The grumpy thread

[hairnet]

rectangular house making object

latex glove

job jobbed

 

[vulgalour]

3 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

Completely unrelated I'm reminded of the spate of flat tyres we got on our own driveway from someone propping wood screws and nails between the drive and the tyre tread.  It was very annoying because sometimes you didn't even know you'd got a puncture until the next day.  Never did prove who was doing it, unfortunately.

[108]

32 minutes ago, Zelandeth said:

Sadly it's then me who is wrong in the eyes of the law as I'm preventing them from accessing a public highway.  I did block one asshole who did this in once and was promptly read the riot act by Thames Valley Police who turned up about 90 seconds after I parked up.

It's fucking stupid.  If we had realised how close the school was we really would have thought twice about buying this place.  Had we known how much idiocy there would be on a daily basis between 0800-1000 and 1430-1600, we *definitely* wouldn't have bought the place.

So if they block you in that’s ok? 
 

I would be calling Thames Valley Police each time. Surely the muppet is blocking you from accessing the Public Highway. 

[108]

Or just park close to your own gate, in your own garden. 
 

I realise I might be misunderstanding the layout but this shit shouldn’t be allowed. 

[RoverFolkUs]

Just crawl under the fucker (the car, not the cretin..!) - cut their Lambda sensors and as many other wires as possible  and an ABS sensor or two if you're feeling it 

[Split_Pin]

Wait,  can I just clarify, is this a private driveway for your use only?

I'd fucking tan the car if they parked on mine without any hesitation whatsoever. 

[sheffcortinacentre]

You can guarantee they'd go mental if you did same to them & they'd get away with any retaliation.

[reb]

Buy can of mackerel fillets.

Eat tasty fish.

Pour juices into scuttle vents.

Profit.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

1 minute ago, reb said:

Buy can of mackerel fillets.

Eat tasty fish.

Pour juices into scuttle vents.

Attract local wildlife, including cats.

Profit.

FTFY.

[New POD]

9 minutes ago, Split_Pin said:

Wait,  can I just clarify, is this a private driveway for your use only?

I'd fucking tan the car if they parked on mine without any hesitation whatsoever. 

Which is unfortunately criminal damage.  You have to think clever with these people. 

[reb]

Just now, GrumpiusMaximus said:

FTFY.

I do like cats, so this is a welcome chain of events.

[junkyarddog]

4 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

You've got two large dogs yes?

So you must have access to quite a lot of poo.

Smear said poo under all the door handles,and deposit a large one right outside the drivers door!

[Split_Pin]

Just set the dugs on them.

[goosey]

5 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Ugh, schools managed to be back for a whole day and a half before I wound up with one of the parents parking on our drive and buggering off for an hour.

Years ago myself and a few work colleagues took turns in Pissing up the side of a Discovery 3 that was blocking the entrance to our unit, the ones who couldn’t piss in public pissed into a mop bucket that got tipped into the scuttle. We did this as it’s less obvious than poo but smells just as bad.

and the owner was an arse 

 

It was our Service Managers idea, the guy was an absolute nutter but one of the nicest people I’ve ever met 

 

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Surely the individuals who are using your driveway for free parking are blocking some of your own vehicles in? 

Would that not suggest that said individual is therefore preventing you from accessing a public highway? 

It sounds like you need to call the police and let them read the riot act to the cheeky swine!

[Remspoor]

Oh this is bringing out the nasties in all of us.
I would either spray the win screen with 3in 1, Put some pet food down the heater intake or superglue the door windows. None of these can be immediately put down to you, unless local bobby is  member of this forum.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

1 minute ago, Remspoor said:

Oh this is bringing out the nasties in all of us.
I would either spray the win screen with 3in 1, Put some pet food down the heater intake or superglue the door windows. None of these can be immediately put down to you, unless local bobby is  member of this forum.

Write 'paedo' in white spray paint on the door in letters two-foot high.

[High Jetter]

It's trespass,  but an arse to prove in law.

[mitsisigma01]

Why would it be an arse to prove when the fuckers parked on your driveway...

I thought it was private land so it is a civil matter rather than criminal...

Get someone else (or a car that's not registered in your name) to park right up behind them and say they have fkd off and you don't know who they are ....🤷‍♂️

[Pieman]

If someone parked on my driveway, I would let them off with one warning.

If they did so again, I would call my local banger racing friends and tell them I had a free car waiting for them on my driveway.

[mitsisigma01]

1 hour ago, Dick Longbridge said:

Would that not suggest that said individual is therefore preventing you from accessing a public highway?

I've heard it is an offence to block you getting onto the road , but not an offence to prevent you from accessing your own driveway 🤷‍♂️

[LightBulbFun]

3 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Sadly it's then me who is wrong in the eyes of the law as I'm preventing them from accessing a public highway.  I did block one asshole who did this in once and was promptly read the riot act by Thames Valley Police who turned up about 90 seconds after I parked up.

 

see this is what makes me really fucking grumpy

I know your a throughly decent person

so why all this fucking bollocks happen to you

Drug deal going down? police not interested, someone doing doughnuts in-front of the police station? not interested

but you get fed up with someone parking on your land or heaven forbid down shift in your camper van while going towards a roundabout

and you get the book thrown at you by the police?!

 

like what the actual fuck?

why does this shit keep happening to such a decent person as yourself, I know your one of the most  decent human beings out there  and dont deserve any of it in the slightest

its completely unfair and it pisses me off on the highest order

and im frustrated because I wish I could do something about it!

[High Jetter]

9 minutes ago, mitsisigma01 said:

I've heard it is an offence to block you getting onto the road , but not an offence to prevent you from accessing your own driveway 🤷‍♂️

I think I heard the same, doesn't make sense.

[vulgalour]

1 hour ago, Remspoor said:

Oh this is bringing out the nasties in all of us.
I would either spray the win screen with 3in 1, Put some pet food down the heater intake or superglue the door windows. None of these can be immediately put down to you, unless local bobby is  member of this forum.

You just reminded me that a little blob of oil paint on top of the wiper blades works a treat too.  Hardly has to be anything and the more you try and wipe it away, the worse it gets.  Squirt of washer fluid tends to make it worse too.

[mitsisigma01]

Yet another rule or law that is a load of bollox , why don't the police have the ability to use common sense and just get the offending vehicle impounded and make the inconsiderate fkr pay the towaway charge

[DavieW]

A couple of years ago our next door neighbour suggested to her visitor (we found out later) she could park in our drive assuming we we out for a while. I came home earlier than usual and found a car in my drive. I did think about blocking her in but I parked a coupe of inches from her drivers side. It was fun watching her climb across from the passenger side and then do a 20 point manoeuvre to get out of my drive 🤣

[reb]

I had an ongoing feud with the management of some private student halls where I was definitely not illegally living with my partner at the time, they were adamant that their unsignposted car park was private and I couldn't park there. To my knowledge there's no specific laws governing private parking in Scotland, it's covered under contract law, the contract being formed by signage. They kept putting laminated "private car park" signs on my windscreen, which I artfully arranged around the interior, they must have used about £30 worth of materials over the course of the 6 months this was ongoing. One day I left my car keys and phone in the room and the only course of action I had was to go to reception and ask them to phone my partner. The receptionist was lovely and offered to go up to the flat and get my stuff, but the site manager overheard our conversation and decided it was the perfect opportunity to have a go. I don't remember the exact course of the conversation, but their general point was that they were worried that proper residents would see my car parked without a permit and decide to stop paying for theirs. I pointed out there's no physical permit so they wouldn't know, and offered to buy a permit. Unacceptable. They then told me that they own a gardening business and that if I was one of their staff they'd dismiss me. Ok? Then they said if I kept parking there they'd block me in and phone the police. I encouraged them to do so, as I had quite a good relationship with the local police through work, to which they honest to god said "do you really think the police will listen to a pleb like you?" I told them they were welcome to find out if they were that confident and that I would like the contact number for the company that runs the site. They backed down after that, I still got the occasional sign on the car but I think they got the message when I took a pile of them into reception and suggested they reuse them instead of killing trees.

Admittedly I did knock down about 3 of their bollards because they were shorter than the height of the bootlid on an 850 saloon, but they never did find out that was me.

[Noel Tidybeard]

didn't Zel drop some screws on the drive whilst repairing the woodwork on the camper?

🤔😁

[LightBulbFun]

2 hours ago, mitsisigma01 said:

I've heard it is an offence to block you getting onto the road , but not an offence to prevent you from accessing your own driveway 🤷‍♂️

hang on if its an offence to block you getting ONTO the road

I know @Zelandeth generally keeps TPA parked in a location where someone inconsiderately parking on his driveway, would be blocking TPA's access to the public road

and thus surely then Zel would have a legitimate valid reason to call the police and turn the tables on everyone? as now the 2 tone SUV is now blocking access to a public highway for Zel and TPA right?

 

(tho something tells me even if I am right, the police would just fob Zel off)

[mitsisigma01]

Or just get a heavy cast iron bell shaped bollard, they allow cars to rise up on them and crack the sump quite nicely, usually requiring a crane to remove them , then send them a clean up invoice for damages.

Horsham town centre, quite often...

Just remember to move it before you drive out !