What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[loserone]

Chuck me the highly inappropriate picture and I'll censor it if you like 

[Wack]

Bought a new to me car a couple of weeks ago , started it up then went in the house , came out tried starting it again and nothing , completely dead so I tried locking it to reset the immobiliser and nothing 

Looked at the key which is new so can't be flat WTF is going on , tried again and immobilised appeared on the display 

Bollocks 

Went back in the house and realised I'd picked the wrong key up , it came with 3 but one does nothing 

It wasn't the non starting that worried me , it was the fucking earache I was going to get 

There was nothing wrong with the mercedes you've just sold 

[somewhatfoolish]

26 minutes ago, loserone said:

Chuck me the highly inappropriate picture and I'll censor it if you like 

It will be on twtter somewhere; look for a still of Chris Whitty doing one of his ZOMGPANDEMIC briefings, with a powerpoint of Matt Hancock having Ugandan discussions with not-his-wife.

[robinmasters]

I have exactly the same multimeter as Big Clive. I am, therefore, an extremely knowledgeable electrical engineer. So that's good. 

[Pieman]

Yesterday my dad had his final scan following radiotherapy a few weeks ago, and got the all clear from prostate cancer

[wuvvum]

24 minutes ago, robinmasters said:

I have exactly the same multimeter as Big Clive. I am, therefore, an extremely knowledgeable electrical engineer. So that's good. 

I've got one of those as well.  Bought from Maplins IIRC, about 20 years ago.  On its second 9v battery now but otherwise it's been spot on.

[Remspoor]

16 hours ago, robinmasters said:

I have exactly the same multimeter as Big Clive. I am, therefore, an extremely knowledgeable electrical engineer. So that's good. 

Those yellow ones are very generic. I just wish at times mine had a buzzer.

[ruffgeezer]

I have kept nagging at B & SIL to get their cambelt changed, managed to get them to have one done on their cashcow earlier in the year. 

'You really ought to get the other car done, it is 11 years old now' 

*SNAP*

'Can you repair it cheaply, asap?' 

😇

 

[myglaren]

 

[cobblers]

NFTS and cryto blockchain stuff is all a load of shit for elon worshipping pricks and I'm fed up of hearing about it. but it's all worth it because a new company has just been launched in the NFT space:

https://blog.polygon.technology/nonce-finance-will-launch-on-polygon-8b2da764228c

[goosey]

On 7/3/2021 at 9:08 PM, ruffgeezer said:

I have kept nagging at B & SIL to get their cambelt changed, managed to get them to have one done on their cashcow earlier in the year. 

'You really ought to get the other car done, it is 11 years old now' 

*SNAP*

'Can you repair it cheaply, asap?' 

😇

 

I once suggested my brother in law get his cam belt changed on his 9 year old Dacia Duster as it had never been done before, 

his response was “what’s the point il never get the money back from it”

🙄

 

 

[Stanky]

4 hours ago, cobblers said:

NFTS and cryto blockchain stuff is all a load of shit for elon worshipping pricks and I'm fed up of hearing about it. but it's all worth it because a new company has just been launched in the NFT space:

https://blog.polygon.technology/nonce-finance-will-launch-on-polygon-8b2da764228c

[eddyramrod]

I couldn't understand why I still have £55+ in my PayPal account, despite sending most of that to three Shiters for diecasts and Roffle tickets.  I have now figured it out.  I didn't have the payment option set to "use PayPal balance."  This means they are going to appear on my credit card bill instead.  Bugger.

[myglaren]

[iainrcz]

According to an email I received this morning, someone has transferred £25000 in to my account. It doesn't specify what account, but cheers.

I'll be sure to waste it on beer and more pointless stuff for the car.

[somewhatfoolish]

4 hours ago, iainrcz said:

According to an email I received this morning, someone has transferred £25000 in to my account. It doesn't specify what account, but cheers.

I'll be sure to waste it on beer and more pointless stuff for the car.

The Nigerian Ministry for Paperclips is getting quite low rent these days; I wouldn't* waste money on beer for less than a million.

[iainrcz]

1 hour ago, somewhatfoolish said:

The Nigerian Ministry for Paperclips is getting quite low rent these days; I wouldn't* waste money on beer for less than a million.

Just pointless tat for old Toyotas Subarus instead?

[808 Estate]

[St.Jude]

3 minutes ago, 808 Estate said:

Reminds me more of this for some reason

 

Same level of charisma too. 

[Justin Case]

Just for a laugh I checked the price of our house using the Zoopla website. I was delighted that our house is worth £80k more than next door's, especially as his has  a large extension and the garden is about three times the size of ours ☺️

[Wack]

Getting pissed on a school night

When you look in the fridge and there's 3 bottles of Thatchers ( not her) 7.2% cider and a full case of Busweiser Budvar ( not the american crap)and drinking them at 4pm seems like a good idea

This may be regretted at 8am tomorrow

 

[hairnet]

@Parky

@TooManyPeopleMovers

I typed budget wrong this happened

[Wack]

5 hours ago, Wack said:

Getting pissed on a school night

When you look in the fridge and there's 3 bottles of Thatchers ( not her) 7.2% cider and a full case of Busweiser Budvar ( not the american crap)and drinking them at 4pm seems like a good idea

This may be regretted at 8am tomorrow

 

Not a great idea 

Fell asleep , woke up at 8:30 , thought I was late for work then realised it was ,8:30 pm not am 

[Parky]

8 hours ago, hairnet said:

@Parky

@TooManyPeopleMovers

I typed budget wrong this happened

Don’t forget the three grand quarantine fee!!!

First day on the job vaccinating Kiwis today.  Not doing the jabbing, just keeping tabs on them post vax and saving their lives in case.  Quite bizarre to think the people are reliant on the fast reactions of three nurses and a financial adviser with two hours CPR training under his belt but an honour they think I am up to it.

Was quite good.  Resisted the temptation to talk to the punters about their investments and pensions and instead concentrated on getting 400 processed today (quiet).  At the peak we hope to increase this by a factor of three or four.  There were also some shots left over so I had my first one today so am Pfizered up.  No improvement to mobile phone reception as of yet but Bill Gates just rang and asked me if I could put the TV3 News on as there was a story about a goat he wanted to see.

 

[Tamworthbay]

 

[Tamworthbay]

On Facefuck this morning-

[Leyland Worldmaster]

2 hours ago, Tamworthbay said:

On Facefuck this morning-

"No sarccy [Sic] remarks" 

Priceless! 🤭

[Talbot]

That picture is very old.  Been circulating on the web for forever.

[Tamworthbay]

53 minutes ago, Talbot said:

That picture is very old.  Been circulating on the web for forever.

Relevance? It’s the what makes you grin thread, it made me grin this morning. 

[iainrcz]

My brother's partner is a police officer. A DS I think.

Turns out my niece, who is 3 ish, has been going around school threatening kids that her mum will Taser them unless they're nice to her 🤣