What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[dozeydustman]

On Idiot Driver UK's Facebook page today

 

[fordperv]

Just found a picture of my capri from a few years back at a show in the pedestrian area of hanley

 

It reminded me of the story behind it, the marshal looked and said "you are definately going there"

 

 

I was there for a good while then it became shop opening time, a real miserable bint opened up the shop and was all in a flap, went stomping up and down then went to the marshal who was close enough for us to hear and she said loudly "with that there (pointing) how are people supposed to get past with pushchairs" quick as a flash I shouted over "you sell dildos not rattles" everyone was in uproar with laughter, she was not impressed the Marshall told her that the capri was a sex icon, despite the look of the picture there was plenty of space to get by, I wanted to ask if I could borrow the mannequins to pose around the car but I thought how miserable she was that may be a bad idea, you would think working in a sex shop she would be happier

 

It's funny how these things bring a smile to your face years later

[Zelandeth]

This put a grin on my face!

 

Was surprised when they were able to look these up on the parts system...

 

Was even more surprised when this packet actually arrived along with the more standard service parts.

 

 

How many companies could find you a couple of lenses for the dashboard of a van that's not been made since 1995?

 

Never mind the fact that they treated me like royalty in their glossy dealership, despite my turning up in a crusty old van!

[tinribs]

[fordperv]

Saw an escort cosworth out in the rain

 

[chodweaver]

shite-cars-viz.jpg

Pmsl. Brilliant!

[Tamworthbay]

Just found a picture of my capri from a few years back at a show in the pedestrian area of hanley

It reminded me of the story behind it, the marshal looked and said "you are definately going there"

Photo249.jpg

I was there for a good while then it became shop opening time, a real miserable bint opened up the shop and was all in a flap, went stomping up and down then went to the marshal who was close enough for us to hear and she said loudly "with that there (pointing) how are people supposed to get past with pushchairs" quick as a flash I shouted over "you sell dildos not rattles" everyone was in uproar with laughter, she was not impressed the Marshall told her that the capri was a sex icon, despite the look of the picture there was plenty of space to get by, I wanted to ask if I could borrow the mannequins to pose around the car but I thought how miserable she was that may be a bad idea, you would think working in a sex shop she would be happier

It's funny how these things bring a smile to your face years later

A few years ago I was building and racing electric cars and was invited down to Prince Charles Eco festival on the Mall. We did runs up and down with Kryton off Red Dwarf doing the commentary. There were loads of stars there we mixed with and it was a great laugh (meeting Stirling Moss was a high point). At the time one of,our sponsors was King Dick tools and we had a big king dick sticker on the side. The whole event was sponsored by Siemens and you had to have one of their stickers somewhere to be involved. It was only after the event when I was showing a mate the pics that He clocked we had put the Siemens sticker right under the king dick one so it read King Dick Siemens. It was a genuine accident but still makes me laugh that all these stars and members of royalty walked past it looking like that. The owner of King Dick is an bike racer (The king of Mallory in case anyone knows him) and thought it was brilliant. I will try and dig the pics out.

[oldcars]

My new phone! My first brand new device in about 5 years! Grateful to my mate for giving me his year old phones and all, but shiney shiney! Bloody slippery though, the case came after I left for the day...

What did you get?

[beko1987]

What did you get?

A who are we p20 Pro. It is teh secks!

[Pillock]

A who are we p20 Pro. It is teh secks!

"wah wey"

[Bren]

Wife went into pet store which also sells to farms. She saw "training treats" - salmon, venison, rabbit.

 

At first she did'nt realise these were the flavours - she wondered how you would train a salmon.

[fordperv]

This made me laugh

They sent this

 

To pick that up

[Cavcraft]

Been on a legit work's do tonight. What a night, though need a few more drinks tbh

[wuvvum]

This made me laugh

They sent this

20180810_185647.jpg

To pick that up

20180810_185700.jpg

I can beat that.

 

[oldcars]

Mate got is Nissan serviced. He got a nice wee video of it and the mechanic says it passed its health check, and body check etc.

Got me thinking if i put the Shuma into Kia

 

"Hello, my name is Alex and we have health checked your Ce'ed, sorry Rio, sorry Kia thing. We are pleased to say we have noted the half a ton of filler on the rear arches, the galloping rot on the front subframe, and the slight hesitation at 2000 rpm. But we please to say it passed the health check"

[Simonsays]

Courier has just dropped off a parcel containing a second hand 3/8" snap on breaker bar. It came with a nice handwritten note and this free gift. A pre-shrunk 1/4" baby breaker bar.

 

Not mentioned in the advert, just a nice thought by someone.

[somewhatfoolish]

Ideal for Borrowers.

[beko1987]

Ideal for using as a spinney screwdriver on small bolts once their cracked off, I have a similar but much shitter thing in my toolbox!

[Talbot]

Amusing things to do when you're bored #326:

 

When at a venue or business who don't offer free wifi, set your phone to portable wifi hotspot, with the ssid as "[venue name] free WiFi" and watch the staff get increasingly annoyed as everyone keeps asking for the password for their WiFi.

[hairnet]

Just found a picture of my capri from a few years back at a show in the pedestrian area of hanley

 

It reminded me of the story behind it, the marshal looked and said "you are definately going there"

 

Photo249.jpg

 

I was there for a good while then it became shop opening time, a real miserable bint opened up the shop and was all in a flap, went stomping up and down then went to the marshal who was close enough for us to hear and she said loudly "with that there (pointing) how are people supposed to get past with pushchairs" quick as a flash I shouted over "you sell dildos not rattles" everyone was in uproar with laughter, she was not impressed the Marshall told her that the capri was a sex icon, despite the look of the picture there was plenty of space to get by, I wanted to ask if I could borrow the mannequins to pose around the car but I thought how miserable she was that may be a bad idea, you would think working in a sex shop she would be happier

 

It's funny how these things bring a smile to your face years later

stuno at your age you shouldnt like that

[hairnet]

Mate got is Nissan serviced. He got a nice wee video of it and the mechanic says it passed its health check, and body check etc.

Got me thinking if i put the Shuma into Kia

 

"Hello, my name is Alex and we have health checked your Ce'ed, sorry Rio, sorry Kia thing. We are pleased to say we have noted the half a ton of filler on the rear arches, the galloping rot on the front subframe, and the slight hesitation at 2000 rpm. But we please to say it passed the health check"

bucketeer got a new job

 

kia thing hehe

[Cavcraft]

Someone selling a cycle on eBay, and I asked them what size frame it is.

 

'i don't know...its big enough'

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Someone selling a cycle on eBay, and I asked them what size frame it is.

 

'i don't know...its big enough'

 

*facepalm*

[cobblers]

Got a load of old routers? go to a festival somewhere with no or shitty wifi, set them all up with "free wifi phone xxxx number" the XXX number is someone you do not like.

 

I flashed some custom software on an old router last year, and found ouy you could set up an unlimited amount of network IDs. 

Our neighbours at the time were absolute scumbags who thrashed their kids, were benefit cheats, stank so bad we could smell them through the walls. Anyway in between reporting them to social care and DWP, 

I created 50/60 identical networks with the same "TALKTALK 2343" SSID as theirs, all with a random password. 

[fordperv]

On the way back from work we stopped at a shop we don't usually stop at for pop and mrs fp dotted in, she was in her work uniform, she came out smiling with a small rose bush in a pot, I laughed and commented she only went in for pop. She then told me about the lady in the shop, she looked at mrs fp checked out her name badge and said "your a carer aren't you" she then asked mrs fp to please take one of the roses in pots that were for sale, she explained to mrs fp that her mum had to have carers at the end of her life, she thinks carers are fantastic people and its a job she thinks is under appreciated with no recognition so as a thank you gives a gesture to carers she meets to show her appreciation, I thought what an absolutely fantastic woman

[Craig the Princess]

 

My little boy is a two bucket wrong 'un.

[HillmanImp]

Born August 1976: Dumfries, Scotland

Lost Virginity June 1991, Sussex, England

First tried Buckfast, August 2018, Yorkshire, England.

 

 

See you all on the other side.

 

[r.welfare]

Have you taken your watch off to time it's effects?

[The Moog]

Looking forward to the ramblings later

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Born August 1976: Dumfries, Scotland

Lost Virginity June 1991, Sussex, England

First tried Buckfast, August 2018, Yorkshire, England.

 

Buckfast.jpg

 

See you all on the other side.

 

Wreck th' hoose juice