The grumpy thread

[jakebullet]

21 minutes ago, twosmoke300 said:

You need to be moving that car asap . Or someone will be removing it for you .

I have thought of this. It's why I stuck a 6 foot fence around it, and a security camera. Not totally hiab proof, but I'm here in the daytime so can only help.

I think the gentlemen* who ask about it are either £50 + broken xbox cash tonite ebay flippers, or want a V5 to ring a ding someone else's pride and joy.

[Pieman]

Interesting strategy on the above from a chap I know who restores vintage cars - he buys old bikes cheap that he doesn't need or want, then leaves them outside his yard so the local chavs will nick them and not think to look inside at the more prestigious old stuff he's got in there.

[Markeh]

Ah, bugger.

To be fair, they do have me bang to rights, I knew I was taking a gamble while I popped for lunch with a friend. Had I left my car in the city centre NCP any longer it would've cost me another £30 + getting a bus/cab to meet said friend, so really it's only what I'd have paid out anyway.

 And it honestly took me less than a minute to pay online. Was expecting it to be a real ballache to sort out but it was easy! Can't even be that mad, really.

[Popsicle]

3 hours ago, vulgalour said:

Make sure you wrap the cast in clingfilm or similar to mask it from overspray.  The perfect crime!

Hmm I'd actually not even given that a thought, good idea, saves any nurses or my Mrs wondering why my cast is dog dick red like the Beetle!

[Low Horatio gearbox]

The 2 minor * electrical issues on the page finally being started. Dash removal reveals  a fucking mess and a mass of loose and unconnected wires missing fastners and a damaged NLA control unit for the windows.

[Split_Pin]

I have waited 2 weeks for a vacuum pump seal to arrive for the red 93. It finally arrived today and I got it all boshed back together no bother.

I took the not inconsiderable trouble to completely rewire the drivers seat as the loom was shredded and the airbag light was on. Its been off since May when I fixed it. When I reconnected the battery today if fupping came back on!!! This coupled with the absolute war I had changing the coolant on the black 93 meand I am not feeling the Saab thing just now.

[Zelandeth]

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

Maybe you need a tiny sign and a clamp! Or just block them in.

[108]

1 hour ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

You need to pop out to the shops before the school rush*, then arrive back, park on your own drive and enjoy a leisurely breakfast while ignoring the doorbell** then suffer an unfortunate FTP***
 

* wait around the corner. 

** “sorry boss, I’m a little deaf / didn’t hear the doorbell 
 

*** ah feck, it’s an old car. I’ll walk to the nearest motor factors to get a new battery. 
 

Day 2: repeat

[MrGTI6]

4 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

Used to happen to me all the time. Hence my pointless collection of wiper blades, aerials, wheel trims, dust caps, tow eye covers, etc.

Even helped myself to a spare wheel from underneath a Zafira once!

[Zelandeth]

1 hour ago, 108 said:

You need to pop out to the shops before the school rush*, then arrive back, park on your own drive and enjoy a leisurely breakfast while ignoring the doorbell** then suffer an unfortunate FTP***
 

* wait around the corner. 

** “sorry boss, I’m a little deaf / didn’t hear the doorbell 
 

*** ah feck, it’s an old car. I’ll walk to the nearest motor factors to get a new battery. 
 

Day 2: repeat

Sadly it's then me who is wrong in the eyes of the law as I'm preventing them from accessing a public highway.  I did block one asshole who did this in once and was promptly read the riot act by Thames Valley Police who turned up about 90 seconds after I parked up.

It's fucking stupid.  If we had realised how close the school was we really would have thought twice about buying this place.  Had we known how much idiocy there would be on a daily basis between 0800-1000 and 1430-1600, we *definitely* wouldn't have bought the place.

[cobblers]

If someone parked their car on my drive they would be leaving with a finger tight sump plug or loose oil filter, whichever is easiest to access.

[twosmoke300]

Or just crawl under and use a pry bar to push the calipers back . 
Would wake them up at the next junction 😂

Which would be at the school . Actually that is a terrible idea 

[hairnet]

rectangular house making object

latex glove

job jobbed

 

[vulgalour]

3 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

Completely unrelated I'm reminded of the spate of flat tyres we got on our own driveway from someone propping wood screws and nails between the drive and the tyre tread.  It was very annoying because sometimes you didn't even know you'd got a puncture until the next day.  Never did prove who was doing it, unfortunately.

[108]

32 minutes ago, Zelandeth said:

Sadly it's then me who is wrong in the eyes of the law as I'm preventing them from accessing a public highway.  I did block one asshole who did this in once and was promptly read the riot act by Thames Valley Police who turned up about 90 seconds after I parked up.

It's fucking stupid.  If we had realised how close the school was we really would have thought twice about buying this place.  Had we known how much idiocy there would be on a daily basis between 0800-1000 and 1430-1600, we *definitely* wouldn't have bought the place.

So if they block you in that’s ok? 
 

I would be calling Thames Valley Police each time. Surely the muppet is blocking you from accessing the Public Highway. 

[108]

Or just park close to your own gate, in your own garden. 
 

I realise I might be misunderstanding the layout but this shit shouldn’t be allowed. 

[RoverFolkUs]

Just crawl under the fucker (the car, not the cretin..!) - cut their Lambda sensors and as many other wires as possible  and an ABS sensor or two if you're feeling it 

[Split_Pin]

Wait,  can I just clarify, is this a private driveway for your use only?

I'd fucking tan the car if they parked on mine without any hesitation whatsoever. 

[sheffcortinacentre]

You can guarantee they'd go mental if you did same to them & they'd get away with any retaliation.

[reb]

Buy can of mackerel fillets.

Eat tasty fish.

Pour juices into scuttle vents.

Profit.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

1 minute ago, reb said:

Buy can of mackerel fillets.

Eat tasty fish.

Pour juices into scuttle vents.

Attract local wildlife, including cats.

Profit.

FTFY.

[New POD]

9 minutes ago, Split_Pin said:

Wait,  can I just clarify, is this a private driveway for your use only?

I'd fucking tan the car if they parked on mine without any hesitation whatsoever. 

Which is unfortunately criminal damage.  You have to think clever with these people. 

[reb]

Just now, GrumpiusMaximus said:

FTFY.

I do like cats, so this is a welcome chain of events.

[junkyarddog]

4 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

You've got two large dogs yes?

So you must have access to quite a lot of poo.

Smear said poo under all the door handles,and deposit a large one right outside the drivers door!

[Split_Pin]

Just set the dugs on them.

[goosey]

5 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

Years ago myself and a few work colleagues took turns in Pissing up the side of a Discovery 3 that was blocking the entrance to our unit, the ones who couldn’t piss in public pissed into a mop bucket that got tipped into the scuttle. We did this as it’s less obvious than poo but smells just as bad.

and the owner was an arse 

 

It was our Service Managers idea, the guy was an absolute nutter but one of the nicest people I’ve ever met 

 

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Surely the individuals who are using your driveway for free parking are blocking some of your own vehicles in? 

Would that not suggest that said individual is therefore preventing you from accessing a public highway? 

It sounds like you need to call the police and let them read the riot act to the cheeky swine!

[Remspoor]

Oh this is bringing out the nasties in all of us.
I would either spray the win screen with 3in 1, Put some pet food down the heater intake or superglue the door windows. None of these can be immediately put down to you, unless local bobby is  member of this forum.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

1 minute ago, Remspoor said:

Oh this is bringing out the nasties in all of us.
I would either spray the win screen with 3in 1, Put some pet food down the heater intake or superglue the door windows. None of these can be immediately put down to you, unless local bobby is  member of this forum.

Write 'paedo' in white spray paint on the door in letters two-foot high.