The grumpy thread

[myglaren]

An observation - any time I see a car with exhibiting either of the following;

 

1) A dash cam with the screen lit up

2) A sat nav system positioned anywhere above the bottom quarter of the windscreen. 

 

It is always being driven by a clueless fucking specimen. 

I can't see mine unless it is adjacent to the mirror.

Hardly ever use it though and it is years out of date.

[bramz7]

An observation - any time I see a car with exhibiting either of the following;

 

1) A dash cam with the screen lit up

2) A sat nav system positioned anywhere above the bottom quarter of the windscreen.

 

It is always being driven by a clueless fucking specimen.

100%. I've driven past many meandering brainless drivers before and they've always had a sat nav right in front of them at maximum brightness.

[Crispian_J_Hotson]

Spent the day in hospital. Still here... WAITING!!!! Loosing the will to live...

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Come to Sunderland - named as best place to live in the UK.

I live just outside and that's as close as I want to get.

 

My hometown - and that has got to be a fucking joke of the highest order!!!! The only thing going for it in reality/living there is the low price of property - but that disappears in a puff of magic smoke as soon as you get close to the only thing of note - the fucking beach!

[alcyonecorporation]

Scrapped four cars that proved impossible to sell for parts. Tried so-called enthusiasts and got nowhere. 
My 306 Estate and Laguna V6 went straight to the frag, the latter out of spite because of the astonishing entitlement of the .2129 people who were interested in it for spares. 

The 605 was a nightmare so it got carted away after my patience expired. That was the car an eBayer suggested I give to him for free because he didn't have the money [but he could afford to collect it, somehow]. Eight timewasters later I fucked every panel up with a peen hammer to stop them being used and called a local salvage yard who turned up and paid cash. 
The 960 estate got saved but not before I had to wade through 7800 pages of horse shit on the VOC forum causing me to hand my membership back after 12 years; someone on here paid up for it eventually. 

My Applause ended up with a banger racer because it needed £500-worth of work to see another MoT. My previous employer had also docked my wages, every DD in sight was bouncing and I needed the funds to carry on. I was sick of the 500 miles of sad emoticons and 'sutch a shame' comments on Facebook without anyone actually pulling their finger out, so off it went. Hopes and wishes don't pay the bills when banks and creditors feel like taking the piss. 

I'm not sorry it's dead and I couldn't give a fuck what anyone happens to think about it. Sometimes old cars own you rather than the other way around. When you reach that point, you need to give your head a wobble. 

[alcyonecorporation]

Oh, and if one more pig shit thick ebayer questions where their item is after a ten day dispatch is clearly stated, I'll throw their fucking item out of the window on the Expressway out of spite. 

'Your precious fucking Hermes lost it, bucko, tough shit, you only paid 3p for postage anyway.' 

[Jazoli]

Oh, and if one more pig shit thick ebayer questions where their item is after a ten day dispatch is clearly stated, I'll throw their fucking item out of the window on the Expressway out of spite. 

 

'Your precious fucking Hermes lost it, bucko, tough shit, you only paid 3p for postage anyway.' 

 

Ten day dispatch? whats the hold up bro?

[alcyonecorporation]

Ten day dispatch? whats the hold up bro?

 

Local post office licks donkey chode and is often queued out to the point where a lunch hour isn't enough to get stuff sent. I've tried various collection services online and they never turn up/damage the item/generally fail. 

 

There is an awesome office further out but I tend to go there on weekends so I can get a nice sarnie from their chiller. It would take too long during the week to go there and back. I put ten days dispatch to cover myself; it tends to shut down entitled divs like stereo boat cumfart rather quickly. 

[Mally]

10 days?

Stuff comes from China faster than that!

[alcyonecorporation]

Next door neighbours had their bi-montly blazing row in the small hours last night. 

Very few things disturb my kip; crazed screaming is one of the few exceptions. 

Unfortunately, I set up their bluetooth home entertainment system because they couldn't get it to work. I still have the passwords and could play something utterly foul through their telly/soundbar/stereo tonight if they leave it on. 

They gave me the proper shit-eye for some reason this morning, so I'm very tempted. 

[alcyonecorporation]

10 days?

Stuff comes from China faster than that!

 

Do I look like a Chinese sweatshop?  

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

MOT place said structural FAIL and scrap it but didn't charge me anything so I prodded a few bits. Here's the rear NS sill from underneath.

 

IMG_20181124_131239.jpg

 

 

Christ, what's THAT?

[vulgalour]

Fucked.

[Lord Sterling]

Smashed the umpteenth smart phone I've had in the past few years, and I've only had this one a few months. Fucking great start to the week then, mind, it shouldn't cost me the earth unless I win a phone I'm bidding on eBay at the moment.

[bub2006]

New proton collected. Just currently sat outside Waltham abbey Jewish cemetery for the AA though as my proton has decided to shit it's gearbox. Looks like ATF cooler has failed as I've got water in the ATF.

[dozeydustman]

Smashed the umpteenth smart phone I've had in the past few years, and I've only had this one a few months. Fucking great start to the week then, mind, it shouldn't cost me the earth unless I win a phone I'm bidding on eBay at the moment.

 

 

you need one of these, sir.

 

[Aston Martin]

I wish your arteries the very best for the future!

I would argue with this, however tonight I am at a truck stop. Which I rarely do, but the burger I am eating has those "bone balls" in it....

[New POD]

Next door neighbours had their bi-montly blazing row in the small hours last night.

 

Very few things disturb my kip; crazed screaming is one of the few exceptions.

 

Unfortunately, I set up their bluetooth home entertainment system because they couldn't get it to work. I still have the passwords and could play something utterly foul through their telly/soundbar/stereo tonight if they leave it on.

 

They gave me the proper shit-eye for some reason this morning, so I'm very tempted.

Perhaps music from.the live story

[Wack]

I'm going to have to stop watching police interceptors before I start throwing stuff at the TV

 

Police just had a failed to stop , white Audi , don't know where but I'm going with Bradford or another town beginning with B , driver is shit , can't go round a corner without putting 2 wheels up the kerb , loses it and demolishes an electricity box after driving up the path

 

Gets out and runs , gets caught , 5 minutes and most of the population of the street is out with the usual suspects giving the police lip .

 

Driver refuses to say who owns the car , fails the breathalyser then admits its his dad's and he's not insured

 

So dangerous driving , failing to stop, drunk , and no insurance

 

They read the sentence out, £315 fine and a 16 month ban for drunk driving , no action on insurance or dangerous driving , what the fuck

[Guest Hooli]

New proton collected. Just currently sat outside Waltham abbey Jewish cemetery for the AA though as my proton has decided to shit it's gearbox. Looks like ATF cooler has failed as I've got water in the ATF.

 

You're luck is improving as you've got a spare car this time!

 

Give me a shout if you need a hand building a working shed appreciating modern classic out of the two.

[pandamonium]

Ex's playing mind games. Fed up of it.

Thread in open forum if anyone wants to know details

[bub2006]

You're luck is improving as you've got a spare car this time!

 

Give me a shout if you need a hand building a working shed appreciating modern classic out of the two.

That may be called upon!

[Zelandeth]

I'm going to have to stop watching police interceptors before I start throwing stuff at the TV

Police just had a failed to stop , white Audi , don't know where but I'm going with Bradford or another town beginning with B , driver is shit , can't go round a corner without putting 2 wheels up the kerb , loses it and demolishes an electricity box after driving up the path

Gets out and runs , gets caught , 5 minutes and most of the population of the street is out with the usual suspects giving the police lip .

Driver refuses to say who owns the car , fails the breathalyser then admits its his dad's and he's not insured

So dangerous driving , failing to stop, drunk , and no insurance

They read the sentence out, £315 fine and a 16 month ban for drunk driving , no action on insurance or dangerous driving , what the fuck

Aye, especially when someone who suffered a mental break in our family wound up with a two year ban and £1500 odd fine for drink driving - when there wasn't even any bloody evidence the car had ever been driven, no damage to anything save for the poor fox that was not that kicked off the whole episode.

 

The stuff you see on there where they get a slap on the wrist, whereas someone here who was a model citizen prior to one incident which was clearly an issue of mental health than a decided behaviour, and they get the book thrown at them.

[mercrocker]

FFS....Merc misfire not diagnosed due to the bastard behaving impeccably when in the workshop last week.   Used it Friday, fine.  Took it to Eastbourne Saturday morning and it hardly made it out of our street.   Back home, unpack the fucker, throw everything in the Fiesta and carry on.....£300 Fords FTW.  

 

However, that ain't my grump.   Mrs R. is currently using the Fezzer and has brought it home from her sons with a child's cot in it.   This "has" to go back in our loft as the kids want it kept - they slept in, their kids slept in it ya-da-ya.   

 

Five bed house with 40ft summer-house says to 2 up-2 down with tiny shed - Look after this will ya?   This was the gist of my grump to Mrs R which resulted in a raised-volume-TV flounce.

 

The next person likely to need it is eldest grand-daughter - in about 2036.  I will be 78 then.  Guess it won't be me going up in the cunting attic to get it back down.....   

[Timewaster]

Eight timewasters later.

 

Google God, could you imagine?!

[wuvvum]

Found out earlier today that a lass I used to work with 7 years ago, who did exactly the same job as me and is only a year or so older than me, has just been promoted to Chief Operating Officer of our Dubai operation.  Complete with relocation to Dubai and commensurate salary increase.  Meanwhile I'm still just a lowly drone in the Norwich office,  Makes me wonder where the f*ck I've gone wrong - not that I'd actually want to move to Dubai, it holds no appeal for me whatsoever, but it's the principle...

[Ghosty]

Leave mates house.

Drop other mate off 500yd down the road.

End of road, turn right, look, clear.

Some fucker on a moped blitzes out of nowhere and I have to slam on the brakes. Guy stops, gestures 'what'. I do too and drive off.

 

He's following me.

 

OH FUCK RUN.

 

tl;dr the Civic can hustle, and apparently I can do handbrake turns. Thank fuck I knew the streets cause I just bombed around, when it was clear I wouldn't shake him I just elected to stay in the car. Stopped eventually for a red light and the fucker tried to pull me out of the car. Drop thr hammer, speed like fuck back to mates house, lean on horn. Opens door, I mouth 'help' and he comes out with a baseball bat, eventually the guy leaves.

 

What fun.

[Eddie Honda]

Go home? I think moped boy might have calmed down a bit now.

[Ghosty]

I parked the Civic at the far end of the street and spoke to my mate for a bit. While I was in his living room I heard a moped pull up outside the window and immediately leave again.

Waited a while and fucked off.

[bub2006]

The proton has just turned up on a low loader. Bet the neighbours love me. Is it a common occurrence to go and buy a spares car to find out it may become the main car instead?!