The grumpy thread

[loserone]

Yeah, we get them in the wood store. Fun when you bring them inside next to the fire.

[strangeangel]

Ever encountered a wood wasp? Fecking huge things with a stinger that’d put the shiters up even the hardiest of souls, but fortunately I believe they won’t sting. Mind you, if that’s the case then what’s the point of having a stinger that could double up for use in a piercing parlour.

 

 

They look formidable, but the protrusion you're referring to is how the Giant Wood Wasp lays its eggs. And, you're right, they don't sting.

[myglaren]

Wasps do the some of the same work as bees, they're pollinators. They're arseholes but if you care about bees for ecological reasons you should care about wasps too.

They also eat a lot of other undesirable insects.

[dozeydustman]

Wasps are only a nuisance in the latter part of summer when the queen no longer requires food to be brought home. In the spring they're pretty tame and look for wood to build a nest with, flowers for food and horrid insects to paralyse to give to the Queen grubs to eat. The developing grubs produce a sweet liquid that the drone wasps feed on and get addicted. During the late summer, when the Queen grubs have pupated and developed into next year's queens (and the odd male for mating purposes), they miss this sweet goo and go foraging for anything sweet, because cold turkey.

 

When they eat rotting fruit, it is essentially fermenting and the sugars turning to alcohol, so not only are they scrabbling around like smackheads looking for a hit, they're getting pissed at the same time.

[chaseracer]

^ This place, etc. 

[barefoot]

Wasps are only a nuisance in the latter part of summer when the queen no longer requires food to be brought home. In the spring they're pretty tame and look for wood to build a nest with, flowers for food and horrid insects to paralyse to give to the Queen grubs to eat. The developing grubs produce a sweet liquid that the drone wasps feed on and get addicted. During the late summer, when the Queen grubs have pupated and developed into next year's queens (and the odd male for mating purposes), they miss this sweet goo and go foraging for anything sweet, because cold turkey.

 

When they eat rotting fruit, it is essentially fermenting and the sugars turning to alcohol, so not only are they scrabbling around like smackheads looking for a hit, they're getting pissed at the same time.

 

 

OK, nature is wonderful, but I don't want 10,000 of the fuckers nesting in my conservatory.

[mercrocker]

A cunting wasp stung me under my shirt whilst driving the Cowley and caravan down to West Wittering a couple of summers ago.   Right above my heart.... 

They can help nature somewhere else for my money.

[Supernaut]

A school mate of mine had a bright orange Talbot Horizon. In a fairly low speed head on around a blind bend one night it literally fell in half.

No one was hurt but the back seat passengers were left sitting, still strapped in like some sort of fairground ride.

 

Turned out to be a back street cut and shut of the old school pre Vic days.

 

Could have happened to them?

 

They were going fast enough to uproot a rather large tree.

 

I think at that point it doesn't matter whether it's a cut n shut or not.

 

 

 

 

Re: the comments about "he wouldn't hurt a fly, was a nice lad" etc. I still remember a story about a stolen 4x4 smashing head on into a bus at well above the speed limit and the mother genuinely said some pish like "He was a little angel and he wouldn't hurt a fly..." Aye, but he would steal a 4x4, drive it through a 30 zone at 70mph+ and smash head-on into a bus, though. Sod off.

 

Had a local one last year where a guy and his girlfriend were killed a few streets from me when they crashed the stolen motorbike they were on. Then the papers were full of the quotes like "kind soul" and "little angel" etc. etc.

They stole somebody's pride and joy then rode it like a total cunt then crashed it. What's so "kind" about that?

[Tamworthbay]

We had one last year that repeatedly came back to scraps of ham and carefully bit pieces off to take back to the hive. It must have made about twenty trips. I am allergic to wasp stings but was fascinated to watch it. The only time I have been stung was when I took a drink from a beer bottle I hadn’t noticed was already populated by a wasp. My lip came up like Mick Jagger and I was delirious for a while.

[chaseracer]

My lip came up like Mick Jagger and I was delirious for a while.

 

Blimey!  What beer was that...? 

[Spiny Norman]

Superb* care taken of my car National Tyre Services, thanks.

 

 

[HMC]

Tamworthbay, earlier...

 

[beko1987]

A cunting wasp stung me under my shirt whilst driving the Cowley and caravan down to West Wittering a couple of summers ago. Right above my heart....

They can help nature somewhere else for my money.

Same happened to me, driving home I had a sudden massive sharp pain in my side. I was still wondering wtf had happened when a fucking huge wasp crawled out from my shirt! Managed to smash the crap out of it all over the passenger seat with my lunch bag whilst simultaneously not crashing quite badly and came home and found the magic cream. Stung for hours after, then turned into a throbbinf sting then subsided

[Tamworthbay]

Tamworthbay, earlier...

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If only I had the hair.......

[wuvvum]

I had a wasp fly into my shirt once whilst riding my Honda CB125T in my shirt sleeves.  It stung me.  That was 20 years ago, I've never ridden a bike in shirt sleeves since.

[PhilA]

Wasps serve no function other than to be angry about the world.

 

Got enough people to do that, don't need wasps on the case also.

 

We get a lot of paper wasps here, {Polistes Youlookinatmemate} which like to get up underneath things to build nests. A number of years back I piled the drawers from a chest of drawers outside on the porch so I could move everything out to let down some new flooring. That took maybe 2 hours, went to lift the drawers back in and one was underneath the damn thing and stung my little finger, right on the joint, right on the nerve.

 

I can tell when it's gonna rain, that joint hurts.

 

Yup. They can all go to hell as far as I'm concerned.

 

 

Phil

[Lord Sterling]

Fuck! Looks like I have to finally conceed that I'm really shit at actually looking after cars. If the Vectra is now broken beyond repair I may aswell just sell/scrap everything else and buy a K11 (but also keep the KV6 running as well because despite being a car with a shit reputation, it has kept on trying to be alive whilst everything else tries to kill itself or is killed by my sheer and utter incompetence)

[GrumpiusMaximus]

I got a wasp up my trousers once.  I felt a buzzing and hit myself alarmingly close to the gentlemanly area.  When I went to the loo to have a look, the sting had embedded itself into my upper thigh where I'd killed it and the rest of the wasp had... snapped off.

 

Bastards.

[Amishtat]

I had awasp fly over my shoulder, round my head and behind my glasses once. I closed my eyes really quite quickly (as one does in these circumstances) and trapped it between my left eyelids, whereupon it stung me in the eyeball. I succeeded in killing it but all the rest of the day my vision in the left eye was swimmy and I had one hell of a headache. The next morning my left eye was swollen enough not to open and my glasses no longer fitted my face. Took a couple of days for the swelling to subside. TL/DR Waspscan go fuck themselves

[wuvvum]

I'm currently attempting to fill in a job application and have got to that dreaded section, "List your three main areas for development".  The annoying thing is that I filled in a similar form some months ago and came up with some pretty decent answers for that section, but I can't for the buggery of me remember what they were.

[purplebargeken]

^^ Irritating as fuck isn't it when that happens.

[Supernaut]

Think I made the right decision handing in my notice last week.

 

First, they had given me all of 48 hours notice that I was going onto 12 hour shifts, now, after a week, they still haven't given me any form of written acknowledgement of my notice. Looks like I'll just be walking out when my notice runs out, whatever happens.

 

That's beside the fact that 90% of the work is making 2+2=5 because they sell more bandwidth than they actually have, then hope the customers don't notice (clue: they do, on a daily basis).

 

HHHHHHHHHHHHH

[The Moog]

I'm currently attempting to fill in a job application and have got to that dreaded section, "List your three main areas for development".  The annoying thing is that I filled in a similar form some months ago and came up with some pretty decent answers for that section, but I can't for the buggery of me remember what they were.

 

Thats your first answer .. now for two more.. 

[chaseracer]

Think I made the right decision handing in my notice last week.

 

First, they had given me all of 48 hours notice that I was going onto 12 hour shifts...

 

Which is itself unlawful, absent proper consultation.

[Supernaut]

Which is itself unlawful, absent proper consultation.

 

What about when I started my day shift on a Tuesday they then told me I was on nights that same Thursday and Friday? That was a bit of a blow, considering I had plans for the Friday evening, which ended up going out the window.

 

Admittedly, it was more than 48 hours' notice of the shifts. They told me on Friday that I was be on 12 hour shifts the following Tuesday. Perhaps not unlawful, but still a bit crap.

 

None of the above was ever in writing, either.

[Sheefag]

Sorry to see you've lost your bearings, but you've been a good partner. Even if I've repaired the tail out of your back twice already.

 

RIP LITTLE SOLDIER

 

 

E iss wif da angles now

[MorrisItalSLX]

Dear people towing trailers,

 

1) CHECK YOUR SODDING LIGHTS WORK FFS.

2) Don’t get angry with me when I tell you your lights don’t work when we pull up together at the traffic lights.

3) Remember you are towing a 4 meter long trailer when you’re merging in front of me and nearly clip my car.

 

People’s towing abilities should be tested and recorded on their licenses before they can use one.

[Mrcento]

Been on the car hunt for months, a few tempters came up but nothing i was too set on.

 

Finally something that ticks the boxes came up

 

Of course, it's in Fife. (folk might well remember me saying why i don't buy cars from Fife.... because i can't, if you can actually get in touch with the seller, it usually results in a merry-go-round lasting days of trying to find out where the car is in Fife, only for the seller to not tell you and find ever more ridiculous ways of avoiding answers, often leading in you having to try and triangulate a rough area where it could be based on distances they've gave you from places it isn't), but seeing as little else has came up, i gave it a shot.

 

Emailed asking if it's still available and if so, could i have a location and when would be suitable to view?- no answer.

Texted to check availability- no answer.

Phoned- no answer.

 

Ok... so far, so usual, but at least i've avoided the whole "Fife mate" debacle.

 

2 days laters, email from seller, 4 words

 

"CAR IS IN FIFE."

 

Oh fuck off.

[chaseracer]

It's a Scottish thing, right? 

[HillmanImp]

I'm not even replying to this.

 

 

Maybe if he'd managed to fit a 'to' in the middle I'd entertain it but I really can't be bothered with goons.

 

At least he spelled it 'today' and not '2day' I guess?