The grumpy thread

43,813 · July 10, 2018

when I worked at Halfords we were told to destroy old bike frames, so one of the nobhead managers decided to drive over them.
We lined them all up, and he drove over the headset end of the frames, no bother.
Then he decided to have another go at them, higher speed. They all tangled up and ended up coving the door of his focus in.
good times.

Wouldn't cutting them in half with the grinder be easier??

21,715 · July 10, 2018

Had my renewal through for the Mazda...

£170 last year

£1176 for this year....

I think not Adrian Flux you charlatan robbing bastards! That's a 591% increase in premium. I look forward to hearing their excuses for this ridiculous rise!

give Lancaster a call, my mx5 renewal was £190 which they dropped to £170 when I called to 'discuss'

1,564 · July 10, 2018

Well I'm in Germany at the moment, a place called Herzogenaurach to be exact untill Friday and after a week in England I decided not to bother bringing a hat or coat or even a jacket.....................and guess what..............it's fucking pissing it down

27,998 · July 10, 2018

Wouldn't cutting them in half with the grinder be easier??

Easier isn't always more fun.

10,797 · July 10, 2018

Well I'm in Germany at the moment, a place called Herzogenaurach to be exact untill Friday and after a week in England I decided not to bother bringing a hat or coat or even a jacket.....................and guess what..............it's fucking pissing it down

Are you at Adidas?

I used to live up the road in Erlangen.

2,279 · July 10, 2018

Various life sucking etc...... stuff.

Feeling your pain bud..... just tied to take some cash out. Not a hope in hell.......

I've blocked a pension payment temporarily - last 3mths plus no longer use a certain 'provider' here for the last 7+ mths......

I budgeted for 6mths as my knee was toast - so ligaments etc.... all working their way back to OK.

Fuggera at the bank have paid all the blocked amounts.... so I'm almost 1K down, I then find (my fault I didn't think of it) that the annual water is sodding huge too......

Bike and Lada now up for instant folding. Job hunt stepped into overdrive.........

Best of luck with it dude.......

1,564 · July 10, 2018

Are you at Adidas?

I used to live up the road in Erlangen.

Yup, my wife is, I'm here for a change of scenery and gutmann beer.

Edit: and here for the match........England tee shirt on........didn't think we'd get this far.

28,041 · July 10, 2018

Fucking work can fuck off, and so can cunting service desk.

I need suggestions for new jobs that aren't IT support. It's the same thankless shit day-in, day-out. It feels like everything is on repeat.

Service Desk here aren't helping either. A few weeks ago they got 'service desk accreditation' whatever the fuck that is. From everybody else's perspective it just seemed like they stopped doing their jobs for a fortnight in favour of attending some stupid seminars from a snake-oil salesman. Now they're back at their jobs they seem to have forgotten how to do it. They have calls sitting and sitting for days on end until the user is suitably pissed off, before they drop it like a hot potato in 2nd line's (i.e. my) lap like "ooh, not our problem!"

Now their latest trick is to add condescending comments into support calls when escalating them up the chain. Example; a call comes in about patchy wifi signal (a-fucking-gain, refer to the same shit day-in day-out comment above). The most idiotic, slowest, most pathetic waste of skin on service desk goes and adds a snarky comment to the call before passing it through "Can Network Team investigate the wifi signal in the area please."

OH THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA. I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT, HAVING BEEN A NETWORK TECHNICIAN FOR FOUR FUCKING YEARS. I was planning on going over there with a stick coated in goat entrails and waving it around while chanting. Glad you saved my arse there. Thanks for that, cunt-face!

*smashes stuff*

40,629 · July 10, 2018

Liked your post because I feel your pain not because I like it

Imagine the same but with some man-child developers telling you they absolutely must have access to their personal email whilst connected to a bank’s network

17,126 · July 10, 2018

Had to do a task. A tedious task which took weeks. Lots of data crunching and list building prior to running a campaign. Pointed out it was tedious and would take weeks and was told that nobody else was available to do it and it was important. So I did the decent thing, rolled up my sleeves, got stuck in and got it done.

Just been bollocked for doing the thing that nobody else was available to do but was important to get done.

And that ladies and gentlemen is how to get your staff to respond positively to approaches from headhunters...

28,041 · July 10, 2018

Had to do a task. A tedious task which took weeks. Lots of data crunching and list building prior to running a campaign. Pointed out it was tedious and would take weeks and was told that nobody else was available to do it and it was important. So I did the decent thing, rolled up my sleeves, got stuck in and got it done.

Just been bollocked for doing the thing that nobody else was available to do but was important to get done.

And that ladies and gentlemen is how to get your staff to respond positively to approaches from headhunters...

I worked as a forklift driver at a steel merchants for a summer a few years back. I once got bollocked for doing a thing that needed done.

I then walked that afternoon leaving them sans forklift driver, the dicks. Walked into an agency the next day waving my forklift licences in their faces and got more work within the week.

28,041 · July 10, 2018

Alas, I am a network technician.

This means I do not have admin rights on PCs to make any kind of changes to them. That's the job of the Desktop team.

Yes, internal politics exist even in IT! Desktop keep fucking about with our admin privileges and end up ruining our ability to do our jobs!

(also how huge would a 10-hour .wav file be?!)

40,629 · July 10, 2018

Alas, I am a network technician.

This means I do not have admin rights on PCs to make any kind of changes to them. That's the job of the Desktop team.

Yes, internal politics exist even in IT! Desktop keep fucking about with our admin privileges and end up ruining our ability to do our jobs!

(also how huge would a 10-hour .wav file be?!)

Sorry, chief

#securitywanker

28,041 · July 10, 2018

Sorry, chief

#securitywanker

Cyber Essentials, woo!

Yup, my employer is going for that. Lots of changes have been happening the past few months.

July 10, 2018

Fucking work can fuck off, and so can cunting service desk.

I need suggestions for new jobs that aren't IT support. It's the same thankless shit day-in, day-out. It feels like everything is on repeat.

Service Desk here aren't helping either. A few weeks ago they got 'service desk accreditation' whatever the fuck that is. From everybody else's perspective it just seemed like they stopped doing their jobs for a fortnight in favour of attending some stupid seminars from a snake-oil salesman. Now they're back at their jobs they seem to have forgotten how to do it. They have calls sitting and sitting for days on end until the user is suitably pissed off, before they drop it like a hot potato in 2nd line's (i.e. my) lap like "ooh, not our problem!"
Now their latest trick is to add condescending comments into support calls when escalating them up the chain. Example; a call comes in about patchy wifi signal (a-fucking-gain, refer to the same shit day-in day-out comment above). The most idiotic, slowest, most pathetic waste of skin on service desk goes and adds a snarky comment to the call before passing it through "Can Network Team investigate the wifi signal in the area please."
OH THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA. I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT, HAVING BEEN A NETWORK TECHNICIAN FOR FOUR FUCKING YEARS. I was planning on going over there with a stick coated in goat entrails and waving it around while chanting. Glad you saved my arse there. Thanks for that, cunt-face!

*smashes stuff*

That is exactly how my place operates too. With the added bonus of a helpdesk manager who's got less IT skills than a boiled cabbage who backs them up as if they are doing a good job!

I have a new rule, I bounce the call back twice asking them to do their job & then it gets left in the queue with a note saying 'unable to progress as service desk refuse to do their job'. Seems to work as after a while it gets escalated far enough for a manager to scream, read the notes & go 'oh'.

July 10, 2018

Had to do a task. A tedious task which took weeks. Lots of data crunching and list building prior to running a campaign. Pointed out it was tedious and would take weeks and was told that nobody else was available to do it and it was important. So I did the decent thing, rolled up my sleeves, got stuck in and got it done.
Just been bollocked for doing the thing that nobody else was available to do but was important to get done.
And that ladies and gentlemen is how to get your staff to respond positively to approaches from headhunters...

When I worked for O2 as a project manager, I had a situation arise with a huge and very difficult customer which meant I had to take matters into my own hands and go on the tools for a day to cable out a new office, there was no other answer.

My manager thanked me for everything I had done, but told me that if anything went wrong, I would have to be disciplined.

I think it was then I decided to leave O2.

15,420 · July 10, 2018

I really don't understand what is wrong with my family? My parents are on holiday and asked if we can pop up and see my grandmother while they're away. We only had 1 day over the 3 weeks where we could get up to Kent, put it on the calendar as it's also my brother's birthday.

Aunt has booked my nan all day carers for Sunday who won't let any guests in, and it's my fault as she didn't know (even though it's on mine, my mum & dad's, my brother's and my nan's calendars).

After my rant about my family on Friday, poor old nan has had 3 falls, taken to a&e this morning after a 4th fall and knocked herself out. Although not in intensive care, has been transferred to a private room pending respite care. If she wakes up.

I knew I should have just told my family "bollocks to the carers, I'm going to see my nan". I only get to see her once a month, and as I've not been up to Kent since mid-May, I missed my June visit. I'm really hoping I've not missed my last chance to see her. Shame as her mind was still relatively pin-sharp, her body is what was falling to bits.

26,377 · July 10, 2018

All best AS wishes to your nan, Dozey.

15,420 · July 10, 2018

All best AS wishes to your nan, Dozey.

Thank you Mr Chase, things not helped by the row with the wife last Friday plus a work colleague's funeral on Thursday (poor lad was 17 and got knocked off his bike - hit & run), it's put a sad end to a couple of weeks worth of epic win involving cheese & port. Both of which have also run out.

8,488 · July 10, 2018

Alas, it's not just IT. I could do up several pages complaining about the [redacted infrastructure project] I'm working on, but today's is:

There was a public consultation earlier this year. The 'stakeholder engagement' specialists took two months to copy and paste each individual response or question into a table (A single massive bastard table in a Word document mind, just to make sure you can't do anything useful like filter or sort it). There was then a month of 'triage' which appears to mean going through it and writing comments like 'this is actually 14 separate issues, can you split them out?' without actually doing anything about it.

I then got emailed yesterday with a 'Hi angle, we need you to provide a response to each of the issues in this 97 page section by this time next week, is that OK?'

According to my director, 'NO IT PISSING WELL ISN'T' isn't an acceptable response, I have to do it, and I can't claim more than three days or any overtime as then we'll be over budget. Fine, in that case I'm going to get RSI copying and pasting 'this will be considered in detail at a later stage'...

18,909 · July 10, 2018

Good mate of mine had a stroke last week. Seems he's recovering very well but that was a bit of a surprise...

12,054 · July 10, 2018

Two ready meals from anarchy

Sounds like a great name for a band

14,537 · July 10, 2018

Alas, it's not just IT. I could do up several pages complaining about the [redacted infrastructure project] I'm working on, but today's is:

There was a public consultation earlier this year. The 'stakeholder engagement' specialists took two months to copy and paste each individual response or question into a table (A single massive bastard table in a Word document mind, just to make sure you can't do anything useful like filter or sort it). There was then a month of 'triage' which appears to mean going through it and writing comments like 'this is actually 14 separate issues, can you split them out?' without actually doing anything about it.

I then got emailed yesterday with a 'Hi angle, we need you to provide a response to each of the issues in this 97 page section by this time next week, is that OK?'

According to my director, 'NO IT PISSING WELL ISN'T' isn't an acceptable response, I have to do it, and I can't claim more than three days or any overtime as then we'll be over budget. Fine, in that case I'm going to get RSI copying and pasting 'this will be considered in detail at a later stage'...

Macros are made for repetitive tasks such as this...

66,655 · July 10, 2018

OK, we all know Paypal are cunts, but this really takes things to a whole nother level.

15,062 · July 10, 2018

Minor (thankfully) grumps from me, but grumps all the same.

1. My last "smart" phone has decided it's screen doesn't want to work anymore. Not only that but at the very time I really needed it which leads me onto...

2. My Passport renewal, today, an attempted delovery was made, now despite me asking for non signature delivery where they promised to to just put it through the letter box if it fits. No, they used some bastard "sig needed" type delivery which I guess I can understand, but as my phones usefulness has fucked off I can call to change the delivery address, when I get home and plug in my trusty old Nokia E71 to get through to thier automated address delivery bit, thier robot doesn't recognise my works postcode, then it just isn't accept it, so I might have to wait another day or two before I can get my new passport.

So I now have no passport in my hands, and 4 "smart" phones with broken screens (2 × S3s, 1 S4 and some cheap small Samsung I bought ages ago). I know S3 screens are easy to change and I will change it on the one phone as Fatha_Sterling bought me the phone orignally so a bit of sentiment attached to it. The others though will be getting binned.

27,998 · July 10, 2018

I went to my mum's house today. Since she died in May the insurance company company have changed the building and contents to an "unattended" policy but part of the deal is someone has to visit once a week.

Opened up. Tapped the alarm code in. Made a funny noise. "LOCK OUT". Won't arm again. This obviously invalidates the insurance, great.

Between googling and guessing, it seems the manitenance contract has expired. Paperwork found suggests this is indeed the case, it's been 54 weeks since it was serviced.

So the sneaky fuckers put a countdown timer on when they service it, if you don't have it serviced again it just stops working! In what fucking world is that OK?

Yes, you can have the countdown timer disabled. You need an engineer to do that. The engineer visit costs more than the service! Why? Direct quote "so people keep getting it serviced".

Next up, if you exceed your cars service intervals it explodes.... Oh wait, I had a Focus TDCI. Yup.

2,955 · July 10, 2018

Good mate of mine had a stroke last week. Seems he's recovering very well but that was a bit of a surprise...

Harsh. Hope he makes a full recovery.

How old was he, out of interest?

After my rant about my family on Friday, poor old nan has had 3 falls, taken to a&e this morning after a 4th fall and knocked herself out. Although not in intensive care, has been transferred to a private room pending respite care. If she wakes up.

I knew I should have just told my family "bollocks to the carers, I'm going to see my nan". I only get to see her once a month, and as I've not been up to Kent since mid-May, I missed my June visit. I'm really hoping I've not missed my last chance to see her. Shame as her mind was still relatively pin-sharp, her body is what was falling to bits.

Very sad. Hope she comes round. My Grandma passed as I was on the motorway to go see her. She wasn't alone, but still wished I could have seen her one more time.

16,454 · July 10, 2018

Physicists- program beeb 2 about time machines, ‘oh we will prove you can travel in time’ followed by an equation, that’s not prooving anything. Show be a full blown working fucking TARDIS and THAT is proof.

This could be why I did biochemistry not physics..........

12,191 · July 10, 2018

You will never be able to travel in time, or someone would have come back and told us about it.

20,981 · July 10, 2018

You will never be able to travel in time, or someone would have come back and told us about it.

It really* happened.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Titor

The grumpy thread

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