The grumpy thread

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

Maybe you need a tiny sign and a clamp! Or just block them in.

[108]

1 hour ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

You need to pop out to the shops before the school rush*, then arrive back, park on your own drive and enjoy a leisurely breakfast while ignoring the doorbell** then suffer an unfortunate FTP***
 

* wait around the corner. 

** “sorry boss, I’m a little deaf / didn’t hear the doorbell 
 

*** ah feck, it’s an old car. I’ll walk to the nearest motor factors to get a new battery. 
 

Day 2: repeat

[MrGTI6]

4 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

Used to happen to me all the time. Hence my pointless collection of wiper blades, aerials, wheel trims, dust caps, tow eye covers, etc.

Even helped myself to a spare wheel from underneath a Zafira once!

[Zelandeth]

1 hour ago, 108 said:

You need to pop out to the shops before the school rush*, then arrive back, park on your own drive and enjoy a leisurely breakfast while ignoring the doorbell** then suffer an unfortunate FTP***
 

* wait around the corner. 

** “sorry boss, I’m a little deaf / didn’t hear the doorbell 
 

*** ah feck, it’s an old car. I’ll walk to the nearest motor factors to get a new battery. 
 

Day 2: repeat

Sadly it's then me who is wrong in the eyes of the law as I'm preventing them from accessing a public highway.  I did block one asshole who did this in once and was promptly read the riot act by Thames Valley Police who turned up about 90 seconds after I parked up.

It's fucking stupid.  If we had realised how close the school was we really would have thought twice about buying this place.  Had we known how much idiocy there would be on a daily basis between 0800-1000 and 1430-1600, we *definitely* wouldn't have bought the place.

[cobblers]

If someone parked their car on my drive they would be leaving with a finger tight sump plug or loose oil filter, whichever is easiest to access.

[twosmoke300]

Or just crawl under and use a pry bar to push the calipers back . 
Would wake them up at the next junction 😂

Which would be at the school . Actually that is a terrible idea 

[hairnet]

rectangular house making object

latex glove

job jobbed

 

[vulgalour]

3 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

Completely unrelated I'm reminded of the spate of flat tyres we got on our own driveway from someone propping wood screws and nails between the drive and the tyre tread.  It was very annoying because sometimes you didn't even know you'd got a puncture until the next day.  Never did prove who was doing it, unfortunately.

[108]

32 minutes ago, Zelandeth said:

Sadly it's then me who is wrong in the eyes of the law as I'm preventing them from accessing a public highway.  I did block one asshole who did this in once and was promptly read the riot act by Thames Valley Police who turned up about 90 seconds after I parked up.

It's fucking stupid.  If we had realised how close the school was we really would have thought twice about buying this place.  Had we known how much idiocy there would be on a daily basis between 0800-1000 and 1430-1600, we *definitely* wouldn't have bought the place.

So if they block you in that’s ok? 
 

I would be calling Thames Valley Police each time. Surely the muppet is blocking you from accessing the Public Highway. 

[108]

Or just park close to your own gate, in your own garden. 
 

I realise I might be misunderstanding the layout but this shit shouldn’t be allowed. 

[RoverFolkUs]

Just crawl under the fucker (the car, not the cretin..!) - cut their Lambda sensors and as many other wires as possible  and an ABS sensor or two if you're feeling it 

[Split_Pin]

Wait,  can I just clarify, is this a private driveway for your use only?

I'd fucking tan the car if they parked on mine without any hesitation whatsoever. 

[sheffcortinacentre]

You can guarantee they'd go mental if you did same to them & they'd get away with any retaliation.

[reb]

Buy can of mackerel fillets.

Eat tasty fish.

Pour juices into scuttle vents.

Profit.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

1 minute ago, reb said:

Buy can of mackerel fillets.

Eat tasty fish.

Pour juices into scuttle vents.

Attract local wildlife, including cats.

Profit.

FTFY.

[New POD]

9 minutes ago, Split_Pin said:

Wait,  can I just clarify, is this a private driveway for your use only?

I'd fucking tan the car if they parked on mine without any hesitation whatsoever. 

Which is unfortunately criminal damage.  You have to think clever with these people. 

[reb]

Just now, GrumpiusMaximus said:

FTFY.

I do like cats, so this is a welcome chain of events.

[junkyarddog]

4 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

You've got two large dogs yes?

So you must have access to quite a lot of poo.

Smear said poo under all the door handles,and deposit a large one right outside the drivers door!

[Split_Pin]

Just set the dugs on them.

[goosey]

5 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

Years ago myself and a few work colleagues took turns in Pissing up the side of a Discovery 3 that was blocking the entrance to our unit, the ones who couldn’t piss in public pissed into a mop bucket that got tipped into the scuttle. We did this as it’s less obvious than poo but smells just as bad.

and the owner was an arse 

 

It was our Service Managers idea, the guy was an absolute nutter but one of the nicest people I’ve ever met 

 

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Surely the individuals who are using your driveway for free parking are blocking some of your own vehicles in? 

Would that not suggest that said individual is therefore preventing you from accessing a public highway? 

It sounds like you need to call the police and let them read the riot act to the cheeky swine!

[Remspoor]

Oh this is bringing out the nasties in all of us.
I would either spray the win screen with 3in 1, Put some pet food down the heater intake or superglue the door windows. None of these can be immediately put down to you, unless local bobby is  member of this forum.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

1 minute ago, Remspoor said:

Oh this is bringing out the nasties in all of us.
I would either spray the win screen with 3in 1, Put some pet food down the heater intake or superglue the door windows. None of these can be immediately put down to you, unless local bobby is  member of this forum.

Write 'paedo' in white spray paint on the door in letters two-foot high.

[High Jetter]

It's trespass,  but an arse to prove in law.

[mitsisigma01]

Why would it be an arse to prove when the fuckers parked on your driveway...

I thought it was private land so it is a civil matter rather than criminal...

Get someone else (or a car that's not registered in your name) to park right up behind them and say they have fkd off and you don't know who they are ....🤷‍♂️

[Pieman]

If someone parked on my driveway, I would let them off with one warning.

If they did so again, I would call my local banger racing friends and tell them I had a free car waiting for them on my driveway.

[mitsisigma01]

1 hour ago, Dick Longbridge said:

Would that not suggest that said individual is therefore preventing you from accessing a public highway?

I've heard it is an offence to block you getting onto the road , but not an offence to prevent you from accessing your own driveway 🤷‍♂️

[LightBulbFun]

3 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Sadly it's then me who is wrong in the eyes of the law as I'm preventing them from accessing a public highway.  I did block one asshole who did this in once and was promptly read the riot act by Thames Valley Police who turned up about 90 seconds after I parked up.

 

see this is what makes me really fucking grumpy

I know your a throughly decent person

so why all this fucking bollocks happen to you

Drug deal going down? police not interested, someone doing doughnuts in-front of the police station? not interested

but you get fed up with someone parking on your land or heaven forbid down shift in your camper van while going towards a roundabout

and you get the book thrown at you by the police?!

 

like what the actual fuck?

why does this shit keep happening to such a decent person as yourself, I know your one of the most  decent human beings out there  and dont deserve any of it in the slightest

its completely unfair and it pisses me off on the highest order

and im frustrated because I wish I could do something about it!

[High Jetter]

9 minutes ago, mitsisigma01 said:

I've heard it is an offence to block you getting onto the road , but not an offence to prevent you from accessing your own driveway 🤷‍♂️

I think I heard the same, doesn't make sense.

[vulgalour]

1 hour ago, Remspoor said:

Oh this is bringing out the nasties in all of us.
I would either spray the win screen with 3in 1, Put some pet food down the heater intake or superglue the door windows. None of these can be immediately put down to you, unless local bobby is  member of this forum.

You just reminded me that a little blob of oil paint on top of the wiper blades works a treat too.  Hardly has to be anything and the more you try and wipe it away, the worse it gets.  Squirt of washer fluid tends to make it worse too.