Historical novel help: different sort of project

[eddyramrod]

11 minutes ago, High Jetter said:

Nice, but there was  a metallic bronze, that folllowed through to the Chrysler 180.

Bronze is actually in contention, but one of my teachers had a white one, that I rode in once, so white is still top of the list, at the moment.

[High Jetter]

Was that a flat white?

[warren t claim]

5 hours ago, Missy Charm said:

I have come to a point of needing to describe a customised mark one Capri.  Does the following ring true?  There passage is bookended by text not reproduced here, for obvious reasons.  By way of scene setting, the car appears in a magazine article which is being read by one of the characters.  

First the Capri had been named: ‘Stardream’.  It had then gained an RS3100 rear spoiler, a deep steel front airdam and flared wheelarches.  The bodywork at the front had been altered to take Jaguar XJ-S quartz halogen headlights and a plain black radiator grille, to which was affixed a specially made chromium plated quad pointed star.  The rear had been changed too, with hexagonal, jewel-like taillights from a Datsun coupe fitted along with a louvre over the back window.  For brightwork the car retained the ordinary bumpers, which were supplemented by four spoke Appliance wheels and sidepipes with perforated heat-shields.  Power came from a supercharged Ford 351 driving a Jaguar axle by way of a four-speed manual gearbox.  The blower and air-scoop poked through a hole cut in the middle of the bonnet.  Best of all was the paintjob: electric blue metalflake on the body, with plainer Prussian blue on the bonnet and boot-lid.  The boot had an airbrushed mural of a spiral galaxy, done in shades of bluish white; the bonnet had another mural, the Jewel Box star cluster with the large stars painted in shades of emerald, ruby and sapphire.  There was more airbrushing on the sides, from the central swage line downwards.  Monica brought the magazine up to her nose for a closer look.  A gloss black backdrop, star speckled and traversed by little silver spacecraft with fire belching engines.  In the foreground was the name “Stardream”, picked out in futuristic, violet-purple letters.  The paint was thickly lacquered, glass-like.  Inside, the seats were upholstered in purple buttoned dralon and the floor covered in thick blue carpet.  The dashboard was covered in blue dralon and there were enough auxiliary gauges to rival a light aircraft.  Oddly, the unfashionably large two-spoke Capri steering wheel remained in place. 

As someone who was around back then I cannot recall ever seeing a Capri like that other than at the Belle View custom car show. Certainly a Capri like that wouldn't be a daily driver. No way would it be fitted with a 4 speed manual box either, an auto with a Hurst shifter would be more appropriate.  Can't say I've ever seen a Capri fitted with XJ-S headlights either.

 

[warren t claim]

2 hours ago, eddyramrod said:

This is a to be period piece, IIRC.  Back in the 70s and 80s many Capris were given the kind of treatment described.  Ditto Escorts, Cortinas, you name it, especially Fords.  I know, I was there.  Not doing such things myself, but certainly reading about, and associating with, people who did.  Nobody back then imagined these things would rival small houses in terms of price, 40 years later!

 

I am writing a sitcom with three friends, and they have accepted in principle that a classic car might be involved.  However I am the only person who "sees" the car in the scenes we write (tbf it's mostly in the background and is hardly ever seen moving) and who cares about what the actual car might be.  Current contender is a 1975 Sunbeam Rapier, preferably white.  Most readers, and this is a harsh reality for someone like me to admit, will not care about almost all the details of the car.  "A beautifully-painted customised Ford Capri" is quite enough description for most people until a specific detail is needed, eg "Sarah dug her cigarettes from her bag.  Jim spotted her action and reached with his left arm to stop her. 'I don't want you smoking in here,' he said.  'Look at all the fake-fur on the doors and dash; imagine how that could burn.'  Sarah nodded her understanding and put her cigarettes back."

@Missy Charm: good luck!

In the violent crime novel that when I've mastered reading and writing I'll get around to typing up, there's a scene where some poor twat gets tortured by being slammed under the bonnet of a Mk2 Lotus Cortina. The pain starts when someone fires up the engine whilst someone else jumps up and down on the bonnet. The Cortina later dies in another scene when the owner gets a severe beating in a concrete multi story car park. The owner hobbles his broken frame behind the wheel, starts the engine, and drives straight at the guy who beat him up slamming him against a wall. Both people seriously injured, the Cortina owner pulls a Zippo lighter out of his pocket, lights it causing them to both die in a massive fireball.

Another car scene involves two people disposing of the body of a dead call girl. They put her body between them on the front bench seat of a 1965 Ford Galaxie. During the drive they put the radio on and I Saw Her Standing There by the Beatles comes on giving them the giggles, miming to the song whilst using her body as some sort of prop.

Fast forward to the 30th of January 1983 and the protagonist has been tipped off that another gang is about to break into the safe house he's stashed a large amount of cash in and throws a sawn off into the boot of his metallic red, Mk2 Granada 2.8i facelift and thrashes it down the motorway to get there. Little does he know that he's under police observation  and due to get raided the following day when he's in possession of the money.  On the way he gets stopped for speeding by a police traffic officer in a Rover SD1 who radio's his details in only to be told that he's in danger of compromising a major investigation and he should find a way to let him go. Traffic officer walks back to the protagonist's Granada and tells him that he's lucky as the equipment in his Rover is faulty and he'll have to let him go. As a parting shot, the officer pulls on the Granada's seat belt and says "tomorrow?" as that was the date seat belt laws came into force.

[Mr Pastry]

8 hours ago, warch said:

Alan Bennett made his name by writing in a realistic style which recognises the idiosyncratic way people talk.

Going back to one of Missy's earlier excerpts, the character who really jumped out and hit me was the factory Inspector who prefers locomotive hauled stock to multiple units.    I think we all know and love such a person and can hear his voice, and he is probably on this forum!

[Missy Charm]

Thank you for the comments, all.  I am well aware that there is 'too much'* detail in the extract, but the novel's role (in general terms, not this one) is to introduce readers to unknown concepts and unfamiliar territories.  One has a certain responsibility to do something new and, bar Tom Wolfe, I don't believe anyone has shone a literary torch into car customising's corner of the universe; certainly nobody bar specialist publications, the odd human interest newspaper article and passing mentions in 'weren't the seventies crap' type stocking filler books has really touched on the British scene.  It wasn't one of the most important aspects of working class life, but it was always there.  

The Capri is 'real', at least in book terms, but it is also metaphorical in the sense of being something that should be part of, but is excluded from, the realms of folk art and of English eccentricity.  Those realms belong to echelons above the working class, so gain a sort of legitimacy.  Custom vehicles are by nature excluded from that and have their very right to exist threatened by public opinion and the state.  They are, therefore, a form of self-expression that is, on the one hand, lovingly produced and, on the other, looked down upon and occasionally outlawed.  I think it's interesting, whether you do or not is your concern.  

*at least it's not Margaret Atwood with whole pages describing every single piece of furniture and decorative item in a room with sizes and relative positions!

[Missy Charm]

12 hours ago, Mr Pastry said:

Going back to one of Missy's earlier excerpts, the character who really jumped out and hit me was the factory Inspector who prefers locomotive hauled stock to multiple units.    I think we all know and love such a person and can hear his voice, and he is probably on this forum!

I've re-written that section, as it happens:

'I wrote a poem today!  Well wrote’s pushing it, perhaps, but I did the typing.’ 

            Phyllis, listening, heaved herself upright and turned to face Monica ‘Poem?  What poem?’ 

            ‘It’s called Dye-Gressions, hardly Eliot.’ 

            ‘What do you think of that, Mr Box?’ asked Phyllis. 

            ‘The girls writing poetry,’ the man replied.  ‘What’s the harm.  Auden’s my favourite: Night Mail.’   He sighed ‘my boys are hardly old enough to remember steam in scheduled service.  There’s railway preservation and the odd special but it’s not the same.’

            ‘I don’t mind the new ones,’ said Monica.  ‘The steam engines were poor old things by the end.’ 

            ‘They didn’t have to be,’ Box walked over to the office noticeboard and contemplated the dozens of documents, pictures and memos pinned to it.  ‘Unbelievable,’ the man snatched a memo from the board, sending its pin flying.  ‘Says here: “As Autumn approaches consider closing windows to keep heat in.”’

            ‘Does it really,’ Elaine said.  She opened the bottom drawer of her desk, took out a notebook and leafed through it.  ‘We are all in agreement that yesterday there was a memo saying “Fresh air is good for you.  Consider opening windows.”, and today’s directly contradicts that.  I therefore make a tally mark in the ‘contradictory’ column, which takes the total number of contradictory memos received in 1979 to 15.’ 

            ‘How’s the great memo race looking?’ asked Angie expectantly.

            ‘You’re leading with misspellings, 45 so far, but you need to watch out for Monica and her useless memos; she’s on 38 and she’s gaining, there were two last week.  My grammatical errors are still looking a bit tasty at 35 and poor old Mr Box’s contradictions are stone cold last.’ 

            ‘Here, less of the old!’ said Box.

            ‘The cockle’s still anyone’s,’ Monica mused.           

[warch]

That’s rather good!

[warren t claim]

He knew he was a top class getaway driver, the time he'd spent out of jail was a ringing endorsement of his ability, but every raid made him as nervous as the first time he sat in a stolen Apollo Green Mk5 Cortina GLS outside the Midland Bank with his heart pounding in his chest and wondering what the hell he'd let himself in for. 

Five years later and here he is, sat in a nearly new 4 door Astra GTE. Stolen off the dealer's forecourt specifically due to it being fast, discreet and with four doors. He knew his trade, act normal and don't draw attention to yourself by revving the engine. He knew that a pursuit was unlikely but not out of the question as he looked down at the exposed fusebox in front of his right knee and the string tied to the brake light fuse which would enable him to confuse any police trying to catch him if the worst happened by pulling it out. 

He rubbed his chest and felt reassured that he could feel the outline of the key for the Ford Orion changeover car, parked half a mile away in the car park of a Safeway supermarket, under his leather jacket and shirt. Gotta keep the changeover car keyed up and secure, the last thing he wanted was to drive there only to find some teenager had stolen it! 

After what seemed like hours, but was probably only 90 seconds, both passenger side doors opened followed by a loud instruction from the front passenger seat telling him to "just fucking drive will you!" Every instinct in his brain was telling him to floor the Astra but he knew all too well that the worst thing to do was to draw attention to themselves. 

[MiniMinorMk3]

On 9/19/2022 at 6:26 PM, Missy Charm said:

I have come to a point of needing to describe a customised mark one Capri.  Does the following ring true?  There passage is bookended by text not reproduced here, for obvious reasons.  By way of scene setting, the car appears in a magazine article which is being read by one of the characters.  

First the Capri had been named: ‘Stardream’.  It had then gained an RS3100 rear spoiler, a deep steel front airdam and flared wheelarches.  The bodywork at the front had been altered to take Jaguar XJ-S quartz halogen headlights and a plain black radiator grille, to which was affixed a specially made chromium plated quad pointed star.  The rear had been changed too, with hexagonal, jewel-like taillights from a Datsun coupe fitted along with a louvre over the back window.  For brightwork the car retained the ordinary bumpers, which were supplemented by four spoke Appliance wheels and sidepipes with perforated heat-shields.  Power came from a supercharged Ford 351 driving a Jaguar axle by way of a four-speed manual gearbox.  The blower and air-scoop poked through a hole cut in the middle of the bonnet.  Best of all was the paintjob: electric blue metalflake on the body, with plainer Prussian blue on the bonnet and boot-lid.  The boot had an airbrushed mural of a spiral galaxy, done in shades of bluish white; the bonnet had another mural, the Jewel Box star cluster with the large stars painted in shades of emerald, ruby and sapphire.  There was more airbrushing on the sides, from the central swage line downwards.  Monica brought the magazine up to her nose for a closer look.  A gloss black backdrop, star speckled and traversed by little silver spacecraft with fire belching engines.  In the foreground was the name “Stardream”, picked out in futuristic, violet-purple letters.  The paint was thickly lacquered, glass-like.  Inside, the seats were upholstered in purple buttoned dralon and the floor covered in thick blue carpet.  The dashboard was covered in blue dralon and there were enough auxiliary gauges to rival a light aircraft.  Oddly, the unfashionably large two-spoke Capri steering wheel remained in place. 

If you put in this detail it needs to be right. 

The bodywork at the front had been altered to take VX4/90 quartz halogen headlights and a plain black radiator grille, to which was affixed a specially made chromium plated quad pointed star.  The rear had been changed too, with taillights from a Datsun 120Y coupe fitted along with a louvre over the back window.  For brightwork the car retained the ordinary bumpers, which were supplemented by four spoke Appliance wheels at the  front and five spoke Appliances at the rear, it also had sidepipes with perforated heat-shields. Power came from a supercharged Ford 351 Windsor, driving a narrowed Jaguar S-Type axle by way of a Borg Warner35 Auto box..  There was a GMC 6-71 blower with twin Holleys and air-scoop poking through a hole cut in the middle of the bonnet.