What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[MorrisItalSLX]

I have just installed a smart thermostat! Now I can turn my heating on remotely with a text message!

 

 

I could watch that for hours!

[purplebargeken]

^^ rather that than Aha.

[Tamworthbay]

Thank fuck for modern, painless, Dentistry.

Really? How does that work? No injections or drills? Expensive? (I fucking hate dentists and haven’t been in years but probably should)

[omegod]

Have you ever had anyone from North America ask you send a Vauxhall grill over there to put on their Catera?

 

Genuine question, as I have heard of people over here considering putting a Cadillac grill on an Omega, and wonder whether it ever happens the other way round.

 

Not America as yet, guy from Holland wanted to "Vauxhallise" his Opel and got a full kit off me  

[The Moog]

Really? How does that work? No injections or drills? Expensive? (I fucking hate dentists and haven’t been in years but probably should)

Had root canal couple of weeks ago. Relatively painless, they used topical anaesthetic before even doing the injections.

 

Unlike my old dentist who used to leap out of darkened corners with a needle 10ft long then stabbing you in the face, before telling you to wait 10 mins in reception.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Rather a long grin, but I am on a week's holiday this week in a lovely, cosy and comfy cottage and it has just started to snow rather heavily.

 

This is pretty much the ideal week off for me, and today I'm feeling sentimental so I just wanted to share with you all how sentimental I get.

 

I am a frequent visitor to my local scrapyard - the owner knows me quite well by now and usually we have a good rap about life and our weeks at work and so on. With my regular visits to the yard I get to know the vehicles that are occupying the yard and I enjoy photographing and documenting them on the internet and finding out their past histories using the service history books which I usually end up buying (I have a huge plastic storage box of the things) - not something the average car enthusiast would buy but what the hell, I enjoy it.

Anyway, I digress....

...I usually make the pilgramage to the yard at the run up to Christmas for a final look around before we all close up for the year and go home to celebrate the festive season. I am a sentimental old fool and I love getting into the Christmas spirit, so by the last few days before the big day I am in total sentimental overdrive with the spirit of Christmas and the last visit at the yard is a visit that's full of excitement and sadness. Excitement about the Christmas feeling but sadness that the cars in the yard are all without owners and will be spending the festivities in a cold and lonely yard by themselves instead of being on someone's driveway or roadside covered in snow, or being driven to the garden centre or supermarket for some last-minute shopping or doing the Christmas card run. Cars with no doors or windows, engines and gearboxes missing - utterly vulnerable to the elements, I do believe that cars have feelings. Call me mad but I do think they must realise when they are out of use and not wanted any more.

So every year, I get overly attached to certain cars that end up in the yard and Christmas time exacerbates the sentimental feelings I have for them, when everyone is waking up on Christmas morning and opening presents and then sitting down for the feast of a dinner I will spare a thought or two about that poor little car sat in the yard and it not seeing the enjoyment of another Christmas any more because by the time the next one comes around it will be reduced into nothing more than baked bean tin sized pieces.

I have felt like this for a few years and so below is a list of the cars that I have wished were away from the jaws of the crusher at Christmas time.

2009 & 2010 - Austin Allegro 1.3L - KEX 62V - Registered February 1980, scrapped in 2007 (Off the road since 1990)

KEX 62V (2) by greengartside, on Flickr

 

2011 - Ford Fiesta XR2 - C325 HTW - Registered September 1985, scrapped in 2011 (Off the road since 2001)C325 HTW - Ford Fiesta XR2 - September 1985 by greengartside, on Flickr

2012 - Ford Focus 1.8 Zetec - X358 UUB - Registered January 2001, scrapped in 2012.X358 UUB - Ford Focus 1.8i Zetec - January 2001 by greengartside, on Flickr

2013 - Ford Sierra 2.0 GLS - K392 JVG - Registered March 1993, scrapped in 2013.K392 JVG - Ford Sierra Sapphire 2.0 GLSi - March 1993 by greengartside, on Flickr

2014 - Skoda Felicia 1.3 Popular - X717 ABU - Registered September 2000, scrapped in 2014.X717 ABU - Skoda Felicia 1.3i Popular - September 2000 by greengartside, on Flickr

2015 - Ford Ka 1.3i Luxury - X331 SDX - Registered December 2000, scrapped in 2015.Y331 SDX - Ford Ka 1.3 Luxury - April 2001 by greengartside, on Flickr

2016 - Vauxhall Zafira 2.0 DTi SRi - KW54 DGU - Registered January 2005, scrapped in 2016.KW54 DGU - Vauxhall Zafira 2.0 DTi SRi - January 2005 by greengartside, on Flickr

With the festive season rapidly approaching, I have already found the car that will be this year's sentimental overload for me.

 

This little Fiesta....AU52 WZS - Ford Fiesta 1.4 Ghia - September 2002 by greengartside, on Flickr

 

2017 - Ford Fiesta 1.4i Ghia - AU52 WZS - Registered September 2002, scrapped October 2017.

 

This lovely Metropolis Blue Ghia has just arrived into the yard and hasn't made it's way through to the back field as yet. The driver's rear door has already been taken off it and I have salvaged the front grille, along with some bulbs and other things. Supplied new by local Ford dealers, Busseys of Norwich, it has only covered just over 85,000 miles since it hit the road in September, 2002.

Sadly it is unclear as to why it has ended up in the yard, as the M.o.T was still valid when it arrived and the engine has low mileage for the year. I hope it wasn't a victim of the much-hated Scrappage Scheme but it looks very likely it was. Sad to think that this Fiesta could have been given a new lease of life by a new owner but this is all now very much academic.

So this Christmas I will be enjoying the festivities like everyone else, but I will be remembering and celebrating the life of this little machine and at least a few of it's parts will be living on - in my shed.

R.I.P Little guy.

 

I was waiting for the bit at the end:

 

Just £10 a month will end the suffering for these poor innocent creatures. Fill your direct debit details in here

[fordperv]

Not America as yet, guy from Holland wanted to "Vauxhallise" his Opel and got a full kit off me

Is that because all opels are shit in their culture?

[seth]

Did you end up in Lincolnshire?

 

I was picking up a lathe north of Boston so made a detour home via blizzard conditions near Louth.

[Vin]

Not America as yet, guy from Holland wanted to "Vauxhallise" his Opel and got a full kit off me  

 

 

I'm sure in the past, there was a poster on here from America doing that to a Catera. Somebody sent him all the bits and pieces...can't remember who though...

[Tamworthbay]

Had root canal couple of weeks ago. Relatively painless, they used topical anaesthetic before even doing the injections.

Unlike my old dentist who used to leap out of darkened corners with a needle 10ft long then stabbing you in the face, before telling you to wait 10 mins in reception.

I asked about codeine pads the last time I went, the dentist asked me if a really wanted them ffs, are you serious? Do I want pain or not? Did I come in here dressed in a vinyl gimpsuit with a pool ball in my gob? No, and reason is that I am not a bloody masochist. (Stereotype copyright of Pulp fiction). Sounds like they have at least moved on a bit from the last time I went.

[Sheefag]

I met young Beko of this parish today, smashing lad. His Missus is going to batter him when she sees what he's taken home though...!

[Parky]

He hasn't taken a load of your Argos catalogues has he?

[Sheefag]

Ha!

[Ghosty]

I'm sure in the past, there was a poster on here from America doing that to a Catera. Somebody sent him all the bits and pieces...can't remember who though...

 

I remember that, it could have been on the blue forum though?

Quite a while ago anyway.

[DodgeRover]

I met young Beko of this parish today, smashing lad. His Missus is going to batter him when she sees what he's taken home though...!

Blimey he was a long way from home (or you were)

 

Was it something vacuum related or Laguna?

[Sheefag]

I was up Maidenhead way today. It was a combination of vacuum cleaners and electronics. Enough to fill the boot and the back seat of the Laguna.

Should keep him busy for some considerable time.

That Laguna is an astonishing amount of tidy car for the money.

[vulgalour]

I'm still ill.  Have some more shorties.

 

 

 

[Crusty Sills]

I learned how to make these today courtesy of this thread: http://forum.retro-rides.org/thread/199071/honey-shrunk-car-66-toons

 

ShortyRialto.jpg

 

ShortyType3.jpg

 

Shorty1100.jpg

 

Great way to cheer myself up since I'm full of cold and the Princess' suspension has done what it does again.

I've just been looking at the pics on RR.

Making me smile, they look just like my Micro Machines.

[beko1987]

I was up Maidenhead way today. It was a combination of vacuum cleaners and electronics. Enough to fill the boot and the back seat of the Laguna.

Should keep him busy for some considerable time.

That Laguna is an astonishing amount of tidy car for the money.

Was great meeting you too Tony! Yes, I haven't told her yet... Need to work on that! She's working tomorrow night so will go through it all then, we certainly played the 'how much can a laguna hold' game, it's quietened the rear end clink down a bit too! More details in the techy corner thread!

 

 

 

So looking forward to this, I have the model down, the S5510! And the previous gen revolution so I'll have the set soon (must sell some though)

 

And this!

 

 

Which is a childhood blast as my aunt replaced her u2332 turbopower in Wedgewood green with one! Initially I was happy because I have a power drive one of these which needs the cyclone unit, but it looks too good to break so will chase up my sniff of another cyclone unit and have 2.

[Timewaster]

Vulg, I like the way you kept the telecom writing in proportion.

[Stanky]

Having submitted my self assessment tax return a couple of months back, I got a letter from HMRC today saying THEY would be paying ME £55.40 direct into my account within the week.

 

Cha-ching.

[FakeConcern]

Went to a garden centre today and most of the Christmas decoration stuff was really funny (makes me want to watch Christmas Vacation early!) but the best thing was this model "Victorian Village" complete with motor car!

 

 

[forddeliveryboy]

[eddyramrod]

I'm sure in the past, there was a poster on here from America doing that to a Catera. Somebody sent him all the bits and pieces...can't remember who though...

 

 

I remember that, it could have been on the blue forum though?

Quite a while ago anyway.

I remember that too!  It was a few years ago though, pretty sure I was still in Cyprus then.  The thread likely sank in the Great Disaster....

[chaseracer]

I am in my pre-Accrington hotel near Wakefield.  The kitchen staff have knocked off and they are chatting and smoking under my second-floor window, which is slightly open.

 

They are not smoking B&H...

 

[Jon]

Here's the link to the Vauxhillac Omera:

 

http://autoshite.com/topic/9373-my-new-cadillacvauxhall-shite/?p=359021

[angle]

I know people on here have been slagging off the new Cactus for losing the airbumps, but look - suspension!

 

https://www.autocar.co.uk/car-news/new-cars/uk-exclusive-new-citroen-suspension-set-‘reinvent’-comfort

[chodweaver]

I am in my pre-Accrington hotel near Wakefield. The kitchen staff have knocked off and they are chatting and smoking under my second-floor window, which is slightly open.

 

They are not smoking B&H...

 

They'll be back in the kitchen shortly then, raiding the fridges and the biscuit tin.

 

Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk

[JeeExEll]

I get email text alerts from job internet sites, got one this morning from a site called No Experience Necessary. Their latest job offering's to be a surgeon for a NHS Trust in Glossop.

[PhilA]

I asked about codeine pads the last time I went, the dentist asked me if a really wanted them ffs, are you serious? Do I want pain or not? Did I come in here dressed in a vinyl gimpsuit with a pool ball in my gob? No, and reason is that I am not a bloody masochist. (Stereotype copyright of Pulp fiction). Sounds like they have at least moved on a bit from the last time I went.

Funny thing, couple years back I went to the dentist here for routine check-up and gave the complaint that one of my lower molars would occasionally be a little sore. He poked a bit and discovered the tooth above had worn through the enamel on the lower one and it was beginning to work it's way down. Decision was made there to clean it up and fill it full of wob.

Out comes the stainless steel syringe with the big eye hoops that would look more at home on a turkey baster, and the large needle with a big kink in. He explains the best way to go about this will be to inject anaesthetic at the back of my mouth to numb the right side of my lower jaw.

(Since then I researched; this method is standard practice, called the Gow-Gates lower mandibular block and it works because there's a big nerve that comes up behind the jaw and splits off into 3 main branches. One goes up your cheek, the other to your top teeth, the other to the jaw and injecting there numbs the entire nerve making the side of your face numb).

 

So, in goes the needle and he squeezes the plunger in, sets everything down and tells me to sit back and he'll be back in fifteen minutes. I'm laying back and I can feel warmth running down my back, down my legs and it feels like I'm laying on a cloud.

 

Dentist comes back a while later, I'm staring at the speaker grille in the ceiling and he asks me if my jaw is numb. I tell him no, not really but he says we'll make a start of it. In goes the drill and I nearly jump out of the chair as the crashing electric feeling jolt of pain roots itself firmly into my tooth.

 

He decides at this point perhaps I wasn't telling him nonsense about the anesthesia having not taken hold. He puts the needle again carefully and squeezes the plunger. Again, the warm feeling down my back and down my legs. I tell him it feels warm. He agrees that it can, and buggers off again for a while.

 

Ten minutes of watching the trees outside and he returns. Asks if my jaw is numb. I whistle the first bar of Dixie at him. He looks slightly perplexed and decides on a third round of lidocaine. In goes the needle, expertly and again the sensation of floating on a warm cloud.. ten minutes pass and he returns, my jaw is still not numb.

 

At this point we are at the maximum injection allowance for the anaesthetic so he admits defeat. My wife leads me out, puts me in the passenger seat of the truck and goes back in to sort the paperwork out. When she comes out in told I was having a conversation with my reflection in the wing mirror. I don't recall much else from that day but, after doing a bunch of research it appears that in about 2.5% of the population, the main vein in the jaw decides to grow around the front of the nerves, rather than to the back, well out of the way.

 

What my dentist had done was find a vein and give me a rather concentrated three-course IV of lidocaine. Needless to say I was quite stoned and slept the rest of the day...

 

My dentist back home had heard of the oddity that is the veins going the wrong way and instead did the many-stabs approach on and around the tooth. That successfully had me pfhrobolblerrbrbbl and the filling went just fine...

 

I can smile about it now but I'll be honest. Anaesthetic almost directly to the heart isn't an inviting thought.

 

The main thing is I can grin about it BECOS I ARE NOT NORMAL.

 

Phil