What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[richardmorris]

3 hours ago, Joey spud said:

I was working at a certain fast fit emporium earlier and this guy snuck into the back of my van.

Monsieur Bibendum has been on a diet!

[Fumbler]

Drug and alcohol testing scheduled for next Wednesday and it all starts on September 1st with me going to Bridgewater college on September 7th! It's all moving fast!

[robinmasters]

1 hour ago, richardmorris said:

Monsieur Bibendum has been on a diet!

It's all them nuts he eats. Full of protein. 

[Floatylight]

No pics but followed a Capri down the M6today which appeared to be devoid of any straight panels and had tasteful* twin side striaght pipes on both sides making a right din..

[wuvvum]

There are an unusually large number of Rover 75s on the roads of Norfolk today.  Which is nice.

[vulgalour]

Applied for the second Covid relief grant and actually got it this time.  Not the FAAAHSANDS some of my friends have received but certainly a welcome windfall.  Slight uptick in sales through the Redbubble shop too, so that was another nice bit of pocket money, even sold a big print of the Metro Chairman!

[Wack]

20 hours ago, Floatylight said:

No pics but followed a Capri down the M6today which appeared to be devoid of any straight panels and had tasteful* twin side striaght pipes on both sides making a right din..

hope he wasn't heading to Cambridge

https://garagewire.co.uk/news/police-clamping-down-on-loud-exhausts-in-cambridgeshire/?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=News&utm_content=News CID_1b948931072f4e915132f781437c14eb&utm_source=Email marketing software&utm_term=loud exhausts&fbclid=IwAR29ZMnbrnEEqpkhPvtseW3kqyMYT5XAQh0Xk-M7NnbW5PsCzXbZtFSzPu0

[Wack]

 

On 8/15/2020 at 5:11 PM, somewhatfoolish said:

Just reading your sig

 

Do what this guy did , register on facebook with the username Customer Support and start replying to the complaints on manufacturers threads

https://www.boredpanda.com/customer-support-guy-different-companies-logos-facebook-profile/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

 

 

[Frogchod]

Bits of Calvados are back up to 90kph ?

Now I can get the XM into 5th and save some fuel. 

I wonder what they're going to do with a shed load of slightly used 80 signs ?

[maxxo]

The guy in the modified fiesta driving like an absolute twat round hartlepool tonight

it really cheered me up when he understeered on a roundabout and slammed into a kerb

what makes it even better is the fact he's completely destroyed the strut

towns aren't the place to be driving like that

[anonymous user]

I never knew Calvados was a place, I've only known it as a very nice drink.

Presumably the signs can be amended with some Tippex 

[somewhatfoolish]

2 hours ago, Wack said:

 

Just reading your sig

Do what this guy did , register on facebook with the username Customer Support and start replying to the complaints on manufacturers threads

https://www.boredpanda.com/customer-support-guy-different-companies-logos-facebook-profile/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

 

That's some trolling; the sig isn't me, I harvested it from the plague thread earlier in the year when idiots were emptying shelves in ASco and Didldidi. I can't remember whose dyspepsia it was.

[Wack]

2 hours ago, maxxo said:

The guy in the modified fiesta driving like an absolute twat round hartlepool tonight

it really cheered me up when he understeered on a roundabout and slammed into a kerb

what makes it even better is the fact he's completely destroyed the strut

towns aren't the place to be driving like that

Some dickon a motorbike was popping wheelies. Hitting 60+ in a 30 , weaving about overtaking cars  round a housing estate today , unfortunately he didn't get twatted by a car 

[maxxo]

3 minutes ago, Wack said:

Some dickon a motorbike was popping wheelies. Hitting 60+ in a 30 , weaving about overtaking cars  round a housing estate today , unfortunately he didn't get twatted by a car 

Now that's a shame

it felt so good to see the fiesta get what he deserved,

it never happens usually and they just get away with it

[maxxo]

8 minutes ago, Nyphur said:

Big ups to @maxxo for giving me completely free of charge Picasso knowledge/advice via PM ?

not a problem at all, i'd never charge for helping/giving advice

 

[DoctorRetro]

14 minutes ago, Wack said:

Some dickon a motorbike was popping wheelies. Hitting 60+ in a 30 , weaving about overtaking cars  round a housing estate today , unfortunately he didn't get twatted by a car 

Some wankstain on a modified ped was weaving in and out of cars on the A1114? out of Chelmsford today. I had been overtaking something and was about to come back in when he whizzed past my nearside. He's lucky I took the Fenlander today as if I'd been in the Tourer with its blind spots, he'd have definitely added to the Zombie apocalypse look with himself smeared down the side! 

My grin is going out in the 218D today, and feeling like I'd just bought a new car, as I've been neglecting it lately. It was a slow and clunky drive, but still enjoyable. 

 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

3 hours ago, Frogchod said:

....I wonder what they're going to do with a shed load of slightly used 80 signs ?

They could sell them to the Department of Transport here in the hope that motorway speed limits go up by 10mph. But if they do, everyone would just do 95mph....

[andy18s]

https://www.facebook.com/100004505440146/posts/1618549908305175/

[Remspoor]

13 hours ago, Frogchod said:

Bits of Calvados are back up to 90kph ?

Now I can get the XM into 5th and save some fuel. 

I wonder what they're going to do with a shed load of slightly used 80 signs ?

The same as they do in Spain. Save them for when they change yet again.

I read a long time ago that France was going to increase the speed limit back to normality. Please to see it is now happening. Must be a wait of two years maybe a year and a half?

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Seems Rick Wakeman started out as a shiter....

 

[Aston Martin]

Work rang. 

"You haven't got two jobs have you?"

 

I barley have this job... 

 

Anyway, "Youre on the wrong tax code." I said I know last year they gave me a rebate and I assumed they'd changed it.

 

Nope, I have to ring them and then they send shite to work. Either way I should be getting a rebate soon.

[PhilA]

On 8/17/2020 at 4:15 PM, Fumbler said:

Drug and alcohol testing scheduled for next Wednesday and it all starts on September 1st with me going to Bridgewater college on September 7th! It's all moving fast!

You do realize that if your drug screens come back negative you won't be allowed to go to Bridgwater College, right?

[Fumbler]

2 hours ago, PhilA said:

You do realize that if your drug screens come back negative you won't be allowed to go to Bridgwater College, right?

Surely you mean attaining a positive result for drugs?

I understand it to be a test for any controlled substances and alcohol that would be in your system if you had any, as the company has a zero tolerance policy. I don't drink or do drugs.

 

 

EDIT: Perhaps I've misinterpreted what @PhilA has written. Apologies if I have!

[Borsuq]

Learned something interesting* about the wipers on my Polonez.

Older Poldis had a little terribly placed dial to adjust the speed of intermittent wipers:

I knew this feature was dropped in the MR'93 refresh (which is what my car is), and I assumed they just moved onto a set wipe interval for intermittent wipers.

Turns out that's not true. By reading the manual I discovered that you can program your own interval by pulling and quickly releasing the wiper stalk (same movement as activating front wash) twice. The car will measure the time between your 2 pulls and set that as the new wipe interval. Swanky.

Also, what I thought was a really unresponsive wash activation is actually the mist function. A quick pull and release of the stalk gives you a single wipe, while a pull and hold turns on the washers.

[PhilA]

21 minutes ago, Borsuq said:

 The car will measure the time between your 2 pulls and set that as the new wipe interval. Swanky.

Wiper switch stolen from VW.

[Borsuq]

Just now, PhilA said:

Wiper switch stolen from VW.

Probably not as it's a typical Fiat 3 stalk design, but the idea may well have been nicked from VW.

[Wack]

The traffic jam of dreams

 

[Tamworthbay]

Driving up the M6 about an hour ago in moderate rain and heavy traffic when this twat in a MK4 Golf goes across three lanes, up the hard shoulder and back across three lanes narrowly missing several cars and comes out in front of a new Merc estate. My wife says ‘it’s times like these when you wish you had a dash camera’ just as the Merc lights up like a Christmas tree with blues and twos. Superb!

[Tadhg Tiogar]

9 minutes ago, Tamworthbay said:

Driving up the M6 about an hour ago in moderate rain and heavy traffic when this twat in a MK4 Gold goes across three lanes, up the hard shoulder and back across three lanes narrowly missing several cars and comes out in front of a new Merc estate. My wife says ‘it’s times like these when you wish you had a dash camera’ just as the Merc lights up like a Christmas tree with blues and twos. Superb!

Which constabulary covers that stretch? It might turn up on their road traffic Twatter feed....

[Tamworthbay]

1 minute ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

Which constabulary covers that stretch? It might turn up on their road traffic Twatter feed....

West mids, I don’t do twitter but it was the junction before the A38 going North, approx 6.15-6.30ish. Would be interested to hear if anything is on there.