What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Bren]

They have already erected a hospital in china to deal with the corona virus. It would take longer than that to fill a pothole here.

I only hope the hospital is better quality than the chinese death rings on all corners of my car.

[richardmorris]

 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Finding out that a friend and I went hacking close to a nudist campsite

Think we might ride a bit closer next time out.

[Saabnut]

Massive grin from me today, it actually started yesterday but it has not faded at all! After 4 years of no work (I am a day rate contractor and my industry (oil and gas) has been decimated since 2014) but yesterday I was offered a contract starting next month. May only be a few days, may be lots, but that is the nature of the game and I will take anything. I can get.

Of course first I had to get a new Offshore Medical (done this morning), a certificate of fitness for diving (for the re-breather (done this morning) and then I have to renew my offshore survival certificate, just booked and doing it Thursday. I hate the survival, they will try to kill me by setting fire to my world, then try to drown me in a pool and if that does not work turn me upside down, underwater in a simulated helicopter.

For the pleasure* of the above, my chod buying fund has been relieved of almost a kilopound.

Still grinning though!

[cobblers]

I had probably the best nights sleep in recent memory last night, out in a field in the camper with the new heater ticking over keeping me nice and warm and lulling me off to sleep. A big pub dinner and a couple of pints probably helped too.

 

Woke up rested and warm to this:

I wasn't expecting snow!

I decided to take the scenic route to work since I've got mega knobbly OLLIREMOULDS on, nothing can stop me right?

The tyres are unsurprisingly quite decent on snow, but most of it was sheer ice so I must admit there was quite a few moments where I regretted going off the beaten track so far. Brilliant way to start the day though, I have been in a good mood ever since.

 

[Joey spud]

Well that's my weekend ruined. ?

[cort16]

 

[SiC]

  On 28/01/2020 at 20:06, cort16 said:

 

Expand  

Genuinely had that when the MGB was playing up earlier this month. Even more so when I was in the smart* motorway zone on the M4/M5 interchange. 

[SiC]

  On 28/01/2020 at 17:14, Joey spud said:

Well that's my weekend ruined. ?

Expand  

I did check, it was photoshopped.

[Craig the Princess]

  On 28/01/2020 at 20:23, SiC said:

I did check, it was photoshopped.

Expand  

Contact is clearly a euphemism.

[face]

Talking of drawing knobs on everything, a couple of years back I moved back to the village where I spent my formative years. I’m an 11th generation villager BTW. At least that actually.

Back in the mid 80s my mates and I would frequent the (glorious) brick built bus shelter in the village centre for smoking and general japery. During this time marker pens were employed on the odd occasion for drawing, in said shelter, a fine collection of cocks, minges and a wonderful collection of profanities.

They’re all still there, clear as day.

The Christmas just gone, my (lovely) neighbours popped round to ask me if I would like to walk my children up to the bus shelter as Santa Claus is visiting. All the children from the village are going etc.

I made a pathetic excuse and didn’t go. Probably for the best.

[Alan_Green]

 

[rainagain]

  On 28/01/2020 at 09:21, Alan_Green said:

If you liked the Cameroonian taxis search for documentary called "Hulk Through Hell" on YouTube.  It follows people taking the 3 week journey up the Congo River in a huge boat.  Just amazing.  Real heart of darkness stuff.  And as someone on reddit said, "Watch this and you'll never complain about anything in your life again". 

Expand  

Have you got a link, when I search this I got all sorts of Marvel stuff but nothing about a boat. 

[paulplom]

Started painting my bathroom yesterday in a wilkos colour called bali. You can't really see it in the picture but it should be re-named invacar blue.
It's all I'm going to be thinking about everytime I go in to curl one out.

Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk
 

[mitsisigma01]

Trying to make an appointment at "doctors" over the phone... Sorry nothing available until middle of next week.... 

I happened to be walking past just now, popped in and tried at the desk.... Only one appointment left, tomorrow afternoon... 

The queue had gone down, so I whispered to the receptionist, big bleed from down below.... Oh 3 o'clock this afternoon then... 

Unfortunately it's with the same useless twat that I saw before Christmas who sent me to physio, who then said 14-16 week delay to even see anyone... 

Wish me luck ?

[Alan_Green]

  On 29/01/2020 at 12:48, rainagain said:

Have you got a link, when I search this I got all sorts of Marvel stuff but nothing about a boat. 

Expand  

 

[cort16]

Jonny Smiths comment that people who think Vauxhall’s r shit are Luton intolerant .

Made me laugh anyway .

[Cavcraft]

After just short of 10 months living the highlife pissing about buying hopeless motorbikes and scooters, going to the tip and walking the dog etc I've just landed another job.

[cobblers]

I hope its as a tip nazi 

[Aston Martin]

 

[richardmorris]

  On 29/01/2020 at 13:01, paulplom said:

Started painting my bathroom yesterday in a wilkos colour called bali. You can't really see it in the picture but it should be re-named invacar blue.
It's all I'm going to be thinking about everytime I go in to curl one out.

Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk
 

Expand  

Glass panelled door a bold choice for the toilet!

[vulgalour]

It's got privacy glass, what's the problem?

[Wack]

Grumpy cat is dead

Long live even grumpier cat 

 

[richardmorris]

He/she doesn’t look happy, what did you do?

[High Jetter]

Did you mean to order an evil one?

[Wack]

  On 29/01/2020 at 20:07, richardmorris said:

He/she doesn’t look happy, what did you do?

Expand  

Just a picture off t'internet 

[Cavcraft]

  On 29/01/2020 at 17:23, cobblers said:

I hope its as a tip nazi 

Expand  

Would genuinely love a job there.

[danthecapriman]

I took my work van in for it’s service this week, when I dropped it off at the garage I always use they asked if there was anything else I knew of that wanted doing so I thought I’d take a chance and see if they could have a look at why there’s a horrendous vibration noise coming from the bulkhead area. I didn’t expect much really coming of it and thought it’d just be ‘they all do that sir’!

Its a 66 plate Sprinter and it’s been like this since new (poor QC imho delivering new vehicles like that but...). It’s only at certain times but when it starts vibrating/rattling it’s fucking irritating like you wouldn’t believe. It’s so loud it’ll drown out the radio! I’d tried all sorts myself to fix it but gave up in the end as nothing seemed to cure it.

Anyway, I got a call today saying it was ready and they’d fixed the noise! They said it took a while to find what was causing it but seemingly these vans are fitted with an anti theft device on their exhaust, which is basically a chain strap across it to hinder anyone trying to slice the valuable bits of the exhaust off. After spending ages looking at various things to stop it, it was this chain that was slightly slack and was resting on the exhaust. Then at around 2k rpm-ish it would hit the sweet spot and cause the noise! Apparently it’s right under the bulkhead so the noise was just travelling up the panel. They’ve simply bent the chains mounting bracket a bit to increase tension on the chain and stop it rattling! Easy, once you’ve found it!

I drove it home today, and my god! It’s glorious! No horrible sounds, no rattles and no noise like someone’s using a jackhammer on the back of your head as your driving. I know it sounds like a stupid grin, but spending the time I have to driving that van it’s made me a very happy boy!

[Saabnut]

  On 29/01/2020 at 16:37, Cavcraft said:

After just short of 10 months living the highlife pissing about buying hopeless motorbikes and scooters, going to the tip and walking the dog etc I've just landed another job.

Expand  

Congratulations - must be the week for it!

Looks like mine is going to start quicker than I thought, not confirmed yet but looks like they want me in Stavanger Monday morning! Just got to live through the survival course tomorrow!

[Sir Chocolate Teapot]

Great news for Great Britain i see, no not that eu thing, the Wombles are back to clean the place up. Wish they would come over here in italy to give some lessons to this mucky lot.