The grumpy thread

[xtriple]

I once knocked my 350LC over while reversing my MK10 out! I was not happy. Mainly because the reason I was backing the Jag out was to go to the Hospital as I had fallen off the LC earlier in the day and broken bones in my foot!

[danthecapriman]

I once drove my old Volvo 244 into my driveway but left it a touch too late to turn in and ended up hitting the metal gatepost with the corner of the girder those cars use as bumpers.

I got out to check, hmm, gatepost looks bent to fuck. No damage at all to the Volvo other than a slight scuff mark to the rubber pad on the bumper. Volvo - 1 *** gatepost - 0

[Pieman]

My sister once backed her Peugeot 107 into a tree at the end of our drive.  Apparently on hearing a scraping noise, she ignored it and carried on reversing, ending up with the rear door almost bent round sideways.  It was very difficult not to belt her round the face for being so bloody stupid after that one. (I still maintain she was staring at her phone while backing off the drive but couldn't prove it).

Still, I got away lightly as my car was parked on the other side of hers at the time.

[Cavcraft]

A driver at a place I worked at years ago jumped in his cab, started his truck (which was in gear) and smashed straight into his own car. He claimed it via the lorry company insurance and got paid out.  This was the same bloke who used to hide in the boot of his car and get me to drive him up the road so he could go home and claim night out money. The fact he actually had to drive past the traffic office in his truck on the way in never bothered him.

[Rovorsche]

On 11/11/2019 at 6:57 PM, Lacquer Peel said:

I know AutoDoc can be slow but 9 days later the order is still being picked. Lucky it's just a bit of preventative maintenance rather than something I need urgently.

I am beginning to question the cost savings versus the extra downtime when using Autodoc.

Ordered on the 7th, packed on the 11th and nothing but silence ever since.....

The Tracking tool says the order has done "Datenerfassung" and "Unterwegs"  but has to go through "Ziel-Paketzentrum", "In Zustellung" then "Zugestelit" before I put my gloves on.

[iainrcz]

This is were an adult thinks is a good place to defrost frozen chicken.

Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

[MikeR]

My night time radio is full of xmas songs ... How am i supposed to sleep at work ...

Just got to last to Thursday and the hols kick in 

[beko1987]

I broke my mums old wheelie bin with my puma... Swung into the drive far too fast and didn't see it. Polished the scuff out of the bumper and my stepdad claimed the bin stolen the next week and got a new one. 

The cracked black bin that sits down the side of their house out the back and holds various garden tools is a different black bin of course... 

[BorniteIdentity]

I've been enjoying Top Gear magazine's stint with a 2019 Focus bASe - thanks to the nudge from @jumpingjehovahs

https://www.topgear.com/long-term-car-reviews/ford/focus/10-ecoboost-85-style-5dr/report-6

However, it turns out that FoMoCo in their infinite wisdom have now pulled the Style.  Read an earlier report on the car and you'll note that there's some top mingebaggery with the interior; no centre arm rest, no covers on any of the storage areas etc.  

Just as I finalise my car allowance for work - the only new car I really want is pulled.

Now to see if I can track one down!!

[Rovorsche]

If you look under the front corner of the abandoned bin there may be an rfid tag screwed in there, about the size of a screw top milk lid, if that has fallen out the bin is unlikely to ever be identified.........

 

 

Some councils wanted to charge by weight for disposal.

[New POD]

6 hours ago, xtriple said:

I once knocked my 350LC over while reversing my MK10 out! I was not happy. Mainly because the reason I was backing the Jag out was to go to the Hospital as I had fallen off the LC earlier in the day and broken bones in my foot!

I once fell off my 350lc (technically a 375LC) in.the garden. I started the bike. Walked to the top of the garden. Opened the gate. Walked back to the bike. Gave it a drag race start up the lawn and suddenly the wind caught the gate which closed.  I fell into nettles.  Student house. The back.wall was covered in mud from the lawn, back.wheel interface. 

[Rovorsche]

I bet you could even track that down the gumtree advert it was sold on with some decent pictures, ask for the full resolution pictures from the cameras for your defence.

[Lacquer Peel]

14 hours ago, Rovorsche said:

I am beginning to question the cost savings versus the extra downtime when using Autodoc.

Ordered on the 7th, packed on the 11th and nothing but silence ever since.....

The Tracking tool says the order has done "Datenerfassung" and "Unterwegs"  but has to go through "Ziel-Paketzentrum", "In Zustellung" then "Zugestelit" before I put my gloves on.

The app skipped those steps and went straight to delivery, I think my package took about two weeks. To be fair I haven't fitted the parts yet despite the aux belt squealing. 

[jumpingjehovahs]

13 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

I've been enjoying Top Gear magazine's stint with a 2019 Focus bASe - thanks to the nudge from @jumpingjehovahs

https://www.topgear.com/long-term-car-reviews/ford/focus/10-ecoboost-85-style-5dr/report-6

However, it turns out that FoMoCo in their infinite wisdom have now pulled the Style.  Read an earlier report on the car and you'll note that there's some top mingebaggery with the interior; no centre arm rest, no covers on any of the storage areas etc.  

Just as I finalise my car allowance for work - the only new car I really want is pulled.

Now to see if I can track one down!!

That's a pain! Although I have seen there's a red Style for sale in Bedford at the mo with 8 miles on the clock...!

[Inspector Morose]

Saab goes in for Mot today. Not usually much of a problem there but it chooses THAT MOMENT to shit its steering rack an piss all of its fluid out into the testers pit. 

YOU FUCKING ARSEHOLE!

It gets better. My tame tester is ff for Christmas after tomorrow  so won't be able to do anything until the new year (he doesn't really do anything like this normally - he's more of a general service and MoT man and avoids more involved jobs. Okay, I'll try and get it over to my tame Saab wrangler then. Checks MoT to make sure the fail hasn't flagged up on the system.

IT FUCKING RAN OUT ON THE 7TH. I swear it was the end of the month. So now I have an immobile car that can't be repaired soon and will cost to get sorted. At Christmas. When I need the car. When I need the money.

FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK.

 

Needless to say, I'm a bit miffed (and reasonably stressed out about it).

[jakebullet]

My dice suppliers are taking the piss. I ordered a metric fuckton in September and they've finally got round to sending out most of them today. When you've got a customer buying £4000 of your cubes at a time should you be trying to piss them off?

Spot the difference?

Or is it just me who thinks that's a bag of vaguely red and not orange? There's £40 in that bag that I can do fuck all with.

[LightBulbFun]

4 minutes ago, jakebullet said:

Or is it just me who thinks that's a bag of vaguely red and not orange? There's £40 in that bag that I can do fuck all with.

to me the ones in the bag look red like the one on the left rather then like the orange one on the right

maybe you could advertise them for sale as whatever the red-orange equivalent of turquoise is?

[jakebullet]

3 minutes ago, LightBulbFun said:

to me the ones in the bag look red like the one on the left rather then like the orange one on the right

maybe you could advertise them for sale as whatever the red-orange equivalent of turquoise is?

Not just me then. They sent 2 bags of orange orange  (the right one), and are just trying to dump crap on me.

[LightBulbFun]

5 minutes ago, jakebullet said:

Not just me then. They sent 2 bags of orange orange  (the right one), and are just trying to dump crap on me.

time to list your own supplier in the ebay fuckwits and arseholes thread?  

(now thats what I call meta LOL)

any chance you can complain to the supplier and see if you can get the issue sorted or is it one of those directly from china jobbies where you cant really do much?

 

(for what its worth if I was you i'd be confident in listing the not orange dice as red dice if you just needed to shift em)

[BorniteIdentity]

1 hour ago, jumpingjehovahs said:

That's a pain! Although I have seen there's a red Style for sale in Bedford at the mo with 8 miles on the clock...!

I’ve just seen that! Sadly a 100hp example rather than the miserly 86. I guess that makes it the equivalent of the Sierra; lowest spec but lowest but one engine output. 

Auto headlights are a bit unnecessary tho! ?

[Rovorsche]

2 hours ago, Lacquer Peel said:

The app skipped those steps and went straight to delivery, I think my package took about two weeks. To be fair I haven't fitted the parts yet despite the aux belt squealing. 

Parts arrived this morning, YaY

hopefully it won't be pissing down tonight

[barefoot]

40 minutes ago, LightBulbFun said:

(for what its worth if I was you i'd be confident in listing the not orange dice as red dice if you just needed to shift em)

Plus eleventy on flogging them as red. 

Not the greatest red, not scarlet, not crimson & certainly not orange, but that is a big bag of red dice.

Perhaps you could call it Autoshite red.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

51 minutes ago, jakebullet said:

....Spot the difference?

Or is it just me who thinks that's a bag of vaguely red and not orange? There's £40 in that bag that I can do fuck all with.

The one on the right looks like Portland Orange.

[barefoot]

8 minutes ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

The one on the right looks like Portland Orange.

I think you mean Portland Bill.

[High Jetter]

That's what he cement to say.

[Fumbler]

7 minutes ago, High Jetter said:

That's what he cement to say.

You mortared in that pun very well.

[High Jetter]

20 minutes ago, Fumbler said:

You mortared in that pun very well.

Thanks for pointing that out.

[dozeydustman]

Spot the difference

tripped over in an inspection cover/manhole in the depot this morning. Spent god knows how long at a&e. Have a crack in left ankle bone. Told r&r is best thing for a couple of days. Just got home.

 

Great.

[jakebullet]

The red* dice are actually orange*, just not the 'normal' orange claim the dice lot. They're willing to swap for orange orange. Quite why they decided to chuck a totally different tin of dye in the mix I do not know.

Maybe I should look into getting them from China, but I like the idea of supporting made in England. Prolly going to end in tears as they keep changing company name every 6 months.

[EssDeeWon]

someone in the office plays music out of their PC, generally not a problem until Lewis Crap audi comes on!!  FFS man its like having pins slowly pushed into your ear drums!!