What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Datsuncog]

^^^ I've said it before, and I'll say it again: dem yarn hoars is fierce.

[cort1977]

You have introduced me to a new emotion 'mitten envy'.

[Landy Mann]

I'm sure there was a quality* repairs thread somewhere, however this made me grin; a home made Holden Astra wing mirror.

 

[Guest Hooli]

The answer came back, "well, they can certainly ask, but I will tell them to fuck away off up their own holes."

 

 

:-D

[MorrisItalSLX]

The tat you find in antique shops (and then consequently buy because you have no self control):

 

 

To be fair, I did actually need some new cuff links.

 

 

Sex on a stick.

[New POD]

We did a fly drive to Venice, car hire for two days was cheaper than a transfer and there are quite a few roads around the edges, it’s not quite like the pics you see on tv (well the main tourist bits are). It’s also shit, smells, is totally in existence to rip visitors off and is a crap hole of epic proportions. And that is coming from someone who loves Italy and would happily move to the chaos that is Rome or Naples, but Venice? Nah.

We had a great time in Venice. Went in the May so the smells were not so bad. Got a speed boat from the airport to our hotel which was fairly central.

 

Ate in some proper back street places. Not expensive. Had a day trip to a couple of the smaller islands and saw some really decent glass art which I couldn't afford.

[New POD]

There's an ad running on the tellybox for Expedia. Book your flights, hotel and car hire in one. What destination do they show you as a shining example?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Venice. Right, ok.....

Its a poor place to advertise because tourists are killing it.

[Tamworthbay]

We had a great time in Venice. Went in the May so the smells were not so bad. Got a speed boat from the airport to our hotel which was fairly central.

Ate in some proper back street places. Not expensive. Had a day trip to a couple of the smaller islands and saw some really decent glass art which I couldn't afford.

I think time of year makes a difference, Both times we have been there were mid summer and the last one in the middle of the heatwave last year. But when it’s 45 degrees and they threaten to fine your daughter for trying to rest in the shade for a few seconds it’s hard to think of it as anything other than a rip off shit hole.

[Aston Martin]

The last time I went abroad you still saw Toyota Paseos and Jimmy Saville was still diddlling kids... Which means I need a passport interview.

 

The Hull office don't interview on a weekend, Leeds do and I can have it at 8:15am next Saturday or 3:45pm. I know they're just a formality, but this confirmation email tickled me.

 

You'll need to pass through a security gate and have your belongings x-rayed when you arrive. Leave any sharp items (such as scissors) at home to avoid delays.

So, what you're saying is some people have brought scissors to a passport interview?

 

Does the delay involve getting locked up for 6 months?

 

How do I apply for a job as an interviewer, I bet they see some weird people.

[Pillock]

I bet there's some old women who just take everything everywhere, full sewing kit / knitting needles etc.

[BavarianRetro]

We did a fly drive to Venice, car hire for two days was cheaper than a transfer and there are quite a few roads around the edges, it’s not quite like the pics you see on tv (well the main tourist bits are). It’s also shit, smells, is totally in existence to rip visitors off and is a crap hole of epic proportions. And that is coming from someone who loves Italy and would happily move to the chaos that is Rome or Naples, but Venice? Nah.

That's better than my recollection of it.

 

It's up there with The Belfry, the total solar eclipse and the Millennium Bug as the biggest over rated anticlimactic experiences.

[320touring]

That's only cos you expected 4 sausages and 2 eggs as part of the Belfry;)

[anonymous user]

I bet there's some old women who just take everything everywhere, full sewing kit / knitting needles etc.

My old boss failed a security check in a Welsh Government office as his car key ring had a tiny pair of folding scissors on it

[BavarianRetro]

That's only cos you expected 4 sausages and 2 eggs as part of the Belfry;)

The Belfry was just a huge expensive disappointment. Like a Range Rover. Played better courses in Ireland for €30 including four sausages and two eggs.

[DodgeRover]

The last time I went abroad you still saw Toyota Paseos and Jimmy Saville was still diddlling kids... Which means I need a passport interview.

 

The Hull office don't interview on a weekend, Leeds do and I can have it at 8:15am next Saturday or 3:45pm. I know they're just a formality, but this confirmation email tickled me.

 

So, what you're saying is some people have brought scissors to a passport interview?

 

Does the delay involve getting locked up for 6 months?

 

How do I apply for a job as an interviewer, I bet they see some weird people.

Being fair I always have a penknife in my pocket unless going somewhere that you aren't allowed them.

[Alfamale]

The Belfry was just a huge expensive disappointment. Like a Range Rover. Played better courses in Ireland for €30 including four sausages and two eggs.

Agree about the Brabazon, quite liked the Derby and PGA courses though.

 

Highlight of the brabazon was a mate taking 18 on the 18th after putting 5 balls in the water in front of the green.

[myglaren]

Being fair I always have a penknife in my pocket unless going somewhere that you aren't allowed them.

I usually have a Leatherman or Mora knife.

 

[Aston Martin]

I've cropped the retailer. But this is an internal memo from a high street company....

[rainagain]

I wonder why they use cheese?

[Aston Martin]

I wonder why they use cheese?

I guy I despise once refunded a customers TV. The box was full of bricks... The customer had ready left.

[SiC]

When I worked in b&q about 15 years ago, we got told to always open up the drill boxes when doing returns. Often a house brick was put in to make it feel about the correct weight and shaking it sounded about right too.

 

I guess cheese as it's easy to shape into phone shape and similar sort of mass too.

[LightBulbFun]

reminds me of stories from the various lightbulb shops id hang out in during my younger years

 

people would buy a lightbulb then come back saying "oh sorry wrong type/length" only for it to have actually been the right lightbulb but they put the old dead one in the new ones box...

 

(and iv known collectors to get stung by this, they see a lightbulb on the shelf they like the look of, buy it take it out of the box and see someones swapped it out)

[myglaren]

https://www.facebook.com/tom.patrick.9250/videos/1499375658252/

[Timewaster]

A guy I worked with bought a TV off the back of a van.

 

The TV was an empty case with a few bricks inside and the remote was a piece of wood.

 

Years and years ago, in the 60s my dad bought as shirt from a guy selling out of a suitcase.

 

When he got it out of the pack it was just a collar and 1ft square of material.

 

Seemed like a lot of effort to go to for a con. making half a shirt.

 

Where I worked before we were always being offered carpet from some Irish gentleman who had just finished carpeting some offices.

 

Must have happened more times than the are offices in this town.

 

Quite what the scam was there I never worked out.

[Tamworthbay]

A massive grin for the Thai nurse looking after my Mum at the Royal in Derby, for making sure she had something to eat even though she didn’t want one of the five choices (fussy old beggar), then bringing extra biscuits for my 2 year old niece and for obviously giving a damn.

 

And the NHS, yet again for the care and attention I have seen today makes me proud to be British, the way everyone has looked after her is fantastic, and not just the technical bits you expect but the way she has been spoken to to and cared for. They are bloody amazing. I went up today and she is like a different person from yesterday, the drugs have kicked in obviously and my stress levels have dropped immensely.

 

I love the NHS. If Nye Bevan himself had walked around there today he would be immensely proud of what he started all those years ago.

[Eddie Honda]

Its a poor place to advertise because tourists are killing it.

 

Never mind Bond wrecking the place...

 

[fordperv]

A massive grin for the Thai nurse looking after my Mum at the Royal in Derby, for making sure she had something to eat even though she didn’t want one of the five choices (fussy old beggar), then bringing extra biscuits for my 2 year old niece and for obviously giving a damn.

 

And the NHS, yet again for the care and attention I have seen today makes me proud to be British, the way everyone has looked after her is fantastic, and not just the technical bits you expect but the way she has been spoken to to and cared for. They are bloody amazing. I went up today and she is like a different person from yesterday, the drugs have kicked in obviously and my stress levels have dropped immensely.

 

I love the NHS. If Nye Bevan himself had walked around there today he would be immensely proud of what he started all those years ago.

This is what the country needs to hear, most people are only bothered about telling the not so good experiences and don't tell good experiences that show the compassion, respect and empathy that the majority of the staff have for people even though they are understaffed underpaid and over stressed, I work in care and I smile like a Cheshire Cat when my manager comes and finds me to pass compliments and feedback that relatives have given to her about my work it makes the shit days where I'm doing 3 peoples jobs fade to grey

 

It's great to read that your mum is doing good

[Tamworthbay]

This is what the country needs to hear, most people are only bothered about telling the not so good experiences and don't tell good experiences that show the compassion, respect and empathy that the majority of the staff have for people even though they are understaffed underpaid and over stressed, I work in care and I smile like a Cheshire Cat when my manager comes and finds me to pass compliments and feedback that relatives have given to her about my work it makes the shit days where I'm doing 3 peoples jobs fade to grey

It's great to read that your mum is doing good

It really bugs me how fast people are to complain and then ignore good service. We made sure to thank the nurses before we left and I will email the hospital once she is home. The number of people who make genuine difference to people’s lives and never get recognition bugs me. If I was in charge of the honours system there wouldn’t be any footballers or actors getting awards for doing well off something they enjoy, it would be people like the ones we have come across today.

[Noel Tidybeard]

The moment you realise you can just ignore some people

 

Priceless

 

 

who said that?!? :mrgreen:

[richardmorris]

You'll have noticed it's cold at the minute.

My old gloves have rather fallen apart and despite being mended many a time (including the time I lost one and then found it three days later, utterly sodden in the gutter outside the station), they are not providing adequate insulation.

Tonight, MrsDC presented me with these wonderful things that she's been furtively working on:

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Yes, it's my own pair of custom-knit Autoshite mitts.

To say I am pleased is a massive understatement. It was a total surprise.

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Apparently, it's a reward for "not being a complete arsehole." This is a new one on me, but I'll take any praise I can muster.

I also asked what might happen if other shiters took a shine to these unique creations, and requested replicas.

The answer came back, "well, they can certainly ask, but I will tell them to fuck away off up their own holes."

Knitters, eh? So fluffy and genteel.

But this is why we rub along pretty well...

 

 

At the risk of offending the killer knitter, is there a reason they’re pointy and not rounded?