The grumpy thread

[maxxo]

April can fuck off

first a very good friend of mine in the Citroen circles passes away

few days later I get made redundant from work

now I’ve got to drive down to Middlesbrough tomorrow to take my mother and our 21 year old cat who I basically grew up with to the vets to be put down

oh even better she won’t be able to go into the room

so I’ll have to hold my childhood pet as he gets put down, great

[Markeh]

4 hours ago, Rust Collector said:

 

So that's sorted then; to keep my cars safe I will now wear my keys like a cock ring each night, and run at any intruders whilst screaming and at full mast.

As the Qashqai is keyless, I simply hook the fob onto a Prince Albert.

[High Jetter]

12 minutes ago, maxxo said:

April can fuck off

That's tough, any luck on the job front yet? Hope you can get through tomorrow OK.

[matt79]

31 minutes ago, maxxo said:

April can fuck off

first a very good friend of mine in the Citroen circles passes away

few days later I get made redundant from work

now I’ve got to drive down to Middlesbrough tomorrow to take my mother and our 21 year old cat who I basically grew up with to the vets to be put down

oh even better she won’t be able to go into the room

so I’ll have to hold my childhood pet as he gets put down, great

It's a shit situation for sure, however being there with your pet will bring comfort to them as they will be with someone familiar, a familiar smell and sound for them as they 'go'. If you're a pet owner, it's one of the kindest acts you can do for them.

[motorpunk]

1 hour ago, Matty said:

I own nowt worth nicking. But if someone wants my keys that much that they break into the house where my wife and kids are sleeping then they can fucking have them. It's only a car after all.

That’s what we said today. It’s just metal. And rust. Mainly rust in my case. 😂

@maxxo - chin up mate. 👍🏼

[Matty]

6 hours ago, Datsuncog said:

Considering you have 22 cars listed on your signature, some of which presumably have more than one key, that's a terrifying mental image you're bringing to mind...

Yeah you definatly wouldn't want to meet @Rust Collector down a dark alley when he's feeling romantic 😄

[Dyslexic Viking]

1 minute ago, Matty said:

Yeah you definatly wouldn't want to meet @Rust Collector down a dark alley when he's feeling romantic 😄

Speaking from experience?

[Matty]

14 minutes ago, Dyslexic Viking said:

Speaking from experience?

Gentleman says nowt

[maxxo]

18 hours ago, matt79 said:

It's a shit situation for sure, however being there with your pet will bring comfort to them as they will be with someone familiar, a familiar smell and sound for them as they 'go'. If you're a pet owner, it's one of the kindest acts you can do for them.

It was horrible, really horrible

seeing that poor boy relaxing and passing away it’s broken me, but I’m relieved to know he’s at piece 

im really going to miss him, I loved that cat

 

[RoverFolkUs]

On 25/04/2024 at 20:17, Markeh said:

I can see it now in the dock...

"and why did you kill him?"

"He interrupted my wank"

"I was defending my only working Windows XP computer from getting nicked" 🤣

[scaryoldcortina]

20 hours ago, maxxo said:

now I’ve got to drive down to Middlesbrough tomorrow

I'm so sorry to hear this, it will get better I promise!

 

(My mother still lives in Middlesbrough too)

[sierraman]

Rimmer Brothers what a crock of shit they are. Ordered a pump, arrived and it won’t pump, stripping it down showed the base of the diaphragm spring wasn’t engaged with the lever which is driven off the jackshaft. Put it all back together properly but it’s all time wasted doing things properly that they should have in the first place. 

[Dyslexic Viking]

The worst winter I can remember was followed by the worst spring I can remember, I want nice weather and warmth now.

[andyberg]

30 minutes ago, Dyslexic Viking said:

The worst winter I can remember was followed by the worst spring I can remember, I want nice weather and warmth now.

Are you sure you are not in the UK??? 😂😂 We are wishing for the same thing, just for a change!

[Pieman]

Yesterday I drove to Redcar and back for work.  Left at 11am and got there in a little over three hours, only hold-up being roadworks on the A1M which I already knew about and the usual Friday traffic.

On the way back (I live in south Staffs)....

M18 down to one lane heading to the M1.
M1 50mph all the way with average cameras and down to one lane in at least one place.
Signs then display "A38 closed past Derby".
Decide to take the A42/M42 down to Tamworth and take the A5 across.
Get to J23A and nearly crash through the cones as that is closed with no prior warning, apart from one sign adjacent to said cones.
Continue on M1 which is again down to one lane.
Come off at J23 and take the A512 across through Shepshed to pick up the A42 there, behind two cars which brake for every slight bend all the way.
Get onto the M42 and start seeing signs warning of various bits of the A5 being closed as well.
Finally lose temper and start driving in flat-out wanker mode.
Get onto the A5 at Tamworth and find the bit I need isn't actually closed.
Sit at 40mph through yet more fucking roadworks.
Nearly get pushed out of the way by a car and a lorry both of whom don't want to do the 40mph speed limit.
Nearly get taken out by another lorry who thinks red lights on roundabouts don't apply to him.
Cane clutch pulling away from said roundabout in sheer anger.
Finally get home an hour after I should have done having taken longer than it did the other way in Friday daytime traffic.


Next time I go I'll spend the two days leading up to it watching Love Island for 48 hours straight so my brain rots and I die.

[UltraWomble]

Car Manufacturer Websites

FUCK OFF with all the wanky "pazaz" and telling me how wonderful it would be to buy one of your faux  4x4 things on PCP.

Where there is the odd car that isnt a wanky off roader - do they have plenty of photos of the inside / outside or the vehicle (especially the boot space?)

No they fucking dont.  Ended up googling for photos of one of Skoda's offerings because their all singing all dancing web page doesnt include one single photo of the boot. Fucksake - show some bloody photos of all 4 sides and the inside rather than some smiling mixed race family of lesbians driving over some sand dunes.

[myglaren]

I keep buying DVDs that I never get around to watching, some have been here a dozen years and more.
I bought three a couple of weeks ago, Angel Heart, Tomb Raider (Alicia Wikander) and The Girl On The Train (Emily Blunt).

My broadband was hopeless a couple of days ago so decided to watch Girl On A Train.
Wouldn't play in the laptop. Nor would either of the others. Clearly the drive is non-functional.
Tried them in one of the DVD players. Two worked, GOAT didn't. Didn't try the other DVD player as it is unwell, usually works for ten minutes the throws its hands in the air.
I was going to contact Music Magpie, from where I bought all three and many others too.
Tried them in another laptop. Worked fine, except GOAT. Then saw it is a BlueRay disk. Bugger!

[MorrisItalSLX]

21 hours ago, maxxo said:

It was horrible, really horrible

seeing that poor boy relaxing and passing away it’s broken me, but I’m relieved to know he’s at piece 

im really going to miss him, I loved that cat

 

I had to do the very same a couple of months ago with my cat, 20 years old and I’ve had him since I was 4.

It was awful and heartbreaking, but he was seriously unwell and it was the right thing to do. I was initially hesitant to be there when it happened, but I would have regretted not holding him in my arms when he went.

 

[BorniteIdentity]

On 26/04/2024 at 14:58, Metal Guru said:

“Collapse”. Call an ambulance and get taken to A&E. You might have to wait a while but not 8-12 weeks. At least you’ll see a doctor at some point. 

Not necessarily- it’s entirely possible to 

A. Have an ambulance despatched to your house and them not take you in. I even had the air ambulance called when I fell of my roof and, once I got up off the ground, never left my lounge. 

2. Be triaged at hospital, admitted and still not see a consultant. During Covid I had strange bruising in my legs - spent the night at Addenbrookes and got nursed and Matron’d etc but no doctor.

D. Be triaged and sent home. 

GPs are up to their eyes for myriad reason, but I’ve never once had or seen a three minute appointment. Moreover, I would rather they were running over capacity than under.

[Metal Guru]

38 minutes ago, BorniteIdentity said:

Not necessarily- it’s entirely possible to 

A. Have an ambulance despatched to your house and them not take you in. I even had the air ambulance called when I fell of my roof and, once I got up off the ground, never left my lounge. 

2. Be triaged at hospital, admitted and still not see a consultant. During Covid I had strange bruising in my legs - spent the night at Addenbrookes and got nursed and Matron’d etc but no doctor.

D. Be triaged and sent home. 

GPs are up to their eyes for myriad reason, but I’ve never once had or seen a three minute appointment. Moreover, I would rather they were running over capacity than under.

It was just a suggestion if you were really desperate. We used to have an out of hours GP at our local hospital. It was very efficient, but maybe it got over used by people by passing their own GP.
Pre-Covid our GP waiting room was full with appointments every 10 minutes. Maybe 20 people waiting to see about 8 doctors. 
During and since Covid, you are waiting on your own . They’ve lost some doctors or some have gone part time , so they now have about 5-6 full time , but they can’t be seeing more than 2 an hour. I think it’s about 6 weeks to get an appointment without playing phone roulette at 8am.

[sierraman]

3 hours ago, UltraWomble said:

Car Manufacturer Websites

FUCK OFF with all the wanky "pazaz" and telling me how wonderful it would be to buy one of your faux  4x4 things on PCP.

Where there is the odd car that isnt a wanky off roader - do they have plenty of photos of the inside / outside or the vehicle (especially the boot space?)

No they fucking dont.  Ended up googling for photos of one of Skoda's offerings because their all singing all dancing web page doesnt include one single photo of the boot. Fucksake - show some bloody photos of all 4 sides and the inside rather than some smiling mixed race family of lesbians driving over some sand dunes.

I miss having a good old brochure. A few technical bits, a page showing all the specs, a few options at the back and some figures. Why did they change it? I don’t want to hear all this aspirational bullshit and loads of photoshopped pictures of it, I want to see the base one sat outside an office block in Milton Keynes, then the top spec one perhaps with a background of a fountain at a National Trust property. 

[DavieW]

7 hours ago, UltraWomble said:

Car Manufacturer Websites

FUCK OFF with all the wanky "pazaz" and telling me how wonderful it would be to buy one of your faux  4x4 things on PCP.

Where there is the odd car that isnt a wanky off roader - do they have plenty of photos of the inside / outside or the vehicle (especially the boot space?)

No they fucking dont.  Ended up googling for photos of one of Skoda's offerings because their all singing all dancing web page doesnt include one single photo of the boot. Fucksake - show some bloody photos of all 4 sides and the inside rather than some smiling mixed race family of lesbians driving over some sand dunes.

They're frightened to tell you the car that is 1/2 again as big and weighs twice as much is actually smaller inside than their predecessors.

[andy18s]

7 hours ago, UltraWomble said:

Car Manufacturer Websites

FUCK OFF with all the wanky "pazaz" and telling me how wonderful it would be to buy one of your faux  4x4 things on PCP.

Where there is the odd car that isnt a wanky off roader - do they have plenty of photos of the inside / outside or the vehicle (especially the boot space?)

No they fucking dont.  Ended up googling for photos of one of Skoda's offerings because their all singing all dancing web page doesnt include one single photo of the boot. Fucksake - show some bloody photos of all 4 sides and the inside rather than some smiling mixed race family of lesbians driving over some sand dunes.

Our car ads basically show a horse jumping some sort of Renault, and a funky stereo on a Dacias' dashboard,while stuck in traffic...

Edit; And if it's targeted advertising then they're not very good..

[angle]

On 15/04/2024 at 18:53, angle said:

I moved a mile or so up the road recently, and I'm amazed at how difficult various organisations find the concept of 'I am moving house and I would like to keep paying you money'. I spent a lunchbreak a few weeks before we moved filling out all the 'I'm moving house' forms on various websites. Results as follows:

Octopus / Bristol Water - moved me out of the house fine. The idea that I might need electricity / gas / water / sewage at the new place apparently didn't occur to them. Still, a 10 minute phone call and a new direct debit set up for each and sorted. 6/10.

Council tax - OK, bonus points for being the only organisation to work out that I still needed to pay them after I moved, they sent me all the paperwork with a new account number for the new address, the amount I was being charged, instructions for how to set up a new direct debit etc. Unfortunately they decided the sensible thing to do would be to send that to my old address, three weeks after I moved and six weeks after I told them I was moving. 'Its the address we have on file for you' - clearly its not is it, you useless bastards. Still, I paid for a mail redirect and sorted using the council tax payment portal that's run by Capita and took me right back to 2004. 5/10.

Virgin Media - the reason I'm posting this here but actually I'm not sure I have the ability to type it out in full without hurling my laptop across the room. No exaggeration, I must have spoken to 20 different people across phone / email / live chat, and I've spent at least a day doing it including one 4.5 hour phone call which ended with the guy going 'I'm really sorry, but I don't really know how to fix it, shall I just cancel your contract?' (I said yes, he didn't). Got to a stage six weeks after we moved where they said they could sort it but they needed to send out new equipment. Now apparently that needs to be signed for in person, they won't leave it with a neighbour or in my bin shed or whatever so I arranged to work from home today. Cue two emails within 15 minutes of each other this morning, one telling me it was being delivered by Yodel and the other by Royal Mail. Neither have a tracking number, neither have turned up. I phoned up (again), apparently the solution is to get an engineer round rather than use a competent courier service. The next available engineer appointment is next week.  FUCKYOU/10. 

So it turns out that even if you've got another six months on your contract, if you phone them up, tell them you want an upgrade (with a new 18 month contract) and then cancel it the day after it starts telling them you're in the 14 day cooling off period there's nothing they can do. Fuckety-bye you useless twats. 

[richardmorris]

9 minutes ago, angle said:

So it turns out that even if you've got another six months on your contract, if you phone them up, tell them you want an upgrade (with a new 18 month contract) and then cancel it the day after it starts telling them you're in the 14 day cooling off period there's nothing they can do. Fuckety-bye you useless twats. 

Our work phone bill still says department of chemistry despite moving twice since 1997.  no one seems able to correct it.

 

 

 

 

[cobblers]

Picked up a new pushbike on  wednesday, I was dead eager to get riding to work on it and go for a nice long ride this weekend.

Wednesday night I felt a bit under the weather. Been downhill ever since. turns out I've got fucking COVID. FFS!

I wouldn't have bothered getting tested but I noticed toothpaste tasted weird.... It did this the same the last couple of times I've had it.

 

 

[hairnet]

So goodier is gonna be doing oick of the pops on radio 2

So they have allinson now on instead on ghr thats ok

But then they said theyre gonna be doing an 80s thing like gary davies - with Martin kemp ffs on a saturday at the same time - big swerve there i think

Oh dear

edit yeah thanks barefoot  hes a bit old for oick/oik

 

[cort16]

I was giving our Leon a service (it's first in 5 years) and wanted to change the spark plugs. Access is shit as it's behind the intake manifold but managed to change 3 at the weekend but couldn't get to no 2 cylinder as there was no way to get in to get the lead off. I ordered some long pliers and popped down last night, got the lead off fine. With a wobbly socket I got the spark plug out okay and the new one in no problem.

I went to put the lead back on and it would not go on. It in a really hard to access bit so thought it maybe wasn't quite at the right angle.  took it out, put some WD40 in it but nope. Tapped it down with a bit of wood and a hammer, nope totally loose. Took out the airpump for more access but didn't make any difference. 45 minutes later  I decided to go and do something else and after 5 minutes it occurred to me to check the spark plug socket and yes the rubber boot in the socket had stayed on spark plug. The plug was so far hidden I couldn't see it. I managed to pop it off with a scewdriver and funnily enough the plug lead went on fine.  That's what I get get for buying cheap tools and no I didnt put it back in the spark plug socket so I could go through it all again in a few months. 

[barefoot]

46 minutes ago, hairnet said:

 oick of the pops 

😀

[Metal Guru]

Has anyone ever got a useful answer out of automated chat on a company’s website? What is the point? It is a complete waste of time . Whatever moron thought this up and even dimmer morons programming it?