ruffgeezer

OK so in spite of a high level of cuntitude from the ParcelForce fuckwit, I now.have both windo regulators for the Laguna. The rear one went back in with no bother, which left repairing the front one. Having been 'modified' by Big Bobby Sausage Hands, the previous control unit looked like this: Which lead to a burnt out control unit and a multiplug looking like it lived at the bottom of the fishtank. so how best to clean up that multiplug? A bit of a tickle with a stiff wire brush and the the secret weapon; a soda blasting gun: Which left a rather happier looking connector: When I When the replacement mechanism off of the cables, it still didn't work, but on replacing the fuse, the motor moved -reluctantly- at this point I noticed one of the cable channels had broken, and no about of bodging it about would rescue it. As this was the only higher spec mechanism, ive ordered a rebuild kit from ebay, because I just don't have enough aggro already! Still need to sort that wheel bearing though.

Useless lazy parcelforce walker not ringing the doorbell, or indeed leaving the parcel with any of the neighbours whom were all in (indeed those opposite were in the front garden) He'd better leave it tomorrow or it will be another strike against the workshy cunt.

Two window regulators ordered and on to the front suspension this morning:- This corner failed the MOT as the spring was rubbing the bodywork. So the scene is set, and the foreman is on duty so I'd better get it right. Droplinks can be a right bastard of a job, and can add unwanted costs if you have to resort to carving them up with the angry grinder. When I need to remove one, I use a thread cleaning kit before attempting to undo the nut. Sometime heat is required too, but in this case, cleaning the thread was sufficient. Thread cleaning set - I'm sure you can get cheaper than snapon these days. With the strut removed, you can see the spring has caught the arch in several places... Also the locating lugs on the top mount had been sheared off by some uggerdugger merchant. Even when looking at the strut off of the car, you can tell the spring is not a happy one, I suspect it has either the wrong spring, or the spring has been fitted upsidedown. It's flattened the locating tab on the shock absorber too! - I fitted a good, used, strut as i wasnt sure what the issue was until I got the car stripped. This seemed the quickest way to rectify this issue. The foreman agrees that we have done enough for today, so time for some lunch before I go to work: Mmm, that'll do!

Offf, someone will be sore about that, around £25 off the truck to replace it!

So whilst letting the paint harden, I thought it'd look at the non working windows... Firstly the passenger front - this worked when I applied live to the motor, but I'm not sure this is an original fitment... I'd better have a closer look at that... Yes, that doesn't look ideal does it? The multi plug looks terrible too, but I am hoping i can rescue it with the soda blaster. As for the rear door, well that is different again... Yep some fucker has pulled the mech out and cable tied a metal pole in it's place. I shall give the paint a cut and polish tomorrow as there is a bit of oversprsy to remove...

I'm definitely not a bodywork man, but after wiring brushing, rust proofing and a couple of primer coats, I went to VRS Boston for a can of Bleu Azul 472, which has come out a great match to the Frogdollop's paintwork.

Hey, a win is a win. I haven't found owt exciting for ages.

Tonight I thought I'd investigate the grotty spot: This is the passenger side rear arch, where I think I shall be pulling out the arch liner and removing the muck behind it. Sanded and covered in some rust treatment gel... It says to wait 30 mins before applying more, and so i applied a couple of buckets of water to the filthy exterior: Like many thinks in life, my French friend here looks better wet - I'm actually surprised at how smart it's come out. I'm not looking forward to the inside though. I've seen horse boxes cleaner than it.

Ok so another update without pictures - sorry! Last night after packing Mrs R off to work and the children off to Nanny's, I had the house to myself. So what does any self-respecting shiter do after having done an early shift after only 3 hours sleep? That's right, straight out to the garage to unlesh the spanners! I'd finally taken delivery of a set of rear discs and pads from eBay, the discs are the type with the wheel bearing in so I was expecting tatty bumhole time when it came to prices. all my local factors were £150+ for the set, which just won't do and so a set of Unipart disccs and pads were procured just £72 the set - nice! So in the dying light of a Saturday night, I got to work on the side that failed the test. I'd haggled the car down on the basis it would likely want a caliper but luckily it just needed the slider boots removing from the caliper and the holes cleaning out (Laser tools do an injector bore wire brush set that is brilliant for this). With this done, I got all the shiny bits fitted and swapped all the wheels back to their new places and found that the wheel weights now clash with the front brake calipers, cock! Still to do is the front strut (spring stop has been flattened allowing the spring to catch on the inner wing) and one of the front wheel bearings which as previously mentioned is utterly cunted.

Do let me know if you end up wanting a rear silencer.

The window will be laminated glass, I had one go like that on my S40, it had shatterproof glass all round. One day whilst waiting at a t junction, a stone hit the Driver's front window, just left a small mark on the glass but when I finished my shift that night, you can bet the little fucked had cracked through. Cost me £60 to replace it with a used, standard, window from the local scrapper.

Fitted a pair of budgets to the rear wheels today, and having read some forums, it seems I shall have to do some fucking about to swap them to the front - the TPMS valves will need recoding to the correct corners and the coloured rings swapping to the corresponding wheels.

It was a complete kit by Holts and available from halfords or euro car parts, and probably other equally terrible motor factors. Holts headlamp kit at ECP My only criticism would be the cutting polish was a bit tame so I ended up using some AutoSmart stuff I had in the garage, G20 I think?

Ya know what, I had my reservations, but I'm pretty pleased with that!

Well after a going over with the sealant, they don't look terrible:

I haven't forgotten this, but sometimes work does get in the way. The online parts supplier chucked a spanner in the works today by only sending a pair of discs, and no pads. I've 2 new tyres waiting to be fitted and have had the damaged alloy straightened. Also today I had a bit of a go with a Holts headlamp restoration kit, to improve the cataracts. These are Xenon lamps so I hope I can get some sort of pattern out of it! This evening the monticule d'oignon is doing a rather spiffy Saab impression:

IMHO, leaving in this fashion is similar to keying someone's car - we none of us are sure what has been done to result in such behaviour and, without that discussion, we aren't able to be more accommodating going forward. I enjoyed very much seeing what @HMC did next, but it won't stop me checking in on the rest of you twats. Sadly the heyday of shite is over, there just isn't as much interesting, affordable, shite out there. Most of my stuff is modern bangers but I always hope, even if it isn't the most interesting subject matter, that there is some level of education in my threads. I do wish people would place so much credence on likes or replys and keep plugging away at those topics - the silent masses among us may not have much to contribute but we really do appreciate the time you all take to post. From the antiquities of @vulgalour and @Angrydicky, through @trigger's amazing ability to snuffle out and recommission amazing classics and on to @Jim Bell's poetic modern plop logs, it's a broad church that is nowt without its congregation.

An overview of the door with the membrane peeled back: This is the actuator linkage connector, it attaches to the car's existing locking rod, I've thread locked the screws and the channel in which the locking rod will run. The master actuator will need fitting into the door, i tucked it between the inner door skin and the window runner, it is important to ensure the wiring is tucked well away from the operating of the window. The rod bent to shape and attached to the original locking rod from the interior door handle. I extended the wires to the actuator, I heartily recommend the Lidl battery soldering iron, up to temperature in less than a minute and plenty of charge for the job in hand. Here you can see the actuator mounted in the depths of the door, from outside the inner skin, you can just see the heads of the 2 screws used to mount it. I've used blue insulation tape throughout so as to show clearly where all the new cabling has been run. I used a multimeter to find a fuse with a permanent live and installed a fuse bypass to run the locking kit alongside it. It's the black lump in the center of the fuse box in the above picture. I used the framework of the dash as an earthing point. After testing the system, it was a case of putting the membrane, trims and fusebox back on, ensure wiring was neatly tied away.

Forgot to mention, I fitted remote looking to it the other day. Take one chingrish manual and one Hyundai wiring diagram. If you look closely at the Hyundai diagram, you might see that the driver's door does not have a motor in it, only a selection of switches which signal the other door motors when to open. For this reason, the remote locking install is a fair bit simpler, it will just be a stand alone system that unlocks the drivers door, relying on the car's original central locking to open the rest of them. This is what a £25 locking kit from amazon looks like, 4 actuators and a control module. The installation manual is crap, which did leave to me having to alter the wiring later on, I'm not sure what the extra 2 wires to the master actuator are - they aren't connected on mine and it still works, likewise the other brown and white wires from the control box have ended up unused too. First port of call is to remove the door card, which is held on by several screws around the edge, including two hidden under plastic caps. Then I used a plastic trim tool to release the trim clips by working around the perimeter of the door card. Also the door mirror trim needs to be popped off: The door panel and the mirror trim have an abundance of these white trim clips. The interior door handle has one screw removed and then the assembly is slid forward to release it, allowing access to remove the linkages, one for opening the door and one for the locking mechanism. Onwards with the boring bit, running the cable to the door. nb, ignore the wiring colours here - the schematics aren't all that clear and I should have used the common wires that also should feed the other actuators on the full system. Steps here: ● Removing the rubber boot and the door wiring plug from the A pillar. ● Undoing the lower dash trim, end panel and fuse box bolts to aid access. ● Feeding the loom up through the A pillar and, after using an awl to expand a trio of redundant holes, pushing them through both sides of the door multiplug. Using a wire rod, I fed the 3 cables through the rubber boot with the rest of the door loom: Then it was time to carefully strip back the door membrane - this keeps rain water out of the cabin so it's important to try and keep it as intact as possible. This one is attached with butyl, a soft and very sticky black sealant, which I cut through with a razor blade. This will re-stick once I'm finished as it doesn't set. A closer look at the workings of the door - for clarity I have marked what each rod does, and the position of the locking rod when locked and unlocked.

Having covered a shade under 500 miles this last week, I was pleased to work out that it managed 48mpg whilst being driven like it was recently stolen - I'm running a bottle of diesel additive through it at the moment.

Half hour's investigation today... This is the wheel that failed the MOT:- I'm looking at a few options at the moment, but I may just replace all 4 wheels if I can get a set, as there are 2 tyres needing attention too. The rear brake that was obviously and significantly worn is *just* below the minimum depth, I've a set of discs and pads on order. Rear axle bushes dont look terrible in spite of being advised forever:

I haven't jacked it up yet to be honest, but I'd heard it before I'd left the seller's cul de sac.

This is the odd, thing, other than the wheel bearing so loud it had the wrinklies in the old peoples home diving under the tables, it's a genuinely nice drive. Add to that its a fairly low mileage auto that is ULEZ compliant, it becomes almost desirable.

OK so what do we have? It's a very well spec'd motor, 2.0 petrol turbo, Auto box and an allegedly recent cambelt. Being the Initiale model, it has a full complete of the finest French moo, which is now almost as mucky as the day it left rhe farmyard. The previous owner has installed a rather fancy Alpine headunit, which may be replaced for something a little more subtle... Note it has climate control too, and it works! There are a few recent stamps missing from the book, but the service indicator only states 'change oil soon' so I might do some detective work on that. I did go for some bravery points on the drive home, and opened the massive sun roof, it works nicely too. The split boot mechanism all works, and there is an industrial strength boot liner present too! The Snag List:- ● One of the alloys is apparently buckled badly enough to have failed the mot 'Tyre bead likely to become dislodged' ● NSF and OSR windows inoperative. ● One of the front wheel bearings is UTTERLY UTTERLY FUCKED. No two ways about this, how the fussbudget mot tester missed that I don't know, I genuinely thought it was going to shit itself on the way home. ● NSR tyre on the legal limit ( which isn't 1.0mm whatever the fuckwit tester said.) ● Headlamps cloudy - they'd better polish up as they are Xenon units! ● Dash dimmer doesn't work, most annoying! ● It may or may not need the rear discs and pads replacing. All in all, Im quite happy with bringing this home for a McDonald's less than a monkey.

On the D5 Volvo, there are 2 engine mounts that vacuum assisted, and also very prone to failure. The diaphragm on the front one has split and so is letting by hence draining the vacuum from the rest of the system.