What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[sierraman]

While I had some time spare yesterday I thought I’d tidy the Focus up a bit. Looked for some replacement centre caps for the alloys but on eBay they wanted some crazy money. Fuck that I thought. Had some spare Ford Silver paint so flagged them back and gave them a coat of paint. Looks OK I think!

[dollywobbler]

More madness at the Internal Fire museum. Brilliant.

https://www.facebook.com/ifmop/videos/353543148837419/ 

[barefoot]

Dropped the Renault off at the Renner specialist and set off to walk the mile down to the Porsche garage to collect the 944.

One of the Indian guys from the car wash crossed the road and fell in step behind me, after a while he shouted,

'Oy mate, are you all right? you've got no shoes on, follow me, we've got some you can have'.

 

You're all right, I'm just collecting my Porsche, didn't seem to be quite the correct response, 

So I confirmed that I was fine and thanked him for his kindness.

[320touring]

That's good to hear!

 

Sometimes just asking can make a difference

[djb222]

[busmansholiday]

Whenever we go out for a few days in the camper it rains.

 

This time I brought some suitable reading material.

 

[I_am_Diesel]

For the first time in it’s 16 years existence my Vespa is now fully road legal.

[hairnet]

insurance renewal 620 (paying 400)

 

found a per mile thing via axa

 

200 quid + mileage (which wont be a lot)

 

woop woop

 

fuck you quote me happy

[anonymous user]

Volume 1.

 

 

 

Of 60.

And already awaiting revision

[Mally]

IMG_20190402_090550.jpg

 

Just got to get a bottle of coolant and I'm nearly ready to go now

 

My bits should arrive Wednesday.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Car passed its MOT yesterday at 10.30AM.  The garage remarked on how good the emissions results were - which bodes well, given that it's 14 years old and diesel...

[Mally]

Out of the blue I am deligated to take an engine to Preston ish in the morning.

On my car connected trips I used to take my late wife for an overnight stay (just drop this off love whilst we are here).

On my own now, but nothing else to do so.

Travelodge, Blackpool football club, where we used to stay. £46 pay for parking.

Late Rooms, Lyndene, just round the corner and on the prom, £25 inc breakfast, free parking if you are lucky.

So Lyndene it is then, been before years ago when it was 2 B and B's knocked together. Its a full row now.

May be on the Grumpy thread tomorrow if it's crap.

[Dippy]

I dont normally fix moderns but for a saving of £300 I decided to fit new discs and pads on the wifes mini.

Job was a piece of piss compared to working on pre 80s stuff, so saved £300 for ½ a days work and got some brownie points from other half.

 

I bet the main dealer would have done them in less than ½ the time it took me and made a fortune.

[w00dy]

 

Fresh ticket for the Jazz. New wheel bearing needed for the rear. Quoted £200 so I was worried it'd be a difficult job, but it's a bolt in part that cost £68 and took 45 minutes to fit, so that's nice. Also needed wiper blades and a bulb so all done for £80. It was even good enough to leave the check engine light off for both the test and re-test thankfully. If only it were a bit more comfortable it'd be the perfect shite accompaniment.

[Springer]

    A conversation with a car seller on FB in the past hour. Not what I was looking for but a rather tasty looking 105k mile Jag XF with fsh came up for sale. Decided*I could make it work for me so messaged the seller.

 

I asked the seller how long he'd owned it and where it had been serviced.

 

Reply. 'Like two months ago in a garage in Aberdeen, not sure what its called'. 'Drives fine had it 6 months'.

 

I replied with many thanks but I'm out.

 

Reply, 'Well you go have a good day cos I'm sure I serviced it.

 

What a fecking halfwit....I pity the fool that buys that. Pics taken in a nice area of Aberdeen.....I bet the car isn't for sale there  

 

Edit.....turns out the seller resides in Latvia, must have been a quick weekend trip to Aberdeen. 

[reb]

I was sitting in my car outside work enjoying the nice weather today when an older lady came up to my window and complimented the Volvo, asking about its mileage and stuff, she told me her and her husband have just bought a 10 year old v70 because nothing else has come close to replacing their old 940. Makes a nice change from "is that a t5 bruv?"

 

Sent from my SM-N960F using Tapatalk

[Jim Bell]

[loserone]

What have you bought now?

[Jim Bell]

What have you bought now?

Nothing. But I can now quote the pic when necessary.

[Wack]

Left for work this morning, this is the guy at the bottom of the streets van , I assumed it had been dropped by a recovery truck but it's gone tonight and a merc main dealer courtesy van is there so now I'm wondering if he drove it home

[MikeR]

I saw a posh Mercs have a similar rear tyre failure on the M57 ...

 

poor woman in all her power work gear was looking at a wrecked tyre , torn out arch liner etc ...

 

I think a tow truck was in her future ......

 

meanwhile today at the go juice station , a nice posh disco in front of me .....

 

Aintree race going dolly bird filling the tank in all her fancy clothes ...in the pissing rain and wind !!

 

once the tank is full , the drivers window winds down

 

and the bloke driving hands her the card to pay .......         nice !

[omegod]

Gentleman I shall now selflessly make you grin at my expense

 

I had hernia surgery 6 months ago

 

I has sore nether regions and needed to see GP today

 

! went straight from work and didn't have time to head home to "freshen up" so had a courtesy quick squirt of deodorant down the  gruds just in case mind, i'm not stinky or owt, just wanted to be nice n fresh

 

When lying on examination bed I rolls down undies, at the very pretty Hungarian GP lady's request ,Omegod notices big white shiny marks left by deodorant on undies

 

GP smirks

 

Omegod cringes  

[Wack]

Just noticed EXTRAS is on Netflix so I've binged 4 episodes tonight , I haven't laughed so much in a long time

[omegod]

Just noticed EXTRAS is on Netflix so I've binged 4 episodes tonight , I haven't laughed so much in a long time

 

If you haven't I recommend afterlife,a masterpiece in my opinion 

[wuvvum]

I've started watching After Life in the last few days.

 

"I'm not a paedo, and if I was, you'd be safe you tubby little ginger cunt."

 

Brilliant.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Gentleman I shall now selflessly make you grin at my expense

 

I had hernia surgery 6 months ago

 

I has sore nether regions and needed to see GP today

 

! went straight from work and didn't have time to head home to "freshen up" so had a courtesy quick squirt of deodorant down the  gruds just in case mind, i'm not stinky or owt, just wanted to be nice n fresh

 

When lying on examination bed I rolls down undies, at the very pretty Hungarian GP lady's request ,Omegod notices big white shiny marks left by deodorant on undies

 

GP smirks

 

Omegod cringes

 

This reminds me of a story a lady of my acquaintance tells:

 

Just before a routine smear test , she visits toilet and there's no paper, but that's OK she has tissue in her bag.

During the test , the medical practitioner pauses and says " Oh, that's unusual!"

Causing great consternation on the part of the lady, obviously.

Then a pair of tweezers are used to hold up....

 

 

A First Class stamp!

[bangernomics]

^^ Darwin Award contender.

Just about to type that.

[barefoot]

I've just seen another Vel Satis coming the other way, the first in 18 months.

 

Obviously I was driving my Scirocco.

[dean36014]

I'm not a Ricky Gervais fan but decided to give After life a go. I binge watched the whole series and hadn't laughed so much in ages. Apparently Netflix have given the green light to a second series.

[barefoot]

Added to ignore list ^^^^^