The grumpy thread

[cobblers]

My wife's mate complained that her headlights were shit and really dim.

Turns out, they'd been turned off (usually automatic) since her MOT two months prior. She'd been commuting 40 minutes each way with no lights on in the dark every day and hadn't noticed the people flashing her etc.

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, cobblers said:

My wife's mate complained that her headlights were shit and really dim.

Turns out, they'd been turned off (usually automatic) since her MOT two months prior. She'd been commuting 40 minutes each way with no lights on in the dark every day and hadn't noticed the people flashing her etc.

Here's a Christmas gift idea for her:

 

[Stanky]

2 hours ago, cobblers said:

My wife's mate complained that her headlights were shit and really dim.

Turns out, they'd been turned off (usually automatic) since her MOT two months prior. She'd been commuting 40 minutes each way with no lights on in the dark every day and hadn't noticed the people flashing her etc.

Snap, my mother in law brought her car over, having been stopped by the rozzers for driving through town at night with just her DRLs on. 'the headlight bulbs must have blown'

I went out to it, turned the headlight switch on and walked round to see which other lights were out. Except none of them were out, including the headlights, they all worked fine.

So I came back inside to ask which ones were blown, because I thought she'd said the headlights but they definitely worked...

She came out to look and was amazed. She asked what I'd done and I showed her the 'on' switch above the drivers right knee. 

'oh, I never knew that was there, I thought they came on automatically?'

Ummm no. Hand over your licence now, you have proven you are not trustworthy in charge of 1200kg of moving car.

It had been like this for months, following her last mot. Luckily she rarely drives far but still. FFS people

 

[robinmasters]

Someone passed me on the motorway in the early hours of Saturday, just sidelights and fogs on. Probably doing about 70. 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I got in my old Merc the other day and thought “ Why isn’t the dash lighting up and why is it so dark in my street”  My excuse is that I  swap from ‘97E Class  to ‘14 E Class  depending which one is easiest to get out. I haven’t managed to get further than my own street with no lights on, yet!
 

The worse auto-dip I’ve encountered is , inevitably , on modern Range Rovers . Unbelievably slow witted.

[Fumbler]

I am noticing more and more people with their full beams on coming towards me- more than on Friday. Must be a Sunday driver thing.

[jakebullet]

Ma in old person not listening to you mode tonight.

I've been going thru this bank statement, and the energy bill is EIGHTY POUNDS. And it's normally £55.

Yes, that was the month I put a reading in, as you've not bothered and it's been estimated since January. The next one will be £55 again.

But it's EIGHTY POUNDS! Look on the computer thing and make sure the next one isn't EIGHTY POUNDS!

It's not. It's £55.

So why is this one EIGHTY POUNDS?

'Cos you owe them a couple of quid each month from estimating for the best part of a year.

But it's EIGHTY POUNDS!

Argh!!!!

[Stanky]

Why does Autotrader have a sort by 'relevance' as the default option in the dropdown?

You literally set the specific car make and model you want, what spectrum of 'relevance' is there is addition to that? I want a Lexus GS300 please, sorted by relevance?

"Please see this GS300 sir, its over 27% more Lexus GS-like than the next listing"

All the results are for Lexus GS300s, so its not like ebay where you search for a hammer and as you scroll through, you eventually end up finding results for toasters and all sorts of other shit. If it went on to similar cars then maybe, but really guys?

WTaF?

[robinmasters]

Christmas adverts have started. 

Obviously there's the Facebook dickheads declaring Christmas has started because they've seen a Coke advert, but there's more. 

I've just seen a John Lewis advert with an alien in it. Probably meant to illustrate something about the real meaning of Christmas, but tells you fuck all about the shop.

All it says to me is that they've got far to much money to spend on adverts, so their prices are probably high. 

I'm not even sure this is actually a grump now. 

[Pieman]

I've seen that one (only once) and what fucks me off the most is that they've yet again used some really shitty cover of a popular song on it just like 99% of all other ads.  Chris de Burgh recorded a Christmas song about an alien visiting earth, why couldn't they have just used that?

[Tadhg Tiogar]

1 hour ago, robinmasters said:

....the real meaning of Christmas...

... money....

Think you've answered your own question there....

[gm]

three different christmas adverts using the work “baubles” as an expletive - for some reason this really, really annoys me  

[MikeR]

Xmas don't start till Dec as far as I am concerned ... 

[Wack]

2 hours ago, robinmasters said:

 

Obviously there's the Facebook dickheads declaring Christmas has started because they've seen a Coke advert, but there's more. 

 

The truck is touring the UK , they've upped the game this year , I think Nick Cage is driving 

The holidays are coming, the holidays are coming

https://m.facebook.com/groups/1296461174044660/permalink/1547469915610450/

[Tadhg Tiogar]

16 minutes ago, MikeR said:

Xmas don't start till Dec 24th as far as I am concerned ... 

EFA

[mintwth]

At most there are 12 days of Christmas and they're not meant to start till Christmas Eve.

[High Jetter]

2 hours ago, Pieman said:

Chris de Burgh recorded a Christmas song about an alien visiting earth, why couldn't they have just used that?

They did. Ad nauseam. Please, no more.

[High Jetter]

Sod Christmas, today is my birthday. All plans ruined, cos Covid, for second time. Least I haven't got it, so far.

[PhilA]

2 hours ago, gm said:

three different christmas adverts using the work “baubles” as an expletive - for some reason this really, really annoys me  

Why must there even be expletives in a commercial, censored or otherwise?

What's the net gain? It just makes the advertising there look crass for no reason other than the attempted shock value.

Phil

[paulplom]

BBc radio Newcastle played Stop the cavalry yesterday. 

 

[sierraman]

I don’t want to hear the Xmas music until December, I like Xmas but when it becomes a 3 month extravaganza it’s waters it down. Fairly sure when I was a kid at this point in the year we’d not even thought about Xmas. 

[Fumbler]

11 hours ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

Think you've answered your own question there....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ck-FMAMmCrE

A favourite of mine. It doesn't appear as if anything's changed much since 1959.

[anonymous user]

11 hours ago, Wack said:

The truck is touring the UK , they've upped the game this year , I think Nick Cage is driving 

See, if you up the wages enough you can get drivers

[myglaren]

20 hours ago, artdjones said:

Cadillacs offered auto dip in 1952, the Autronic Eye. You might expect that the modern day equivalents would work better after 70 years of development.

I had a 'senior moment' last week, driving along country lanes in the dark.  Had a job getting the main beams on - never used since I bought the car almost a year and a half ago, night driving always been on lit roads with lots of other traffic.

I could get the flash to work but not stay on, until I pushed the stalk down!

Then remembered that it was the same on the Accord, a couple of decades ago.

 

Late fifties~early sixties we used to pass an Oldsmobile, owned by an American Air Force officer based at Fylingdales.

On the dash was a little telescope like thing with red lenses.  Rumour had it that it was something to see in fog.  Unlikely as it would be practically impossible to look through it and drive.

I wonder if that was an early auto-dip sensor?

 

 

[Datsuncog]

The house directly opposite us put up all their decorations yesterday. That's two trees in both bay windows, plus a load of 'icicle effect' lights strung around the front.

While I think it's a smidge premature, to put it mildly, the real grump is that they insist on having the lights all set to 'fast flashing' mode, and all the strings slightly out of phase.

MrsDC is prone to bad migraines, so having our house basically panic-strobed after dark means that I'm worrying they'll trigger an attack for a good six weeks (and they have). If we need to go out in the evening, she often has to close her eyes while I lead her to the car.

I asked him nicely last year if he could maybe put the lights on a slower pulse, and he refused because "it's for the kids".

His kids are both under two. And since they're largely indoors, it doesn't quite explain why the whole street should be subjected to this all day every day, until well after midnight.

I think he's put them up even earlier this year than usual, possibly to annoy us. Still, if previous form's anything to go by, the absolute crumpet will be taking them all down again at 10am on Boxing Day. Because "that's when Christmas is over".

So basically he only celebrates Christmas while DFS and the supermarkets are running emotionally manipulative ads on TV.

I think that's what annoys me the most.

[Metal Guru]

12 hours ago, Wack said:

The truck is touring the UK , they've upped the game this year , I think Nick Cage is driving 

The holidays are coming, the holidays are coming

https://m.facebook.com/groups/1296461174044660/permalink/1547469915610450/

“The holidays”. Aaargh!

[grogee]

14 hours ago, robinmasters said:

Christmas adverts have started. 

Obviously there's the Facebook dickheads declaring Christmas has started because they've seen a Coke advert, but there's more. 

I've just seen a John Lewis advert with an alien in it. Probably meant to illustrate something about the real meaning of Christmas, but tells you fuck all about the shop.

All it says to me is that they've got far to much money to spend on adverts, so their prices are probably high. 

I'm not even sure this is actually a grump now. 

I'm with you on the adverts, it's a shite 'tradition' now that 'everyone looks forward to'... yeah fuck that.

But, as robbing bastards go, John Lewis is one of the better ones. It's a co-op (sort of) so the employees get to share in the company success, no fat cat shareholders. Also if you buy electronic stuff (eg phones, washing machines) you get a 2 year warranty instead of the usual 12-months-now-fuck-off from CurrysCometBoxStore.

But yeah, humbug, and the only good thing about Xmas is the food and booze.

[Supernaut]

1 hour ago, Datsuncog said:

The house directly opposite us put up all their decorations yesterday. That's two trees in both bay windows, plus a load of 'icicle effect' lights strung around the front.

While I think it's a smidge premature, to put it mildly, the real grump is that they insist on having the lights all set to 'fast flashing' mode, and all the strings slightly out of phase.

MrsDC is prone to bad migraines, so having our house basically panic-strobed after dark means that I'm worrying they'll trigger an attack for a good six weeks (and they have). If we need to go out in the evening, she often has to close her eyes while I lead her to the car.

I asked him nicely last year if he could maybe put the lights on a slower pulse, and he refused because "it's for the kids".

His kids are under two. And doesn't quite explain why the whole street should be subjected to this all day every day, until well after midnight.

I think he's put them up even earlier this year than usual, possibly to annoy us. Still, if previous form's anything to go by, the absolute crumpet will be taking them all down again at 10am on Boxing Day. Because "that's when Christmas is over".

So basically he only celebrates Christmas while DFS and the supermarkets are running emotionally manipulative ads on TV.

I think that's what annoys me the most.

I wonder if it's worth contacting the local council.

Probably not, though.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

42 minutes ago, grogee said:

.... the only good thing about Xmas is ...

...St. Stephen's Day

[cobblers]

Anyone who puts christmas lights on "fast flashing mode" 100% deserves their house burning down.

Doing so in early november adds a 4x multiplier. 400% burn