The grumpy thread

September 16, 2017

It's snapped right on it's sharpest curve so I doubt a soldered joint would last long. Tbh at 113k (almost) it's the sort of thing I expect to start failing so I don't mind replacing them.

3,470 · September 16, 2017

Fugginell, selling a car in the middle east. Advertised the Armada at 29,000 AED, instantly get 5 "last price" texts and more offers of 13-15k, along with sob stories about not being able to afford any more because only a security guard / nurse / whatever. Well go and find a fucking cheaper car then, thats not my fucking problem.

I'll just stick it back down in the garage and forget about it I think. Can't be arsed with them.

6,984 · September 16, 2017

I was in an eatery recently and they served chips in a MINIATURE SUPERMARKET TROLLEY !!! FFS !!!

Wewantplates.com

15,584 · September 16, 2017

Due to this mornings outage, I fitted my new heated grips & the throttle cable snapped while I was at it.

Meh, so that's me in the car next week while I order the part.

Hairy string?

5,965 · September 16, 2017

Mrs Crunella Fidge was a lovely old woman. She was getting on but in her opinion an excellent driver.

Her old car was getting on too so one day in 1985 she popped into her local Rover dealers to see what they had to offer.

She was taken with an old favourite, the Mini.

The salesman was tremendous! Very shiny suit and shoes. He recommended the base model. Nothing too fancy but enough for Mrs Fidge's needs. Red! It had to be red. It was the colour of her last car and always reminded her of her father's cars.

The anticipation of its arrival was overwhelming but a few weeks later it was here! Mrs Fidge loved that car more than any other and treated it to anything and everything, they were inseparable.

They stayed this way for a long time until Mrs Fidge became just a little too frail to drive. She parked it in the garage and promised her grandson that when he'd learned to drive it would be his.

Unfortunately when the time came he didn't want it and it stayed in the garage for many years until one day...

What the fucking fuck? Stupid hipster wankers got their hands on it!

September 16, 2017

Fucking hipsters, they need a kick in the head for that one.

In fact they need kicking in the head until they stop moving & then kicking until they move again.

September 16, 2017

Universal cable and a soldering iron?

Never had any luck with them, I end up melting the new end & having to buy a real cable anyway.

16,454 · September 16, 2017

Mrs Crunella Fidge was a lovely old woman. She was getting on but in her opinion an excellent driver.
Her old car was getting on a bit so one day in 1985 she popped into her local Rover dealers to see what they had to offer.
She was taken with an old favourite, the Mini.
The salesman was tremendous! Very shiny suit and shoes. He recommended the base model. Nothing too fancy but enough for Mrs Fidge's needs. Red! It had to be red. It was the colour of her last car and always reminded her of her carters cars.
The anticipation of its arrival was overwhelming but a few weeks later it arrived! Mrs Fidge loved that car more than any other and treated it to anything and everything, they were inseparable.
They stayed this way for a long time until Mrs Fidge became just a little too frail to drive. She parked it in the garage and promised her grandson that when he'd learned to drive it would be his.
Unfortunately when the time came he didn't want it and it stayed in the garage for many years until one day...
20170916_155552.jpg
20170916_160418.jpg
What the fucking fuck? Stupid hipster wankers got their hands on it!

Twats, any idiot knows they need a K series so it will cook itself (dons hard hat and awaits abuse)

6,728 · September 16, 2017

I was in an eatery recently and they served chips in a MINIATURE SUPERMARKET TROLLEY !!! FFS !!!

Wewantplates.com

Much as I'd like plates what offends me most of all about getting my chips in a miniature supermarket trolley is that the trolley's not FULL SIZE and FULL OF CHIPS.

27,997 · September 16, 2017

It was personal in that they knew my mobile number and first name. Either Paypal or somebody working there appears to have forwarded my details.

Sorry - badly worded. I meant "it's not coincidence, because it's a personal message"

44,531 · September 16, 2017

3 hours for an ambulance, o rly? The UK has a lot of problems and clearly Bulgaria is beautiful and the cost of living is cheap but it's not for everyone. How many of us can work online or afford to not work?

A friend saw an elderly chap fall over in Llandudno at the weekend. It took 2.5hrs for an ambulance to arrive, despite the fact that this man was pretty badly hurt. Not the first time I've heard of this either.

12,265 · September 16, 2017

Be easier to call a taxi if they were mobile enough and not bleeding everywhere.

27,997 · September 16, 2017

Daughter has a boyfriend.

He's a proper know-it-all motormouth. Knows everything, has done it all faster/longer/quicker. Spouts rubbish about things he could quite easily just STFU about - like the stuff I do at work, talking crap and knowing nothing.

For example, I had a load of documents about the iPhone launch, knew just the basic level of info I knew to do my job. He comes in and starts telling me "facts" and "dates". 100% utterly wrong, as it happens, but then it'll be their fault for changing things at the last minute.

He's really starting to fuck me off. He's one of those where everything is "classed" too.

"Oh yes, an Audi is classed as one of the top three cars". "Converse trainers are classed as the best available" CLASSED AS? WTF does that mean?

I've got the Astronaut program on TV and like fucking clockwork, he knows the details of every bit of NASA training.

14,782 · September 16, 2017

You can't sit on that forever.

You are going to either make him look stupid in front of everyone or if that is too much trouble a simple STFU might do.

3,832 · September 16, 2017

And if that fails, send him the requisite number of Argos catalogues.

4,737 · September 16, 2017

Mrs Crunella Fidge was a lovely old woman. She was getting on but in her opinion an excellent driver.
Her old car was getting on too so one day in 1985 she popped into her local Rover dealers to see what they had to offer.

She was taken with an old favourite, the Mini.
The salesman was tremendous! Very shiny suit and shoes. He recommended the base model. Nothing too fancy but enough for Mrs Fidge's needs. Red! It had to be red. It was the colour of her last car and always reminded her of her father's cars.

The anticipation of its arrival was overwhelming but a few weeks later it arrived! Mrs Fidge loved that car more than any other and treated it to anything and everything, they were inseparable.

They stayed this way for a long time until Mrs Fidge became just a little too frail to drive. She parked it in the garage and promised her grandson that when he'd learned to drive it would be his.

Unfortunately when the time came he didn't want it and it stayed in the garage for many years until one day...

20170916_155552.jpg

20170916_160418.jpg

What the fucking fuck? Stupid hipster wankers got their hands on it!

One of the best uses for a Mini that I've ever seen.

3,570 · September 17, 2017

I used to work with a bloke like that. I was moaning about him to my Dad one day (I still lived at home then) and he said they had a bloke like that who they used to call "Elevenerife", because if you'd been to Tenerife, he'd done one better.

But after a couple of weeks someone at work started calling the guy 5 skin, and that stuck the whole time he worked there (if you had a foreskin, he had a 5 skin).

We used to work with a bloke who had done more better faster bigger longer louder than anyone else.

One of the Geordies, who always had the right saying to hand, named him Six Shits (cos if you had the trots and had five shits he'd have had them worse), the name stuck.

He eventually sodded off and another even cleverer bugger turned up, he got the moniker Eight Shits by the end of the second week.

40,653 · September 17, 2017

Fugginell, selling a car in the middle east. Advertised the Armada at 29,000 AED, instantly get 5 "last price" texts and more offers of 13-15k, along with sob stories about not being able to afford any more because only a security guard / nurse / whatever. Well go and find a fucking cheaper car then, thats not my fucking problem.

I'll just stick it back down in the garage and forget about it I think. Can't be arsed with them.

Can't stand sob stories like that. I've heard them all when I've sold cars, I can see them coming. I couldn't give a fuck about their personal circumstances, were selling a car not collecting for the Red Cross.

25,806 · September 17, 2017

Daughter has a boyfriend...

Chris, you're the father-figure: he's trying to impress you and/or look good in front of her. Clearly, he will fail in both endeavours!

Anyway, she's what? - 17? He'll be replaced soon enough...

26,931 · September 17, 2017

17? Is he a drinker? Get some fucking strong homebrew that you can handle going and make him drink it all by reverse factioneering. "I heard the other day that if you drink 9 pints you go the other side of drunk"... "nah m8, it's 12 that is". "tell yiu what, ive got some beers, let's try it".

He'll be on the floor after 5,you can accidentally kick him and just spend the afternoon drunk, then play some mega death when he wakes up with a headache

27,997 · September 17, 2017

Yeah apparently he sinks 12 pints and is still upright.

Odd then, that he can't match Mrs_Pillock like for like on the rum... Just goes quiet and goes to bed.

11,605 · September 17, 2017

Typical bragging kid. Hopefully she'll tire of him before too long.

24,012 · September 17, 2017

A friend saw an elderly chap fall over in Llandudno at the weekend. It took 2.5hrs for an ambulance to arrive, despite the fact that this man was pretty badly hurt. Not the first time I've heard of this either.

Llandudno is full of the elderly - the great orme has thousands of memorial benches to those that died on the climb. I'm trying to think where the nearest big hospital is. Probably Glan Clwyd in st Asaph which should only be 30minutes away in a 2cv never mind an ambwlans.

20,806 · September 17, 2017

Llandudno is full of the elderly - the great orme has thousands of memorial benches to those that died on the climb. I'm trying to think where the nearest big hospital is. Probably Glan Clwyd in st Asaph which should only be 30minutes away in a 2cv never mind an ambwlans.

Whole lot is on its arse - in fact it's so bad where I live NHS is paying for taxis to take people to hospital because it's cheaper than an ambulance.

Not going to get political but we had an election in June and the same cunts are still in power - you get what you deserve.

18,101 · September 17, 2017

Make him your best mate, sing his praises in from of your daughter as often as possible. She will get so bored that he will be gone in a week.

130,988 · September 17, 2017

Daughter has a boyfriend.
He's a proper know-it-all motormouth. Knows everything, has done it all faster/longer/quicker. Spouts rubbish about things he could quite easily just STFU about - like the stuff I do at work, talking crap and knowing nothing.
For example, I had a load of documents about the iPhone launch, knew just the basic level of info I knew to do my job. He comes in and starts telling me "facts" and "dates". 100% utterly wrong, as it happens, but then it'll be their fault for changing things at the last minute.

He's really starting to fuck me off. He's one of those where everything is "classed" too.
"Oh yes, an Audi is classed as one of the top three cars". "Converse trainers are classed as the best available" CLASSED AS? WTF does that mean?

I've got the Astronaut program on TV and like fucking clockwork, he knows the details of every bit of NASA training.

Do you want to borrow a car?

24,461 · September 17, 2017

Used to work with a guy like him - ended up calling him cats and he never knew why .

If you said you had a black cat then his would be blacker !

6,728 · September 17, 2017

^^^ You live in the Home Counties!

The NHS is excellent, but in some areas they are stretched to beyond belief.

44,531 · September 18, 2017

In Wales, it's an absolute disgrace.

7,119 · September 18, 2017

Chronic underfunding.

Working in Wales, ambulance service seems stretched further than in England, but the in-hospital care is better.

Sadly the drive for efficiency is turning people's lives into faceless numbers.

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