The grumpy thread

[mercedade]

On 10/06/2023 at 14:10, dozeydustman said:

I thought I’d give the Saab its well overdue oil change.

Sump plug has other ideas. Gonna leave it 15 mins to cool down and retry, but even 6-point sockets are slipping on the drain plug. May have to invest in a Pela.

Thought I’d do the air filter anyway. Can I find my torx screwdriver set? Can I bollocks.

Hopefully I can go back after some fish in sauce on toast and it’s cooled enough to at least let me crack off the sump plug.

Fuck me, I thought it was just me!

Had exactly the same issue on mine yesterday, and that's been serviced annually for 12 years by the same place. In the end, I had a massive sulk, mangled it off with an Irwin bolt extractor and after the oil change replaced it using some stilsons (yes I'm a fucking redneck deep down).

Have sheepishly ordered a replacement sump plug today

[barefoot]

On 6/11/2023 at 9:40 AM, barefoot said:

We're walking up to Download Festival this afternoon, face book reveals that they sold out of draught beer and cider yesterday and were selling cans for SEVEN fucking quid a pop. This year will be my last.

Think £7 for a drink was bad, how about a large Yorkshire pudding filled with sausages, chips & gravy for £15.50? Or a pizza which came in a 10/12 inch box and when opened revealed a 7 inch Asda style microwave pizza for about £12? I realise these vendors have to make their money,  but the price for a pitch must be astronomical. At least the pedestrian entrance was back where it should be by Coppice Corner. Last year we had to walk down through the car park, right down to the bottom of the hill where the entrance led us across the track at McLaine's before we had to trudge all the way back up the fucking hill, cross the track again to emerge by the exhibition centre where the arena entrance was.  Highlights included Slipknot, a young woman wearing a fishnet top with crosses of black insulating tape covering her nipples and a particularly cool looking young man wearing leopard skin leggings,  a slash sleeve T shirt and a head band. He stopped directly in front of us, put four paper pint pots of Red bull down on the ground, tousled his hair, phoned some people, tousled his hair some more before turning round & kicking over two of his drinks.

Bearing in mind that I've had to buy a smartphone to put my £110 day ticket on, and can only take in an A4 sized bag with no alcohol, my days of visiting the festival on my doorstep are over.

[dozeydustman]

11 minutes ago, mercedade said:

Fuck me, I thought it was just me!

Had exactly the same issue on mine yesterday, and that's been serviced annually for 12 years by the same place. In the end, I had a massive sulk, mangled it off with an Irwin bolt extractor and after the oil change replaced it using some stilsons (yes I'm a fucking redneck deep down).

Have sheepishly ordered a replacement sump plug today

I’ve ordered a Pela-style extraction pump to shove down the dipstick hole. Once that’s arrived I’ll do the change. What is annoying is I’ll still have to jack the car up to get to the filter, as that’s buried somewhere in the engine bay.

[sheffcortinacentre]

Was told at Newark jumble by one of the burger vans that he has to clear two grand to break even .

[Timewaster]

On 13/06/2023 at 12:10, LoftyvRS said:

heard that noise before. Mate of mine bought a BAM 225 TT (03 plate) a while back, as a precaution we dropped the sump, fitted a new strainer, oil filter etc, and used the right Quantum oil from TPS to refill it.

Did a trackday at Donington, got half way through the morning and the same oil warning a death rattle. Limped back to the pits assuming it was fucked and went and had dinner before deciding what to do.

Bugger me after an hour with the bonnet open and things cooled down, we fired it up, bit of lifter rattle and then it went quiet, oil light off etc. Drove it home and sold it the week later.

@paulplom exactly who did you buy this TT from?!

[Lankytim]

This week at work I was given the keys to a truck to take to take out on a run, when doing my checks I found a severely bent wheel rim, the tyre was just about holding air. I filled out a defect sheet and found it had already been defected earlier in the day but the office had decided to book it out on another run as they were short of trucks! The rim has been half hammered back into shape and the vehicle has been out a few days this week with its bent wheel. 
 

When I spoke to the manager in charge of this stuff I just got the brush off. “How are we meant to know if nobody tells us” I thought that’s what the defect book was for….

Ive had this issue at other places I’ve worked at. 9/10 drivers won’t take a vehicle out as it’s got a dangerous fault but the last driver will… so out it goes.

[AndyIggs]

On 6/13/2023 at 8:13 AM, paulplom said:

Pulled up at some traffic lights and noticed the oil warning graphic was animated. Turned my radio down and heard the death rattle. I'd just been caning it with tunes blasting. I'm not sure how long the oil light was on.

Drop the sump and check your oil pickup pipe, it'll potentially be blocked, very common issue on these and easy to sort too.

[High Jetter]

Awks. Reject and be a pain, or go with but illegal?

[RoverFolkUs]

On 6/10/2023 at 2:10 PM, dozeydustman said:

I thought I’d give the Saab its well overdue oil change.

Sump plug has other ideas. Gonna leave it 15 mins to cool down and retry, but even 6-point sockets are slipping on the drain plug. May have to invest in a Pela.

Thought I’d do the air filter anyway. Can I find my torx screwdriver set? Can I bollocks.

Hopefully I can go back after some fish in sauce on toast and it’s cooled enough to at least let me crack off the sump plug.

For future reference, get a socket on the sump plug with a ratchet or knuckle bar at least 30cm or so in length and give it a sharp whack to undo. 

Sump plugs are usually tight but then suddenly give way. Usually results in smashed knuckles. Unless you try the method above which prevents that! 

If you apply gradual torque to undo then you risk rounding it off unless you're standing directly underneath as opposed to laying on the ground with the car on jack stands or whatever

[Metal Guru]

Driven halfway across Scotland on Sunday averaged about 30mph after leaving the M9 Stirling through to Fort William. F@cking camper vans! Every other vehicle seems to be one.
I get classic VWs are tragically slow and T25s aren’t much better but if you’ve got a T5 with TDi  there’s no excuse to trundle round at 40mph.

At least they’re no bigger than cars, a bigger problem are people hiring something the size of a small bus when the biggest thing they’re ever driven is a Micra.  They can’t judge the width so almost stop on tight corner, take up four parking spaces and don’t even mention reverse. Then you get convoys of them so no one can overtake.

Seriously there should be an additional test for these. As for anyone owning any sort of camper van, slap a £1000 road tax on them, just to deter any more coming into the roads.

[MikeR]

It rained a lot last night and ....

This happened ..

Turns out the aerial base leaked 

Filled up the curiosity light and then dropped down into the rubbish holder  ..

No sealing gasket on the aerial base, just a plastic base that flexed  ,now filled with goo and tightened down ..

[cobblers]

12 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

Driven halfway across Scotland on Sunday averaged about 30mph after leaving the M9 Stirling through to Fort William. F@cking camper vans! Every other vehicle seems to be one.
I get classic VWs are tragically slow and T25s aren’t much better but if you’ve got a T5 with TDi  there’s no excuse to trundle round at 40mph.

At least they’re no bigger than cars, a bigger problem are people hiring something the size of a small bus when the biggest thing they’re ever driven is a Micra.  They can’t judge the width so almost stop on tight corner, take up four parking spaces and don’t even mention reverse. Then you get convoys of them so no one can overtake.

Seriously there should be an additional test for these. As for anyone owning any sort of camper van, slap a £1000 road tax on them, just to deter any more coming into the roads.

I'm usually the bloke in a T25 doing 6 car overtakes on my way home from work because the peak district is full of people who daren't go above 40mph.

I'm with you on the big coachbuilts that people hire, they're an absolute menace. 

[Pieman]

In Poland over the weekend with a colleague, hired a Kia crossover of some sort to get around in.  All went well until on a fairly rural road we happened upon a section of road where a muck spreader had clearly had a major malfunction, and for what must have been at least half a mile the road was fucking covered in farmyard shit!  My colleague managed to rally-drive through it without incident, but it was only when we stopped later on that we realised that the wheel arches and underside were pretty much coated in the stuff, and it fucking STANK.  Sadly we had no time to find a jetwash before we returned the car to the airport that evening - if the person from Europcar at Poznan airport who picked up that car happens to be reading this, we are extremely sorry and we hope you didn't lose your dinner on encountering one of the worst things I have ever smelled in my life!

[artdjones]

I changed the gearbox oil on the Megane today as I had access to a lift Motul DCTF as it's a dual clutch auto.  I had a nice long piece of tubing that was a perfect fit for the pull out nozzle on the bottle so I could fill it up. The only problem was that the nozzle on both bottles had gone brittle where it narrowed down into the circular section. Thanks a lot, Motul. Oil on the floor again. 

[Noel Tidybeard]

just had the cat put to sleep

r.i.p Sid

[jakebullet]

Been chopping the bastard privet. Thanks to 15 years of who gives a fuck? from the housing association tenants next door the fucker is 6 foot wide and 15 foot high in places.

So I have a lot of bastard privet.  Ma goes and fetches idiot's dog, which likes biting things. Ma, don't let it bite the privet, for all we know it's poisonous. It's only playing! ~googles~ big surprise, it is poisonous. So have to wait and see if it's got a big dose and is dead in the morning, or a small dose and is shitting for England.

[RoverFolkUs]

This is a sad

Focus went through a flood this morning, it's hydrolocked and absolutely dead. 

It wasn't even very deep water

It's curtains

RIP 😞

[High Jetter]

With that and the Insight out, you're not having a lot of luck. Anything incoming?

 

*See what I did there?

[RoverFolkUs]

6 minutes ago, High Jetter said:

With that and the Insight out, you're not having a lot of luck. Anything incoming?

 

*See what I did there?

You're confusing me with @Rust Collector.

Anyway, we're colluding as the sussex shiter vehicle killers 🤣

[High Jetter]

Oops yes, tis confusing for an old codger like me!

[Rust Collector]

57 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

You're confusing me with @Rust Collector.

Anyway, we're colluding as the sussex shiter vehicle killers 🤣

I can't wait* to find out what we're going to destroy next! 🤣

[RoverFolkUs]

6 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

This is a sad

Focus went through a flood this morning, it's hydrolocked and absolutely dead. 

It wasn't even very deep water

It's curtains

RIP 😞

Jesus fucking christ

I've done a good job of it and bent at least 2 conrods 🤣🤣

For those of you who don't know what you're looking at, cylinder 1 + 4 should be equal and cylinder 2+3 should be equal. 

Look at the tape line on the stick and look at the difference between 1+4 and 2+3 🤣

[cobblers]

19 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Jesus fucking christ

I've done a good job of it and bent at least 2 conrods 🤣🤣

 

Maybe I'm guilty of trying to find the tasty bit of a dogshit sandwich, but at least you are 100% nailed on sure that it's fucked and won't waste money and time trying to fix it to have it bite your arse!

[twosmoke300]

Good going hydrolocking a petrol - were you wide open throttle?

🤣

[RoverFolkUs]

1 minute ago, cobblers said:

Maybe I'm guilty of trying to find the tasty bit of a dogshit sandwich, but at least you are 100% nailed on sure that it's fucked and won't waste money and time trying to fix it to have it bite your arse!

Yes that's very true

I've gone against what you should do and just put it in 4th gear rocking it forwards and back to try to free things up for shits and giggles. It will spin over when it wants to but just locks up again. 

I'm sort of thinking of doing an Autoshite engine rebuild, spoke to the friendly machine shop who said they probably have a few second hand piston assemblies lying around for an old Duratec, and it might make interesting reading for the viewers of this parish if nothing else. 

Considering the prices of second hand cars, I'd guess I could probably get it back up and running for £3-4-500 ish which is significantly less than another car to replace it. 

I think it could just about be worth a repair but it depends on how much time I want to put into it 

The natural thing to do would be a second hand engine but they're a complete unknown quantity so I'd rather rebuilt this one myself if I can. 

Totally bonkers, but this is Autoshite and that's the spirit here! 

13 minutes ago, twosmoke300 said:

Good going hydrolocking a petrol - were you wide open throttle?

🤣

I got it confused with the amphibious variety I've got locked away in a barn "worth a fortune m9" 🤣

[MrGTI6]

46 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Jesus fucking christ

I've done a good job of it and bent at least 2 conrods 🤣🤣

For those of you who don't know what you're looking at, cylinder 1 + 4 should be equal and cylinder 2+3 should be equal. 

Look at the tape line on the stick and look at the difference between 1+4 and 2+3 🤣

Oh no!!! If it's any consolation, I don't think you were the only one to do that this morning. Got to be worth sorting it for a few hundred quid. As you say, that won't buy you a lot these days if you were to replace it. 

Lots of flooded roads round my way too this morning. I've had the 306 for years so know that the intake is very high (seems to be a French thing!). Really pushed my luck today though! 

I had to go into the deepest part to get round a stranded Mitsubishi Outlander, at which point the water was coming up over the front of the bonnet. The fan belt started screeching, the battery light came on and the power steering went. The exhaust was spluttering where it was completely submerged. I thought I'd finally killed it!

Got out the other side unscathed by some miracle, just as the police were shutting the road! 

[Rust Collector]

10 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

The natural thing to do would be a second hand engine but they're a complete unknown quantity so I'd rather rebuilt this one myself if I can. 

That's part of the excitement mate. Nothing beats the suspense of that first fire up of a £50 motor which someone had lying in their garden for a few years... Will that death rattle go away? Will the smoke clear up? Should I have just spent the £100 on bus tickets? Only one way to find out!

[sdkrc]

@RoverFolkUs, will we see you in a Rufford Ford YouTube compilation any time soon?

 

[Eyersey1234]

55 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Jesus fucking christ

I've done a good job of it and bent at least 2 conrods 🤣🤣

For those of you who don't know what you're looking at, cylinder 1 + 4 should be equal and cylinder 2+3 should be equal. 

Look at the tape line on the stick and look at the difference between 1+4 and 2+3 🤣

Is it Focus 1 or Focus 2 that has died?

[RoverFolkUs]

3 minutes ago, sdkrc said:

@RoverFolkUs, will we see you in a Rufford Ford YouTube compilation any time soon?

 

I hope not 🤣

It was only a little above kerb height but I think it splashed just enough in to fuck it 

2 minutes ago, Eyersey1234 said:

Is it Focus 1 or Focus 2 that has died?

Focus 2. It's a GHIA as well, not that any of the equipment is much use now!