The grumpy thread

[Metal Guru]

5 minutes ago, motorpunk said:

Black Range Rover, check.

Black wheels, check.

Parked on the corner of a T junction, check.

Parked on the wrong side of the road, check.

Parked next to a school, check.

Parked opposite a scout hut, check.

Lots of safe parking a few metres away, check.

 

 

Well you have to be close to your customers if you’re a drug dealer.

[wuvvum]

1 hour ago, kirton said:

(and would probably bar you from travelling the the USA, maybe not a bad thing?)

IIRC Zel's in-laws are in the US so that might cause some problems.

[motorpunk]

4 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

Well you have to be close to your customers if you’re a drug dealer.

Posh mummy dropping obnoxious fat kid at the Scout hut opposite is my guess. 

[sheffcortinacentre]

7 hours ago, kirton said:

!!!!s parking on your drive

many of the suggestions could end up with you having a conviction for criminal damage that wouldn't look good on your CV (and would probably bar you from travelling the the USA, maybe not a bad thing?).  Just remember the 11th Commandment if you do take action, and that these days must include CCTV in the locality and the possibility of a CCTV system in the car itself.

From reading the many postings on this subject in Speeed, Plod and the Law in Pistonheads it seems to me that there is nothing legal you can do if someone parks on your drive but doesn't block you in. Just ensure you have a vehicle that is blocked in so the police have something to act on.  If you do crack a legal way to deal with the problem do let us all know. 

Could Zelandeth park on the local school's drive whilst not blocking anyone in? Sideways across the drive if neccessary.   He might think himself lucky that the parking is only short term around school arriving/departing and that he's not close to an airport  and has someone leave their car for weeks.

Try parking like this on some local bigwigs property & I bet there's loads plod/court can do about it.

[omegod]

Parking on the drive,  pop under it and drain the fuckers oil, replace sump plug , a mile or three later they will lean their lesson 

[omegod]

I came out of work to a non start on my old fiesta today, not even a click of the starter  I gave the starter a whack with a pop rivet gun to no avail so called autoaid for the first time since joining them, pleasantly surprised when the guy turned up half an hour earlier than stated, one big whack from his bar and she was away again. I think driving through all the local flooded roads yesterday didn't help matters at all but new starter is on the cards 

[Mr Pastry]

7 minutes ago, omegod said:

Parking on the drive,  pop under it and drain the fuckers oil, replace sump plug , a mile or three later they will lean their lesson 

Yes, but sadly I think many drivers would be too stupid to make the connection.  If it was on my drive, I would just push it back off my property, with the aid of a big trolley jack if necessary.

[MikeR]

14 minutes ago, omegod said:

Parking on the drive,  pop under it and drain the fuckers oil, replace sump plug , a mile or three later they will lean their lesson 

quick turn of the oil filter , no oil to dispose of .. ?

[jakebullet]

How flat is the drive? Invest in wheel skates, roll into middle of road, profit.

Or go big like the farmer with the telehandler. 

 

[DavidB]

How does anyone clutching a carving knife not instantly lunge it directly into handbag faced, two bit, professional food warmer Gordon Ramsey’s map-of-Colorado-esque forehead while he is dishing out his criticisms, I don’t care if he’s ‘nice’ in real life, fuck him and his leathery, prematurely aged mummified casing. The fact he’s been doing the same thing for 15+ years, bothers me.

[Metal Guru]

While I get it that we should show some respect for the Queen’s death, I don’t see how this is achieved by cancelling TV programmes with “News Specials” and “tributes” all day long ( or is it going to be for 10 days). Firstly they are just reporting everything over and over every 10 minutes,  but worse than that , the “tributes” are either aimed at people with a mental age of 8 or less, tell you the same facts over and over ( I heard there were 15 PMs during her reign starting with Churchill, at least 15 times ), or act like you’d never heard of her before.

I thought they had planned for this day a long time ago, but it came across as cobbled together at the last minute.

As for parliament going into limbo for another 10days,  everything’s been in hold for 8 weeks as it is, we don’t need this and I’m sure it’s not what the Queen would want for the country. No one else is getting 10 days of for mourning. All MPs will be doing is competing to show who is the saddest about the Queen dying thinking it might get them votes.

Charles III could get an instant boost to his popularity (let’s face it , he’s a long way behind the Queen), by saying there’s no need to suspend parliament.

[cobblers]

35 minutes ago, Metal Guru said:

While I get it that we should show some respect for the Queen’s death

Why? Sure, she was polite and played the "solemn monarch" part pretty well, but her words are a lot different to her actions - the list of awful stuff she's done is as long as my arm. 

Watching people (friends, peers, people in the media) who I otherwise have a lot of respect for make these ridiculous, cringeworthy (usually paddington bear based) tributes to her makes my skin crawl and is a sad reminder of how deeply the brains of our nation have been poisoned by the long standing idea that some people are just born to rule over us plebs.

Self respecting grown men unironically using the word "ma'am"

 

It's the poor kids in the bunting factories that I really feel bad for.

Thank god  for youtube/netflix etc.

[andy18s]

Best thing Charles could do is dissolve parliament completely and start again.. 

[Datsuncog]

3 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

As for parliament going into limbo for another 10days,  everything’s been in hold for 8 weeks as it is, we don’t need this and I’m sure it’s not what the Queen would want for the country.

I agree with you, but a fair number of MPs and Cabinet members serve on the Privy Council and hold various other posts of state that are largely ceremonial - until something like the death of a reigning monarch occurs, and then suddenly they have specific duties to fulfil, so end up dashing around making sure proclamations are issued and trumpeters make the right noises at the right time and military gun salutes go off in Hyde Park and stuff.  

They're going to be flat-out for the next two weeks, initially just arranging the funeral and teeing up Charles as king (proclamation due tomorrow, after a load of pantomime involving the Accession Council - also MPs - assorted heralds, the City Marshal of London, and the Garter King of Arms) but also dealing with the clerical fallout of having to oversee the amendment of huge amounts of imagery and wording relating to the Queen from public buildings and civil documents. Parliamentary business - debates and Committee meetings - can't continue as normal under these circumstances.

Then there's the coronation to plan.

It's gonna be a boom time for those few left in the stationery, flagmaking and insignia trades, believe me.

[junkyarddog]

I've got to go to the UK later this month.

I'm guessing it will be bedlam?!

🙄

[omegod]

My employer has just sent round the offer of psychological support for anyone affected by her maj's demise 

FFS the worlds gone nuts 

[omegod]

1 hour ago, omegod said:

My employer has just sent round the offer of psychological support for anyone affected by her maj's demise 

FFS the worlds gone nuts 

On reflection I appreciate people who are bereaved may experience some difficulties but it was not framed at all in this way 

[fairkens]

1 hour ago, omegod said:

My employer has just sent round the offer of psychological support for anyone affected by her maj's demise 

FFS the worlds gone nuts 

Mine too. Apparently we can all take time during the working day to visit her lying in state and pay our respects.

 

 

 

Does anyone know any decent pubs in Westminster?

[MikeR]

every time my wife books a hol , things go tits up , last week its was a load of trouble with my sons tutors crying off with this and that .

one does not know it yet but they are getting replaced soon ...

this week ,   not only does her Majasty pass on , the car they are going to use plays up ..

so they are squashed into a C1 for a 200 mile trip down south , and lots of things they want to see , may be closed out of respect !! ....

ironically the british weather has not played up ...   yet

[Stanky]

2 minutes ago, fairkens said:

Mine too. Apparently we can all take time during the working day to visit her lying in state and pay our respects.

 

 

 

Does anyone know any decent pubs in Westminster?

fucking hell, thats a result - basically a free pass to reject any and all meetings for the next week and a half. "Nah m8, can't make it soz. Goin' 2 pay my respects innit"

[fairkens]

18 minutes ago, Stanky said:

fucking hell, thats a result - basically a free pass to reject any and all meetings for the next week and a half. "Nah m8, can't make it soz. Goin' 2 pay my respects innit"

I didn't think we'd met but that is a kwality impression of me tbftbf

[mitsisigma01]

At least Her Maj hasn't got to see what a fk up Truss and her asslickers are gonna make of the country 🇬🇧😞

[wuvvum]

3 hours ago, junkyarddog said:

I've got to go to the UK later this month.

I'm guessing it will be bedlam?!

🙄

I mean several national strikes have been called off out of respect so it might actually be less chaotic than usual, as long as you stay out of central London.

[wuvvum]

8 hours ago, cobblers said:

Why? Sure, she was polite and played the "solemn monarch" part pretty well, but her words are a lot different to her actions - the list of awful stuff she's done is as long as my arm. 

I am probably just old fashioned and / or out of touch, but I really don't get this modern trend (and I'm not just talking about the Queen here) of completely writing someone off just because they've done a few things that one disagrees with.  Nobody is all good or all bad, everyone is human and fallible, and everyone has different views on what is "right" and "wrong" in any given situation.

[New POD]

1 hour ago, MikeR said:

every time my wife books a hol , things go tits up , last week its was a load of trouble with my sons tutors crying off with this and that .

one does not know it yet but they are getting replaced soon ...

this week ,   not only does her Majasty pass on , the car they are going to use plays up ..

so they are squashed into a C1 for a 200 mile trip down south , and lots of things they want to see , may be closed out of respect !! ....

ironically the british weather has not played up ...   yet

Actually you are due to come to us, next Friday, and you can bring the dog too.  We can always take it swimming at dovedale 

[junkyarddog]

26 minutes ago, wuvvum said:

 central London.

Thankfully not.

[cobblers]

27 minutes ago, wuvvum said:

I am probably just old fashioned and / or out of touch, but I really don't get this modern trend (and I'm not just talking about the Queen here) of completely writing someone off just because they've done a few things that one disagrees with.  Nobody is all good or all bad, everyone is human and fallible, and everyone has different views on what is "right" and "wrong" in any given situation.

Totally agree with you on that front.

However, the hysterics that people are getting into over her death is just absolutely bonkers. She was born into a life of insane privilege (built on very dodgy foundations) and all she has done is appear personable for the past 75 years, and for some reason we have grown men wetting their pants on live TV about it. Motorsport companies tripping over themselves to be the first to post some soppy rubbish on twitter and people losing their minds that not everyone cares that she's dead.

 

[wuvvum]

Fair enough - yes, grown men who have never met her crying in public seems a little over the top to me as well.  Still, to each their own, live and let live etc.

 

Edited to add: appearing personable for 75 years is no mean feat in itself, especially considering some of the cunts she must have had to deal with over that period.  I certainly wouldn't have managed it.

[Fumbler]

Something or someone managed to chip the paint on my newly painted wing, straight down to the steel.

I'll fix it but sometimes I wonder why I even bothered in the first place.

 

[brownnova]

Flintshire County Council Streetscene department are absolutely fucking shite!!!

I applied for a trailer permit to go to the tip 8 weeks ago. It said it would take a maximum of 15 working days to arrive. You had to state the car which would be towing it and there were certain vehicles which were not permitted, namely vans, pickups and campervans. I applied using my only vehicle with a tow bar, the 7 seat people carrier, the Pontiac. Having waited the requisite 15 days I started calling and got told it was in hand etc etc… On day 37 (!) I got an email saying that I could not have a trailer permit as my vehicle is not a permitted vehicle… they said it was a van. 

Its a fucking people carrier you dense morons! I even sent you a fucking picture so you wouldn’t get confused by it’s being an import.  It has windows and 7 fucking seats! It’s not a van or a pickup. I’ve emailed to explain in language they might understand… “it’s similar in size and layout to a Vauxhall Zafira” literally the hardest words I’ve ever had to type.

I did ask my wife for help… her email suggestion may not have made it any better:

Oh but there’s more!
It’s the same department who collect the bins. They missed our bin collection two weeks ago 2nd time in 4 collections… 50% miss rate, my bin couldn’t be more obvious and not be literally in the path of the double decker buses which go past the house. I reported it, they said it would be collected in 24 hours… that was 10 days ago and it’s all still here. I even reminded them 5 days later. I might get flashing lights and a huge neon arrow so they don’t miss it this week. 

Absolute useless bellend cunts.