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Everything posted by alcyonecorporation

  1. *looks for J reg Proton on E39 wheels* *finds 20p in handbrake* *realises BMW wheels have been hammered over smaller Proton wheels* *has whipround for new tyres after car park straightener*
  2. It does not have the original wheels. WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?!
  3. Gently shagged, understood.
  4. Yes, and imagine how ragingly shit the BINI would have been had it been made by Rover, with the K Series. Can you imagine the levels of apologism and back-pedalling? "But...but, it won a design award!" "But, but...it's always the inlet manifold gasket and never HGF! WHY DOES EVERYONE HAT ROVER?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! MEDIA CONSPIRACY! MEDIA CONSPIRACY! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" "Nothing wrong with my K Series, everyone else is wrong, they should all be checking their oil and coolant levels every time they go out like it's nineteen-fifty fucking seven" Foam, foam, fucking foam.
  5. He lost them and was flogged for failing to conform to the expectations of originality conferred on a fucked BMW by a niche interest car website.
  6. Bugger, my brain thought it was an LMX Sirex.
  7. Or who exactly he owes to sell something like that, at that price in a hurry. At this specific time, at this specific place, localised entirely in his [Richard] Kitchen.
  8. I'd probably keep one forever as a result.
  9. Took the SVX to the tip. All the shit fitted in the boot, and it was good. I listened to a terrible MiniDisc mix I compiled on my NetMD machine at home. It's silver, bulky, not that useful, heavy on juice, and a bit weird. Yes, it's the SVX in MiniDisc form. Said SVX likes to go wrong in weird ways; its favourite by far is 'blow H3 bulbs sporadically'. Earlier this week, however, on a business trip, see if you can work out what it decided to do: Yes, that's right, the rear plate fell off. I'm eventually having some fancy full size dealer jobs made, but they're pricey and I needed to keep the car legal lest I want to fart around in it (not that I think the local 5-0 would give much of flying fuck about a car without a rear plate; I drove it back 130 miles bereft, and nary a goose was booed). Halfords stepped into the breach, and gifted me a replacement, slightly on the piss plate for a trade card friendly £18. They're now ally instead of ABS plastic, and the face is printed/laminated in one go over the top.
  10. It will have come to you before CS gave it to me. It was the ex-Chompy Snake car with Honda Civic alloys and an obnoxious cunt trumpet exhaust. It needed too much work to see another test, so I sold it to a banger racer. I wanted £200 but nobody wanted to save it. It got raced in 2018-9 ish in March. There is an early pre-facelift Applause near my folks' in Cheshire, a high-spec one with BBS snowflake style alloys, but I haven't seen it for some time.
  11. Oh fucking hell, on Google Earth?
  12. Jesus fuck, it's like the refined 60s version of the postmodern BEDFORD CUBE that used to live down @Conrad D. Conelrad's road that we both remember, but neither of us can find photographs of. Worryingly, it was parked directly across from a primary school, and blacked out most of South Manchester when it finally fired up and drove away.
  13. Whoever stuck those stupid Halfords 'FORD MONDEO JAKE' typeface 'LAGONDA V8' badges on the wings need to stick them back up their arse from whence they came. I don't why people need to cover their cars in those piss awful wonky letters, they look fucking terrible.
  14. I could go to my local tip and LITERALLY LOOK AT THIS on the way back without deviating from my route.
  15. Corey Taylor from Slipknot was an outspoken advocate of the LDV Pilot.
  16. Has strong '사냥감 불법조달' energy.
  17. I did a small drive it day thing yesterday; what I call 'a Sunday' most weeks, weather dependent. A couple of friends and I went to the Lancaster Insurance Cars & Coffee meet. Having a Fiat Coupe 20V in convoy must have looked odd, as both cars are weirdly styled. Stranger still, people wanted to look at - and talk about - the SVX. This confused me, as on the occasions I do take it to shows it gets ignored in favour of whatever [insert British classic] turns up adjacent. This time, it was different. As everyone was clearing out, a bloke in an E-type FHC S1 drove in, scoped out the car park and then wanted to know more about it; as it turns out, he ran a '92 Legacy estate a daily driver, and had never seen an SVX before. Sadly, it also remains something of a bell end magnet - and a very specific bell end magnet at that. It doesn't look fast or provocative to me, but every other cunt in the East Midlands disagrees; it's middle-aged blokes in Mazda 6s who are triggered the most. I had a right war pulling on to the A1(M); I was there for one junction, joining the A605 from Stilton. Some boggle-eyed thick bastard saw me on the entry slip, dropped several gears to draw level and wouldn't stop tailgating despite the fact I wasn't trying (at all, I just wanted to get away from him) before veering across all four lanes in a massive strop when I gestured for him to fuck off. Later on, driving through a village near Graffham Water, I was tailgated back to fuck by...yes...you guessed it, a miserable middle-aged cumbauble driving a Mazda 6. Fuck knows what that's all about. Any ideas?
  18. there was an opportunity and they took it
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