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Posted

Alas, I am a network technician.

 

This means I do not have admin rights on PCs to make any kind of changes to them. That's the job of the Desktop team.

 

 

 

 

Yes, internal politics exist even in IT! Desktop keep fucking about with our admin privileges and end up ruining our ability to do our jobs!

 

(also how huge would a 10-hour .wav file be?!)

Posted
  On 10/07/2018 at 15:34, Supernaut said:

Alas, I am a network technician.

 

This means I do not have admin rights on PCs to make any kind of changes to them. That's the job of the Desktop team.

 

 

 

 

Yes, internal politics exist even in IT! Desktop keep fucking about with our admin privileges and end up ruining our ability to do our jobs!

 

(also how huge would a 10-hour .wav file be?!)

Sorry, chief

 

#securitywanker

  • Like 2
Posted
  On 10/07/2018 at 15:51, Kiltox said:

Sorry, chief

 

#securitywanker

Cyber Essentials, woo!

 

Yup, my employer is going for that. Lots of changes have been happening the past few months.

Guest Hooli
Posted
  On 10/07/2018 at 13:39, Supernaut said:

Fucking work can fuck off, and so can cunting service desk.

 

I need suggestions for new jobs that aren't IT support. It's the same thankless shit day-in, day-out. It feels like everything is on repeat.

 

Service Desk here aren't helping either. A few weeks ago they got 'service desk accreditation' whatever the fuck that is. From everybody else's perspective it just seemed like they stopped doing their jobs for a fortnight in favour of attending some stupid seminars from a snake-oil salesman. Now they're back at their jobs they seem to have forgotten how to do it. They have calls sitting and sitting for days on end until the user is suitably pissed off, before they drop it like a hot potato in 2nd line's (i.e. my) lap like "ooh, not our problem!"

Now their latest trick is to add condescending comments into support calls when escalating them up the chain. Example; a call comes in about patchy wifi signal (a-fucking-gain, refer to the same shit day-in day-out comment above). The most idiotic, slowest, most pathetic waste of skin on service desk goes and adds a snarky comment to the call before passing it through "Can Network Team investigate the wifi signal in the area please."

OH THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA. I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT, HAVING BEEN A NETWORK TECHNICIAN FOR FOUR FUCKING YEARS. I was planning on going over there with a stick coated in goat entrails and waving it around while chanting. Glad you saved my arse there. Thanks for that, cunt-face!

 

 

 

*smashes stuff*

 

That is exactly how my place operates too. With the added bonus of a helpdesk manager who's got less IT skills than a boiled cabbage who backs them up as if they are doing a good job!

 

I have a new rule, I bounce the call back twice asking them to do their job & then it gets left in the queue with a note saying 'unable to progress as service desk refuse to do their job'. Seems to work as after a while it gets escalated far enough for a manager to scream, read the notes & go 'oh'.

  • Like 3
Posted
  On 10/07/2018 at 15:12, Parky said:

Had to do a task. A tedious task which took weeks. Lots of data crunching and list building prior to running a campaign. Pointed out it was tedious and would take weeks and was told that nobody else was available to do it and it was important. So I did the decent thing, rolled up my sleeves, got stuck in and got it done.

Just been bollocked for doing the thing that nobody else was available to do but was important to get done.

And that ladies and gentlemen is how to get your staff to respond positively to approaches from headhunters...

When I worked for O2 as a project manager, I had a situation arise with a huge and very difficult customer which meant I had to take matters into my own hands and go on the tools for a day to cable out a new office, there was no other answer.

My manager thanked me for everything I had done, but told me that if anything went wrong, I would have to be disciplined.

I think it was then I decided to leave O2.

Posted
  On 06/07/2018 at 16:53, dozeydustman said:

I really don't understand what is wrong with my family? My parents are on holiday and asked if we can pop up and see my grandmother while they're away. We only had 1 day over the 3 weeks where we could get up to Kent, put it on the calendar as it's also my brother's birthday.

 

Aunt has booked my nan all day carers for Sunday who won't let any guests in, and it's my fault as she didn't know (even though it's on mine, my mum & dad's, my brother's and my nan's calendars).

 

 

After my rant about my family on Friday, poor old nan has had 3 falls, taken to a&e this morning after a 4th fall and knocked herself out. Although not in intensive care, has been transferred to a private room pending respite care. If she wakes up.

 

I knew I should have just told my family "bollocks to the carers, I'm going to see my nan". I only get to see her once a month, and as I've not been up to Kent since mid-May, I missed my June visit. I'm really hoping I've not missed my last chance to see her. Shame as her mind was still relatively pin-sharp, her body is what was falling to bits.

Posted

All best AS wishes to your nan, Dozey.

  • Like 1
Posted
  On 10/07/2018 at 17:56, chaseracer said:

All best AS wishes to your nan, Dozey.

 

 

Thank you Mr Chase, things not helped by the row with the wife last Friday plus a work colleague's funeral on Thursday (poor lad was 17 and got knocked off his bike - hit & run), it's put a sad end to a couple of weeks worth of epic win involving cheese & port. Both of which have also run out.

Posted

Alas, it's not just IT. I could do up several pages complaining about the [redacted infrastructure project] I'm working on, but today's is:

 

There was a public consultation earlier this year. The 'stakeholder engagement' specialists took two months to copy and paste each individual response or question into a table (A single massive bastard table in a Word document mind, just to make sure you can't do anything useful like filter or sort it). There was then a month of 'triage' which appears to mean going through it and writing comments like 'this is actually 14 separate issues, can you split them out?' without actually doing anything about it.

 

I then got emailed yesterday with a 'Hi angle, we need you to provide a response to each of the issues in this 97 page section by this time next week, is that OK?'

 

According to my director, 'NO IT PISSING WELL ISN'T' isn't an acceptable response, I have to do it, and I can't claim more than three days or any overtime as then we'll be over budget. Fine, in that case I'm going to get RSI copying and pasting 'this will be considered in detail at a later stage'...

  • Like 2
Posted

Good mate of mine had a stroke last week.  Seems he's recovering very well but that was a bit of a surprise...

Posted
  On 09/07/2018 at 21:32, DodgeRover said:

Two ready meals from anarchy

Sounds like a great name for a band

Posted
  On 10/07/2018 at 18:14, angle said:

Alas, it's not just IT. I could do up several pages complaining about the [redacted infrastructure project] I'm working on, but today's is:

 

There was a public consultation earlier this year. The 'stakeholder engagement' specialists took two months to copy and paste each individual response or question into a table (A single massive bastard table in a Word document mind, just to make sure you can't do anything useful like filter or sort it). There was then a month of 'triage' which appears to mean going through it and writing comments like 'this is actually 14 separate issues, can you split them out?' without actually doing anything about it.

 

I then got emailed yesterday with a 'Hi angle, we need you to provide a response to each of the issues in this 97 page section by this time next week, is that OK?'

 

According to my director, 'NO IT PISSING WELL ISN'T' isn't an acceptable response, I have to do it, and I can't claim more than three days or any overtime as then we'll be over budget. Fine, in that case I'm going to get RSI copying and pasting 'this will be considered in detail at a later stage'...

Macros are made for repetitive tasks such as this...

Posted

Minor (thankfully) grumps from me, but grumps all the same.

 

1. My last "smart" phone has decided it's screen doesn't want to work anymore. Not only that but at the very time I really needed it which leads me onto...

 

2. My Passport renewal, today, an attempted delovery was made, now despite me asking for non signature delivery where they promised to to just put it through the letter box if it fits. No, they used some bastard "sig needed" type delivery which I guess I can understand, but as my phones usefulness has fucked off I can call to change the delivery address, when I get home and plug in my trusty old Nokia E71 to get through to thier automated address delivery bit, thier robot doesn't recognise my works postcode, then it just isn't accept it, so I might have to wait another day or two before I can get my new passport.

 

So I now have no passport in my hands, and 4 "smart" phones with broken screens (2 × S3s, 1 S4 and some cheap small Samsung I bought ages ago). I know S3 screens are easy to change and I will change it on the one phone as Fatha_Sterling bought me the phone orignally so a bit of sentiment attached to it. The others though will be getting binned.

Posted

I went to my mum's house today. Since she died in May the insurance company company have changed the building and contents to an "unattended" policy but part of the deal is someone has to visit once a week.

 

Opened up. Tapped the alarm code in. Made a funny noise. "LOCK OUT". Won't arm again. This obviously invalidates the insurance, great.

 

Between googling and guessing, it seems the manitenance contract has expired. Paperwork found suggests this is indeed the case, it's been 54 weeks since it was serviced.

 

So the sneaky fuckers put a countdown timer on when they service it, if you don't have it serviced again it just stops working! In what fucking world is that OK?

 

Yes, you can have the countdown timer disabled. You need an engineer to do that. The engineer visit costs more than the service! Why? Direct quote "so people keep getting it serviced".

 

Next up, if you exceed your cars service intervals it explodes.... Oh wait, I had a Focus TDCI. Yup.

  • Like 3
Posted
  On 10/07/2018 at 18:18, GrumpiusMaximus said:

Good mate of mine had a stroke last week.  Seems he's recovering very well but that was a bit of a surprise...

 

Harsh. Hope he makes a full recovery.

 

How old was he, out of interest?

 

  On 10/07/2018 at 17:40, dozeydustman said:

After my rant about my family on Friday, poor old nan has had 3 falls, taken to a&e this morning after a 4th fall and knocked herself out. Although not in intensive care, has been transferred to a private room pending respite care. If she wakes up.

 

I knew I should have just told my family "bollocks to the carers, I'm going to see my nan". I only get to see her once a month, and as I've not been up to Kent since mid-May, I missed my June visit. I'm really hoping I've not missed my last chance to see her. Shame as her mind was still relatively pin-sharp, her body is what was falling to bits.

 

Very sad. Hope she comes round. My Grandma passed as I was on the motorway to go see her. She wasn't alone, but still wished I could have seen her one more time.

Posted

Physicists- program beeb 2 about time machines, ‘oh we will prove you can travel in time’ followed by an equation, that’s not prooving anything. Show be a full blown working fucking TARDIS and THAT is proof.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This could be why I did biochemistry not physics..........

Posted

You will never be able to travel in time, or someone would have come back and told us about it.

Posted
  On 10/07/2018 at 20:17, Richard said:

You will never be able to travel in time, or someone would have come back and told us about it.

post-20106-0-32565900-1531256040_thumb.jpeg

  • Like 8
Posted

Yeah but if you could travel back in time, who’d want to come back to now?

 

I would think most people would go for the following sort of thing:

 

The birth of Christ (I would take a nice wee teddy thus altering the bible forever)

The birth of Hitler (I would take him a Little Book of Calm thus altering history forever)

I would take a picture of the Alfa Romeo Guilia, write Austin Montego on it and slip it in Roy Axes briefcase (thus altering history forever)

In return I would get a picture of a Montego, write “der neue drei series” on it and slip it in Michelottis satchel (you get the idea now)

And maybe put several pairs of binoculars on the observation deck of the Titanic and tell the captain to knock the pace back a tad

 

Coming back to England 2018? Suppose there is the chance to see the Semi final.....

  • Like 3
Posted
  On 10/07/2018 at 20:17, Richard said:

You will never be able to travel in time, or someone would have come back and told us about it.

If you cross the International Date Line eastwards, are you not travelling back in time?

Posted

No I'd go back to 1973, you'd have twenty or so good years before the Blair era rot set in. If time travel were possible I'd give every penny I had to go back to the seventies.

  • Like 2
Posted

Fuck fuck fuck. P1109 fault code and limp home mode engaged.

What is it with my cars and Aberdeen?

Posted

I'm sure there's space to park it next to the other one. Should Bucketeer leave now or in the morning?

  • Like 2
Posted

10000 miles. No great issues but when Mrs FPB7 is in the car and it goes and does that on me. Bastard thing. Luckily I carry my code reader so I can clear it to carry on. That was until the car decided to throw a hissy fit about cheap Chinese electronicals probing it's circuits and threw up a vast array of random failures all at once. After cooling down a little over a haddock supper from mikes famous chip shop, I remembered to unplug it and normal(ish) service is resumed.

 

P1109 is the fault code for the dreaded swirl flaps. Balls.

 

(Yeah, still haven't got round to t lolling her about the green machine still).

  • Like 3
Posted

What's the latest with the green machine? I might be available to help if you're having a day of fixage at some point.

Posted
  On 10/07/2018 at 23:20, FPB7 said:

Fuck fuck fuck. P1109 fault code and limp home mode engaged.

What is it with my cars and Aberdeen?

Aberdeen's natural misery seeps into it's surroundings and leads to misfortune...

 

I am grumpy as my mobile phone died to death today.

 

post-19482-0-15062800-1531266958_thumb.jpg

post-19482-0-94508900-1531266967_thumb.jpg

 

RIP Samsung Galaxy S4, you had a rough 5 years...

 

Of course the actual phone giving up the ghost isn't really the problem, it's the issues resulting from it's FTP.

 

At the same time the phone died I received a thing through the letterbox telling me I need to accept another fucking court citation to be a witness at the case involving the burglary of my flat (ironically the court stuff is turning out to be far more of a hassle/expense than the actual crime was). Naturally I need to phone them to do this, new phone won't be here until the 13th.

 

I've purchased a new phone which is comparable to the old one but it requires a nano sim rather than the micro sim my old phone has, so I'll have to go to Vodafone to get one. I'll also have to transfer my number over and re-add all my contacts.

 

I had to buy a watch (Tesco's finest, cheapest) as I need a time keeping device for work.

 

I can't listen to podcasts to fall asleep to.

 

My only alarm clock is now a 1979 Waltham clock radio featuring questionable reliability.

 

Due to impromptu phone shopping before work this morning I had to postpone the Acclaim's oil change yet again.

 

Not having a functioning phone on me while I'm out of the flat gives me a creeping feeling of wrongness. It's part of the 3-pat check (keys, wallet, phone) and to have it missing is very discomforting.

Posted

Don't really know what you're moaning about, tbh. I just got ripped off by a ticket tout, wanted to see The Cure but he's sold me Placebo tickets.

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