What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[privatewire]

12 hours ago, wuvvum said:

That message appeared on my old Scénic when I first bought it.  It cleared itself on the run home and didn't reappear after that.

Aye, his car is a Scenic as well, as you’ve probably noticed. It rattles like a bag of spanners when the light is on, but disappears above 60. He’s taking it on a 180 mile round trip tomorrow, which he claims will be “nae bother”

[Wack]

1 hour ago, Wack said:

Another collection, long day 5½ hours on 3 trains 

I'm not wearing enough clothing it's bastard freezing and the Costa shop is shut 

 

I think there's a Walter mitty on the train which is full of people heading for the rugby in Cardiff 

One that can't stop talking 

So far he used to be a professional footballer, has a PhD, his daughter is a Harley Street doctor, he's met and knows all the rugby players 

I'm expecting the train driver to come and ask him for advice in a bit 

[Wack]

8 minutes ago, Wack said:

I think there's a Walter mitty on the train which is full of people heading for the rugby in Cardiff 

One that can't stop talking 

So far he used to be a professional footballer, has a PhD, his daughter is a Harley Street doctor, he's met and knows all the rugby players 

I'm expecting the train driver to come and ask him for advice in a bit 

This is going to be a long trip, he's now been to Africa with David Beckham 

Met Terry butcher, we went in a tunnel so I missed if they were best mates 

Still got his bobble hat on 

[EyesWeldedShut]

https://bit.ly/3KG0B7Z

I got a cheap pair of noise cancelling headphones for public transport systems that involve Mitty like beings - fantastic invention so long as you don't forget to charge them up before you leave.

If you get a minute can you ask him how to get the starter motor off a puma engined Pug Boxer (1) without lacerating the f*ck out of the back of your hands (2) what's the torque on the solenoid lead bolt?
Thanks

[High Jetter]

3 hours ago, Wack said:

I'm expecting the train driver to come and ask him for advice in a bit 

I had a mouthful of coffee as my eyes got to that line. At least I've got a nice clean screen now the coffee's gone.

[Wack]

10 minutes ago, High Jetter said:

I had a mouthful of coffee as my eyes got to that line. At least I've got a nice clean screen now the coffee's gone.

This gets better, a woman got on the train, asked the conductor in a very North East accent  what time it gets into Darlington 

Er you're going the wrong way, get off at Taunton for dartington, she didn't hear that he'd said dartington so I had to say something to make sure this poor woman wasn't on a tour of the UK 

[Wack]

Rac trolling 

[richardmorris]

On 2/23/2023 at 11:16 PM, High Jetter said:

Thank you. 🙇‍♂️

You had to ask, didn’t you.

[High Jetter]

8 minutes ago, richardmorris said:

You had to ask, didn’t you.

Yup, was genuinely puzzled and appreciated the full explanation. Sorry if it caused you a problem.

[S2000]

The new CBT steed hence the PCX125 in the for sale section. Bloody cold today but managed 30 miles before my lack of appropriate thermals diverted me home…… love it!

[Mally]

I fell off a ladder today.

This could easily have been in the grumpy thread.

I've been working 8 hours for 8 days. I'm going to Blackpool tomorrow.

[Wack]

22 minutes ago, Mally said:

 

I've been working 8 hours for 8 days. I'm going to Blackpool tomorrow.

Is that like being sent to Coventry but with sand hitting you in the face 

Glad falling off the ladder wasn't as bad as it might've been 

I moved into a new house in 1990, the builders stained all the soffits and it looked shit so I bought a ladder, got up there with my pot of stain, thought, this is much higher than it looks and got someone else to do it 

Ladder is still in the garage 

[RoverFolkUs]

On 2/24/2023 at 4:01 PM, privatewire said:

This has appeared on my youngest brother’s car, being a serial Renault molester he is much more relaxed about it than I’d be…..

A very fitting audio track to be playing while driving a Renault

I tried searching for something that's goes like "is there a way to headgasket failure" on the maiden voyage of my old Rover 45, to no avail.. 😉

[richardmorris]

5 hours ago, High Jetter said:

Yup, was genuinely puzzled and appreciated the full explanation. Sorry if it caused you a problem.

Sarcasm. I appreciate @LightBulbFuns knowledge and enthusiasm. If not the love of oddly shaped glowing bulbs!

 

[Mally]

1 hour ago, Wack said:

Is that like being sent to Coventry but with sand hitting you in the face 

Glad falling off the ladder wasn't as bad as it might've been 

I moved into a new house in 1990, the builders stained all the soffits and it looked shit so I bought a ladder, got up there with my pot of stain, thought, this is much higher than it looks and got someone else to do it 

Ladder is still in the garage 

It was only a step ladder inside.  Was 3 steps up and must have put my foot off the side instead of the step. Dropped on my back with the ladder on top of me. Fortunately I'd tidied up the floor.

It's a massive job. My late wife had a roll in disabled shower I installed 30 years ago.

Son now wants a bath/shower thingy. Obv he's taken the family to see Mickey Mouse, 

I've had to sort the floor. Move all the pipes. Shower proof panels on the walls Thermostatic mixer at one end of the bath........

I normally only work a couple of hours at a time.  I'm bleedin 77 it's a wonder I can climb.  Falling is easy.

 

I like Blackpool, I go often.  Usually just one night, Lazy Sunday £29, for 5 course evening meal and  all you can eat  breakfast. 2 acts at night in the Bar.

It's nice on the prom in Summer.  Winter I stay in the bar. 

[808 Estate]

[Matty]

Paddy McGuinness spotted on a date with Kirsty Gallagher. Fuck me that's what I call an upgrade. Good lad 😀

[Metal Guru]

Latest money saving hack (Daily Mirror)

Basically a women has this fantastic idea of making a list and checking prices to stop her over spending at the supermarket!

I mean, why didn’t I think of that?!

[Mally]

Tides in, bit dull.

I'm not dull I've had a meeting with John Smith.

Sea view double room for one (ah well!). 5 course meal at 6pm if I don't fall asleep.

 

 

[Matty]

8 minutes ago, Mally said:

Tides in, bit dull.

I'm not dull I've had a meeting with John Smith.

Sea view double room for one (ah well!). 5 course meal at 6pm if I don't fall asleep.

 

 

North pier?

[Mally]

5 minutes ago, Matty said:

North pier?

Yes, I'm in Tiffanys. Mattress is good which is a gamble here, but sea view tend to be better rooms.

They charge more for sea view, Normally £60 a night ish plus food.

But if you know the ropes. Half price with food on Sunday.

They also do AI, now. I thought it would be full of drunks, but it was OK last time.

I can go and see Springsteen ish, but it's £30. Probably only cost me that to see the man himself years ago. I'll watch the free stuff in here, but skip the Bingo.

[Matty]

42 minutes ago, Mally said:

Yes, I'm in Tiffanys. Mattress is good which is a gamble here, but sea view tend to be better rooms.

They charge more for sea view, Normally £60 a night ish plus food.

But if you know the ropes. Half price with food on Sunday.

They also do AI, now. I thought it would be full of drunks, but it was OK last time.

I can go and see Springsteen ish, but it's £30. Probably only cost me that to see the man himself years ago. I'll watch the free stuff in here, but skip the Bingo.

Very nice. Have a good do 

[meggersdog]

This 15 thousand mile trailer queen turned up on Friday

Booked in for an MoT on Tuesday. Phoned the owner yesterday asking for the front numberplate. "It's in a carrier bag at home, why, do you need it "

[Timewaster]

7 hours ago, Matty said:

Paddy McGuinness spotted on a date with Kirsty Gallagher. Fuck me that's what I call an upgrade. Good lad 😀

To be fair, Mrs McGuinness looks pretty dam fine.

 

[Skizzer]

On 2/23/2023 at 10:08 PM, hairnet said:

@Skizzer

video

stat

diolch

Sorry 😬

[cort1977]

28 minutes ago, Timewaster said:

To be fair, Mrs McGuinness looks pretty dam fine.

 

That's what I thought.  Didn't he cheat on her?  What a fucking twat!

[RoverFolkUs]

[RoverFolkUs]

Boy do I love the Citroen Xsara Picasso Facebook group

So someone has one making a whining noise or something, after many people telling them for ages they've finally removed the Aux belt to find it's the alternator. 

Someone helpfully advises that the tensioner is a left hand thread to remove it, he then responds to ask if he needs a left hand spanner 😂😂

Could be tongue in cheek, maybe not, can't tell 😆

[RoverFolkUs]

And another, his Picasso has gone into economy mode and he's asking what the problem is (there isn't one...)

"It's french just scrap the fucker and buy a German problem solve" 

Very helpful m9 ... 

*A list of spurious, historical fault codes*

"Ye scrap it mate" 

Great advice! 😆

"Ohh I pay for this car 900 pound but I have problems"

Sounds like you've answered your own query there 😂 

[EyesWeldedShut]

4 hours ago, Mally said:

They also do AI, now

Round these parts that means a guy rocks up in waterproof gear, lubes up his limbs and then does nefarious things to the nether regions of horses and cows  that involve semen -  keep your bum against the wall there? Sleep tight