What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[reb]

  On 16/08/2024 at 22:03, Wibble said:

I don’t know you, apart from my time on here but I am very sorry you lost him at such a young age. Hope you can track the car down. Losing my Dad is still raw for me and I’ve probably got 30 years on you, and far less intelligence! All the best.

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The last four years has somehow both felt like no time at all but also literally forever. I don't think it ever really gets any easier, it just changes. Honestly tonight is the first time I've really thought about it properly for a while, normally I keep it shoved way down because I feel the need to be there for others and I can't do that if I'm deeply sad myself. As I remarked to a psychiatrist I bumped into on a walk round the hospital grounds the other day, it was just yet another one of those things that I was sure was the end of the road and yet here I am. I was pretty fucked up already, to be honest. The hardest part is that the number of people who understand what it's like to lose your dad in your 20s out of nowhere on a random saturday afternoon is basically zero.

At least I can derive comfort from the fact that I am very much like him, and very few people ever had a bad word to say about him.

[Wibble]

  On 16/08/2024 at 23:00, reb said:

The last four years has somehow both felt like no time at all but also literally forever. I don't think it ever really gets any easier, it just changes. Honestly tonight is the first time I've really thought about it properly for a while, normally I keep it shoved way down because I feel the need to be there for others and I can't do that if I'm deeply sad myself. As I remarked to a psychiatrist I bumped into on a walk round the hospital grounds the other day, it was just yet another one of those things that I was sure was the end of the road and yet here I am. I was pretty fucked up already, to be honest. The hardest part is that the number of people who understand what it's like to lose your dad in your 20s out of nowhere on a random saturday afternoon is basically zero.

At least I can derive comfort from the fact that I am very much like him, and very few people ever had a bad word to say about him.

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I completely understand what you’re saying. It’s  less than two years since my Dad went, it doesn’t get easier, you just learn to live with it. I also understand keeping it shut away, for other’s sake. I haven’t properly grieved for the same reasons, others grieving need to lean on me, siblings, wife, kids, not easy but there we are. They loved him too and, apparently, I remind them of him, which doesn’t help, to be honest, as proud as it makes me feel.

Back in the 90s, a mate lost his Dad at your age. We all went to his funeral and it was hard, very hard. It’s never easy, no matter what age you are.

Be proud that you’re considered to be like your Dad and lean on us when you need to. There’s a lot of us rooting for you.

[New POD]

  On 16/08/2024 at 22:03, Wibble said:

I don’t know you, apart from my time on here but I am very sorry you lost him at such a young age. Hope you can track the car down. Losing my Dad is still raw for me and I’ve probably got 30 years on you, and far less intelligence! All the best.

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Grief is still a thing that has both no logic and lots of logic, and age probably makes it worse. 

I struggle to understand my wife's grief. Her parents died in Nov 20 and March 21, and almost every other day, she still breaks down in  tears. She was very close to them, and I think that makes it worse. They were both pretty old, but that's no excuse for not grieving.  

[comfortablynumb]

Lost my dad just after Christmas 2022, he was 87 and not in the best of health.

Still was a huge shock tho, and I randomly fall apart occasionally over silly things.

The worst is when I see something, or need something that makes me think ' oh I'll just ask dad.....oh'🥺

[reb]

  On 17/08/2024 at 07:52, comfortablynumb said:

 

The worst is when I see something, or need something that makes me think ' oh I'll just ask dad.....oh'🥺

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The photo above was taken just before me and my mate tried to take an 850 bonnet out of his V70. It got hopelessly stuck. Both of our first instincts was to phone my dad. That was the first moment that it really sunk in.

[EyesWeldedShut]

  On 17/08/2024 at 08:28, reb said:

The photo above was taken just before me and my mate tried to take an 850 bonnet out of his V70. It got hopelessly stuck. Both of our first instincts was to phone my dad. That was the first moment that it really sunk in.

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Maybe just wonder to yourself "How would Dad deal with this? What would he tell me to do?" 
I never had any kids but ended up with an 8 year old and a 10 year old rocking up when I married the Child Bride - I then spent at least a decade asking myself those two questions. 
It worked - neither of them ended up that warped  actually, maybe,  less warped than your bonnet? 
Rather than missing/regretting the departed think of the good times celebrate*/cherish/grin about times you had with them- time softens the rough edges (honest).

*personally I dislike the 'celebrate' moniker attached to farewell services - just feels too much like 'dancing on a grave'
p.s. pinky/red V70 estate went past us on the M49 yesterday - fine looking beasts

 

[reb]

  On 17/08/2024 at 08:45, EyesWeldedShut said:

Maybe just wonder to yourself "How would Dad deal with this? What would he tell me to do?" 
I never had any kids but ended up with an 8 year old and a 10 year old rocking up when I married the Child Bride - I then spent at least a decade asking myself those two questions. 
It worked - neither of them ended up that warped  actually, maybe,  less warped than your bonnet? 
Rather than missing/regretting the departed think of the good times celebrate*/cherish/grin about times you had with them- time softens the rough edges (honest).

*personally I dislike the 'celebrate' moniker attached to farewell services - just feels too much like 'dancing on a grave'
p.s. pinky/red V70 estate went past us on the M49 yesterday - fine looking beasts

 

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That's what I try to do these days. It's funny because even though he never smoked his advice when I was stuck was often "step away and have a fag" and it is amazing how often it works!

I wouldn't quite go as far to say I'm glad he died when he did, but in a way... I don't know, it's probably worth something to have had the literal worst year of my life so early if that makes sense? I made it through 2020 alive, so I can make it through anything.

I feel very blessed to have had him as a dad. Much the same as him I seem to be fairly universally recognised as a kind bloke that will do his best to help basically anyone, just because. Not even because it's "the right thing to do". Just because it's what you do. (I know I'm a cunt on here sometimes, but aren't we all)

[Wibble]

  On 17/08/2024 at 07:52, comfortablynumb said:

Lost my dad just after Christmas 2022, he was 87 and not in the best of health.

Still was a huge shock tho, and I randomly fall apart occasionally over silly things.

The worst is when I see something, or need something that makes me think ' oh I'll just ask dad.....oh'🥺

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Dad died October ‘22, Mum 23/12/23. I completely understand how you feel.

[myglaren]

 

[Soundwave]

Saw this whilst on a walk earlier. The residents of Canal Street in Oakthorpe might want to consider trimming this hedge... 

Yes, I am a massive child. 

 

[vulgalour]

So am I because I stopped to take a mileage picture this afternoon.

[comfortablynumb]

  On 17/08/2024 at 20:45, vulgalour said:

So am I because I stopped to take a mileage picture this afternoon.

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Don't think I've ever had anything with mileage that low......unless it's second time around 😁

[beko1987]

I missed 177777 yesterday, not quite cross enough for the grumpy thread but it ticked round to 177,778 and I realised. 

Probably couldn't have pulled over though

[hairnet]

@quicksilver

[hairnet]

Michael vaughan on the cricket

What a cnut he looks 

Suit jacket but round t shirt

His trousers are too short

No socks and wearing trainers

And that without him saying anything 

Twat

 

[myglaren]

 

[gm]

a Scalextric Blues Mobile ! 

[GrumpiusMaximus]

  On 18/08/2024 at 20:54, gm said:

a Scalextric Blues Mobile ! 

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I’m going to a funeral this afternoon.  Just got myself ready and my other half just says:

’Well, you’re either going to a funeral or you’re joining the Blues Brothers.’

Took the edge off a bit.

[comfortablynumb]

  On 18/08/2024 at 20:54, gm said:

a Scalextric Blues Mobile ! 

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I had to get one of those when they were first issued.

And the police cruiser that matches it

And the FAB1 rolls

And the micro scalextric wacky races cars

And road runner and Wylie coyote

Can you see where this is going.... ?🥺

[iainrcz]

My brother borrowed my chainsaw.

He spent the morning panicking it wouldn't work.

 

He had the chain brake on.

[myglaren]

 

[Blunderguts]

  On 19/08/2024 at 15:27, myglaren said:

 

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Looks just like your average supermarket carpark chaos.

[comfortablynumb]

  On 19/08/2024 at 15:03, iainrcz said:

My brother borrowed my chainsaw.

He spent the morning panicking it wouldn't work.

 

He had the chain brake on.

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I laughed, but when MK3 son borrowed mine, he did exactly the same thing, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he'd done 🤦

[grizz]

Love these. 

[iainrcz]

  On 19/08/2024 at 16:00, comfortablynumb said:

I laughed, but when MK3 son borrowed mine, he did exactly the same thing, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he'd done 🤦

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I was doing troubleshooting via the phone, so it took a while for me to ask the question.

[comfortablynumb]

Id actually lend him the titan electric one, since he's not good with ic units, he's already broken my petrol shredder which is only about 8 months old.

TBF the electric one is just completely dead when the brake is on, so I thought he'd burnt it out....

[GrumpiusMaximus]

On my way to said funeral today on the A2, saw a Deloeran in full replica mode.

[hairnet]

macgyver starts from ep1 tomorrow on LEG END

while looking at that 

saw that a team starts from ep1 later in teh week

 

[320touring]

Made a video of some oft he cars launching at the Hillclimb yesterday 

 

 

Fair old mix of scrap🤣

[comfortablynumb]

  On 19/08/2024 at 17:22, hairnet said:

macgyver starts from ep1 tomorrow on LEG END

while looking at that 

saw that a team starts from ep1 later in teh week

 

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Sad isn't it?

30 channels of shit, as Pink Floyd said, and the only stuff worth watching is things that were made 40odd years ago 🙄

(Yeah I know they said 13, and there's a lot more than that, but still)

Edited August 20, 2024 by comfortablynumb
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