So then, Chapter 1 - Front Brakes...
After 2 years as an MOT advisory I thought I'd treat the car to new pads and discs. After all, it's a job I've done plenty of times on other cars - how hard can it be?
Off I trot to Euro's for the parts, whip the old stuff off, push the piston back in, grease everything up and pop the new ones on. Success? No. Of course not. There's an intermittent rotational scrape coming from the driver's side and it seems to start after doing right turns on full lock.
Dust shields are getting bent into the disc by the full lock. Took it all apart again, removed the shield and went for a drive, no such luck.
Failed to clean the carriers up well enough and they're getting stuck on some rust. Took it apart for a second time, cleaned the grease off, attacked them with a wire wheel, re-greased, went for a drive, no such luck.
The 5+ year old ceratec grease I used was past its best, should I have stuck to copper slip? Took it apart for a third time, cleaned the grease off, replaced with copper slip, went for a drive, no such luck.
So here I am, appealing to the masses for a sanity check. Here's exactly how I put it together for the fourth time, starting with a blank canvas (excuse the scuffed wheel arch, steering limiters need replacing, make that 8 chapters! And no, that's not the cause of the rotational noise, because the noise continues after returning the wheels to being straight).
Bolt on the dust shield and brush off a bit of corrosion at the bottom to make absolutely sure that's not the problem although you already know it's not.
Smear some copper slip on the mating surface of the hub (admittedly too much but you've lost your temper by now)
Clean up the carrier with a wire wheel attached to a drill, tear your skin to bits in the process.
Bolt on the brake disc, grease the carrier surfaces and bolt that on too.
Clean up the slider pins with some wire wool. The bits left on them are the worst of what is left over, the rest is spotless.
Grease them up and pop them into the calliper ready for refitting. Grease the mating surfaces on the pads as well. Again, probably rather liberal with the grease but very fed up by now and the problem pre-dates the greasing.
Give the disk a liberal spray with brake cleaner both sides. Refit the calliper and rattle spring. Stick the wheel on and go for a drive enjoying the silence (or not!)
Now to my untrained and probably slightly biased eye I can't see anything that I missed or did particularly wrong (famous last words!).
All I can think is that the fault is within the brake calliper itself? But then would that present itself as an intermittent problem? Or can it just be rubbish pads & discs (they're Eicher for the record)?
Answers on a postcard?