The grumpy thread

[HH-R]

I don't mind ribbing from colleagues or friends/family about my cars, but a stranger is a bit rude.I wouldn't go up to the owner of an Audi A3 and tell them how it's a wheezy diseasel and I'd rather have a dose of the clap than drive one. I'd probably end up tied up in the boot for a start.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I can honestly say I've never had a negative comment from a stranger about any car, whether some hanging piece of crap or a tasteless overblown bling mobile that I'm driving for a job.

 

Probably helps that I've usually got a face like a slapped arse and don't look as if any response would be very civilised.

[dollywobbler]

Without fail the first thing anyone says to me at a garage when I'm filling the Mercury up is 'what does that do to the gallon then?'

 

It does get tedious sometimes...

 

 

Try owning a Reliant Scimitar. I used to get TEH FEAR when it needed filling up.

[xtriple]

I get asked what it does to a gallon all the time. I usually reply that: 'it's not too bad really, about 14 around town, so quite good.' which normally leaves people wondering about the mental status of anyone that can come out with that response with what appears to be, all seriousness.

 

Some bloke yelled at me (in a traffic jam) 'Shit car mate!'  so I smiled and said; ' yes, but the dogs love it.' At which point Chester - whose head was on the window sill - joined in the conversation with something along the lines of: 'Fuck off oik, you smell really bad and you're ugly!' The precise meaning was hard to discern, but the feeling and passion he put into the comment was most obvious

[AlabamaShrimp]

I've had a couple of comments over the years. Always the same stuff, 'you don't see them any more' 'what's it worth'. No and no idea is the answer then walk/drive away.

 

I don't mind it as such. I've been asked at work and it's the same answer as Mr bollocks, I like my cars.

[wuvvum]

My stock answer to wimmin who ask "why do you need 11 cars when you can only drive one at a time?" is "How many pairs of shoes can you wear at a time?".  Usually makes them at least pause for a moment before the inevitable "That's different!".

[alcyonecorporation]

I can't understand why you lot get bothered about someone telling you to get a new car. Who gives a shit what some random thinks? When I get the old 'why don't you get rid of all your old shit and buy one good car' in the office, which I do almost any time I discuss my hobby with others, I am more than happy to patiently explain that I just don't want to cos I like worthless shit old cars. No one, least of all me, has ever got the hump about it.

 

 

Point also taken. I have perfected a semi-stoned/baffled stare that I sometimes roll out when people spout dribbling arsecandle. 

He got a bit of that, then I got bored and decided to pay for the fuel in my piss awful dinosaur thing.

 

My whinge really was that despite my pretty strong opinions online, I keep them to myself in person unless someone really is being a jeb end.

I wasn't trying to strike up a conversation with him; I can't say BMW 118ds feature anywhere near the top of my 'cars I'd like to own' list but do you know what? I managed to keep my views to myself.

 

I normally play classic car show bullshit bingo if I take the Piazza anywhere. My record was at Bicester Heritage last year:

 

1. That was supposed to be a Scirocco = x 6

2. Diffs just drop into Chevettes = x 8 

3. That's a Scirocco built under license = x 2 (a new one on me, that). 

4. That's got an Elan engine = x 3 

5. It's front wheel drive (despite staring at a back axle which very obviously had a diff in it) = x 1 

6. It's a Suzuki XT (????!!! and not said in jest) = x 1 

7. Why do you bother (your mum) = x 2

8. My MGB is worth more (yes, and?)  = x 1 

 

There are plenty of cars I'll happily admit to knowing bugger all about - but I'd never try and engage their owners in conversation based on some pub expert gobshite ammo. 

 

Maybe it's just me. 

 

I can honestly say I've never had a negative comment from a stranger about any car, whether some hanging piece of crap or a tasteless overblown bling mobile that I'm driving for a job.

 

Probably helps that I've usually got a face like a slapped arse and don't look as if any response would be very civilised.

I got mistaken for a vagrant in WHSmith once.

[vulgalour]

LED streetlights.  I've just about adjusted to the ridiculous one at the end of our drive that means the outside light is now not needed because the streetlight is so sodding bright.  It's that bright it partially illuminates the kitchen with the blind drawn.  The council have been replacing them all locally, with minimal disruption which is impressive for any council endeavour.  My issue with them is the light is wrong.  Before you'd get a nice even flood of light and you'd see a little bit beyond the road, it was easy on the eye and felt safe.  Now they're so bright and direct there's dark patches between the street lights and pedestrians disappear, which is pretty disconcerting when they emerge from a dark spot into the road.  Some are so bad I have to put the sunvisor down at night to prevent being dazzled.

 

I absolutely despise these new LED streetlights.  They need some diffusion or a filter or something.  They're too bright and too direct for their application.  I have much the same issue with modern headlights.  I find myself actively avoiding driving at night now because of the way lighting is going, it just doesn't feel safe to be constantly dazzled by the very illumination that's supposed to help me see where I'm going.  I don't even enjoy travelling at night as a passenger any more.

 

No point in complaining to the authorities about this because it will be dismissed with information on energy saving, the environment and me being a weird anachronism of a person (all of which is accurate).  I just have to try and adjust to this somehow. I know I'm not alone but the response from others of "oh, that's just how it is now." is just a little more annoying than the lights themselves.

[Eddie Honda]

LED advertising boards unnecessarily on at night especially with retinal burning white graphics.

[Cheggers]

Without fail the first thing anyone says to me at a garage when I'm filling the Mercury up is 'what does that do to the gallon then?'

 

It does get tedious sometimes but then again I'm yet to receive any negative comments about it. Everyone seems to love it!

 

Mind you some years ago I got out of my Capri and some complete cunt shouted at me 'Capri's are shit mate'. Without thinking I just shouted back 'so was your mum last night mate!'. It was just instinctive to say it that it just blurted out. Nothing more got said.

Having owned a Triumph 2000 for a few years, I can tell you exactly how many folks Dad/ Grandad used to have one as they all told me

 

 

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[Ghosty]

I had that with the 200. I’m surprised how well liked that car was.

LEDs: when you first get onto a motorway at night in the Volvo it’s hard to drive because of other people’s headlights behind you - no anti-glare anywhere, so you just get glare in the corners of your eyes from all three mirrors until your eyes adjust. It’s not great.

[Guest Hooli]

First thing I do when it's dark enough for lights is dip the interior mirror, always have done.

[alf892]

I would like to blame the internet but it wasn't around when I had similar fuck-knuckles berating me during my Yank days.  

 

"Wotsis do to the gallon then" usually was the opener at the Shell station.  

 

After a few of these I just used to lie and say "eight"  

 

This, for some reason, drew even more scornful interjections from matey in the Chevette or whatever.    The final drop of four star would be rattled noisily out of the nozzle which was then equally noisily slammed back into the pump before he stalked off to the cashier.   I then invariably let the pump dribble into the Pontiac so that it looked like I was putting about fifty gallons in. 

 

Not letting it lie, I usually got a "what do you do for a livin' then to afford that?"   It really, really wasn't a lie when on one occasion I could truthfully say that I was on the dole.   Actually I was between jobs but I wanted to get it up him.  

 

Its not the opinions that wind me up - I never give a fuck what anybody thinks.   Its just the attitude that people think they can instigate a conversation with me that they have every intention of turning into an opinionated drone.   Fuck Off.

I get the 'wotsit do to the gallon' question with the pickup............best way I've found to disengage with them is to say 'dunno mate........when it needs fuel I put some in....or just tell them I only ever put 40 quid in'........

[sierraman]

My friends wife committed suicide yesterday by driving at speed into a bridge support. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Having seen a car hit a bridge support at full whack it’s not a nice way to go either. What an awful space she must have been in to consider doing that. Sorry to hear that.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Whenever I have been questioned about old motors, I just ask them how much theirs has depreciated and how much the finance cost them per month. That pretty much ends the conversation.

[oldcars]

I really could not give two fecks what folk think of my motors. I like them and that is all i care about. 

I like to keep them clean, some clown that lives near me said " You washed that last week, whats the point it will get dirty again". My reply, "do you wipe your arse when you have a shite? Because that to will get dirty again". Never seen him since.

[Noel Tidybeard]

Nosey, overbearing arrogant neighbours....... (of my mate). I recently got hold of the barge SD1 V8 manual (my nirvana) project.... cheap and pretty solid, so all good. Garage/Barn has a major roof issue so on mates drive...... all tidy and it's a presnetable motor, needing a couple of running gear things sorted before I throw it in for the test. No plates of course....... you get them from the gov bods with test and insurance.... so I need to get the work done first. Obviously that will take a bit of time unfortunately as I have a life!

Mates neighbour strolls over to him - (in dodgy belgian french accent please)

 

You cannot leeeeve zat ere......

Why not? It's my drive/parking on my land.

It eeez in view of the hy-way.......

So

No plates - in view of zee hy-way.... is ileeegal. I tell polieez.

 

I've checked - it's bloody true. Although on private land, it can 'be seen' from the road - so MUST be tested, taxed etc.... fuggin nightmare!

 

I pointed out that every single car dealer has unplated motors in plain view and all fall foul of this law, so they could FRO.

 

Awaiting response...... or disappearance of car! Arrogant pricks........

 

 

cover the car- eet cant bee seen from ze highway then hercules poirot!

[tooSavvy]

Merc...

 

If I pulled up behind a [your?] Yank... If eye contact occurred <no doubt with dread in the heart of the Yank helmer> a cheery smile from me.. "Leave a bit in the ground, for me"...

 

That wouldn't offend anyone, Shirley ?

 

 

TS

[cms206]

Driver CPC today. Today's course? Drivers Alcohol Awareness.

 

I've not had a drink since 2005.

 

I want a fucking drink now.

 

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[purplebargeken]

If any consolation can be obtained from how she did it, is that I hope it was instantaneous. So very very sad.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Merc...

If I polled up behind a [your?] Yank... If eye contact occurred <no doubt with dread in the heart of the Yank helmer> a cheery smile from me.. "Leave a bit in the ground, for me"...

That wouldn't offend anyone, Shirley ?TS

Depends who is driving the yank...

 

I have been on the other side though; saw a beautiful Marc W123 coupe. Said to the driver, what a lovely old car, I've got one of those. " what type? " he says.

I tell him mine is a 200 diesel estate He just shrugged and walked off.

 

Ignorant bastard

[Ghosty]

First thing I do when it's dark enough for lights is dip the interior mirror, always have done.

I don’t have a choice but to!

[BavarianRetro]

Depends who is driving the yank...

 

I have been on the other side though; saw a beautiful Marc W123 coupe. Said to the driver, what a lovely old car, I've got one of those. " what type? " he says.

I tell him mine is a 200 diesel estate He just shrugged and walked off.

 

Ignorant bastard

Lovely car, but a W123 200 TD must be the slowest car produced after WW2?

[taxi paul]

I don’t have a choice but to!

Get some of that film from eBay and darken the back windows. Supposed to be easy*to do and cheap. Won't help with mirrors. I don't get it in the jap bus cos high. But in celica or corolla it's a pain.

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Depends who is driving the yank...

 

I have been on the other side though; saw a beautiful Marc W123 coupe. Said to the driver, what a lovely old car, I've got one of those. " what type? " he says.

I tell him mine is a 200 diesel estate He just shrugged and walked off.

 

Ignorant bastard

 

All of my Triumphs have the same effect over here with the cheque book charlies....... they absolutely detest the fact I've done most of the work myself and that certain parts are not standard and none are or ever will be nut and bolt restorations fresh from some 'known' garage or other.

I've found tis usually the arrogant pricks who shamble off muttering about the 'mess' I have made of the car etc... who turn out to be the same ones asking about welding getting done and repairs in my 'spare time' when they find out a lot of the work done wasn't quite as superior as they were expecting/led to believe...... 

[alcyonecorporation]

"Wotsis do to the gallon then" usually was the opener at the Shell station.  

 

After a few of these I just used to lie and say "eight"  

.

 

 

Eight 'your mum's to the drizzle, I hope? 

[Ghosty]

I’m surprised nobody’s developed a RainX type spray for glare.

[alcyonecorporation]

I’m surprised nobody’s developed a RainX type spray for glare.

They have. 

 

It's called RainX. 

[Ghosty]

D'oh

[wuvvum]

Booked to have the Golf dragged away today via removemycar.  Spoke to the scrapyard last week to make the arrangement, had a reminder email from RMC on Friday saying the car would be picked up today between 8 and 5.  You can guess the rest.  FFS. Council are now whinging about it being on the car park, so if I can't get anyone to turn up for it I might have to bite the bullet and tax it and stick it on the road.  The red Rover needs to go ASAP as the council is whinging about that too, but if scrapyards aren't going to turn up when arranged then not sure what I can do.  I have very limited holiday left for this year so can't take any more time off work to sit around like a twat waiting for missed appointments.  I've rung the mobile number for the scrappy and left a voicemail, but not holding my breath for hearing owt back.