Jump to content
outlaw118

What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

Recommended Posts

Oh and here's a reason to smile. Getting paid to take shots like this!

 

Darn, I think she's spotted me...

Posted Image

 

And managing to pull off shots like this makes me smile too.

Posted Image

 

Yes, it's Goodwood Revival next month! Before you all start going on about what a jolly time I must have, I should point out that it's very hard work, and last year was a scorcher, despite which I was wearing a suit for the full two days to look the part!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Watching V festival on tele whist Fat boy slim is doing his set live and laughing at the girl dancing on the bloke's shoulders with her right tit that's fallen out her dress and the cameraman that keeps zooming in on it!.I'm going tomorrow so I'lll have to make sure my moobs don't fall out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm with Dollywobbler here. I've been enjoying my photography of late and landing the odd press pass has been great.

 

This photo is a bit crap.

 

Posted Image

 

But taking it while hiding behind a tree in the midfield of Presscott Hillclimb in case a car "falls off" the track was cool. This kind of thing thundering past me about 10 feet away just made me giggle like a schoolboy (hence the occasional rubbish photo)

 

Also If I can attempt to make a few of you throw up, our recent holiday was fab but the best bit was watching four year old ickle_seth experience all kinds of things for the first time and be enthralled by the big wide world around her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was once a little boy who loved tractors.His parents bought him as many toy ones as possible..Meccano ,Britain et al.His father decided that as a treat he d take the boy to the Royal Agricultural Show so that the boy could see tractors in real life.They got to the John Deere display and the father got talking to the salesman about his little boys love for tractors."Well' said the salesman.." maybe you should come out to my farm and the boy can have a ride of one of my new tractors.They made a date and eventually father and son went out to the farm.The boy and salesman went driving off down the track..but unfortunately the salesman lost control of the tractor..crashed down an embankment..killing him and putting the little boy into a coma.After 15 years in a coma suddenly the now grown boy came back to life and all was well..it was a miracle.One night he went down to the pub.The room was filled with smoke which irritated him so with one great suck..he inhaled all the smoke in the pub..and then went out into the car park and exhaled the toxic plume.The barman ran out after him and exclaimed..How the fuck did u do that?No problem..the young man exclaimed...Im an extractor fan.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My local friendly motor factors is opposite a slightly pretentious "exclusive" food market. I park in the food market to go to the spares place so am there quite a bit. The car park itself is the usual liberal middle class jumble of new Minis and X5s, the only car in the place that is between the lines of its space and reversed in is mine....you get the idea. Anyway the people who shop there read the guardian, go skiing or on cultural excursions and avoid the NHS. They are naive enough to pay vast amounts for produce that cn be obtained in the local corner shop. They generally have a large brood of sticky fingered children dressed in ethical clothes (fairtrade cotton stitched by a happy child in a fairtrade sweatshop). These children are called things like Daisy, Archie and Sweet-Pea.I was there once and one fell over for no reason at all, bursting into tears soon afterwards. I laughed so loud I could be hear outside my car, and got an evil look from the child's mother.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People falling over, especially kidz is near;y always funny.Stepsons-girlfriends-sprogs were babysat by myself and Mrs outlaw yesterday and I had to snigger when the 3 year old, whilst wearing my size 10 rigger boots took a tumble.Does that make me a bad person?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Creating smells covertly at work then asking someone for some assistance-purile yet ultimately rewarding watching someone's nostrils flare seconds before they turn pail and wretch.Kids falling over-agree, I saw a kid fall off his bike the other night and I had a chuckle, he got straight back up and didn't bat an eyelid.Seeing people drive into/over things they shouldn't like bollards-so very funny.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In the winter of 1991 i was working as a dishwasher in a exclusive wealthy jazz beer garden in Munich.The millionaire boss collected the newest and best of everything when it came to cars..he d just got the latest 500SL Merc and a delivery new Ferrari 348TB.

One midnight..i was last in the kitchen.. i cut the top of my finger practically off so Boss had to take me to hospital.We bound my bloody mitt up..he produced an old doctors coat which i though was wierd..and i asked which car he had..the Ferrari..oh yeah i thought..never been in one of them.So we went outside..jumped in the little red bull...and as i went to put the safety belt on..he said..u dont need that.All i remember next was..he shifted up to at least 3rd..and instead of rocketing down the road..the rear end went out..we spun into a massive gravel car park..we 360'd at least twice and then went straight head on into a appropriately planted tree.

 

I heard all the water pouring out of the front and i insisted he didnt move it..but he equally insisted that i get back in as it wasnt a good look having his 250000Dm toy looking all forlorn.A bracket had jammed the front wheel..so he had to rev the shit out of it to make it move...which then produced a massive plume of smoke from underneath the rear lid..so i assumed he blew the motor.

 

I was fired and biergarten verboten...which ended my relationship with his Irish au pair!

 

He got himself kicked out of the Ferrari Club for his idiocy.I laughed for weeks.

Posted Image

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was once a little boy who loved tractors.His parents bought him as many toy ones as possible..Meccano ,Britain et al.His father decided that as a treat he d take the boy to the Royal Agricultural Show so that the boy could see tractors in real life.They got to the John Deere display and the father got talking to the salesman about his little boys love for tractors."Well' said the salesman.." maybe you should come out to my farm and the boy can have a ride of one of my new tractors.They made a date and eventually father and son went out to the farm.The boy and salesman went driving off down the track..but unfortunately the salesman lost control of the tractor..crashed down an embankment..killing him and putting the little boy into a coma.After 15 years in a coma suddenly the now grown boy came back to life and all was well..it was a miracle.One night he went down to the pub.The room was filled with smoke which irritated him so with one great suck..he inhaled all the smoke in the pub..and then went out into the car park and exhaled the toxic plume.The barman ran out after him and exclaimed..How the fuck did u do that?No problem..the young man exclaimed...Im an extractor fan.

Hey that's way too long winded! The version I know is:Q: What did one extractor fan say to the other?A: Why don't we like tractors any more?LOLBAGS.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Handing in my last bit of uni coursework, so I am no longer a student. However having worked out my average grade, I knew that whether I got 0 or 100 for this bit it would make no difference to the final mark. So my last ever bit of written work was a page and a half knocked out in 30 minutes. Ah well, nothing to worry about now until I leave in NovemberWell, nothing to worry about but working 6 days a week, finding somewhere to live until then, sorting the cars out, saving as much as possible, repaying debts, storing my stuff............

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Kyle

What makes me laugh?Seeing FredTransit on How Clean Is Your House today, made me ROFLMFAO for ages! :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Kyle

I can only think of one Fred that collects Mk2 Transit lutons.It was priceless, especially Kim on her hands and knees scrubbing a wooden floor next to a twin wheel Transit rim sat on the floor.... :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How Clean Is Your House?Monday 24 August 4:00pm - 4:35pm More4Series looking for the filthiest homes in desperate need of cleaning. Kim and Aggie visit husband and wife Gary and Fred, who claim they haven't lifted a finger in the 13 years they have lived in their West London home. As long distance lorry drivers, they spend months on end away from home and, as a result, their living conditions are less than perfect. :shock::D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...