Claim's Cabbies Corner. UPDATE! RACIST RUMBLINGS!

[Rod/b]

4 hours ago, warren t claim said:

The thing is that Labour have pledged to outlaw cross border hiring if they win the next election. This'll put 99% or drivers flying the Wolverhampton flag of convenience out of work.

On the other hand if you live in Wolverhampton you should never have to wait longer than 12 seconds for an Uber. 

[UltraWomble]

19 hours ago, warren t claim said:

The thing is that Labour have pledged to outlaw cross border hiring if they win the next election. This'll put 99% or drivers flying the Wolverhampton flag of convenience out of work.

After spotting that one I saw 2 more. 

In Preston. 

Whats the craic? 

[PicantoJon]

25 minutes ago, UltraWomble said:

After spotting that one I saw 2 more. 

In Preston. 

Whats the craic? 

They seem to be magnetically attracted to Lancashire. I remember when Uber was starting to get popular over here, it baffled the shit out of me seeing a Wolverhampton plated Prius parked on a shitty side street in Accrington. 

[bangernomics]

My old neighbour in Manchester was a part time uberer and his was Wolverhampton.


Gzongenflatch

[Jazoli]

The local taxi firm here in Kendal are advertising for Wolverhampton plated cabs, thought it was odd.

[angle]

22 hours ago, UltraWomble said:

After spotting that one I saw 2 more. 

In Preston. 

Whats the craic? 

Different councils can set their own requirements for getting a minicab licence, Wolverhampton's is something like 'are you conscious and can you bung us £300?'

Current law is that a minicab operator can get a job, sub-contract it to another out of area operator and they can fill it using their out of area driver.

So, Uber gets a job in Preston, 'sub-contracts' it to their Wolverhampton office, and 3 minutes later you get picked up by a 2013 Mondeo on Wolverhampton plates. 

You'll be amazed to hear that Uber set up offices wherever the licencing requirements are minimal - I've never seen a Wolverhampton plate in Bristol, but I reckon more than half the minicabs are on South Gloucestershire plates. 

[warren t claim]

One of those days.

I get sent a job to collect a punter from 17E R*** Lane to take them to the ferry terminal about a mile and a half away. I turn up as instructed and hit the callback to let them know I'm here. A few minutes pass and there's no sign of my passenger which would normally mean that I'd hit the no job button and fuck off to the next job on the screen but as this fare is going to the ferry terminal, and therefore the punter could have a boat to catch, I use the call customer feature to phone them. Phone rings but no answer so I bail.

Less than five minutes later I get despatched the same job back to me. In these circumstances, I'd normally phone the office and tell them to send another taxi as I'm reluctant to be let down twice by a passenger, but as this is a fare that may have to catch the Irish ferry I reluctantly agree to go back. 

I return to 17E R*** Lane to see my punter waiting for me. I must admit that at first glance she didn't look like either a holidaymaker or a business traveler. She was a lady of maybe 45 dressed in a top that was struggling to contain her tits, a leather miniskirt, fishnets and thigh high boots. 

She hops into the back of the Kia and without me asking tells me the reason for her journey. Apparently she's seeing a married truck driver who's parked at the ferry terminal and when she phoned him earlier she was sure that she could hear another woman's voice in the background meaning that she wanted to confront him!

During the trip she told me that she suffers from a medical condition that causes her to orgasm 50 times a day! I'm not sure if that means that she climaxes 50 times a day whether or not she's having sex so as you can imagine, I was a little worried that these climaxes were involuntary and she'll squirt on my back seat!

Five minutes later I drop her off at the GTS Transport Scania and she says that if I ever fancy a play then feel free to knock on her door anytime, day or night.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

A gesture like that restores your faith in fellow humans!!!

[warren t claim]

4 minutes ago, Mr_Bo11ox said:

A gesture like that restores your faith in fellow humans!!!

It really does restore your faith in humanity. After eight cans I may take her up on her kind offer.

[warren t claim]

7 minutes ago, warren t claim said:

It really does restore your faith in humanity. After eight cans I may take her up on her kind offer.

Done worse.

[sheffcortinacentre]

13 hours ago, warren t claim said:

One of those days.

I get sent a job to collect a punter from 17E R*** Lane to take them to the ferry terminal about a mile and a half away. I turn up as instructed and hit the callback to let them know I'm here. A few minutes pass and there's no sign of my passenger which would normally mean that I'd hit the no job button and fuck off to the next job on the screen but as this fare is going to the ferry terminal, and therefore the punter could have a boat to catch, I use the call customer feature to phone them. Phone rings but no answer so I bail.

Less than five minutes later I get despatched the same job back to me. In these circumstances, I'd normally phone the office and tell them to send another taxi as I'm reluctant to be let down twice by a passenger, but as this is a fare that may have to catch the Irish ferry I reluctantly agree to go back. 

I return to 17E R*** Lane to see my punter waiting for me. I must admit that at first glance she didn't look like either a holidaymaker or a business traveler. She was a lady of maybe 45 dressed in a top that was struggling to contain her tits, a leather miniskirt, fishnets and thigh high boots. 

She hops into the back of the Kia and without me asking tells me the reason for her journey. Apparently she's seeing a married truck driver who's parked at the ferry terminal and when she phoned him earlier she was sure that she could hear another woman's voice in the background meaning that she wanted to confront him!

During the trip she told me that she suffers from a medical condition that causes her to orgasm 50 times a day! I'm not sure if that means that she climaxes 50 times a day whether or not she's having sex so as you can imagine, I was a little worried that these climaxes were involuntary and she'll squirt on my back seat!

Five minutes later I drop her off at the GTS Transport Scania and she says that if I ever fancy a play then feel free to knock on her door anytime, day or night.

Sounds crazy/made-up, but there's a male version called hyperspermia 

[Matty]

35 minutes ago, sheffcortinacentre said:

Sounds crazy/made-up, but there's a male version called hyperspermia 

Don't want to know but kinda do in a morbid way. I'm assuming some sort of spunk tsunami 😵‍💫

[warren t claim]

2 hours ago, sheffcortinacentre said:

Sounds crazy/made-up, but there's a male version called hyperspermia 

 

[sheffcortinacentre]

2 hours ago, Matty said:

Don't want to know but kinda do in a morbid way. I'm assuming some sort of spunk tsunami 😵‍💫

Basically yes

[Dave_Q]

@warren t claim, do you/the industry think that banning cross-border hiring will really happen? Asking for a friend* who can't really be arsed paying an extra £2-300 and doing a practical driving test to get a local council badge.

Another question I had was on tax, do you know of many drivers operating as a limited company? I am a 40% taxpayer in my day job therefore would pay 40% on any profits if ubering for a 2nd job which I would like to avoid.

I have seen a couple of places online offering Ltd as a service, just wondered how common it is in practice and if you know of anyone who tried it and got HMRC reamed considering that the "business" is in effect 1 man working for 1 ridesharing app.

[angle]

AFAIK although the headline is 'Labour will ban cross border hiring' what they're actually talking about is setting up some national minimum licencing standards so that there's less point in doing it. 

[bangernomics]

[mention=3910]warren t claim[/mention], do you/the industry think that banning cross-border hiring will really happen? Asking for a friend* who can't really be arsed paying an extra £2-300 and doing a practical driving test to get a local council badge.
Another question I had was on tax, do you know of many drivers operating as a limited company? I am a 40% taxpayer in my day job therefore would pay 40% on any profits if ubering for a 2nd job which I would like to avoid.
I have seen a couple of places online offering Ltd as a service, just wondered how common it is in practice and if you know of anyone who tried it and got HMRC reamed considering that the "business" is in effect 1 man working for 1 ridesharing app.

My 2 bits as a Ltd IT type contractor. Tax man just wants his cut, keep the books and all expenses you incur like every fuel receipt you can find and any and every car service part and add as expenses. Any PSC hosts will do you for about £100 pm but that’s going to include your self assessment and vat etc annual returns. Or you can do it yourself have loads more admin.

Don’t pay yourself a salary as it’s tax death just take dividends depending on where you are up to or bang it all in a pension pot and earn nowt but have a better dotage?

Not sure if there’s a flat rate expense scheme for Joe Baxi types but Warren will no doubt enlighten you.


Gzongenflatch.
In memory of Phil.

[big_al_granvia]

On 06/05/2024 at 06:20, warren t claim said:

 

Less than five minutes later I get despatched the same job back to me. In these circumstances, I'd normally phone the office and tell them to send another taxi as I'm reluctant to be let down twice by a passenger, but as this is a fare that may have to catch the Irish ferry I reluctantly agree to go back. 

I return to 17E R*** Lane to see my punter waiting for me. I must admit that at first glance she didn't look like either a holidaymaker or a business traveler. She was a lady of maybe 45 dressed in a top that was struggling to contain her tits, a leather miniskirt, fishnets and thigh high boots. 

She hops into the back of the Kia and without me asking tells me the reason for her journey. Apparently she's seeing a married truck driver who's parked at the ferry terminal and when she phoned him earlier she was sure that she could hear another woman's voice in the background meaning that she wanted to confront him!

During the trip she told me that she suffers from a medical condition that causes her to orgasm 50 times a day! I'm not sure if that means that she climaxes 50 times a day whether or not she's having sex so as you can imagine, I was a little worried that these climaxes were involuntary and she'll squirt on my back seat!

Five minutes later I drop her off at the GTS Transport Scania and she says that if I ever fancy a play then feel free to knock on her door anytime, day or night.

So the question we all want answered is..have you been back and smashed her yet?? Okay it sounds like she has seen more helmets than a motorsport scruitineer  but she sounds like a right hoor

[warren t claim]

6 hours ago, big_al_granvia said:

So the question we all want answered is..have you been back and smashed her yet?? Okay it sounds like she has seen more helmets than a motorsport scruitineer  but she sounds like a right hoor

Although I'm certain that she's been smashed more often than a nonce's windows I've so far resisted the temptation to take her up on her kind offer. 

Trust me, if I was single I'd have nipped over to say hello by now. After all, I did enjoy a night of passion with Jan, the Birkenhead barmaid who was called Tenpole Tudor by us taxi drivers as she'd had the "Swords Of A Thousand Men".