as the van did...

[Noel Tidybeard]

Sorry, didn't see this earlier. Amazingly, she is doing something, she works at school helping kids get to and from school and speaking to parents. However, as a refugee who has the right to remain (as long as she doesn't step out of Turkey) she doesn't earn anywhere near enough to help herself, so I must help which I don't mind doing. What I do mind is being told about having to cover big bills when they actually happen, giving me little or no time to plan ahead. I've tried to explain that the cost of living here isn't cheap and what earn barely covers what I need so it isn't like I can simply put my hand in my bank account and pull a wad of cash out. It still seems a bit difficult for her to comprehend this but most probably because she doesn't actually see the difficulties I have to sort through over here. We've never lived together. She comes from a family where seemingly she never went without. Different cultures and different understandings of life and all that.

 

there still seems to be that age old idea that Britains streets are paved in gold- newsflash people they never were and still aren't

 

it does seem that you are stuck between a rock and a hard place Mo- keep plodding on

 

get youself a nhs jobs account set up and keep an eye open for the non-clinical stuff, i'm about to start as a non emergency patient transport person at the end of month \o/ so there is hope even if you're over 50 lol

[Mrcento]

Anyway, the last time I spoke to her she said there was no point on me coming home if I had nothing to offer to make it better.

So to sumarise.

I am not allowed to say sorry. (Because it just rolls off my tongue and I don't mean it)

I am not allowed to try to explain (Because that's me trying to justify myself)

I'm not allowed to point out her behaviours that contributed to this state of affairs (Because that's me attacking her)

I'm not allowed to share my thoughts and tears with anyone else or ask advice (Because that's me sharing my lies with others)

 

Basically I have nothing to offer but the shitty end of a shit stick.

 

What others would suggest? I'm at a fucking loss.

 

At no point in this (maybe it has been said in an earlier post, i haven't been back to look), do you say what you want in all this. It's all focused on her, her actions, her words, her opinion and bending yourself to making her happy, what about your happiness?

 

Do you want to fix things and make it work? or do you want to just make it all stop?. Because the way to achieve either of those things is very likely a different answer towards making them happen.

 

i'd say that's the first thing you really need to ask, what do you want?

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

It's entirely possible that the Isleworth joint is the one that the Staples Corner boss is referring to.

 

I've been to Brodies. The head honcho there seems frankly disinterested in taking on a CX (he has no shortage of customers' DSs, SMs and assorted Maseratis to work on, and only enough space indoors for three cars) and I think I have said previously that waiting for a call back from them was like being on the waiting list for some golf club that you had no hope of ever being admitted to as a member. So they're off my list.

 

French Car Specialists in Friern Barnet (very near me) say they're more than happy to deal with the everyday servicing of the CX, but are reluctant to take on major gearbox rebuild work themselves because, as a high-turnover workshop, they don't want a car occupying a bay for weeks on end. They took on a customer's project and it's still sitting there with them, some ten months later.....

Chrevronics?

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

You know when you can see a car crash coming and you don't seem to be able to avoid it?

So it started on Friday afternoon. When the gas man wanted to see our instruction booklet for the gas fire whilst he was doing a service. I had not filed in in the correct place in the filing cabinet and with it were other things not filed correctly.

This is the start. She took this as a personal insult that I would just stuff things at the back.

But she let it go eventually because we had to do our daughter a favour but then went out for an early evening Chinese meal with her. Back home she pretty much went off to bed because tired.

Saturday came and we were due to look at a house. Now there's a lot of stress involved in this. So there was much discussion and looking at previous sales in the area on right move. This is tiring for her. By the time we'd seen it we really were not sure. But she wanted to go to Vents Garden centre near Leigh. It's fucking massive. Overpriced, and rammed with people.

It wasn't a pleasant experience.

So then we went to another shop miles away.

Anyway we got home and we were both knackered. We had tea. And at about 8pm she decided to go to bed. Because tired and nothing on Tv and I stayed up a bit to try to find a nice hotel for our planned night away in 2 weeks time.

Well, I came up to bed at about 10:30 and she had been having a nightmare. Unfortunately my lazy attempts to make it better by suggesting that she should pull herself together was proof that I am very unkind and resulted in me having to sleep in the spare room.

In the morning she was in a foul mood and refused to accept my apology. In fact she was pretty horrible all the way to look at house 2. At one point before this she was asking me to compare the house we looked at 6 weeks ago with the one on Saturday with we were going to see.

I honestly think the very first house is the best bet. But she had been clear at the time that she didn't want to consider it. She was shocked when I said that at the time I'd thought she was wrong, but it's not my place to force through my opinions. It seems to me that there's a fine line between being a spineless lazy twat with no opinions and a bully who forces through his opinions and gets his own way.

I digress. We went to look at the other house. It had something weird going on with the way they'd tried to connect the outhouse to the house.

When we left there was major disappointment.

As I drove towards home I was told she didn't want to go home and stare at the walls, and watch the telly, and hadn't I arranged anything for her day, that I was lazy, didn't think about her all week, had no ideas, etc etc. I almost had a meltdown in the car. I offered various lame ideas like going for a coffee, or into Liverpool but we ended up driving home with her going on about how shit I was treating her.

When home there was screaming and tears from.her and she told me to piss off to Wolverhampton (where I have to be in the week)

Now me going is apparently the cruelest thing in the world. I could see she was distraught so I should not have left just like that.

So I have now spoken to her 3 times and I'd arranged to go home tomorrow after work. There was clearly anger that I hadn't thought to come home on Monday but I'd been dropped in the shit this week and was having to witness and audit the build of a new standard of some complicated drive unit with a representative from the customer from Canada so I didn't finish until 7 pm.

Anyway, the last time I spoke to her she said there was no point on me coming home if I had nothing to offer to make it better.

So to sumarise.

I am not allowed to say sorry. (Because it just rolls off my tongue and I don't mean it)

I am not allowed to try to explain (Because that's me trying to justify myself)

I'm not allowed to point out her behaviours that contributed to this state of affairs (Because that's me attacking her)

I'm not allowed to share my thoughts and tears with anyone else or ask advice (Because that's me sharing my lies with others)

Basically I have nothing to offer but the shitty end of a shit stick.

What others would suggest? I'm at a fucking loss.

Having been here myself, I’d just walk. Bollocks to that.

[vulgalour]

The TL:DR sounds like it's a case of "just do as you're told."  The frequency of your posts on the matter and the distress it seems to be causing you are hallmarks of an abusive relationship, which is a concern.  However, this is balanced by us only hearing your side, her's may be different, or not.  Fundamentally, a bunch of randoms on the internet is not the best source of advice in this situation, it sounds developed enough an issue that, as others have suggested, professional assistance should be involved, if for nothing else than your own health.

 

I do hope you find a resolution to the root cause of the unpleasantness and can move on in a better direction.

[BavarianRetro]

I'm guessing from your posts that you're of an age where your wife may be menopausal?

 

Maybe a doctor could help her feel better?

[BorniteIdentity]

Unplug the landline if you don’t ever use it - I haven’t had one for years now despite having “a line”

I unplugged ours 3 months ago when stripping and sanding the floor. I've never plugged it back in, and the wife didn't protest. The only people who would ever call on it are

 

1) Mother and Father in Law. We now call each other mobile-mobile. IKR - revolutionary!

2) The wife's friend. She would call it when she didn't get an answer on the wife's mobile (ie stalking or being impatient)

 

It's been a revelation. Absolute game changer. Such a simple change but brilliant.

[SierraMikeHotel]

My mum is generally the only person who calls the landline, but a few months ago I had to call her back from my mobile because the battery in the (cordless) landline was about to go.

 

She's been calling my mobile ever since. I wonder if she realises that the cordless landline phone is rechargeable...?

 

She is one of these people who wilfully refuses to engage with the modern world. I tried to give her a cordless phone a while back do that sure could chat in comfort rather than sitting on the stairs in the draughty hall, but she wouldn't use it "because it has too many lights on it."

[Bobthebeard]

So your employer was looking for somebody who would always take the fall and not bring up shoddy workplace practices?

 

Sounds like a gr8* work environment.

Re my earlier post regarding the 'you are late for the interview'

Lol... Not exactly.

It was simply to see how I reacted to a blatent bit of twattery. An angry response as some have suggested wouldn't have gone down well pre interview. There was much worse twattery involved from customers in the ensuing job. He was a wise manager tbh. Also a very caring and thoughtful one.

[Cavcraft]

Sort of hard to know what you’re moaning about, tbh. I’ve just been knocked back from the Scrabble Club because I didn’t have I D.

[Supernaut]

My mum is generally the only person who calls the landline, but a few months ago I had to call her back from my mobile because the battery in the (cordless) landline was about to go.

 

She's been calling my mobile ever since. I wonder if she realises that the cordless landline phone is rechargeable...?

 

She is one of these people who wilfully refuses to engage with the modern world. I tried to give her a cordless phone a while back do that sure could chat in comfort rather than sitting on the stairs in the draughty hall, but she wouldn't use it "because it has too many lights on it."

My parents are the polar opposite. Both just beyond 70 now, and I remember sometime last year going to visit and my dad proudly showed me the smart TV he'd just bought and installed on a fancy wall bracket. They're constantly asking about what laptops to get etc. etc.

My dad was also the first person in the family to get a tablet when mum bought him a Hudl for Christmas a couple of years back.