The grumpy thread

[chaseracer]

...will she be on the m40 at all?

 

Yes - which is enough to warrant leaving this in the grump thread!  What's the nearest service area, or could she meet you just off the motorway?

[beko1987]

The M40 isn't that bad! I could meet her at Oxford Services if you/she likes? Or she could come off at J6 and I'll meet her in a layby (that sounds wrong)

[myglaren]

 

Pretty good MPG in a petrol Honda! I only get about 34-37 with a 1.4 but I think it's all the crappy town driving I do rather than OMG maniac. That, and I'm overweight so the A/C is on overtime.

 

 

 

I never managed to get more than 32 mpg out of mine - never got any less either, no matter how it was driven, which defies all the laws of cars and things.

The C5s have been the same until recently, now crept up to 37 andabit mpg

[jakebullet]

Idiot sister has been dumped. Turns out the holiday to New York they'd booked for 5 weeks time at a cost of several bags has been paid for in it's entirety by idiot sister. As well as the other 5 or so holidays for the rest of the year.

 

No, I'm not grumpy that her life is now shit n she's out £kerching. I'm grumpy 'cos Ma is doing the usual oh what a disaster, a boo hoo hoo crap. And I've got to live with it. Ma will also be expecting me to sit around the house and watch her mope, when it's been a full week without Kinky girl. So I'll be the most evil bastard on earth for going to Kinky's palace of love.

 

TL DR:

Fucking idiot sister.

[Jazoli]

Idiot sister has been dumped. Turns out the holiday to New York they'd booked for 5 weeks time at a cost of several bags has been paid for in it's entirety by idiot sister. As well as the other 5 or so holidays for the rest of the year.

 

No, I'm not grumpy that her life is now shit n she's out £kerching. I'm grumpy 'cos Ma is doing the usual oh what a disaster, a boo hoo hoo crap. And I've got to live with it. Ma will also be expecting me to sit around the house and watch her mope, when it's been a full week without Kinky girl. So I'll be the most evil bastard on earth for going to Kinky's palace of love.

 

TL DR:

Fucking idiot sister.

 

Sounds like you need to move out pronto.

[Parky]

I don't know who is worst Jake, your family or your customers!

[jakebullet]

Idiot sister never learns. This is the third bloke in a row where she's had a billion things booked in advance and it's gone tits up. She then doesn't go to the things that are booked, or flog them on where possible (concert tickets etc). Idiot in her case is an earned title.

[STUNO]

Try being sympathetic so you and kinky girl can score a free holiday in new York.

[Cheggers]

Have we had a holiday roffle before? 😉

[DVee8]

Try being sympathetic so you and kinky girl can score a free holiday in new York.

 

 

Exactly what i was thinking.

[Tamworthbay]

What is it with idiots in range rovers? Just been to pick up my daughter from a brownies disco and parking is chokka as usual, a few of us have parked across the entrance of the factory next door as its closed and won't be an issue. Donkey in a range rover decides to just pull in behind the car parked on the road which means he is half way on the road and half way across my car. I politely point out that he can't leave the car there as it is blocking me in, his response - 'why what are you going to do about it', I point out that I will leaving whatever and if his rear end looks different, oh well'. He then states that it will be on my insurance, I point out that a, he is parked illegally (although I probably am as well) and b, where are the witnesses? Or is he going to stand there and leave his daughter...... Muppet finally susses that he isn't going to win so calls me a wanker and moves his car. My wife and daughter arrive and I drive off, only to see the imbecile is now parked blocking an entire car park and giving it the big man to a woman in a micra because she is trying to leave. Why? Just twat. One life - pond life

[Timewaster]

There is something about Range Rovers - newer ones anyway.

 

I saw an Overfinch in town today (parked in the pedestrian area) in a lovely metallic blue with reasonably subtle wheels and an inviting looking leather interior.

 

Did I think, "ooh nice" or "I'd love one in a few years when they are worth buttons"?

 

No. I thought "Prick!" I never saw the owner, but I bet I was right.

[Cavcraft]

In the spirit of Autoshite I'd probably go on holiday with your sister if she wants.

[cobblers]

Jesus wept, I've just been ripping some wiring out of my house cos I'm doing the kitchen. It's getting rewired professionally but I'm just going through running cables for the new sockets and wragging the old stuff out to fill the hole etc.

 

Anyway, it's got a wooden Wylex fuse box, installed at least 40 years ago. There's two 16A fuses. One feeds 5 or the 6 sockets in the kitchen, and also the entire rest of the house.

The other feeds a single socket in the corner of the kitchen. The circuit is ran with Aluminium cable, which after the socket then goes down the wall diagonally behind the plaster, behind the skirting board all round the room and up two flights of stairs (literally up each stair under the carpet) to the single socket in the back corner of the attic. 

 

There's also a wire coming out on the wall adjoining our neighbours that use to power some old lights in a kitchen cabinet, but I think it's powered off nextdoors electric because it's still live even when I take every fuse out of our box.

[Junkman]

They do say that if alcohol was invented today it would be a class A drug. Having seen the effects of alcoholism on people, I'm inclined to agree

 

I'm actually less obnoxious when I'm plastered.

[Tamworthbay]

Jesus wept, I've just been ripping some wiring out of my house cos I'm doing the kitchen. It's getting rewired professionally but I'm just going through running cables for the new sockets and wragging the old stuff out to fill the hole etc.

 

Anyway, it's got a wooden Wylex fuse box, installed at least 40 years ago. There's two 16A fuses. One feeds 5 or the 6 sockets in the kitchen, and also the entire rest of the house.

The other feeds a single socket in the corner of the kitchen. The circuit is ran with Aluminium cable, which after the socket then goes down the wall diagonally behind the plaster, behind the skirting board all round the room and up two flights of stairs (literally up each stair under the carpet) to the single socket in the back corner of the attic. 

 

There's also a wire coming out on the wall adjoining our neighbours that use to power some old lights in a kitchen cabinet, but I think it's powered off nextdoors electric because it's still live even when I take every fuse out of our box.

Just cap it off and leave it, or have a very friendly chat with the neighbour!

[cobblers]

They're absolute dirtbags so I'm more inclined to reinstall an immersion heater tbh

[hairnet]

There is something about Range Rovers - newer ones anyway.

 

I saw an Overfinch in town today (parked in the pedestrian area) in a lovely metallic blue with reasonably subtle wheels and an inviting looking leather interior.

 

Did I think, "ooh nice" or "I'd love one in a few years when they are worth buttons"?

 

No. I thought SIx Cylinders got one of them RUUUUUUN AWAY QUICK

 

 

CHRISTOPHER _ THIS IS A JOKE

[jakebullet]

Try being sympathetic so you and kinky girl can score a free holiday in new York.

 

Ha Ha. She'll not go and lose all the money, but if I was to suggest we went instead she'd want full price paid. She's now thinking about insurance scams. I'm quite happy to help by running over an arm or leg with my discovery.

 

Oh, and just to bring balance to the universe I've got an ebay tosser who thinks "Estimated delivery: Friday 22nd" = Guaranteed Friday, and I've ruined her life by none delivery of 10 dice.

 

It's Friday night FFS. I should be having unfortunate sexual accidents with Kinky girl by now.

[Cheggers]

 

 

 

It's Friday night FFS. I should be having unfortunate sexual accidents with Kinky girl by now.

 

So why aren't you?

 

 

Cowboy up, cupcake.

[jakebullet]

She's not back until tomorrow. Hilarious* accidents start at 1pm.

[DeeJay]

Cowboy up, cupcake.

Genuine Laugh Out Loud.

[Coprolalia]

Jesus wept, I've just been ripping some wiring out of my house cos I'm doing the kitchen. It's getting rewired professionally but I'm just going through running cables for the new sockets and wragging the old stuff out to fill the hole etc.

 

Anyway, it's got a wooden Wylex fuse box, installed at least 40 years ago. There's two 16A fuses. One feeds 5 or the 6 sockets in the kitchen, and also the entire rest of the house.

The other feeds a single socket in the corner of the kitchen. The circuit is ran with Aluminium cable, which after the socket then goes down the wall diagonally behind the plaster, behind the skirting board all round the room and up two flights of stairs (literally up each stair under the carpet) to the single socket in the back corner of the attic. 

 

There's also a wire coming out on the wall adjoining our neighbours that use to power some old lights in a kitchen cabinet, but I think it's powered off nextdoors electric because it's still live even when I take every fuse out of our box.

 

I know this pain.

Currently broke and can't afford chod because renovating house deadline prior to move for work in August. Part of the job is we just get posted odd places at random - this time is Wales!

2 years ago we bought our 1890s terraced place as a wreck as MsJ fell in love with it. I've done building in the past, so a bit of DIY ain't a problem, and we've been gradually going room to room.

 

Stuff we found:

Carpet never removed, just more carpet laid over. If they couldn't afford to add more carpet staples, nails and electrical tape will do to fill wear holes. Smoking 60/day meant this was interwoven with 50 years of fag ash and old newspapers.

No electrics ever removed. Rewire in 2011 by industrial cowboys, who put a good fuseboard in that corresponded to the square root of fuck all as they spurred off whatever they wanted. We have an underfloor void that was like venturing into the Temple of Doom, except some of those lovely cotton wrapped wires were live. FUN.

No plumbing ever removed. See above. Old lead pipes crimped and left in the wall dripping mains water.

No gas pipes ever removed. Quite cool actually, as we could have put gas lamps back in the rooms.

Second story extension for bathroom part single skin, part... ?structural render with some asbestos concrete board and studs. Sketchy.

 

 

Amusingly* the intensive expensive building survey only noted the wiring as an issue.

[MarvinsMom]

There is something about Range Rovers - newer ones anyway.

 

I saw an Overfinch in town today (parked in the pedestrian area) in a lovely metallic blue with reasonably subtle wheels and an inviting looking leather interior.

 

Did I think, "ooh nice" or "I'd love one in a few years when they are worth buttons"?

 

No. I thought "Prick!" I never saw the owner, but I bet I was right.

two words-

 

wayne rooney. 

 

or- 

 

footballers wives (car)

 

that is why range rovers have gone from been the height of style and class to chav central.

[bub2006]

Cowboy up, cupcake.

New bumper sticker material right there

[cobblers]

I know this pain.

Currently broke and can't afford chod because renovating house deadline prior to move for work in August. Part of the job is we just get posted odd places at random - this time is Wales!

2 years ago we bought our 1890s terraced place as a wreck as MsJ fell in love with it. I've done building in the past, so a bit of DIY ain't a problem, and we've been gradually going room to room.

 

Stuff we found:

Carpet never removed, just more carpet laid over. If they couldn't afford to add more carpet staples, nails and electrical tape will do to fill wear holes. Smoking 60/day meant this was interwoven with 50 years of fag ash and old newspapers.

No electrics ever removed. Rewire in 2011 by industrial cowboys, who put a good fuseboard in that corresponded to the square root of fuck all as they spurred off whatever they wanted. We have an underfloor void that was like venturing into the Temple of Doom, except some of those lovely cotton wrapped wires were live. FUN.

No plumbing ever removed. See above. Old lead pipes crimped and left in the wall dripping mains water.

No gas pipes ever removed. Quite cool actually, as we could have put gas lamps back in the rooms.

Second story extension for bathroom part single skin, part... ?structural render with some asbestos concrete board and studs. Sketchy.

 

 

Amusingly* the intensive expensive building survey only noted the wiring as an issue.

 

 

Bingo! Ours is also an 1890s terrace and has all the same bodges. It was council owned until about 20 years ago.

There's four layers of carpet in the attic. The top layer goes 8" up the walls and is stuck on to them with nails and no nails.

The bathroom ceiling is lath and plaster, followed by 6 layers of plasterboard, then tongue and groove panelling over that. There were three layers of tiles on the wall round the bath, which stuck out so far that someone had ground the knobs down on the taps so you could actually turn them.

I pulled 15 foot of lead pipe out of the kitchen wall and yep, we've also still got the gas lamp pipes in the walls. 

The stairs and landing has three layers of heavily textured wallpaper on it. Whoever layed the final one (vertical stripes) started at a door frame in one corner and worked their way around. The slight wonkeyness of the corners and walls added up bit by bit until they got to the final corner, (the bit you see directly at the top of the stairs) and the whole thing was running so far on the squint the final sheet is 2" wide at the top and 11" wide at the bottom.

Luckily* it's grade 2 listed so we've not had any major structural work to undo. 

[michael1703]

We should have a "shite house" thread.

 

Ours isn't too bad apart from all the species in the loft,water dripping through windows and lamps that fizzle

 

I reckon some of our houses must be as neglected as our cars

[Mr A Lawrence]

Constant dissing of new cars on here.

 

If we didn't buy new cars then in 10 years time there wouldn't be any chord to buy for peanuts would there??

 

How can a new car that, 1, starts first time, 2, gets you to your destination without drama, 3, doesn't break down 99% of the time be "all new cars r shite"??

 

I don't mind old shit, I drive a 10 yr old jaguar and have a 18 yr old mgf in the garage and access to a 2015 abarth.

 

Buying new cars is what we in the free world call choice!!

 

Rant over.

[Craig the Princess]

I know it goes a bit far Andy, but I think that is a reaction to all the bits of helpful* advise we get to buy a new car, don't drive that old shit, please stop lowering the tone of the street, its not you it's the oil stain left by your Allegro.

[Timewaster]

Re new cars are all shite.

 

My company car is a 2014 Focus.

It is brilliant. In 2 years and 33k it has had one service which was about 2 hours, 3 or 4 bottles of screen wash and about 5 washes.

That's it.

It sips fuel at 62mpg average and will probably save me from harm if I crash.

 

It is however, 100% dull.

 

That is the problem. It is as reliable and interesting as my washing machine.