The grumpy thread

[Kiltox]

3 hours ago, loserone said:

I still don't understand how anyone manages to shop at Asda without just buying utter shit and spending more money than they would have done on actual ingredients to make actual food.

 

 

My grump: fell asleep after drinking cider with the kids so woke up at 2 and went downstairs to brush my teeth.  Toothbrushes caught and the ceramic cup they live in fell into the sink

Now I need to buy a new sink.

Jesus - proper job you’ve done of that!

[Tadhg Tiogar]

4 hours ago, loserone said:

I still don't understand how anyone manages to shop at Asda without just buying utter shit and spending more money than they would have done on actual ingredients to make actual food.

The place isn't affectionately* known as Spasda for nothing.

[New POD]

3 hours ago, MikeR said:

some kunt down the road is cutting the grass next door but one with a whizzer , FFS its 8 am

thats it , no one can ever complain if I am knocking 7 bells out of the car with hammer at silly o clock ...

Oh do feck off.

I'd been at werk for an hour by that time. Not doing work. But clocked in. Actually at 8 am I was at the morning meeting trying to avoid taking actions. 

I've now managed to make 10 decent ceramic test bars and having found the perfect * parameters await an operator to do 3 Saggars worth (60) so we can get them.in a kiln and find out in 2 weeks that they are shite.

 

 

 

Edited August 22, 2019 by New POD
Confidential pictures

[Cavcraft]

Hard to know what you're moaning about, tbh. Just back in after a couple of days away and someone has stolen all the new turf we laid last week.

 

My wife is out there right now, looking forlorn. 

 

 

[High Jetter]

Crikey, they didn't let the grass grow...

...I'll get my coat

[Wack]

This proper boils my piss , 100% the police will know who he is but will any punishment affect his daily lifestyle , will it fuck 

 

[xtriple]

Well... what a day. Was going great and all things peachy in the world, until Phoebe decided to be the biggest pain on Gods green Earth.

Took  the mutts to the park, Phoebe took her ball (of course) and when we got to where she could destroy a hedge (her favourite hobby) she decided that she would fall through a hedge made of bracken and thorns and into a stream that was just pure mud. Then, she wouldn't come out!

When she decided that she would indeed like to come out (helped by Chester getting the hump and barking at her none stop) she couldn't get out. Worse, I couldn't get to her to help/pull her out. A solution to this problem was sought out, but a none injurious way was not forthcoming. So I had to 'fall' through the same bracken/thorn undergrowth to get to her. In so doing, I was cut to fuck everywhere and when I finally got hold of her, she was just a ball of brown wet mud.

I then lifted her out whereupon, she realised I had her ball in my left hand and in her haste to get it (while in mid air with me cursing fit to bust) she bit my finger!  By the time I got her out there was much blood (all mine) and much MUCH mud all over both of us, I was also soaking wet from head to foot in the dirtiest concoction yet seen on a human. I got her back to the car and used one towel on me and another on her and they were ust disgusting.

Anyway, got her home and threw her straight in the bath/shower and it was just deeply unpleasant. Then put the towels from the car and the ones i used to dry her straight n the washing machine, then I had a shower (after cleaning the bath of about three dogs worth of hair) and washed all my clothes. I did try and get Chester in the bath after Phoebe but I just couldn't lift him - it was bad enough with 23 Kgs of Lab, 36Kgs of Basset cross was a dog too far for me and I collapsed n a breathless, sweaty heap.

Once I, the dogs and all the towels/clothes were washed, then I had to go and clean the inside of the Merc which was minging! My normal good(ish) humour had evaporated and I was in a proper, foul, fuck the world and the horse it rode in on, type mood. Not helped by a now wet (though clean) dog who refused to stay in one spot - preferably outside in the sun - and so got everything wet, carpet, rug, sofa...

So I apologise to Fat pirate for misreading his thread and i was in such a foul mood I nearly did a flounce from here over a purely imagned slight.

I am a prick, there is no disguising the matter, but fuck me, was I ever provoked. Bloody dogs.

[New POD]

5 hours ago, Wack said:

This proper boils my piss , 100% the police will know who he is but will any punishment affect his daily lifestyle , will it fuck 

 

I wouldn't ever condone taking the law into ones own hands and becoming bounty hunter, prosecutor, judge jury and executioner, but if that were my car, I'd be discussing with myself the best way to make him change his future behaviour in a legal and responsible manner.  Clearly breaking his face would be pointless. Removing both ballocks might not be legal, but is the best idea I have at 3:40 am. 

[paulplom]

Good idea. It would stop him breeding.

[Kiltox]

JFC. 

Opus Energy, whoever the fuck they are, supply the old tenant of my unit with gas. Got a bill in addressed to them - £800 in arrears. Thought I’d better call them, give them a meter reading and fuck them off.  I’ve already instructed a new supplier to do their thing anyways  

Get through to a very loud office with some gobshite in the background clearly doing that office wanker thing of being overly flirty with the only woman in the office. Good start. 

Guy takes the address 4 times and just about manages to find it, guess he can’t fucking hear for the thirsty dickhead either. 

Insists on taking my name - “kiltox’s dodgy bullshit ltd” not enough aparrently, but he can’t explain why. 

Apparently it’ll take 10 working days to swap over the supply to my company (why?)

Then, “for data protection” he wanted my date of birth - he wouldn’t accept the company’s incorporation date  

 

[myglaren]

8 hours ago, xtriple said:

I then lifted her out whereupon, she realised I had her ball in my left hand and in her haste to get it (while in mid air with me cursing fit to bust) she bit my finger!  By the time I got her out there was much blood (all mine) and much MUCH mud all over both of us,

 

She's tasted human blood and will be a man-eater from now on.  Bonio just won't do.

[wuvvum]

I will be undertaking a collection mission tomorrow, the first part of which involves a 9-hour bus journey to a distant corner of this sceptred isle.  I have somehow managed to contract a moderately severe case of gentleman's influenza and cannot stop coughing.  This should be pleasant*.  Both for myself and my fellow bus wankers.

[Parky]

On 8/22/2019 at 11:09 AM, myglaren said:

Duct tape!

Seriously I would be fibreglassing the back of that and filling the hole with P40 as a temporary repair which is still there ten years later

[GrumpiusMaximus]

The puppy (15 weeks as of today) has had some disgestive issues in the last week and a bit.  We have been to the vet and sent off some samples and recommended some special food for the meantime.

The vet is excellent but we may as well be feeding her with five pound notes!  It's eye-wateringly expensive food.  So on day two of issues (last Wednesday) we tried chicken and rice.  Cue the most foul and disgusting lawn you've ever seen.  Aafter a couple of days of head-scratching and further issue, we put two and two together.  Her symptoms started the day after we'd given her chicken slices at treats at a training class - so we cut out the chicken and continue with the banknote diet, which is working.  Now we're waiting for the results of the samples, which have all come clear apart from the last so we can have a proper chat with the vet about it.

But that's not all!  On Tuesday we did another training class so we gave her some alternative puppy kibble as treats.  No chicken.  I'm up five times in the night with her making a giant mess of the lawn again.  That kibble had turkey.  Other than the banknotes, we've fed her nothing else.

So, it would appear that the puppy may very well have some kind of poultry intolerance.  Guess what almost all dog foods have?  That's right!  Poultry...

And she was sick last night.  So at quarter to 7 this morning the dog is in the bath and I'm hosing down the crate tray.

[myglaren]

Sirloin steak the only solution then ☹️

[clayts450]

FFS, must have dropped my phone when I got out of the car yesterday.

Thankfully, modern tech means I have been able to trace exactly where my phone is down to the door number, and send them a message asking them to ring me.  After picking up my phone, the finder went to the park in the afternoon, stopped off at the doctors, caught a number 17 bus home and got home at 5.25pm after popping into Tesco (exact address known).

Fuck me, Big Brother most certainly is watching us.

Anyway, hopefully the honest finder will be accommodating and give me my damned phone back tomorrow.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

6 minutes ago, myglaren said:

Sirloin steak the only solution then ☹️

I think the banknote diet might still be marginally cheaper!

Fish-based dog food does exist.  There's just not much available for puppies and quite a lot of that still has poultry in it.  My parent's old Lab had exactly the same issue but they found a food for her that didn't cost as much as a small moon.

[myglaren]

Not a grump really, just somewhat perplexed.

 

A couple of my daughters are vegan.  Last week I saw that Heather Mills was in Darlington and promoting soe vegan stuff, also mentioned she was opening a vegan factory (to make more vegans) in Seaton Delaval.

One daughter lives near Darlington and is a vegan baker, so sent it to her.

The other works in Seaton Delaval so sent it to her - partly as Heather Mills used to live near us, a long time ago now.

Said daughter said that signs had gone up on the Proctor & Gamble factory there - I asked if that was the Hugo Boss place but she hadn't heard anything about that.

Googlerized it and it confirmed that P&G made stuff for HB, also Old Spice

 

Quote

"The village has its own independent cooperative, the Seaton Valley Co-Operative Society, which runs a small supermarket, post office and off-licence. There are also several convenience stores and public houses, such as The Keel Row pub/restaurant on Foreman's Row. The other, mainly independent, stores include a regionally renowned ice cream parlour (Arrighi's, often incorrectly pronounced "Riggy's"), a pine furnishing store, a florist and a garage."

 

Quote

Coty has a factory in the village following a merger of between Procter and Gamble and Coty for the acquisition of their beauty business, once the independent Shultons factory. Shultons formerly manufactured Old Spice aftershave before Procter & Gamble's acquisition of the brand. The factory is now employed in the manufacture of Clairol hair dye products, including Nice 'n Easy, as well as the Hugo Boss fragrance range along with a number of other products.

 

A few minutes ago I get an email from Google - they have put a reservation for the Keel Row in Seaton Delaval in my calender ?

[bramz7]

A warning to fellow procrastinators, don't ever hesitate when umming and ahhing about leaving a note on a car.

 

I had put off leaving a note on my dads old (and last, before he passed away) Subaru for ages, and now it's been scrapped.

 

Bit gutted now.

[myglaren]

Couldn't add anything after the smiley, couldn't edit either.

Just had an email from daughter - they have made the same reservation on her calendar too.

[Rovorsche]

Drove to an office today, found my access pass has expired and all three people that could get this sorted are on holiday so I drove home again.

On the way home an advert came on the radio for a restaurant

"Now taking bookings for Christmas, see our menu online"

Get to fuck with your Christmas nonsense

[NorthernMonkey]

4 hours ago, GrumpiusMaximus said:

So, it would appear that the puppy may very well have some kind of poultry intolerance.  Guess what almost all dog foods have?  That's right!  Poultry...

 

One of ours is a bit intolerant of white meat so they are all on a salmon based working dog kibble from a company called healthy options. It’s about £18 for a 7.5kg sack which feeds three Spaniels for around three weeks, along with weetabix on a morning and a can of cheap mackerel fillets in tomato sauce on a night.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

That is not a bad shout at all.  She's going to be a big dog (30Kg+) and we're a bit worried about underfeeding her now out of worry.  I'll mention it to Lady Grumpius.

[NorthernMonkey]

4 minutes ago, GrumpiusMaximus said:

That is not a bad shout at all.  She's going to be a big dog (30Kg+) and we're a bit worried about underfeeding her now out of worry.  I'll mention it to Lady Grumpius.

They have a few outlets up here but they also do mail order.

It’s also free of additives, gluten free etc and has worked wonders for our oldest Springer who has been on it for many years now, along with the younger ones.

Definitely consider supplementing it with sardines or mackerel though; it’s about 35p a can from all the major supermarkets and is really good for their joints and coats

[Floatylight]

Well... what a day. Was going great and all things peachy in the world, until Phoebe decided to be the biggest pain on Gods green Earth.
Took  the mutts to the park, Phoebe took her ball (of course) and when we got to where she could destroy a hedge (her favourite hobby) she decided that she would fall through a hedge made of bracken and thorns and into a stream that was just pure mud. Then, she wouldn't come out!
When she decided that she would indeed like to come out (helped by Chester getting the hump and barking at her none stop) she couldn't get out. Worse, I couldn't get to her to help/pull her out. A solution to this problem was sought out, but a none injurious way was not forthcoming. So I had to 'fall' through the same bracken/thorn undergrowth to get to her. In so doing, I was cut to fuck everywhere and when I finally got hold of her, she was just a ball of brown wet mud.
I then lifted her out whereupon, she realised I had her ball in my left hand and in her haste to get it (while in mid air with me cursing fit to bust) she bit my finger!  By the time I got her out there was much blood (all mine) and much MUCH mud all over both of us, I was also soaking wet from head to foot in the dirtiest concoction yet seen on a human. I got her back to the car and used one towel on me and another on her and they were ust disgusting.
Anyway, got her home and threw her straight in the bath/shower and it was just deeply unpleasant. Then put the towels from the car and the ones i used to dry her straight n the washing machine, then I had a shower (after cleaning the bath of about three dogs worth of hair) and washed all my clothes. I did try and get Chester in the bath after Phoebe but I just couldn't lift him - it was bad enough with 23 Kgs of Lab, 36Kgs of Basset cross was a dog too far for me and I collapsed n a breathless, sweaty heap.
Once I, the dogs and all the towels/clothes were washed, then I had to go and clean the inside of the Merc which was minging! My normal good(ish) humour had evaporated and I was in a proper, foul, fuck the world and the horse it rode in on, type mood. Not helped by a now wet (though clean) dog who refused to stay in one spot - preferably outside in the sun - and so got everything wet, carpet, rug, sofa...
So I apologise to Fat pirate for misreading his thread and i was in such a foul mood I nearly did a flounce from here over a purely imagned slight.
I am a prick, there is no disguising the matter, but fuck me, was I ever provoked. Bloody dogs.

Feel for you man but this has got Dave numbers written all over it, not laughed so much in ages...

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk

[MikeR]

the music is not to my taste !

 

[anonymous user]

7 hours ago, myglaren said:

She's tasted human blood and will be a man-eater from now on.  Bonio just won't do.

They like a bit of blood, it brings out the inner wolf. Years ago I cut my hand with a secateurs, my Springers followed me back to the house licking up the trail of blood and while I was binding my hand with masking tape were catching any stray blood droplets whilst looking expectantly at me hoping for more.

[xtriple]

26 minutes ago, anonymous user said:

They like a bit of blood, it brings out the inner wolf. Years ago I cut my hand with a secateurs, my Springers followed me back to the house licking up the trail of blood and while I was binding my hand with masking tape were catching any stray blood droplets whilst looking expectantly at me hoping for more.

When I went through my 'self harming' phase, Chester thought all his birthdays had come at once, the horrible little vampire dog?

[Zelandeth]

The Xantia is basically unusable on a warm day like this just now thanks to the air con being stuffed.

It suffers very much from having been designed with the intention of having A/C from square one...as such the ventilation without it is about as much use as a chocolate teapot.  It just blows vaguely warm air at you when set to cold.  Combined with a black leather interior it's bloody murder.

Fixing the A/C involves replacing one hose and a valve core on the HP service port.

The problem is that I cannot for the life of me see any way to replace the aforementioned hose (liquid line from compressor to evaporator) without removing the engine (and entirely probably the entire dash) as one end is buried down behind the engine and I can't even see where it goes from either above or under the car.

So barring lottery wins it's likely to remain dead.  Though I'm becoming increasingly tempted to grab a couple of appropriate compression fittings and just chopping it off before the flexible bit that's failed and getting Pirtek to make up a new flexible section and sort it that way.  At this stage I can't make the system any more broken as it's already dead...dare not get it recharged currently given how much the hose was swelling a few months ago.

[Craig the Princess]

7 hours ago, wuvvum said:

I will be undertaking a collection mission tomorrow, the first part of which involves a 9-hour bus journey to a distant corner of this sceptred isle.  I have somehow managed to contract a moderately severe case of gentleman's influenza and cannot stop coughing.  This should be pleasant*.  Both for myself and my fellow bus wankers.

Liked for the collection, not the man flu.