What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[808 Estate]

[robinmasters]

14 hours ago, Remspoor said:

Better than smelling like a tramp or fishmonger.

It really isn't. 

 

[Bren]

When your flatulence smells so funky that it makes the people around you angry....

[Mally]

I have a Saab with a working clutch.

This may or may not last, but it got me home.

Possibly still a bit of air in it, I'm not sure I've never had a Saab with a new clutch before.

Would I do the job  again?

Well if you gave me a car, and a new clutch possibly, but then again probably not.

[Wack]

14 hours ago, Bren said:

When your flatulence smells so funky that it makes the people around you angry....

That's the position I'm in at the moment , eaten something that's disagreed with me , smelliest farts I've even known , they're even offending me 

[Wack]

15 hours ago, robinmasters said:

It really isn't. 

 

In the 80s I knew a guy who was a fishmonger , he said the smell was in his pores , couldn't get rid of it , when he went out to pubs & nightclubs he said he could see people sniffing the air 

Can you smell fish 

[face]

Volume up.

 

[robinmasters]

10 hours ago, Wack said:

In the 80s I knew a guy who was a fishmonger , he said the smell was in his pores , couldn't get rid of it , when he went out to pubs & nightclubs he said he could see people sniffing the air 

That's Lynx for you. 

[Ghosty]

On 1/1/2022 at 11:13 PM, Bren said:

When your flatulence smells so funky that it makes the people around you angry....

A very good mate of mine has that problem, he also noticed that certain foods significantly affect his movements. 
He's type one diabetic and never thought much of it - I pointed out to him that he probably has IBS... 

 

[barmatt]

I'll happily clean fish, the worst for me is the smell that comes out of you after you've dressed any amount of game birds. Pheasant, partidge, even well mature turkeys. The smell gets through your skin and into your system, after that every fart stinks of rotting bird guts. 

I avoid it at all costs these days.

 

[mitsisigma01]

Back when I was young and had a job that got me unlimited use and free diesel for a brand new rental Bedford Astramax , when I wasn't traveling round Englands slaughterhouses collecting blood straight from the animals throats and getting van loads of cheap fresh meat, when we were quiet we used to skin and joint up Venison carcasses . We also used to do well hung pheasants and pigeons....after a day of machine plucking hundreds of birds it didn't matter how much you showered , even with Lynx type products, I could empty a busy pub on music gig nights with just one tiny little fart , they were horrendous almost vomit inducing . 🤮🤮🤮

But hey ho ,I put up with it for the Astramax and on other occasions a Bedford Bravo pick up or a Peugeot 505 at 19 years old 

[andy18s]

I was a trimmer at the abattoir that handled Jamie Oliver's 28 day hung beef for Sainsburys back in the day.

Instead of our usual 5-6 hour shift ( job and jack), we would run for 2 12 hour shifts to get it all through the lines in 1 go

Guys who had been there for years were retching,If anyone thought they were actually going to puke had to run to a designated area

Once done the whole building had it's regular deep clean and hygiene 8hr shift, but was repeated another 2 times

[Rab]

Due to my erratic travelling life disaster..where i leave a trail of negatives..cars-trucks and stuff ..some of it never to be seen again..especially photographs.. its always amazing when i do recover something..so in my final days in Munich 1992..i worked on the Art Projekt at the State Opera House..Lou Reed..Laurie Anderson..John Cale..John Zorn and Babes in Toyland. I was a lowly stagehand with a camera..so i befriended everybody..and i got Laurie Andersons portrait. Then..lost negatives. I did manage to give away a print to a friend in Berlin in 1993..and she just found it in her Mums attic.It was always the missing piece in that story..as it was Babes in Toyland who took me to Berlin...where i stayed until 1997.

[goosey]

A big thank you to whoever left the heating on in the workshop toilet today, the temps were “just right “ when I landed in there this afternoon 👌

[Andyrew]

I like to think the driver was pulling the same face just before impact.

[dozeydustman]

[808 Estate]

[Rab]

[AnnoyingPentium]

4 hours ago, Andyrew said:

I like to think the driver was pulling the same face just before impact.

These little cars always looked shocked anyway, bet you this one was shocked to see that car in front stopping so suddenly!

[MorrisItalSLX]

My parents gave me an old Polish telephone for Christmas which had a plug I’d never seen before, much research later and I found a chap in Lithuania who would sell me an adapter and post it to Australia.

Much to my surprise the adapter arrived today, just one week after I ordered it, so I plugged it all together and it works!

 

I am suitably impressed with the Soviet era Polish telephone manufacturers and the Lithuanian postal service.

[Wack]

2 hours ago, MorrisItalSLX said:

My parents gave me an old Polish telephone for Christmas which had a plug I’d never seen before, much research later and I found a chap in Lithuania who would sell me an adapter and post it to Australia.

Much to my surprise the adapter arrived today, just one week after I ordered it, so I plugged it all together and it works!

 

I am suitably impressed with the Soviet era Polish telephone manufacturers and the Lithuanian postal service.

I bough this from a charity shop a few weeks ago , plugged it in to test it and I love the ring , so 1960s , only scammers call us on this number so it's like a scammer alert 

[Fumbler]

I need to get another old bell phone. I currently have an AT&T 2500 clone that somehow made it to our shores. It's built so damn well it's unbelievable.

[JeeExEll]

Young lad started working with us a few weeks before Christmas. First time really living on his own. He asked about how to make a pan of veg soup using a bought veg-broth soup mix so I explained the basics.

Add some more chopped veg, stock cube and a little cornflower and some cooked meat of your choice. Let it simmer.

Silly cunt put in 2 frozen breaded haddocks from Asda.

He ate it too.

[Remspoor]

43 minutes ago, JeeExEll said:

Young lad started working with us a few weeks before Christmas. First time really living on his own. He asked about how to make a pan of veg soup using a bought veg-broth soup mix so I explained the basics.

Add some more chopped veg and a little cornflower and some cooked meat of your choice. Let it simmer.

Silly cunt put in 2 frozen breaded haddocks from Asda.

He ate it too.

At least he is trying. 9/10 for effort. One mark less for the fish.

[myglaren]

7 hours ago, Wack said:

I bough this from a charity shop a few weeks ago , plugged it in to test it and I love the ring , so 1960s , only scammers call us on this number so it's like a scammer alert 

Shame that BT are discontinuing landline phones.

https://www.efax.co.uk/blog/bt-2025-switch-off-how-will-it-impact-you-and-your-business

 

 chucked mine out years ago, sick to death of spam calls.  Hate phones at the best of times so a good excuse.

[somewhatfoolish]

Yeh but no; you will be able to plug your steam-powered phone into your router and pretend it's still the 20th century.

[PhilA]

18 hours ago, Fumbler said:

I need to get another old bell phone. I currently have an AT&T 2500 clone that somehow made it to our shores. It's built so damn well it's unbelievable.

Yeah, they were proper slam the handset down after a heated phone argument type equipment.

 

I need to hook up my payphone to the landline again. Make the kids pay to use it. 

[New POD]

14 hours ago, JeeExEll said:

Young lad started working with us a few weeks before Christmas. First time really living on his own. He asked about how to make a pan of veg soup using a bought veg-broth soup mix so I explained the basics.

Add some more chopped veg, stock cube and a little cornflower and some cooked meat of your choice. Let it simmer.

Silly cunt put in 2 frozen breaded haddocks from Asda.

He ate it too.

Years ago I wascworkingwith a graduate manufacturing engineer doing assembly work instructions. He only ever ate ready meals made in the microwave. 

One day he asked for advice on cooking a proper meal for a new girl friend. I pointed out that there were work instructions available in the library.

Or recipe books as they like to be called.  

I saw him about 10 years later.  He was married to said girl, and reckoned he now owned 50 recipe books at least. Said he was addicted to cooking from scratch.  Hadn't bought a ready meal since he bought that first book. 

 

[Saabnut]

15 hours ago, myglaren said:

Shame that BT are discontinuing landline phones.

https://www.efax.co.uk/blog/bt-2025-switch-off-how-will-it-impact-you-and-your-business

This worries me! Currently I rely on my landline, there is no mobile coverage at all at my house, and my internet is via ISDN via the copper cable. Said copper cable runs for 3/4 mile from the next door neighbours, has literally dozens of repairs and is unburied for most of its length, parts hung on a field fence, parts just lieing on the ground and parts probably grown in with grass. I cannot see them putting in 3/4 mile of fibre cable, trenching it in for 1 house with 1 occupant.

[AnnoyingPentium]

25 minutes ago, Saabnut said:

This worries me! Currently I rely on my landline, there is no mobile coverage at all at my house, and my internet is via ISDN via the copper cable.

We're the same. My mobile coverage is patchy at best and my internet is ISDN as far as I know. Thus being the joys of living in one of the most rural parts of East Ayrshire, however.