What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[willswitchengage]

Someone has been hard at work today in BBC News's sense of humour department

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-22135870

Quote

Household waste disguised as hay bales dumped in Essex

Quote

Three men from east London, aged 19, 23 and 47, have been arrested on suspicion of depositing and storing waste on an unpermitted site.

They were interviewed by Environment Agency officers and bailed until 10 July pending further inquiries.

 

[mitsisigma01]

1 hour ago, willswitchengage said:

Someone has been hard at work today in BBC News's sense of humour department

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-22135870

 

Just seen a similar case on "Defenders" BBC 1 morning show. 

Black bails of industrial /domestic crap, 2000 of them, fk me how long would that take to offload and nobody noticed anything ?

[dozeydustman]

[Three Speed]

Driving to work this morning came across a bit of floodage. Up one click on the suspension and drive through thinking about rustproofing.

[STUNO]

Our council have put up the rubbish dump charges substantially. Now they are complaining about the cost of collecting the seriously increased amount of fly-tipping left at any quiet spot in the district.

TOLD YA SO !!!

[mat_the_cat]

14 hours ago, New POD said:

He sounds like a twat. 

Does he earn that much ? Has he got a qualification in Old fashioned time study ? 

If the target can't be hit, it's the fault of the person who designed the methods. 

I'd get his output for him.  Might end up.with more people though 

When can you start?

We make seven different lenses to go into a head-up display projector. Lenses are manufactured in batches, due to wanting to spread machine set-up time (3-7 hours versus 20-45 minutes machining time per lens) over as many lenses as possible, whilst still needing to make all seven before Assembly runs out of one type. The 'grand plan' was to reduce batch sizes by from 24 to 14, but manufacture two batches at once, so one set-up covers 28 lenses. Benefit being that Assembly don't have to wait until 24 lenses have been made, but they can start building once the first 14 have been made.

Problem is that as the batches of lenses are also processed at other departments within the company, so we rarely get two batches together, hence almost twice as much time setting up! We've now increased the batch sizes again...

[New POD]

1 minute ago, mat_the_cat said:

When can you start?

We make seven different lenses to go into a head-up display projector. Lenses are manufactured in batches, due to wanting to spread machine set-up time (3-7 hours versus 20-45 minutes machining time per lens) over as many lenses as possible, whilst still needing to make all seven before Assembly runs out of one type. The 'grand plan' was to reduce batch sizes by from 24 to 14, but manufacture two batches at once, so one set-up covers 28 lenses. Benefit being that Assembly don't have to wait until 24 lenses have been made, but they can start building once the first 14 have been made.

Problem is that as the batches of lenses are also processed at other departments within the company, so we rarely get two batches together, hence almost twice as much time setting up! We've now increased the batch sizes again...

Google SMED 

Google Swim lane diagram. 

 

[hairnet]

First stop sign at an intersection what did blow thru other side as I waited?

Volvo 850 estate with a. Fucked exhaust

 

[paulplom]

One for the single and sad thread

Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk

[Bobthebeard]

After two back to back return trips to Liverpool airport, doing a brim to brim fuel check and discovering that my Dacia Logan MCV diesel managed to do slightly over 70 mpg. Mainly motorways and at night, but even so. It's a P/H (taxi) so these things matter. 

[Neil clark]

4 minutes ago, Bobthebeard said:

After two back to back return trips to Liverpool airport, doing a brim to brim fuel check and discovering that my Dacia Logan MCV diesel managed to do slightly over 70 mpg. Mainly motorways and at night, but even so. It's a P/H (taxi) so these things matter. 

My Peugeot expert hackney gets about 35......

[Bobthebeard]

It's been great TBH. Round the doors local work it does around 50 MPG with the above on longer stuff. The adblue consumption seems very low also. A few niggles, trim isn't very robust ( door seals becoming detached with passengers scuffing them with their feet ) and floor covering being thin and fragile, odd position of some switches etc. Am becoming very attached to it though. It does the job and being 'my office' on a daily basis am happy to go to work. 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

54 minutes ago, Bobthebeard said:

.....my Dacia Logan MCV diesel managed to do slightly over 70 mpg. Mainly motorways and at night, but even so. It's a P/H (taxi) so these things matter. 

Is it possible to remap it for even greater economy?

[Neil clark]

17 minutes ago, Bobthebeard said:

It's been great TBH. Round the doors local work it does around 50 MPG with the above on longer stuff. The adblue consumption seems very low also. A few niggles, trim isn't very robust ( door seals becoming detached with passengers scuffing them with their feet ) and floor covering being thin and fragile, odd position of some switches etc. Am becoming very attached to it though. It does the job and being 'my office' on a daily basis am happy to go to work. 

I'm looking at a new Renault hackney maybe next year, we will see! Euro6.2 and 6 speed hopefully do more lol

[Bobthebeard]

1 minute ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

Is it possible to remap it for even greater economy?

Possibly, but only if I push it rather than actually driving it I suspect.

[jmsguzzi]

The perfect Valentine’s Day targeted ad on tinder 

[hairnet]

I'm such a sad bastard

 

also spot - school bus woulda got it but kids everywhere so no

going autozone later so maybe more

[wuvvum]

Didn't realise you'd gone to Australia Hairnet.

[Jerzy Woking]

My mate wanted a van to move a few things to storage, so I lent him my Vivaro. He left me his Peugeot 507 coupe to use. 

Must say it is comfy, quiet, a real waft barge, but bloody hell it is huge. 2.0 diesel although can hardly hear it running from the inside.

He can keep the van for as long as he wants.

EDIT: Silly boy, it's a 407, as indicated by the exterior badges and the embroided floormats.

[hairnet]

Just now, wuvvum said:

Didn't realise you'd gone to Australia Hairnet.

Yeah......stupid phone

[Aston Martin]

This cunts not one of us is he?

 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8004033/Influencer-threatens-make-break-family-run-business-online-unless-gets-free-car-exhaust.html

[omegod]

9 minutes ago, Aston Martin said:

This cunts not one of us is he?

 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8004033/Influencer-threatens-make-break-family-run-business-online-unless-gets-free-car-exhaust.html

Typical Daily Fail, he was vilified 6 months ago on social media for being  a complete twat , he has pariah status now 

[New POD]

10 hours ago, Bobthebeard said:

After two back to back return trips to Liverpool airport, doing a brim to brim fuel check and discovering that my Dacia Logan MCV diesel managed to do slightly over 70 mpg. Mainly motorways and at night, but even so. It's a P/H (taxi) so these things matter. 

I managed Uttoxeter to Aintree this afternoon, and got 34.8 mpg according to the trip computer.  It's never been that high ever. 

The traffic was light, and I toottled along with cruise set at the speed limit or lower.

 

[somewhatfoolish]

Slow news day in the Daily Heil newsroom?

[New POD]

22 minutes ago, Aston Martin said:

This cunts not one of us is he?

 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8004033/Influencer-threatens-make-break-family-run-business-online-unless-gets-free-car-exhaust.html

"Influencer?" My arse!

As much as I like a beige mk2 cavalier with the wrong wheels, I'm not about to be influenced by anyone on social media. 

[danthecapriman]

13 hours ago, paulplom said:

One for the single and sad thread

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I’ve never liked you Paul!?

[MikeR]

nealrly busta rib this morning

guy who weights some 20 stone and built like a brick outhouse  crept up behind another guy who is some 8 stone fuck all wet .

screamed in his ear and threw him around .......

 

ever seen some one drop their bottle and look a bit concerned !!!

I nearly pissed myself

[brownnova]

[Craig the Princess]

7 minutes ago, brownnova said:

Looks better than most of the campers on the eBay tat thread recently.

[hairnet]

I think he was going to the tip

My shitta 1.8 CVT bfo screen in the dash which was annoying

Handled ok did 85 at 2k on the small about of freeway I did

211 miles on 17 dollars - and you're not allowed to pump gas yourself in NJ stickers all over the pumps etc but I did my own at a place nearer the airport than this one the last time

Worked out 28 us mpg 34 UK mpg