The grumpy thread

[SiC]

Isn't the crank pulley nut supposed to be a lock tab washer on them? 😬

[GMcD]

RANT MODE ACTIVATED.

Why is it that perfectly normal human beings turn into absolute fucking helmets with a screw loose as soon as they jump into a car. 

Neighbour 1 this morning - Stop being lazy and get out your bed 10 minutes earlier in the morning and leave your house 10 minutes earlier instead of hoofting around blind bends in your local small housing estate at 40mph in 2 tons of SUV. 

There are too many variables (traffic lights, give-ways, roundabouts) out there that will wipe out those 5 seconds you made up by driving like an absolute fucking flute. What's the fucking point? 

Neighbour 2 this evening - Don't tailgate, flash your lights and OVERTAKE me at an unmarked junction (20mph zone, kids running about and parked cars everywhere) in previously mentioned small housing estate, to then pull into your drive FIVE SECONDS LATER.  Then have the audacity to call me a "dangerously slow driver" (whatever the fuck that means, I was doing a sensible speed ) , "nosey cunt" and "fucking arsehole" when I tell you that your "driving is out of order" and "was there really any need to get to your house seconds quicker by driving like that".  

I hope her fanny collapses out her arse. The cunt. 

ABSOLUTE FUCKING MORONS.  

[Matty]

2 minutes ago, SiC said:

Isn't the crank pulley nut supposed to be a lock tab washer on them? 😬

Quite possible. My ignorance on that one.

[Matty]

3 minutes ago, GMcD said:

RANT MODE ACTIVATED.

Why is it that perfectly normal human beings turn into absolute fucking helmets with a screw loose as soon as they jump into a car. 

Neighbour 1 this morning - Stop being lazy and get out your bed 10 minutes earlier in the morning and leave your house 10 minutes earlier instead of hoofting around blind bends in your local small housing estate at 40mph in 2 tons of SUV. 

There are too many variables (traffic lights, give-ways, roundabouts) out there that will wipe out those 5 seconds you made up by driving like an absolute fucking flute. What's the fucking point? 

Neighbour 2 this evening - Don't tailgate, flash your lights and OVERTAKE me at an unmarked junction (20mph zone, kids running about and parked cars everywhere) in previously mentioned small housing estate, to then pull into your drive FIVE SECONDS LATER.  Then have the audacity to call me a "dangerously slow driver" (whatever the fuck that means, I was doing a sensible speed ) , "nosey cunt" and "fucking arsehole" when I tell you that your "driving is out of order" and "was there really any need to get to your house seconds quicker by driving like that".  

I hope her fanny collapses out her arse. The cunt. 

ABSOLUTE FUCKING MORONS.  

And that's your neighbours. Unbelievable really. I'm quite fortunate to live on a street full of dead sound people, but I also go out of my way to not be a dick.

Best rule for life, don't be a dick. Sorry @GMcDthat you've got proper cunts for neighbours lad.

[GMcD]

13 minutes ago, Matty said:

And that's your neighbours. Unbelievable really. I'm quite fortunate to live on a street full of dead sound people, but I also go out of my way to not be a dick.

Best rule for life, don't be a dick. Sorry @GMcDthat you've got proper cunts for neighbours lad.

I suppose neighbours is a slight exaggeration as they are both around the corner(s) about 10 or so doors down. But my point still stands, they just seem to morph into fucking numpties when they get in a car and don't like it when they get called out on it.  Thankfully the neighbours next door and across the street are all mostly decent folk/friends that seem to have their heads screwed on right. 

[Matty]

6 minutes ago, GMcD said:

suppose neighbours is a slight exaggeration as they are both around the corner(s) about 10 or so doors down.

Far enough away then 😄

[EyesWeldedShut]

2 minutes ago, Matty said:

Far enough away then 😄

Yeah - careful that the accelerant trail from their overnight torched car goes away from your house - say #2 to #1?
Only joking.
I just got in after having a total dick in a BMW tailgate me for 5 miles along a single lane mountain road. Blinding LED lights and he's right on my arse willing me to go faster or pull over. He's so close to me that he's almost clipping the sheep I'm driving around as he cannot see them (seriously -this is the Cym Ystwyth mountain road if you know it).
Being a decent sort of chap, I just slowed down and deflected my mirrors.  

p.s. my third nearest neighbour (about a mile away) now has a 15 reg SLK with AMG trimmings - niiiice

[Matty]

2 minutes ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

Yeah - careful that the accelerant trail from their overnight torched car goes away from your house - say #2 to #1?
Only joking.
I just got in after having a total dick in a BMW tailgate me for 5 miles along a single lane mountain road. Blinding LED lights and he's right on my arse willing me to go faster or pull over. He's so close to me that he's almost clipping the sheep I'm driving around as he cannot see them (seriously -this is the Cym Ystwyth mountain road if you know it).
Being a decent sort of chap, I just slowed down and deflected my mirrors.  

p.s. my third nearest neighbour (about a mile away) now has a 15 reg SLK with AMG trimmings - niiiice

Depends how much you like what your in. Years ago when I was in works pickup with a lad like that I anchored on. He went right under the back and peeled the bonnet back.

"Sorry pal, a deer ran out" 😁

[Pieman]

One of my neighbours gets a new Bini as part of a finance deal every time a new reg comes out, just so she can tell all her clone-like yummy-mummy friends she's got the latest reg number before all of them.  Her latest one is fucking dayglo yellow.  I didn't even know you can get a Bini in dayglo bile yellow, but it's fucking HIDEOUS and I am already resenting seeing it every time I look out of the window.

I think I dislike her even more than the chavs on the other side of my house who are incapable of conducting a conversation at anything below normal volume and insert the word "fuck" into every sentence.

[EyesWeldedShut]

5 minutes ago, Matty said:

Depends how much you like what your in. Years ago when I was in works pickup with a lad like that I anchored on. He went right under the back and peeled the bonnet back.

"Sorry pal, a deer ran out" 😁

Nah - I was driving The Bini of The Child Bride. She's kill me if I did that to her itsy, bitsy motor. If it was my old Series 2a with the towball on the rear crossmember - now you'd be talking (except The Titanic could probably out brake that Land Rover)
Mind you with the itsy, bitsy tyres (low profiles), a little remap and the fact I knew the road it could have been fun but she was in the passenger seat and I have to be a well behaved, giffer barge driver transplanted from his wafty steed when chauffeuring m'lady.

[EyesWeldedShut]

6 minutes ago, Pieman said:

Her latest one is fucking dayglo yellow. 

They have had a yellow colour since day 1 - back in the noughties it started kind of pale, lemony, Robinsons Barley Water colour. Since then it has gone brighter, then orangier and now the bilious colour you are feasting* your eyes upon. In five years time it'll look tired and be worth 10% less than a more neutral colour.
But then she's not interested in that - all show and no trousers? (You know what I mean).

[EyesWeldedShut]

3 minutes ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

They have had a yellow colour since day 1 - back in the noughties it started kind of pale, lemony, Robinsons Barley Water colour. Since then it has gone brighter, then orangier and now the bilious colour you are feasting* your eyes upon. In five years time it'll look tired and be worth 10% less than a more neutral colour.
But then she's not interested in that - all show and no trousers? (You know what I mean).

Arrr fuckit - forgot to mention the real reason I was Grumpy.

Trolled over to the 'local' car auctions @ Leominster which tends (in general) to push through stuff you'd get at BCA lane C  and unwarranted. Lots of utter AutoShite fodder in other words.

Rocked up a bit late as there was actually traffic on the road courtesy of The Royal Welsh Show kicking out (my bad). Missed the car I was going to look at. Then had a dib or two on some others and ended up with a 'provisional'. They ring the vendor who is sticking to his reserve which is bottom book price and his car has the EML on. By this point I'm grumpy so just walk away. Fuck him - the car'll be there next week, and the next, and the next (or he gets that light fixed).

(And even grumpier me - all the smol stuff, and some of the big stuff, was going through at bottom book prices ++ (and then you have a roughly 10% indemnity fee to pay)? wtf? are people nuts?)

[Pieman]

29 minutes ago, Nyphur said:

Jealousy does get ugly...

I lived a few doors down to a lady who used to get a new civic type-r come registration week. It wasn't a "show off to her yummy mummy mates thing", she was moderately high up in Honda UK.

Jealousy?  It's nothing of the sort, I'd be jealous if she owned a beige Citroen BX!

[captain_70s]

13 hours ago, SiC said:

Head needed the nuts tightening up after its run? Iirc @Matty needed to do that on his A40 when that showed HGF symptoms.

It had been retorqued. I flushed the coolant the other day suspect I airlocked it and overheating blew the gasket. I drove it home and it never got hot but still pressurising.

9 hours ago, Matty said:

Don't listen to him @captain_70s 😄. In all serious, pull it back down using a known quantity torque wrench, use that on the crank pulley nut as well and go again. Be reet

Edit

Was it a copper gasket you used. Supposedly they have a lacquer on them which melts when hot and helps create a good seal. You fit them, torque the head down and for the first start just use water not coolant. Get it warm enough for the stat to open then shut it off, let it cool then pull the head down again and add antifreeze. Then just pull the head down one more time after a few hundred mile. 

Edit edit

I blew mine accross 2 pots while going full pelt. It was going accross the other two as well. The (very) light skim was precautionary. Again, it'll be reet. The amount of graft you've put onto that dolly is an inspiration.

Composite style generic no-brand gasket. They never came with copper ones to my knowledge and the decent Payen ones were out of stock everywhere.

I've had a cheap gasket blow before after not many miles so not unprecedented.

[paulplom]

12 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Had someone stop me during walking the dog today and just openly ask me for cash to buy drugs.  Not even the slightest attempt to make me believe it was for food, a coffee, a room for the night...no, just straight out said he only had £12 to his name and needed more to get his next fix.

What a lovely area we live in.

I had one homless bloke ask me for change last week. Sorry, I don't have any I replied. Join the club, I don't have any either I'm fucking skint he said. 

If I was carrying he would've had it.

[New POD]

9 hours ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

Yeah - careful that the accelerant trail from their overnight torched car goes away from your house - say #2 to #1?
Only joking.
I just got in after having a total dick in a BMW tailgate me for 5 miles along a single lane mountain road. Blinding LED lights and he's right on my arse willing me to go faster or pull over. He's so close to me that he's almost clipping the sheep I'm driving around as he cannot see them (seriously -this is the Cym Ystwyth mountain road if you know it).
Being a decent sort of chap, I just slowed down and deflected my mirrors.  

p.s. my third nearest neighbour (about a mile away) now has a 15 reg SLK with AMG trimmings - niiiice

Not being funny,but he caught you up. He was therefore faster than you on the road. Why slow him down, you old fast?*

Maybe he has sixth sense and can see around bends or something.

Had you pulled over, you could have followed him, and because he's now taking all the risks of having a head on crash with a tractor with a spike at head height, you can keep up with him safely, only having to rely on his brake lights.  **

Much easier.

*Said with jest and humour in mind. 

** Seriously. If he's faster, let him be faster. Would it hurt you to let him past (assuming there's a place to make that happen) 

[New POD]

9 hours ago, Nyphur said:

Jealousy does get ugly...

I lived a few doors down to a lady who used to get a new civic type-r come registration week. It wasn't a "show off to her yummy mummy mates thing", she was moderately high up in Honda UK.

I used to know a guy who had a brand new and different Jag X type every week with trade plates every weekend. 

Worked at Halewood as a Quality Manager. As long as he had a clip board for notes and comments about quality, he was doing his job. Usually put about 100 miles on them. 

Showed me one LHD US spec car. The interior trim was heinous.  Instead of fake wood, it had fake marble/stilton cheese. In cream with a hint of blue veins running through it.  Seats were cream velour. Vomit inducing. 

[New POD]

9 hours ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

They have had a yellow colour since day 1 - back in the noughties it started kind of pale, lemony, Robinsons Barley Water colour. Since then it has gone brighter, then orangier and now the bilious colour you are feasting* your eyes upon. In five years time it'll look tired and be worth 10% less than a more neutral colour.
But then she's not interested in that - all show and no trousers? (You know what I mean).

Liquid yellow was the Generation one yellow. A pleasant, gentle yellow that looked good even as it faded in the sun.  That's because someone buying a gen one, didn't need to say look at me! The car said it all.  GRADUALLY the stylists, have gone colour blind and they need the colours of an acid trip to feel alive again. 

[New POD]

9 hours ago, Matty said:

Depends how much you like what your in. Years ago when I was in works pickup with a lad like that I anchored on. He went right under the back and peeled the bonnet back.

"Sorry pal, a deer ran out" 😁

Fucking wild animals.  I once slowed down to almost zero, because there was a pack of sheep on the side of a mountain road, above Settle near Malham Tarn in the mist. They walked in front, so I stopped, then as they walked away I started to pull away and one big fucker turned around and ran straight in front of me. Rolled up to the bonnet on my metro, as I hit it, rolled back onto the road and trotted off, with a smirk.  No damage, but wife spent the next ten minutes telling me I was a shit driver.  

[MikeR]

years ago when we did the 3 peaks , the sleep were sleeping on the road at night ,

so to get them to shift we would bump them , the Tipos plassy bumper took a few knocks that night

then a big cloud of dust n shite would go up in the air , lit by the head lights ... followe by lots of grinning in the car

[EyesWeldedShut]

1 hour ago, New POD said:

 

** Seriously. If he's faster, let him be faster. Would it hurt you to let him past (assuming there's a place to make that happen) 

Part of the reason we take that road slow is the dead sheep. Every year we get lambs and ewes killed by the likes of this guy - there's about six or seven miles of unfenced, open mountain there and a lot of sheep.
It appears that sheep don't have any sort of Darwinian trait as regards traffic and they'll always be doing their best to (1) sleep in the middle of the road (so you whizz around the corner and are confronted by a life size Grommit and you have no place to go but either over Grommit or off into the bog) or (2) they'll leap out in front of you with gay abandon. Latter is usually the case when you see a lamb one side of the road and a ewe on the other. Locals can see that as a hazard, visitors are less likely to anticipate it.
The mountain road is much busier nowadays as satnavs seem to now be offering it up as the 'quickest' route - it usually comes up as two minutes or so quicker than the signposted 'official' route which is 10 miles longer so folks'll choose it. In the van or towing or being in a hurry I'd choose the A44/A470/A44 option though as it is a much less stressful option.
Pulling over is possible in one or two passing places but, to be honest, when he rocked up behind me at Mach 1 and sat there on full beam - I turned into Victor Meldrew and just thought 'fuckwit'. Even when he dipped his lights t'missus thought he was on full beam as we could see our shadow being cast in front of us for miles.
 

[edit] - ahh, see @MikeR has already mentioned the sleepy sheepy in the roady - I think they like the residual heat & dryness off the tarmac. They're also salt junkies and like to have grit bin licking parties which can be interesting* when the grit bin is bang on the roadside - can't move them for love nor money.

[Talbot]

2 minutes ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

he rocked up behind me at Mach 1 and sat there on full beam

That would have me driving at giffer speeds or even lower in an instant.  I've come to a full stop before now, on a single track road.  The fun game is to wait until they get out of their car in a frothing rage, then move off.  as soon as they're 2" from your bumper again, you stop again.  Rinse and repeat.

Had one guy doing this to me in Dorset many years ago.  At one point I came to a stop in a passing place, and he shot past me.  Only to be met by the oncoming steam traction engine on it's way to the Dorset steam fair.  He'd seen what had happened and just kept plodding on at his 5mph.  Bellend had to reverse all the way back, and then back around me and behind me as I was perfectly positioned to allow enough space for the traction engine, but not for anyone to be in front of me.

and once it had passed, we set off at a sensible speed again.  Shockingly, with Mr.Bellend a lot further back...

😁

[captain_70s]

11 hours ago, SiC said:

Isn't the crank pulley nut supposed to be a lock tab washer on them? 😬

It didn't when I took it off, but that's not to say there shouldn't be one. It's not reverse threaded or owt, handy...

The fact it came off as I was pulling into the services and we heard it ping off the undercarriage and I saw "something" in the mirror rolling into the lorry park is nothing short of a miracle. It could easily have fucked off on the M74. 😂

[Metal Guru]

1 hour ago, New POD said:

Fucking wild animals.  I once slowed down to almost zero, because there was a pack of sheep on the side of a mountain road, above Settle near Malham Tarn in the mist. They walked in front, so I stopped, then as they walked away I started to pull away and one big fucker turned around and ran straight in front of me. Rolled up to the bonnet on my metro, as I hit it, rolled back onto the road and trotted off, with a smirk.  No damage, but wife spent the next ten minutes telling me I was a shit driver.  

Sometime in the early 80s, we were on holiday near Glen Coe. We’d gone to the local hotel for our dinner and were returning to our camp site and encountered sheep in the road. They all moved except for one ram who just stood there facing us. 
After a few toots to try and make it move, it stepped forward and head butted the headlight, (Cortina Mk4 , nice big rectangular one), cracking it right across it.

F@cking hard Scottish sheep!

 

[sierraman]

I do wonder how many of these Uber eats delivery folks are actually insured for hire and reward. You can’t get near the local ‘eateries’ for their cars abandoned all over the place. 

[DavieW]

1 hour ago, sierraman said:

I do wonder how many of these Uber eats delivery folks are actually insured for hire and reward. You can’t get near the local ‘eateries’ for their cars abandoned all over the place. 

Don't forget the poor ones who use push bikes - no lights, cycling the wrong way down 1 way streets, disobeying traffic lights. Despise them all.

[RoverFolkUs]

5 hours ago, sierraman said:

You can’t get near the local ‘eateries’ for their cars abandoned all over the place. 

Small moment of disbelief earlier, drove past and there was a Yaris (obviously) parked diagonally where circled, clearly having driven from the oncoming direction and just nosed in to presumably pick something up from that restaurant!😂 

 

[chodweaver]

I do wonder how many of these Uber eats delivery folks are actually insured for hire and reward. You can’t get near the local ‘eateries’ for their cars abandoned all over the place. 

Vanishingly few. Because, as with the proper insurance for parcel delivery, it's fantastically expensive. And it doesn't come with all the marvelous advantages of ordinary Social, domestic and pleasure use policies, like 3rd party cover on any other vehicle. I'm not even sure that I'm accruing no claims discount on mine.

So you can hardly blame them for taking the cheapest they can get, assuming they bother to get any at all - UberEats' checks when enrolling drivers are laughably lax. Some unscrupulous drivers will have multiple accounts, on multiple mobiles, and use them all to increase the number of delivery orders they can pick up. Leaving their mobiles on the outside window sill of the MacDonalds they're working from is also a trick to get first pic of orders as they go on the system - because the algorithm favours the mobile closest to the UberEats laptop in the restaurant*

*Term is used loosely

Also, watch out for takeaway drivers that over a period of months and years have a string of almost identical vehicles that carry the same (not personalised) registration. I don't know what the advantage of doing this is, but I'm sure the VIN number on many no longer matches its registration.

[sheffcortinacentre]

The advantage is one insurance,licence,mot & tax covers them all on anpr.

As the computer says all ok.

[dozeydustman]

Stopped off for breakfast on way to dad’s belated father’s day out.

I’m allergic to soya. Everything where we have stopped for breakfast may contain soya and guess who forgot his epipen