The grumpy thread

[rantingYoof]

Pointless argument yesterday by pointless turd: 

 

Eye rolling begins and I carry on watching the numbers on the pump tick round. 

He continues: "You should get a diesel car like mine, far better on fuel."

'I have a diesel car,' I tell him. 'I'm just not in it today.'

 

I've posted elsewhere that nowadays the general cars-are-white-goods public go out to buy a new diesel, and may only end up in a petrol under very rare circumstances.

 

I have similar, if less aggravating and slightly more satisfying conversations people at work all the time; a lot of people at work are white-goods-car-people and they inevitably end up buying a diesel 'to save money'.

 

Conversations normally go like this...

 

'Hey, I didn't know you had a diesel!'

'I don't.'

'But the 2.0T there; that's saying it's a turbo diesel right?'

'No, it's a 2.0 turbo petrol.'

 

[almost literally Helen Lovejoy]

 

'BUT THINK OF YOUR WALLET! HOW DO YOU AFFORD IT?!'

'I only do 10k per year, if that. Nothing at all, and not worth the diesel premium.'

'10k per year is a lot though!!'

 

[me thinking of NorfolkNWeigh]

 

'It's just under the average annual mileage for a car of its sort. There are people who do my weekly mileage a day. Diesels are better for them.'

 

[person looking crestfallen]

 

'But you would save money buying a diesel still, wouldn't you?'

'The diesel version would have cost an additional £500 to buy and it would have taken ages to earn that back from fuel savings. I've done 15k in this and it's now worth less than a thousand pounds. It's cost me £500 in servicing and MOTs since November 2015.  I get £80 per month essential car user and claim 40p per mile business. It's a free car now.'

 

 

I drive away making five cylinder turbo petrol noises feeling uncharacteristically smug. Probably punchably smug. They clatter away in a three year old 1.6 Golf TDi that's got all of 12k on the clock.

[Mally]

Yeah, because obviously if someone is blind they have no right to go and visit a property to get an idea of the layout, access and general feel (excuse expression) of the place. ‘Fucking’ blind people, ay?

 

Original post seems to have vanished.

 

My Dad worked with a blind guy. They were making rotors of some sort for Volvo I believe.

Coated in Teflon/PTFE or some thing such.

You stuck your finger in the middle and polished the outer surface on a buffing wheel. This was before H&S obv.

If there was any imperfection you buffed it out. Blind man did it perfectly by feel, my old man never understood how.

Only problem he had was his surroundings, he walked around no problem but if you left anything in his path he soon let you know.

[Ghosty]

Max, 

 

So you're getting paid £not enough and you have to plan your own shifts now? 

 

Wtf? What are Deliveroo actually doing in all of this, apart from none of the work? 

The worse kind of zero hours freelancing I've heard of in quite a while. 

 

*mashes Chaseracer button*

 

Yep. It used to be that they had a third party scheduling system with shifts of variable length from about 3 hours up, and any changes were made through Rider Support, but the scheduling app was used for absences, which were always accepted no questions asked (provided they did it in time - in reality they didn't give a shit if you showed up at all, late, whatever. Dead handy). That said it was difficult to get your hours amended - I had the same shift pattern for nine months, tried to change it a bit but it was impossible so I just counted my blessings and left it be - if I couldn't go in for whatever reason, eh, no matter.

They stopped using that system and took it in house so you book by the hour (so the minimum shift length is an hour), and you have to book them yourself every week through a rebuilt delivery app. It's a free for all between the riders, but weighted heavily towards people that work weekends, and are on time for shifts (and don't cancel their availability less than 72 hours before a given slot), that start by the hour (15 minute tolerance iirc). Which is annoying in itself as my local train timetable means I have to be half an hour early, or 10-15 minutes late. Sod's law innit. If the app thinks you're doing well you get to book shifts at 11am or 3pm, as opposed to 5pm. The weekly hour limit seems to be somewhere around 50 - on the old system they weren't always keen on you going over 35, and I think I had about 28 hours per week. Now I don't have a clue week to week - this fucked new system means I have 12 hours this week and 0 next.

 

 

They also try really hard to get people off the £not enough hourly rate and on to flat rate £4/delivery - the thing is I took that as it's actually better, even at the slowest times it's about £8/hr, where as typically it's more like £12, as opposed to £8/hr and £7.50 when it's slow. Also it adds a couple of app functions you can't really do without like rejecting orders from places you don't like.

 

It was actually okay when I started back in January but it's really been going downhill lately. Don't want to pack it in though as I really really don't want to do warehouse/retail work (and I always fail retail personality tests), and nothing's local either. It's at least Manchester for pretty much anything.

[strangeangel]

I saw an episode of LocationX3

 

Unlucky.

[strangeangel]

Fill up Subaru at local petrol station. Cretin walks over from his diesel box."Bet that's juicy," he reckons. 

Insult by introduction is a great way to endear yourself to people, I find. 

Eye rolling begins and I carry on watching the numbers on the pump tick round. 

He continues: "You should get a diesel car like mine, far better on fuel."

'Have you not heard? Those are being made illegal next Tuesday. The gubbermint sez so.'

 

<pays for fuel, walks back to SVX, spins wheels and fucks off>

/convo

 

 

Edited for a GR8 RESPONSE.

[cms206]

I run a 2001 Volvo S60 T5 auto as a daily.

 

It does about 22mpg on my commute, but it's fast as fuck, comfortable, everything works and it cost me absolutely bugger all to buy ('cos I swapped it for a Peugeot 407 I didn't own).

 

On a weekly basis I get the whole "Oh you should get a diesel/a sixteen year old car is really old and unreliable/how can you afford to tax a car like that/blahblahblah."

 

My normal first answer is "How much does your car cost you per month?", followed by "All in I'm paying less than 200 quid a month between fuel, insurance and car payments. Thanks for your concern."

 

I asked our insurance broker at work for a quote recently and genuinely got the answer "You should get a new car because they're cheaper to insure."

 

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[Cavcraft]

That reminds me of the time years and years ago, I was in a 50-50 'see who gets there first' at the petrol station. I drove like a twat and beat this posh bloke in a new-ish 3 series (E36) to the pump, and he got out and went 'I suppose you think you're really clever, don't you?' So I just said 'Oooh, got a Ford Escort have you?' and he replied 'Actually, it's a BMW' so I  just did that stupid pretend posh voice thing and went 'Ect-u-arly, it's a Bee Emm Double you' and then invited him to fuck off.

To his credit, he came out covered in more glory than I did, but that's not the point. 

[Angrydicky]

Reading these posts, I can't believe how many cheeky bastards there are who would actually have the balls to go up to a stranger and tell them to buy a new car, because they're better on petrol/for the environment/to keep up with the Joneses'. I think Nissan Jukes are the most hateful, gopping cars known to man and I think anyone who makes a conscious decision to buy one using their own money needs their eyes testing, but I'm not going to go up to owners and tell them that.

[cort16]

You just did

[rantingYoof]

Indeed. I think someone who runs an older 1.8 petrol Focus for and then has the luxury of being able to afford something quite a bit newer and interesting and then goes and buys a silver Golf TDi is a few cells short, but I guess you cannot underestimate the reasonable belief held by some people that cars are literally just white goods with wheels.

[HillmanImp]

Aye, when I first bought the Gold Shaguar, When I drove it into work on the Monday the MD rolled up in his new Lexus Hybrid jobbie. He laughed at my car and said 'Bloody hell, you won't get many miles to the gallon in that, I've been averaging over 80 in my Lexus over the last week' to which I replied 'Yeah but my car only cost £500 quid how much did you pay for that'.

 

He simply chuckled to himself and said 'Fair point'.

[rantingYoof]

Yeah, because obviously if someone is blind they have no right to go and visit a property to get an idea of the layout, access and general feel (excuse expression) of the place. ‘Fucking’ blind people, ay?

 

I know right. I mean, it's not like blind people can become the best at doing things that most people would reasonably assume requires excellent vision as well as ninja-level dexterity...

 

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I can't understand why you lot get bothered about someone telling you to get a new car. Who gives a shit what some random thinks? When I get the old 'why don't you get rid of all your old shit and buy one good car' in the office, which I do almost any time I discuss my hobby with others, I am more than happy to patiently explain that I just don't want to cos I like worthless shit old cars. No one, least of all me, has ever got the hump about it.

[dollywobbler]

I can't understand why you lot get bothered about someone telling you to get a new car. Who gives a shit what some random thinks? When I get the old 'why don't you get rid of all your old shit and buy one good car' in the office, which I do almost any time I discuss my hobby with others, I am more than happy to patiently explain that I just don't want to cos I like worthless shit old cars. No one, least of all me, has ever got the hump about it.

 

I think Alcyone's grump about being approached by some random at a petrol station is well worth the grump. It's not so much the sentiment, but the fact this real life troll seems to think it's acceptable to march up to someone and rubbish their car. I blame the internet.

[Lord Sterling]

Nosey, overbearing arrogant neighbours....... (of my mate). I recently got hold of the barge SD1 V8 manual (my nirvana) project.... cheap and pretty solid, so all good. Garage/Barn has a major roof issue so on mates drive...... all tidy and it's a presnetable motor, needing a couple of running gear things sorted before I throw it in for the test. No plates of course....... you get them from the gov bods with test and insurance.... so I need to get the work done first. Obviously that will take a bit of time unfortunately as I have a life!

Mates neighbour strolls over to him - (in dodgy belgian french accent please)

 

You cannot leeeeve zat ere......

Why not? It's my drive/parking on my land.

It eeez in view of the hy-way.......

So

No plates - in view of zee hy-way.... is ileeegal. I tell polieez.

 

I've checked - it's bloody true. Although on private land, it can 'be seen' from the road - so MUST be tested, taxed etc.... fuggin nightmare!

 

I pointed out that every single car dealer has unplated motors in plain view and all fall foul of this law, so they could FRO.

 

Awaiting response...... or disappearance of car! Arrogant pricks........

Yeah, the Belgians love chopping and changing the law more times than some shiters change cars.

 

I remember as a 11/12 year old walking around Brussels and seeing sad old (usually French) cars unplated, sometimes with flat tyres sitting about cluttering up the highway. I remember my Dad and Uncle having to wait for their plates to be sent by post so they could actually drive their cars so a car could sit in plated on the road as long as a number plate was on its way.

 

Same here in England though, years ago you could leave a car untaxed/uninsured on the roadside until some busybodies decided to change the law.

 

Also, is it true that in Belgium you can't drive or even own a car under 10 years old now or something if you live in the vicinity or Brussles? Ole FATHA_Sterling was telling something about this the other day. He feels like he can't buy something old and horrible anymore like he used to. He is actually looking to move out of Brussels anyway.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Well admittedly an SVX is a bit far removed from the real shite end of the scale, but even if I had a nice car, I just cannot see how the opinion of a total random would wind me up.

[mercrocker]

I would like to blame the internet but it wasn't around when I had similar fuck-knuckles berating me during my Yank days.  

 

"Wotsis do to the gallon then" usually was the opener at the Shell station.  

 

After a few of these I just used to lie and say "eight"  

 

This, for some reason, drew even more scornful interjections from matey in the Chevette or whatever.    The final drop of four star would be rattled noisily out of the nozzle which was then equally noisily slammed back into the pump before he stalked off to the cashier.   I then invariably let the pump dribble into the Pontiac so that it looked like I was putting about fifty gallons in. 

 

Not letting it lie, I usually got a "what do you do for a livin' then to afford that?"   It really, really wasn't a lie when on one occasion I could truthfully say that I was on the dole.   Actually I was between jobs but I wanted to get it up him.  

 

Its not the opinions that wind me up - I never give a fuck what anybody thinks.   Its just the attitude that people think they can instigate a conversation with me that they have every intention of turning into an opinionated drone.   Fuck Off.

[danthecapriman]

Without fail the first thing anyone says to me at a garage when I'm filling the Mercury up is 'what does that do to the gallon then?'

 

It does get tedious sometimes but then again I'm yet to receive any negative comments about it. Everyone seems to love it!

 

Mind you some years ago I got out of my Capri and some complete cunt shouted at me 'Capri's are shit mate'. Without thinking I just shouted back 'so was your mum last night mate!'. It was just instinctive to say it that it just blurted out. Nothing more got said.

[DodgeRover]

This thread has made me grin, the

"All diesels are banned from next Tuesday"

"And so was your mum last night" responses are ingenious.

[HH-R]

I don't mind ribbing from colleagues or friends/family about my cars, but a stranger is a bit rude.I wouldn't go up to the owner of an Audi A3 and tell them how it's a wheezy diseasel and I'd rather have a dose of the clap than drive one. I'd probably end up tied up in the boot for a start.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I can honestly say I've never had a negative comment from a stranger about any car, whether some hanging piece of crap or a tasteless overblown bling mobile that I'm driving for a job.

 

Probably helps that I've usually got a face like a slapped arse and don't look as if any response would be very civilised.

[dollywobbler]

Without fail the first thing anyone says to me at a garage when I'm filling the Mercury up is 'what does that do to the gallon then?'

 

It does get tedious sometimes...

 

 

Try owning a Reliant Scimitar. I used to get TEH FEAR when it needed filling up.

[xtriple]

I get asked what it does to a gallon all the time. I usually reply that: 'it's not too bad really, about 14 around town, so quite good.' which normally leaves people wondering about the mental status of anyone that can come out with that response with what appears to be, all seriousness.

 

Some bloke yelled at me (in a traffic jam) 'Shit car mate!'  so I smiled and said; ' yes, but the dogs love it.' At which point Chester - whose head was on the window sill - joined in the conversation with something along the lines of: 'Fuck off oik, you smell really bad and you're ugly!' The precise meaning was hard to discern, but the feeling and passion he put into the comment was most obvious

[AlabamaShrimp]

I've had a couple of comments over the years. Always the same stuff, 'you don't see them any more' 'what's it worth'. No and no idea is the answer then walk/drive away.

 

I don't mind it as such. I've been asked at work and it's the same answer as Mr bollocks, I like my cars.

[wuvvum]

My stock answer to wimmin who ask "why do you need 11 cars when you can only drive one at a time?" is "How many pairs of shoes can you wear at a time?".  Usually makes them at least pause for a moment before the inevitable "That's different!".

[alcyonecorporation]

I can't understand why you lot get bothered about someone telling you to get a new car. Who gives a shit what some random thinks? When I get the old 'why don't you get rid of all your old shit and buy one good car' in the office, which I do almost any time I discuss my hobby with others, I am more than happy to patiently explain that I just don't want to cos I like worthless shit old cars. No one, least of all me, has ever got the hump about it.

 

 

Point also taken. I have perfected a semi-stoned/baffled stare that I sometimes roll out when people spout dribbling arsecandle. 

He got a bit of that, then I got bored and decided to pay for the fuel in my piss awful dinosaur thing.

 

My whinge really was that despite my pretty strong opinions online, I keep them to myself in person unless someone really is being a jeb end.

I wasn't trying to strike up a conversation with him; I can't say BMW 118ds feature anywhere near the top of my 'cars I'd like to own' list but do you know what? I managed to keep my views to myself.

 

I normally play classic car show bullshit bingo if I take the Piazza anywhere. My record was at Bicester Heritage last year:

 

1. That was supposed to be a Scirocco = x 6

2. Diffs just drop into Chevettes = x 8 

3. That's a Scirocco built under license = x 2 (a new one on me, that). 

4. That's got an Elan engine = x 3 

5. It's front wheel drive (despite staring at a back axle which very obviously had a diff in it) = x 1 

6. It's a Suzuki XT (????!!! and not said in jest) = x 1 

7. Why do you bother (your mum) = x 2

8. My MGB is worth more (yes, and?)  = x 1 

 

There are plenty of cars I'll happily admit to knowing bugger all about - but I'd never try and engage their owners in conversation based on some pub expert gobshite ammo. 

 

Maybe it's just me. 

 

I can honestly say I've never had a negative comment from a stranger about any car, whether some hanging piece of crap or a tasteless overblown bling mobile that I'm driving for a job.

 

Probably helps that I've usually got a face like a slapped arse and don't look as if any response would be very civilised.

I got mistaken for a vagrant in WHSmith once.

[vulgalour]

LED streetlights.  I've just about adjusted to the ridiculous one at the end of our drive that means the outside light is now not needed because the streetlight is so sodding bright.  It's that bright it partially illuminates the kitchen with the blind drawn.  The council have been replacing them all locally, with minimal disruption which is impressive for any council endeavour.  My issue with them is the light is wrong.  Before you'd get a nice even flood of light and you'd see a little bit beyond the road, it was easy on the eye and felt safe.  Now they're so bright and direct there's dark patches between the street lights and pedestrians disappear, which is pretty disconcerting when they emerge from a dark spot into the road.  Some are so bad I have to put the sunvisor down at night to prevent being dazzled.

 

I absolutely despise these new LED streetlights.  They need some diffusion or a filter or something.  They're too bright and too direct for their application.  I have much the same issue with modern headlights.  I find myself actively avoiding driving at night now because of the way lighting is going, it just doesn't feel safe to be constantly dazzled by the very illumination that's supposed to help me see where I'm going.  I don't even enjoy travelling at night as a passenger any more.

 

No point in complaining to the authorities about this because it will be dismissed with information on energy saving, the environment and me being a weird anachronism of a person (all of which is accurate).  I just have to try and adjust to this somehow. I know I'm not alone but the response from others of "oh, that's just how it is now." is just a little more annoying than the lights themselves.

[Eddie Honda]

LED advertising boards unnecessarily on at night especially with retinal burning white graphics.

[Cheggers]

Without fail the first thing anyone says to me at a garage when I'm filling the Mercury up is 'what does that do to the gallon then?'

 

It does get tedious sometimes but then again I'm yet to receive any negative comments about it. Everyone seems to love it!

 

Mind you some years ago I got out of my Capri and some complete cunt shouted at me 'Capri's are shit mate'. Without thinking I just shouted back 'so was your mum last night mate!'. It was just instinctive to say it that it just blurted out. Nothing more got said.

Having owned a Triumph 2000 for a few years, I can tell you exactly how many folks Dad/ Grandad used to have one as they all told me

 

 

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[Ghosty]

I had that with the 200. I’m surprised how well liked that car was.

LEDs: when you first get onto a motorway at night in the Volvo it’s hard to drive because of other people’s headlights behind you - no anti-glare anywhere, so you just get glare in the corners of your eyes from all three mirrors until your eyes adjust. It’s not great.