The grumpy thread

[yes oui si]

Got the green apple splatters ?

[barefoot]

Little more than a bucket full of snow on the M1 & this happens;

[Craig the Princess]

2 hours ago, Spiny Norman said:

Loved this bit of feedback in their history...
"Sent a mattress instead of snow chains no apology not impressed"

Looks like ECP have branched out.

[artdjones]

16 hours ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

Naturally enough, the head gasket set for the CX is currently out of stock......

Is there an oil cooler on the CX?If there is there can be cross contamination.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

49 minutes ago, artdjones said:

Is there an oil cooler on the CX?If there is there can be cross contamination.

There is one for automatic gearbox cars, because it was quite involved to get it all reconnected. If that has failed, then it would be a job to get hold of a new one. It looks like this:

I am tending to think it's the head gasket that has given up, as "richardmorris" suggests, mainly because of the speed with which the coolant turned into the colour of Bailey's liqueur / tea. Really quite frustrating, as it had a cooling system flush (three times) in November and a new water pump and hose at the same time. Everything was alright until around the New Year when I took it for a jet wash and the coolant temperature went past 90 deg.C (usually it sits around 84-88 deg) on the way home.

I pumped out the expansion tank at the weekend to remove a foreign body that I had spotted floating in there, then refilled with new coolant - just enough to cover the tank marker/sensor as the manual dictates. It didn't make a great deal of difference when I took it round the block, and the dull rattling sounds (a bit like rapid pinking) that I could hear when I accelerated leads me to think that there is either inadequate oiling or inadequate cooling. I also noticed that once the engine was off, there was a pressure build-up and the coolant - which was once again the colour of Bailey's/tea - rose high enough to leak through the screw cap at the top.

Yet another problem for Garages Dubois-Loizou to try to solve if/when I can get the CX down there again.

I have now managed to find someone who stocks a complete head gasket set, so an order has gone in. I know I've spent far far more than I paid for the CX in the first place, but I've got to chase down all the faults that happen as they arise, and whilst I can afford it! The rest of the car is too good to give up on.

[Angrydicky]

9 hours ago, Stevebrookman said:

That's bad. Hope it can be fixed. What engine is in it Mr Dicky? My 2.8 was replaced with a Monza 3.0injection and a 4 speed auto.

 

Steve

In hindsight I should have gone that route. It's the original 2.8 block and 3 speed auto with a 3.0 head and injection system retro fitted. Had it running but after a while it bogs down and wouldn't restart until it had cooled down. Then wouldn't start at all, but it has an intermittent fault when it sometimes overfuels massively. It's currently ok but won't start (although it was coughing and trying to go)

I'd love to hear if you have any ideas for things I could check!

[Roobarb]

2 hours ago, barefoot said:

Little more than a bucket full of snow on the M1 & this happens;

I was a bit rough this weekend- spent most of it in bed. Had to get up to clear yet another 8” of snow off the drive before Mrs Roobarb shoveled it. First time out this year with my snow blower. 

Once I finished, I collapsed on the lounge rug and fell asleep again. Bloody snow cocks everything up.

[155V6]

My normal route to work,earlier this evening

[clayts450]

Not weather-related damage, this is 100% cunt related damage:

I'd washed the car yesterday during a brief abatement of the storm, and there was a barely discernible footprint on the bonnet. Maybe someone wanted the furry dice ? Gave the mirror a kick too, but that clicked back in place.

All I can say is thank goodness it wasn't one of the other cars on fleet as that would have been a ballache sourcing a replacement - at least being modern* the Streetwise windscreen should be reasonably straightforward to source. And why they didn't target the non-MoT/non taxed Vxl Astra parked a few cars along which looks abandoned, Gawd only knows. Or any of the neighbours cars.

Online Police report done, await crime ref number, phone to insurers tomorrow.

[clayts450]

So with the Streetwise out of commission,, 420 was pushed into commutawagon duties. As barefoot noted above, then this happened in Nottingham:

Merry Christmas readers.

[Royale80]

1 hour ago, Angrydicky said:

In hindsight I should have gone that route. It's the original 2.8 block and 3 speed auto with a 3.0 head and injection system retro fitted. Had it running but after a while it bogs down and wouldn't restart until it had cooled down. Then wouldn't start at all, but it has an intermittent fault when it sometimes overfuels massively. It's currently ok but won't start (although it was coughing and trying to go)

I'd love to hear if you have any ideas for things I could check!

Sounds dodgy! Could be the cold start temp sensor or the ecu as I would imagine only those two things affect the injector firing. Does sound like the ecu as I had to Chang one due to rough running.The ecu usually sits near the drivers right leg. There’s also a pick up on the distributor for firing the ecu I think. I’m a member of the senator, Monza and royale Facebook group ( it’s called something like that)  ands it’s useful fo4 advice and spares.

Regards

 

Steve

[flat4alfa]

3 hours ago, clayts450 said:

So with the Streetwise out of commission,, 420 was pushed into commutawagon duties. As barefoot noted above, then this happened in Nottingham:

Merry Christmas readers.

Sorry I'm out of the loop - is the 820i roffler winnar still with you?

[Datsuncog]

Snow's a-falling in Co. Antrim... understandably, MrsDC announces that she'd sooner take the Forester up over the hills to work in the morning, rather than the Yaris.

Since I've been meaning to replace the ever-weakening battery in the remote key for several weeks now, I figure now would be a good time to finally jolly well do it - before it completely dies, trapping MrsDC in a blizzard or some such.

On opening the key fob, I discover it's an oddly sized battery lurking in there - a 1632 button cell.

Of course, out of all the batteries in the battery box, none are 16mm... so it's out into the snowstorm* and down to Tesco before they shut...

And of course none of their batteries are the right size either. Loads of 2016 and 2032 cells on the pegs, but not a single 1632 to be found.

On arriving back at the ranch, the car won't lock... it seems that the shock of taking the battery out to test it has now killed it stone dead... and the Forester cleverly immobilises itself 30 seconds after the engine stops and won't restart unless the button on the fob is pressed.

Since the car only came with one key, and efforts to secure a replacement last year came to naught (it's a weird key and even the Subaru main dealer can't match it), the car's effectively dead until I can get a new 1632 button cell...

Looks like MrsDC will be taking the Yaris after all over the snowy hills tomorrow, while I'll be hoofing it down to the station while trying not to slip and fall on my arse...

[Tadhg Tiogar]

12 minutes ago, Datsuncog said:

Snow's a-falling in Co. Antrim... understandably, MrsDC announces that she'd sooner take the Forester up over the hills to work in the morning, rather than the Yaris.

.....Looks like MrsDC will be taking the Yaris after all over the snowy hills tomorrow...

She must be really pleased with ye. Maybe a sure-footed horse would do the job just as well.....

[clayts450]

Sorry I'm out of the loop - is the 820i roffler winnar still with you?

Yes for now, but imminent life changes may mean it'll be up for grabs here soon. And it's an SI for slightly less poverty

[Wack]

Remember the 2009 scrappage scheme 

I was just having a disagreement with somebody who claimed all the most polluting cars were taken off the road in 2009 by the scrappage scheme and they should bring it back to boost sales of EVs

393,000 cars scrapped out of 30.1m on the road at the time so barely a dent , it was about selling cars in a recession not saving the planet

Anyway I found a list of the actual models scrapped , you'll need a spreadsheet viewer to see the full list but there were a lot of classic cars scrapped 

https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/357672/bis-foi-2014-20775-scrapped-vehicles-supporting-data.csv/preview

 

[MikeR]

WTF ,,,  was posted on FB

 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

1 hour ago, MikeR said:

WTF ,,,  was posted on FB

 

Probably the tip of the iceberg?

[georgeinabz]

Please tell me I'm not being entirely stupid for thinking this was for a set of leads?
 
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BOSCH-Ignition-Leads-for-RENAULT-19-TRAFIC-CITROEN-AX-0-986-356-061/312292062226?ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT&_trksid=p2057872.m2749.l2649
 
One has arrived, and now I look closer, the 'part details' bit says 'Fitting Position - Cylinder 4'
 
Am I right to be annoyed at paying a tenner for one lead? Is the advert misleading? Can I return it? 
 

Return it , item description clearly indicates “leads” plural , so you should have got at least 2.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[mitsisigma01]

5 hours ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

Probably the tip of the iceberg?

She gets around a bit, I wonder if she's claiming for 5 motability cars and housing benefit in all 5 locations ???

[mitsisigma01]

Probably rents the cars out to all the uber drivers she's subletting the houses to ?

[dozeydustman]

What is going on with DPD? Simple enough to ask them to deliver to any neighbour. Lady next door is in all day everyday pretty much

[treehugger]

Fucking govt approving HS2. Money well spent NOT

Good job theres no crisis in social care.

[somewhatfoolish]

8 hours ago, MikeR said:

WTF ,,,  was posted on FB

 

They look pretty fake from here, so doubtless she'll be busy again once her laminator warms up; would a dole office actually fall for shit fakes like that?

[Tamworthbay]

Fucking idiot micro management. Them - how do you know that this one at point x will be this far along at point Y? Me- Because we have set up the process and perfected it over twenty years and we have twenty years of end point data to prove it works. Them - but how can you be sure at this exact point that that will happen? Me- errrr because it’s been set up to do just that and has always succeeded without fail. Them- sorry we think you need to measure it at point A-Z to prove it’s going to plan. Me- but if I do all that measuring I won’t have the man hours to get to Z as we will be spending the time measuring not doing. Them- ah! So you can’t prove it gets to point Z! Me- yes I fucking can as it has done for the last twenty years you thick fuckers. Them- but there is no evidence this one will do the same. Me- what evidence is there that it won’t and why do you think it won’t? Them- no reason at all, we are sure it’s all fine. Me- so why the fuck do you want me to measure it? Them- so we can be sure, Me- but if I do that it won’t happen as I will spend all my man hours proving what has been done instead of doing it. Repeat for two hours. Only me pointing out that I was the most productive member of staff for twenty years running, that my team was the most productive for the last 18 years running and that I would fuck off somewhere else and no one else can do my job has prevented it being immediately put into place. They are going to ‘look at it’ which means fucking about and trying to do it by the back door. What the fuck is wrong with these bean counting twats who add nothing to a company?

[Saabnut]

Had a day like that myself. Four and a half hour meeting, that lasted for 6 hours. Woman taking it knew all the terms but obviously never done the job. Forgot to organise the lunch so had to go to the canteen as usual and pay. Twenty people in the meeting. 6 under 50 years old. Woman said "in my head" when describing scenarios seventeen times! 16 of the people there said not one word. One slide shown had no less than 27 acronyms/abreviations. I was the one who asked if everyone was familiar with them all, just before she moved to the next slide. 16 said no so I quietly smirked as leader lady had to explain them all. Four she did not know and had to ask me......

In the old days, I would have chosen 4 people, half an hour later we would have had it sorted and off to the pub. None of that allowed now. 4 HSE people there, none spoke, none mentioned the elephant in the room, ie why was this method chosen as it is inheritently unsafe. I did not mention it either I am sad to say, as I do not want to cause trouble after 4 years away, and I am confident I can keep my bit of the plan safe.

Good job they are paying me obscene amounts of money to put up with the bullshit!

[SierraMikeHotel]

Today I installed new windscreen wipers on the front of my wife's company car, a 2017 Mercedes C-class.

Windscreen wipers!  Christ, that's literally the first thing I learned to do on a car.  I used to do them for my mum on her Pug 309 before I learned to drive; probably before I'd finished primary school even.  Not hard, I hear you say.

Two minute job, sez I.  Be back in five, put the kettle on.

First you have to get the wipers to the vertical position or you can't raise them off the screen because they're hidden under the trailing edge of the bonnet.  That's a pedestrian safety feature so no arguments from me, that's all good.  Apparently there's a "wiper service" button hidden somewhere around the car but I'm fucked if I could find it so I used the older technique of turning the wipers on then whipping the key out of the ignition at the right moment.

OK.  Check the instructions on the box containing the new wipers (they're Bosch and not cheap so I do have an expectation of something useful).  Nope; just a line drawing of a windscreen wiper (so, a line) and an arrow next to it.

I look closely, puzzle, think, manipulate the thing any which way I can think of and there's not a millimetre of movement or give.  It's like the fuckers were built into the car - except for the small problem that they're worn out and need replacing.

Finally, to my intense embarrassment, I sit in the car, get my phone out and start searching YouTube.

Finally I find my answer.  You have to tilt the wipers to a certain point, which will allow you to move a slider, which is of course stuck because it lives on the front of the car and therefore gets very dirty.  When you have managed to move the slider (which is especially difficult on the passenger side, because the wiper has a big suspension system so when you pull it you're just pulling the suspension and not the slider itself) the old wiper pops off.

Is this any better than the system on my 2007 Merc, where it's totally obvious to any idiot how they come apart?  Does it improve the performance of the wipers?  Does it bollocks.  It just makes some designer look clever and makes the job harder for a poor schmuck owner like me.

[FakeConcern]

9 minutes ago, SierraMikeHotel said:

Today I installed new windscreen wipers on the front of my wife's company car, a 2017 Mercedes C-class.

Windscreen wipers!  Christ, that's literally the first thing I learned to do on a car.  I used to do them for my mum on her Pug 309 before I learned to drive; probably before I'd finished primary school even.  Not hard, I hear you say.

Two minute job, sez I.  Be back in five, put the kettle on.

First you have to get the wipers to the vertical position or you can't raise them off the screen because they're hidden under the trailing edge of the bonnet.  That's a pedestrian safety feature so no arguments from me, that's all good.  Apparently there's a "wiper service" button hidden somewhere around the car but I'm fucked if I could find it so I used the older technique of turning the wipers on then whipping the key out of the ignition at the right moment.

OK.  Check the instructions on the box containing the new wipers (they're Bosch and not cheap so I do have an expectation of something useful).  Nope; just a line drawing of a windscreen wiper (so, a line) and an arrow next to it.

I look closely, puzzle, think, manipulate the thing any which way I can think of and there's not a millimetre of movement or give.  It's like the fuckers were built into the car - except for the small problem that they're worn out and need replacing.

Finally, to my intense embarrassment, I sit in the car, get my phone out and start searching YouTube.

Finally I find my answer.  You have to tilt the wipers to a certain point, which will allow you to move a slider, which is of course stuck because it lives on the front of the car and therefore gets very dirty.  When you have managed to move the slider (which is especially difficult on the passenger side, because the wiper has a big suspension system so when you pull it you're just pulling the suspension and not the slider itself) the old wiper pops off.

Is this any better than the system on my 2007 Merc, where it's totally obvious to any idiot how they come apart?  Does it improve the performance of the wipers?  Does it bollocks.  It just makes some designer look clever and makes the job harder for a poor schmuck owner like me.

Why do they make it so difficult? On a Citroen C4 that came out in 2004, to get the wipers into service mode (as they sit under the bonnet when parked like on the Merc) turn off the ignition and then switch on the wipers in the next 30 seconds. The wipers go vertical and it's easy to change the blades, all cars should be like this. Also turning the ignition off on this while wipers are running, wipers park!

[Fumbler]

Well isn't this great. Grandmother Fumbler came home from Hospital after a 3-day stay. I then learned that as a result of this, Mother Fumbler's operation to remove a bone from her thumb (arthritis) had to be delayed to facilitate for Grandmother's care. My mother can barely use her thumbs anymore because of the pain and she was so selflessly putting off her treatment because of this. Yesterday Grandmother Fumbler went to the surgeon. He's done masses of bone replacements and only had 6 recalls. We're the seventh. According to him, something isn't right and since she's dislocated twice already its just going to happen over and over again. So, on the operating table again it seems. Date set is 31st March, and Mother Fumbler has decided to go ahead with her operation. Grandmother came to terms with the fact that 31st March is a long way away, and so asked if she could drive. "Yes yes" said the surgeon, "but only for local journeys." So that's something for her to stretch into oblivion. We, as a family, have concluded that we're going to have to sit back and watch as she is so gun-ho and adamant that her "services" are always required to her friends and aquaintences. We've advised her friends to refuse transport so all we can do is watch and wait. Considering that the first manouvre that she made after being given the green light was reversing into the main road, I can only hope and pray things don't head south.

[Bren]

The passat has only been on ebay for minutes and already the life is being sucked out of me. Offers of £250, buy it now price and a checklist that would make the owner of a five year old car sweat have been sent to me. I may check into the priory next week.