The grumpy thread

[DSdriver]

Another reason found for disliking SUVs: the amount of spray they chuck up in torrential rain.

[Stanky]

yesterday I undertook a 180 mile journey to visit family, apart from a detour around a wreck on the A3 past Guildford and slow traffic on the M25 (quelle surprise) we made it in just under 5 hours including a stop for snacks and a wee.

 

What was odd, that everytime we stopped, there was a strong petrolly smell - so much so my daughter commented on it. When we stopped, I popped the bonnet and all was fine under there, so I carried on.

 

It wasn't until I got to my brother's house that it became apparent the fuel filter was leaking under the pressure of the pump in the tank. bumhats.

So today I went to ECP to get a new filter, procured it and went home to fit it. Lying in wet grass and mud in the sleet and rain fiddling with a black fuel filter, with black lines and black clips is shit.

 

I managed to get 1 off without too much bother but the rear one wasn't having any of it - it looked like there was an outer clip which should slide towards the filter, pushing the inner clip off the barb on the filter input but part of the clip had broken and it wasn't moving anywhere.

 

In the end I had to ring around several garages to see if anyone could help - managed to get it into one this afternoon as I had the part already. They confirmed the clip had been mangled previously and had to cut the end off then fit a new fuel hose and clip to attach it back again and get it working properly.

 

Its now fuel-tight and I'm incredibly grateful they were able to help at such short notice but I'm now £85 lighter, and lost about a gallon of fuel over the 180 mile trip I reckoned. Apologies to any bikers though I hope the rain and sleet will have washed it all away by now.

 

The clips are a utterly stupid design - the front one is easy to deal with, just pinch the top and the 'teeth' release their grip and the pipe comes off the filter. The rear one is designed by someone who clearly hated the world - why couldn't they just use two of the same?

 

Anyway, fixed now ready for the drive back tomorrow but what a kerfuffle.

[M'coli]

I did some "tidying up/recycling of shit magazines and that" type housework yesterday, and I thought that having stirred up the dust my lungs/asthma was giving me hassle. I thought it would get better overnight, but it's not - I have a chest infection.

 

So the message is:- don't do housework, it's bad for your health.

[Bucketeer]

FIRST WORLD PROBLEM ALERT.

I'm in a car buying mood today but I'm struggling to find anything remotely interesting to buy. I've rinsed Ebay, Gumtree, etc and yet I still own no more cars than I did yesterday. Woe is me.

[Soap Distant]

Hang around here for five minutes and HMC will be selling something.....

[chaseracer]

Alfa 147...? 

[eddyramrod]

FIRST WORLD PROBLEM ALERT.

I'm in a car buying mood today but I'm struggling to find anything remotely interesting to buy. I've rinsed Ebay, Gumtree, etc and yet I still own no more cars than I did yesterday. Woe is me.

How much have you got?  I have something extremely interesting here, and you've already ridden in it...

[320touring]

FIRST WORLD PROBLEM ALERT.

I'm in a car buying mood today but I'm struggling to find anything remotely interesting to buy. I've rinsed Ebay, Gumtree, etc and yet I still own no more cars than I did yesterday. Woe is me.

Bmw E36 auto?

[Bucketeer]

How much have you got?

Not enough, unfortunately.

 

Bmw E36 auto?

Soz Neil, I am yet to meet a 3 series BMW that I would want to drive, let alone own.

 

I got all excited about various cars today only to discover that Footman James don't consider them 'classics'. How can my '94 AX and 900 both be 'classics' whereas a '93 Calibra, an '88 Senator, several 4/7/900 Volvos and various other things that fancy my tickle are not 'classics'.

[320touring]

Ah, no worries! Shy weans get no sweets

[Hendry]

Just reading all these replies about light switches, dont all cars automatically switch off their fog lights when the ignition is switched off, or at least make you do it?

 

Your Renaults, Peugeots and Citroens and Jap stuff with the lights on the indicator stalk, I think these go off by themselves because you twist an inner collar on the stalk to operate them and the collar jumps back to a central position after switching them on/off, you cant leave them in a permanently on setting, Fords and Vauxhalls have separate buttons down by your right knee next to the headlight dial switch which go off with the ignition and you need to press the button.

 

VW/Seat/Skoda/Audi you pull out the headlight switch dial to operate the fogs, its not possible to have the fogs on with auto lights setting on the dial, trying to pull the dial out when in auto setting for fogs twists the stalk to the manual light control settings, and I think it goes loopy at you when you switch the engine off and remove the key because the lights are left on because on a manual sidelights/dipped headlights setting with.without fogs on by pulling the dial out, so the dial automatically pushes itself in to switch fogs off as you return to auto or off settings.

 

I wouldve thought this was a mandatory requirement so people didnt ignorantly drive around with fogs on?

 

when driving a VW though its easy to forget either the front or rear is on, one of them when switched on puts a light on the instrument panel to remind you they are on, the other just lights up a part of the light switch itself when its on, which you dont really look at whilst driving. 

 

I dislike fog lights on the rear, front ones dont bother me, its these bright blue HIDs/Xenons on Merc/Audi/BMW which blind you worse than a main beam as you approach, they are far worse than any other lights tbh. Ive enabled the fog lights on my car as cornering fog lights so if you indicate with the headlights on the corresponding front fog comes on, or if the lights are on and you turn the steering wheel e.g. for a bend the one on the side you are steering towards will come on. I dont see why they are illegal to use in good visibility because they dont seem to blind people, however I also dont see the point of them even in poor visibility, fog etc. because they have never improved visibility for me anytime ive used them on any car. 

[PhilA]

All our recent modern cars have had fog lights on the front (regulation here states rear ones are legal but not a requirement). They've all been on a momentary push switch which switches them off when the ignition is turned off. They're pretty useless here in my opinion. The ones on my pickup truck are 20 Watts and don't really seem to have a discernable effect upon the road. I think they light up the street a few feet in front of the vehicle, which is pointless because you can't actually see the street there because the front end of the truck is in the way. I consider them pointlessly dazzling also because the bulbs have no shield in front of them to prevent scattered light from coming out of the lens.

 

Challenger had similar lights, 25W bulbs which added a little more forward light. Bulbs were a bit better with a daub of black paint on their tips.

 

Cherokee has HID headlights and LED fog lights- both of which are correctly set and don't dazzle. The fogs widen the light beam significantly near to the vehicle. Not so useful because they are mounted half way up the bumper.

 

Fitted new ones to the Renault because the old ones were broken- because the car had them from new. They're set right but hardly get used.

 

Either way, they're all moderately useless here because Federal regulation states headlights must be on in order for fog lights to be switched on, and they must go off with the high beam lights being switched on.

 

I fitted a set of Ring Microline round fogs to my Fiat when I was in the UK, as the fog up in the Mendip hills in Somerset can get to real pea-soup proportions. Those were mounted way down low, adjusted correctly (wide, narrow beams with metal caps over the bulbs so the only light was focused from the reflector into the lens) and I had the relay switched so they would operate with the side lights on so I wouldn't forget and leave them on accidentally. In really thick fog at night, switching headlights off and running with side+fog was there only way to be able to make progress. Headlights just made a bright haze in front of the car and hid the street. If there was an oncoming vehicle, I would pull over and put my headlights on until they passed and carry on (thin, country back roads). I wouldn't drive with them on pointlessly though did one time get pulled over in the pissing rain at night and got asked why I had my front fog lights on- I pointed out to the police man, who was shielding his head with his clipboard that the rain was so fierce it was making the badly painted road markings hard to see, particularly at a distance, making visibility low range. He conceded and told me to turn them off and left it at that.

 

Are the UK regs still the same as ten years ago? When I was there you could have front fog light(s) on independent of any other light, and the rear could only be switched on once the fronts were on. Both needed a visible tell-tale inside the vehicle in the driver's line of sight.

 

I don't drive with them on unless they are actually useful to either myself or other people. The front ones are useful for me, rear ones are the same as the horn- to indicate your presence in a situation you may not otherwise be seen.

 

 

Phil

[MikeR]

my Focus light switch  will only let me put the fogs on once the side or dip are on ... then all is off when the switch is at off .... quite a nice set up ...

[Cheezey]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D-wSRYbWJvU

[Wack]

Adrian flux insured my 2003 Range Rover as a classic for £230 fully comp with 0% NCB on it so it might be worth a call

Not enough, unfortunately.

 

 

Soz Neil, I am yet to meet a 3 series BMW that I would want to drive, let alone own.

 

I got all excited about various cars today only to discover that Footman James don't consider them 'classics'. How can my '94 AX and 900 both be 'classics' whereas a '93 Calibra, an '88 Senator, several 4/7/900 Volvos and various other things that fancy my tickle are not 'classics'.

Adrian flux insured my 2003 Range Rover as a classic for £230 fully comp with 0% NCB on it so it might be worth a call

 

Oddly though it was only after I added my wife as a named driver that these companies became available

[Craig the Princess]

Not enough, unfortunately.

 

Soz Neil, I am yet to meet a 3 series BMW that I would want to drive, let alone own.

 

I got all excited about various cars today only to discover that Footman James don't consider them 'classics'. How can my '94 AX and 900 both be 'classics' whereas a '93 Calibra, an '88 Senator, several 4/7/900 Volvos and various other things that fancy my tickle are not 'classics'.

Very odd, our Volvo 940 is on a Footman James classic policy.

[cort16]

I got quite a cool little drone thing for Christmas . On its maiden voyage it took off, went about 6 ft in the air then flew straight into the sink that was full of water. Total flight time until death - 7 seconds .

 

I took this little drone apart and let it dry out for a day or so. I managed to get it take off while in the kitchen but fearing another dunk in sink I took it into the living room where I flew it into Mrs C's head, got it tangled in her hair and had to to be cut out with scissors. Probably best I just put it away now.

[Bucketeer]

What year is your 940 CtP?

FJ were having none of an 'R' reg 940 estate.

[mat_the_cat]

In really thick fog at night, switching headlights off and running with side+fog was there only way to be able to make progress.

 

That is my experience too - the only time front fogs have made a significant difference is on the rare occasions the fog is so thick that even dipped beam is being reflected back at you. But some cars force you to turn on the fronts before you can turn on the rears, removing the choice!

[beko1987]

I took this little drone apart and let it dry out for a day or so. I managed to get it take off while in the kitchen but fearing another dunk in sink I took it into the living room where I flew it into Mrs C's head, got it tangled in her hair and had to to be cut out with scissors. Probably best I just put it away now.

Smooth!

[Guest Hooli]

I don't know if the rear fogs on the Saab stay on when you switch the lights/car off & on again as I've never used them. The fronts do though & they can be handy in thick mist/fog down back roads by picking out the verges better than the headlights.

[cort16]

Aye I'm like the Fonz

[DeeJay]

She'll never believe you didn't do it on purpose and it will be brought up against for the rest of your born days.

[Wack]

She'll never believe you didn't do it on purpose and it will be brought up against for the rest of your born days.

Isn't that amazing , something that happened 15 years ago comes out in a fit of Tourette's when you're having an argument , even if she didn't mean to say it it's there stored away in the "you bastard" area of the brain

[Datsuncog]

I swear I should take up knitting or something. Much less stressful.

Um... am I to guess you have limited experience around knitters? Mrs DC knits. She knits and crochets wonderous, complex garments using specialist yarns and implements. She also has a swearing vocabulary that would put most dockers to shame, and most evenings are spent in a heated battle with ill-proofed patterns, uncooperative yarn and miscounted rows with unwanted stitches requiring a total rip-back of the night's work.

 

As I write this, half a shawl is being torn out amidst furious snarls and colourful imprecations against the designer and their progeny, unto the seventh generation. I've begun to wonder whether I should try to get her onto crack in a quest for a quieter life for us both. It may prove slightly cheaper than gin, the knitters' friend, in the long run.

 

If you love it, it will hurt you. That goes for needlecraft as much as ropey old motors. PHACT.

 

 

ETA: ^^ From her knitting forum: a thread entitled "How to fuck up a sweater"

 

And the half-shawl has now gone into the hearth to its fiery doom.

[dollywobbler]

Fer fecks sake. I don't know why I bother doing owt on my cars.

 

The screenwash on the jag stopped coming out after I put in some fancy shit. I press the button and the wipers move but no screenwash. I checked the fuse and it was okay (well, it still didn't work with a different fuse from something else) so assumed it must be gunked up with crud, maybe something the new screenwash reacted with. 

 

So today I spend about 2 friggin' hours removing the screenwash reservoir. First the plastic undertray wouldn't come off as the torx screws were all rusty and rounded like a bunch of bastards. Finally got most of it off, so that I could fold it back and hold it there with a wheel off the Visa and get access to the washer bottle. Result.

 

Now onto getting the bottle out. Removed the pump and the screenwash and give the filter a blowie and it seems fine. Undid the 4 bolts holding the reservoir in place, couple gave a struggle but they came out okay eventually.

 

Now to get the bottle out......oh hang on there is a plastic cover that was obviously fitted after the washer bottle thats stopping me taking it out. 20 minutes of moving the thing around at every conceivable angle is followed by a moment of rage where i smash it past the obstruction successfully. Result.

 

Then puzzlement ensues as the top of the bottle is too big for the hole. I look at it again, and the filler neck is about a foot longer. Nice design feature to be able to lift up the neck whilst filling it. Wish I had known that before instead of hunting for a funnel each time. Noted for next time.

 

With the extending head removed it came out quite easily. Had a look in there. There is no filter (is that part of the pump?) but there is a fair bit of crud, including a leaf. I have no idea how that got in there as there is a small plastic filter on the top to stop that ever happening . I can only assume I removed it for some reason and let the leaf get in as I am a friggin idiot. Still don't think there is owt to block it though but give it a clean and get the rouge leaf out.

 

Refitting is the reverse of the sequence above with similar rage to get the bottle back past the plastic cover. Put the pump back in place, fill it with some water and its crunch time. 

 

Nothing works. The windscreen wipers work as they should but when I press the screenwash button, they don't move as expected. A bit of screenwash came out (YAY - for a moment) but then stopped (Booo - for a prolonged period).

 

Am starting to think it might be a problem with the stalk now, or I have a problem with both the stalk and an intermittent washer motor.

 

Plus now I can't get the undertray back on. Because of the knackered screws I can't get it properly off either so it's just hanging under the car. Its too cold and I'm too pissed off to look at it today so will get drunk and worry about it tomorrow as I won't be able to use the car when I'm pissed anyway so its doing nothing that it would have been otherwise.

 

I swear I should take up knitting or something. Much less stressful.

 

I'm a bit late to this party but on the XJS I had last year, the wipers didn't operate with a screenwash prod if the level was low. Sensible when you think about it. I wish all cars did that, so you didn't just end up smearing shit all over the windscreen.

[beko1987]

Bloody hell, if my gooner ever did that I'd assume it was broken forever, rather than a feature...

 

(it does make sense though). Infact thinking about it the old one didn't pop the headlight washers up if the level was low. Guess when during mot test prep I found that out, and how many minutes I worried about it for as its a fail because xnenons

[SiC]

Bloody hell, if my gooner ever did that I'd assume it was broken forever, rather than a feature...

 

(it does make sense though). Infact thinking about it the old one didn't pop the headlight washers up if the level was low. Guess when during mot test prep I found that out, and how many minutes I worried about it for as its a fail because xnenons

Don't worry, it does just as stupid things with the wipers when the motor packs up. If it doesn't get the park switch triggering after so long, it decided that your wipers aren't broken completely and refuses to ever attempt to operate them until the ignition is cycled.

 

So if, like what happened to me and your wipers no longer work on speed position 1, you can't use position 2 as a backup. If you try, it'll wipe when on position 2 but once you move to off it will use the position 1 speed to park. However as position 1 speed doesn't work the wipers stop moving. Unless you get it exactly the correct park position, the Body Computer assumes that the park switch is broken and so disabled the wipers completely.

 

Even German cars aren't immune either. Our Aldi A4 won't wipe the windscreen if the bonnet is open. Good idea to prevent it catching the bonnet if you knock the stalk. Not so a good idea if your bonnet switch has just packed up and so it thinks the bonnet is open, it's pissing it down and you just want to get home... (Luckily not happened to me yet)

 

The headlight washer pumps inlets are usually higher than the windscreen washer pump inlets. This is so if you're low on washer fluid, you still have enough for the windscreen without wasting it on the lights. Our Civic, the Laguna and even the Aldi all do that. I think the Laguna just detected low fluid and didn't bother. The Aldi doesn't trigger the low fluid sensor until after the level is below the headlamp pump.

[wuvvum]

Don't Gooner headlight washers pop out under water pressure?  That'd explain why they don't appear when the fluid level is below the pump.

[SiC]

Don't Gooner headlight washers pop out under water pressure? That'd explain why they don't appear when the fluid level is below the pump.

Depends on the year. Phase 1 headlight washers were fixed on the bumper. Phase 2 popped out of the bumper under pressure.