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outlaw118

What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

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the massive pervs that are scotoshite (or most of them) need to visit here :D

all of them on the railbike :D

reminds me of travelling from lurgan to ballyconnell - border is that twisted you cross the border at least 5-6 times - nuts

 

 

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We had a diversity survey sent around the office by HR. We were busy so basically everyone ignored it.  

 We were read the riot act today for not completing it and ordered to do so.  Some had expressed concern about their nationality or sexuality being in the public domain but we were assured no names would be recorded, it was for HR’s records.   So nobody would know who submitted the survey then?  That’s good......

I had no idea I was a disabled Chinese lesbian Muslim and two of my workmates are Mongolian Jewish dwarves.  But according to HR they are now!  
 

I expect we will have to do it again later this week.

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1 hour ago, Parky said:

We had a diversity survey sent around the office by HR. We were busy so basically everyone ignored it.  

 We were read the riot act today for not completing it and ordered to do so.  Some had expressed concern about their nationality or sexuality being in the public domain but we were assured no names would be recorded, it was for HR’s records.   So nobody would know who submitted the survey then?  That’s good......

I had no idea I was a disabled Chinese lesbian Muslim and two of my workmates are Mongolian Jewish dwarves.  But according to HR they are now!  
 

I expect we will have to do it again later this week.

For 20 years my HR surveys were filled in to state I was a black woman aged between 30 and 34. The same details every year.

With 24,000 employees angry with the sheer amount of surveys and diversity workshops to attend, I am sure I wasnt the only one.

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If the result of the survey is that HR make a chart showing half the employees are from ethnic minorities, 40% are gay and 35% are disabled then that could be seen as an advantage as they won't need to make an effort to increase those numbers 🤫

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Took some parcels to the post office , the woman behind the counter has lost weight and bought a new dress , black and very tight , she's about 30 and looks fantastic in it , all tits, and arse , not sure me standing there with my mouth wide open having a moment was what she's aiming for but she's got a body that would stop traffic so I can't imagine I'm the first today to go a bit weak at the knees 

 

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I do similar with supplier questionnaires for customers that don’t make human contact, nothing ever comes of it so I assume no one reads them. 

Average number of employees? 2.5

Do you have an equal opportunities policy? Well no, but that’s because there are two of us and a written policy seems like a waste of time etc

 

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Achtung - football alert.

It's like travelling back in time with Amazon Prime's Premier League coverage - commentary team Peter Drury and Jim Beglin. Like ITV about five years ago..

Am disappoint, however, they haven't wheeled out Big Ron, the racist twat.

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1 hour ago, Wack said:

Took some parcels to the post office , the woman behind the counter has lost weight and bought a new dress , black and very tight , she's about 30 and looks fantastic in it , all tits, and arse , not sure me standing there with my mouth wide open having a moment was what she's aiming for but she's got a body that would stop traffic so I can't imagine I'm the first today to go a bit weak at the knees 

 

We had a girl in the factory ... Who was called.   ....   Spanner 

Everytime she walked past your nuts would tighten .

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We had a girl in the office known as Marvellous.  Imaginative lot weren’t we?

it was true though, she was just un-be-lievable in every way.  Even though all the guys listed after her, she was just so far out of our league we didn’t even try.

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Anyway, speaking of grins, two months after being shunted off the road by a fucking idiot, my fucking idiot insurer, in conjunction with fucking idiot repair shop finally agreed a final valuation on my car.  Well short of where it should be.

Mention of misleading brochure wording and the review of it by four insurance professionals, each of whom recommended approaching the ombudsman ensured the final payment was reviewed to exactly what it should be.  All I need do now is send off some papers and we’re all done.

Next up is finding something for two grand to get Mrs P mobile again,  needs to be comfy and reliable so am thinking Corolla or Yaris as they always seem to be the answer don’t they?

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I can’t get a Kelisa, Mrs P knows they are a bigger fanny magnet than the Satsuma GT and a fat 46 year old in one of those would cause so much consternation and sheer bloody lust from the women of East London that productivity would be significantly reduced and crash the economy or somesuch. 

 

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Honestly can't decide what estate with leather bum heaters i want between the 406 and Vec, so done the responsible thing and looked at what the insurance would be if i bought both.... Because nothing says WINNING like a man with 2 estates.

For once, the insurance aren't doing the thing where i can have 1 car for around £300-350 and wanting 2 grand for each and every car on top of that and would let me have more than 1 at a reasonable price..... ffs, i was hoping it'd put me off the idea 😂

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On 12/1/2019 at 8:15 AM, junkyarddog said:

Went to the local cars and coffee meet today.

My little piece of mediocre 70's Japanese motoring got a rosette!

Not very often things like this happen to me,my cars are generally borderline scrap.

20191201_133051.thumb.jpg.5b39390dd2c94d2d00574a6c2579f92e.jpg

Not only did that make me grin, it kind of made my day. 

Im always trawling the for sale ads here in the US for an early Corolla like that. I had a 75ish as my first car. It was bright orange and was know to all of my mates as Cyril. 

To see one in such peachy condition is a real thing of wonder. Thanks for posting!

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10 hours ago, Wack said:

Took some parcels to the post office , the woman behind the counter has lost weight and bought a new dress , black and very tight , she's about 30 and looks fantastic in it , all tits, and arse , not sure me standing there with my mouth wide open having a moment was what she's aiming for but she's got a body that would stop traffic so I can't imagine I'm the first today to go a bit weak at the knees 

 

So how many empty boxes have you posted to yourself so far? 

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11 hours ago, Parky said:

Anyway, speaking of grins, two months after being shunted off the road by a fucking idiot, my fucking idiot insurer, in conjunction with fucking idiot repair shop finally agreed a final valuation on my car.  Well short of where it should be.

Mention of misleading brochure wording and the review of it by four insurance professionals, each of whom recommended approaching the ombudsman ensured the final payment was reviewed to exactly what it should be.  All I need do now is send off some papers and we’re all done.

Next up is finding something for two grand to get Mrs P mobile again,  needs to be comfy and reliable so am thinking Corolla or Yaris as they always seem to be the answer don’t they?

Finally!! About fucking time. 

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16 hours ago, Parky said:

We had a girl in the office known as Marvellous.  Imaginative lot weren’t we?

it was true though, she was just un-be-lievable in every way.  Even though all the guys listed after her, she was just so far out of our league we didn’t even try.

A mate worked in an office a few years ago, they had a woman  they called Kronenburg , from the back she looked 16 but when she turned round it was more like 64

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18 hours ago, Parky said:

 

Next up is finding something for two grand to get Mrs P mobile again,  needs to be comfy and reliable so am thinking a Chrysler 300c hemi as they always seem to be the answer don’t they?

Well for just a little bit more you could have mine

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7 hours ago, Wack said:

I'm not paying £2.90 to look at her body in a tight dress

Hmmm now I read that back it sound's quite good value for money :D

Sadly it's a full three quid to send a parcel now.

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