The grumpy thread

[Talbot]

The 1990's were about the years Merc's reliability and build quality plummeted quicker than a greased anvil lobbed off Beachy Head.

So an early imported W210 is not the *most* sensible purrrchase then...

 

hmmm.

 

Wanna buy a Merc?

[chaseracer]

+ + +  SITREP  + + +  1201HRS ZULU  + + +  BLINGO LATEST  + + +

 

Took it to Tame Mechanic this morning.  Wouldn't let me drive it away.  Could be water pump, though no coolant loss so not likely.  More possibly a pulley, so the timing cover's coming off later.  

 

Optimism pill: three-quarters of the way to the next cambelt change anyway...

 

[Guest Hooli]

Puncture. Bugger, and indeed, damn! Went out to the KIA of much indiference to wander up to the shop and the back tyre is as flat as a witches tit. Good job I always wander round the cars before I get in or I'd have missed that and ruined a tyre. Had to take the Mazda instead which is not really a hardship apart from the fact I (currently) have to roll out on to the floor to exit yon heap which is no fun when:

A, it's raining.

B, when the dogs are in the car 'cos Chester jumps all over me the fat sod!

 

I wonder how long it'll be before I bother to get it fixed?

 

Welcome back, not seen you post for yonks.

[wuvvum]

I think I've just been nabbed by a scamera van. Pissflaps.

[Eddie Honda]

Puncture. Bugger, and indeed, damn! Went out to the KIA of much indiference to wander up to the shop and the back tyre is as flat as a witches tit.

You are Alan Lake AICMFP.

 

https://youtu.be/12zNUvgYrRQ?t=2m25s

[puddlethumper]

Streetshite got coated in a shitty film of crap this afternoon following cricket-wrecking torrential downpours in Notts.

 

The rain seemed to lift up all the loose mud and sand which lies around in the filthy, pot-holed, dark and creepy car park I dump the car in for work each afternoon (off Alfreton Road anyone who knows it - essentially a demolition site masquerading as a car park) and flung it at the exterior surfaces and windows of any vehicle belonging to the poor saps who parted with £2.40 for a day's quality* parking.

 

No amount of screenwash or frantic scrubbing of the windscreen rendered anything more than 5% visibility. Reminded me of the old days when there were no heater blowers in cars and you drove along with a 10p size worth of ice-free windscreen which you stuck your face to and relied upon for all round vision.

 

Essentially most of my drive home was like this:

 

.

Got to be a dog thread calendar shot that! Cool mutt !

[Parky]

Dude, hope you got your head on straight....... and it went well enough. Keep us posted.

 

As an aside - how old are the kids then? My treasure* (actually he really is at the moment) is already being shown the workload he has to undertake to earn his weekly allowance etc... and is helping with meal prep to a certain extent. If the kids are (I started at 5) old enough then can't they learn the age old lesson of - you're hungry - get off your butt and help get it (or other things done to leave you free) sorted then? Of course if they're toddlers then you can just tell me to FRO!

If teenagers - a decent horsewhip or liquid suspended over precious electronics would also act as incentive

 

Best of luck on the job front

Well on the whole it went pretty well. Feedback was good from the team, including the 19 year old receptionist who referred to me as that "nice polite gentleman" when she was asked about me. General summary is guy in UK wants me on board, but need to get feedback from the HR lady in the US - who I got on well with too so am quietly optimistic I am in line for a second go.

 

Feel much better now, needed a little boost and today has provided that.

 

As for my kids, my Daughter is 16 and has autism, a result of which is she fails to perceive danger. So if she cooked something, chances are the hob would be left on. Son on the other hand is just a lazy bastard but tonight he discovers he has no pizza as he hadn't emptied the dishwasher as I asked him to....

[Pillock]

I think I've just been nabbed by a scamera van. Pissflaps.

 

Don't worry about it until the letter arrives. Remember they set their threshold higher than the limit by 10% or so, and your speedo almost definitely reads fast too - they always do. I've been "borderline" a few times and never got a letter.

 

I once went to the next village, noticed the camera van as I passed it at 42mph or so. Dunno where I was looking as this thing was visible from 1/4 mile away, pointing in the direction I was driving. Gave myself a right mental kicking for not spotting that.

On the way back it was still there.... parked in the 30mph zone but only by a couple of feet, with the "target zone" for pictures well into a 40. Never knew that bit of road was 40 not 30. Well relieved! 

[Guest Hooli]

I went past one when they had a clear view of me at 45+ in a 30 the other month. Nothing came of it.

 

For info some east european nutter was busy trying to run me off the road for daring to drive in the lane he wanted, so I was using a bit boooooooooost to keep the fucker behind me.

[DVee8]

So this morning this happened.

 

 

 

 

Mrs V8 had been out to a meeting called into the house to collect something on her way to her next meeting,parked the car in front of the house.

The young lass over the road heading into work, reverse off her drive straight into my big bright blue BMW that see hadn't seen.

Damaging the front bumper,nearside head light,pushing the inner wheel arch cover into the tyre and  damaging the alloy wheel.

 

It pushed her rear bumper up into her boot. She has a BMW 218 coupe 66plate.

I,at the time was looking out of the bedroom window and saw it all happen.

 

The lass was absolutely distort,shaking and sobbing,our lass went over and just gave her a hug.Both crying.

 

I rang our insurance and explained,within a hour a recovery truck was at mine to collect to take it to Coopers BMW in Sunderland,Enterprise had rang to organise our replacement car.

 

I now have a black 17plate  BMW 2.0d M-sport x drive  auto.

[beko1987]

Don't worry about it until the letter arrives. Remember they set their threshold higher than the limit by 10% or so, and your speedo almost definitely reads fast too - they always do. I've been "borderline" a few times and never got a letter.

 

I once went to the next village, noticed the camera van as I passed it at 42mph or so. Dunno where I was looking as this thing was visible from 1/4 mile away, pointing in the direction I was driving. Gave myself a right mental kicking for not spotting that.

On the way back it was still there.... parked in the 30mph zone but only by a couple of feet, with the "target zone" for pictures well into a 40. Never knew that bit of road was 40 not 30. Well relieved!

Whereas 2 different vans got me at 34 in a 30 on 2 consecutive days in different counties (same plod force though) .

 

And yes, it fucking sucked! Plus side, I popped into British heart foundation during the lunch break on the course for the first offense and found a lovely vacuum cleaner... Then 3 points/£100 for the second offense.

 

Be careful out there

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Remember me moaning about my bad day on Tuesday , with the Volvo failing its Council test and the Volvo Independant Specialist*** not fixing it?

 

Well today I just got it retested and it's passed!

 

Why the grump?

 

£561.00 , that's why the the fucking grump! All it needed was a new caliper , but because Specialist * said he'd tried 2 and it wouldn't reset they spent 4 hours looking for a problem that wasn't there. They only charged me for 2 hours though, because they obviously didn't want a grown man crying in the showroom.

 

On the plus side, I did get a complimentary tin of Volvo travel sweets! That's Mrs N's Christmas taken care of.

[richardmorris]

How do you calibrate a brake caliper? All mine are fit as is.

[twosmoke300]

Epb I'm guessing

[purplebargeken]

Just feel myself getting more irritable and wound up generally. 

 

Work is shit, neighbours are shit, my back hurts, where I live is shit and I can't even sell any bloody cars.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

How do you calibrate a brake caliper? All mine are fit as is.

Two words that never should be combined; Handbrake and Electric.

An idea so preposterous and of such pointless over-complexity, that both Paul Mages and Alec Issigonis are looking down from automotive heaven with horror but a just a tiny bit of jealousy.

[cort16]

I recently bulk bought a load of switches and sockets off screwfix so I could gradually replace all the sockets and switches in the house.

 

NO PROBLEM SO FAR. I as I was off today I'd change the light switch and sockets in the kitchen that look particularly shite after it was just re-tiled.

I took the old light switch out first and it fell to bits. Never a good sign.

 

I wired the new switch up and go to screw it into the wall.  Hold on though the screw holes on the old switch are in the middle of the fucking switch. Like right next to the button and not out on the edge like every other socket made in the world.  As a result there's no way to attach the new socket to the wall.

On further inspection the box bit in the wall is a circle and obviously left over from then the house had round bakelite switches.

 

I go to the local electrical factors to try to find one of these oddball switches who inspire confidence by not saying "oh aye I remember those they stopped making them years ago" but instead said "no mate never seen on of those in my life".

 

I buy a square mounting box having resigned myself to the fact I'm going to have to chisel out a bigger squarer hole in the wall. I go home and start hacking away but can't get the old circular box out the wall. I finally realise that it isn't going to happen as it seems it's permanently connected to the trunking buried deep, deep in the wall.

WHY ME?

 

I hatched a plan and went down to my lockup and cut the new box in half so it was only a a couple of cm deep, cut a large hole in the back and a sliced out the top so it can go around the trunking. I then drilled holes in either side and tapped them out so I could screw the switch mounting screws in them.

I now drilled 2 holes into the brick and put raw plugs in them and put my mangled mounting box in with the back facing out. I screwed it into the raw plugs then screwed the switch into the two holes I tapped in the metal.

 

4 hours elapsed. Only about 20 left to do.

 

I fucking hate DIY

[DodgeRover]

Surface mount shallow boxes over the top. How old is the cabling though? Is it multi strand or solid? What type of insulation?

I know exactly what you mean though, I've seen installations like that.

[cort16]

It's solid with plastic insulation. I think the house was re-wired about 20 years ago and they just used the original boxes and trunking to avoid having to rip the walls to bits.

[beko1987]

Uh oh

 

 

Luckily he has a spare engine (which is probably much better...). He's just got the interior sorted too

[richardmorris]

Why is he dressed in drag?

[Cavcraft]

So people don't recognise him driving a Xantia?

[beko1987]

If I still owned the xantia tonight, I'd be crying and phoning the scrappy

 

 

Another engine is being found by cyanide_steve and fitted forthwith. Wonder what made a bid for freedom?

[dollywobbler]

Eesh. There was a spate of XUDTs putting rods through the block, but I thought that was cars built around 1998.

[beko1987]

Eesh. There was a spate of XUDTs putting rods through the block, but I thought that was cars built around 1998.

I think it's fettled history, and even me limping it off the main road when the cambelt slipped possibly played a part. All fully disclosed upon handover of course... Knowing Steve it'll be fixed by monday*

[scaryoldcortina]

If I still owned the xantia tonight, I'd be crying and phoning the scrappy

 

Screenshot_20170922-221607.png

 

Another engine is being found by cyanide_steve and fitted forthwith. Wonder what made a bid for freedom?

 

Looks like no4 conrod...

[hairnet]

I am now officially in my late 30s.

lucky bastard

[Split_Pin]

Non shite related and decidedly 'first world' is the fact that today on the first day of my family holiday in Gran Canaria, which by the way I have worked my c**t off to pay for, my brand new IPhone was stolen between 9am and 11am from the kitchen table of our apartment. We already had a safe, but when I realised that I had left my phone by the kettle, it had gone. My suspicion is that when we told the cleaner who was about to clean our apartment that there was no need as we had just arrived, they thought that we would not yet have had paid the deposit to use our safe. Funny thing was that we had been prompt with that matter but I had stupidly left my phone behind b accident. Nobody wants to know either, hotel, rep or insurance company.

 

What I don't understand is that at the time there was a brand new pair of Nike Air Max under the sofa right at the door which would have been a much easier thing to steal and sell on.

 

I'm not going to let it spoil my holiday though.

[cort16]

I had a look online last night and can't find any similiar switches. Is it possible the council had these commissioned when the refurbed the house so they could re-use the old trunking and boxes?

 

 

 

[oldcars]

Non shite related and decidedly 'first world' is the fact that today on the first day of my family holiday in Gran Canaria, which by the way I have worked my c**t off to pay for, my brand new IPhone was stolen between 9am and 11am from the kitchen table of our apartment. We already had a safe, but when I realised that I had left my phone by the kettle, it had gone. My suspicion is that when we told the cleaner who was about to clean our apartment that there was no need as we had just arrived, they thought that we would not yet have had paid the deposit to use our safe. Funny thing was that we had been prompt with that matter but I had stupidly left my phone behind b accident. Nobody wants to know either, hotel, rep or insurance company.

 

What I don't understand is that at the time there was a brand new pair of Nike Air Max under the sofa right at the door which would have been a much easier thing to steal and sell on.

 

I'm not going to let it spoil my holiday though.

Nightmare. Get the network to block the sim and handset if you can, save any £££ bills. What tour operator are you with?