The grumpy thread

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I went to the doctors last week because my cock had turned orange.

" I think it's a lifestyle thing" says he.

 

Can't be , all I do all day is sit watching porn and eating cheesey poofs..

[Datsuncog]

Not sure how I managed to crack a molar eating some toast and banana, but it seems that I have.

Baffling.

Time to put Denplan to use, finally...

[Guest Hooli]

 

I believe one of the most common ways to crack a tooth is hydraulic action when you squeeze food into a hole in the tooth, the pressure builds & splits the tooth. I cracked one on something daft like a bacon sarnie once.

[purplebargeken]

Cheese sandwich for me once. also cheese sandwich that nearly killed me.

 

I do like a cheese sandwich though. I'll take that risk. 

[Cavcraft]

You should share the danger, Ken. One Roule for her, one Roule for you.

[wuvvum]

FFS.

[meggersdog]

Ten to six this morning that little shit from next door starts.For the next hour all I can hear is this wailing.It's like the Clangers singing Minions tunes very fucking loudly from 5.50 am onwards.

Luckily they are in a housing association house so I've made an anti-social behaviour complaint.I know the housing will come back with "that's not really anti-social behaviour" at ten to fucking six in the morning it is.

Might need to get a diary and record the times and make an audio recording.It is beyond a joke.

[Sheefag]

Are they lactose intolerant?

[meggersdog]

haha yeah better edit that

[chaseracer]

You should share the danger, Ken. One Roule for her, one Roule for you.

 

That's a complete Croque, Monsieur.

[wuvvum]

Don't encourage him, for pity's sake.

[chaseracer]

That ship sailed long ago, my friend...

[Fumbler]

Question is did it Titanic or Costa Concordia itself. I hope neither has happened.

[richardmorris]

You should share the danger, Ken. One Roule for her, one Roule for you.

Enough with the cracker jokes!

[omegod]

I'm selling a pretty valuable gearbox on ebay and have been asked if I will take px  , I've asked what for , any guesses ? 

[fordperv]

A pair of their neighbours underwear stolen from the washing line, with a Polaroid of the guy wanting to part x wearing them

 

Probably an Iphone or xbox

[purplebargeken]

6 grey paving flags?

[anonymous user]

Enough with the cracker jokes!

And that one takes the biscuit.

[anonymous user]

I'm selling a pretty valuable gearbox on ebay and have been asked if I will take px , I've asked what for , any guesses ?

A six foot tall fibreglass giraffe. (If it is, I might be intetested)

[DodgeRover]

I'm selling a pretty valuable gearbox on ebay and have been asked if I will take px , I've asked what for , any guesses ?

A freelander petrol with a water loss issue and the prop disconnected for economy?

[Kiltox]

A fucked gearbox?

[EssDeeWon]

Trains.

 

First day back in the smoke today after 4 months of weekend engineering works and no service since 21 December for engineering works. This morning we are held in Romford/Ilford area because of some defective track!!  I mean FFS! What have they been doing?  There cannot be anything left to replace on that stretch of line.  Nearly every weekend for the last 16 years that I have been using that line you are greeted with a bus on the weekends rather than a train.

[somewhatfoolish]

Prompted by Christine's mention of Luther on the grin thread, why do TV dramas seem to occupy a parallel universe where there's a permanent power cut, or at least a brown out that causes all lights to emit the same lumination as a depressed glow worm? The stygian gloom is mystifying and very distracting.

[wuvvum]

Bought a more powerful LED bulb for the spare room this afternoon - the Poundland bulbs are decent enough but at 40W equivalent they're not really man enough to light a medium-sized room properly.  Went to remove the old bulb and the whole bastard light fitting pulled off the ceiling - both wires had snapped clean in two.  Excellent - just what I wanted to do after a completely manic first day back at work, spend half an hour perched on a wobbly chair trying to get the bastard thing wired back up again.  Got there in the end, but it now sits somewhat closer to the ceiling than it did before...

[Zelandeth]

Further to my previous ravioli/Tesco rant, the recipe for their cheesey puff/balls/ snack appears to have been "improved" too, since last purchased.

 

They now are not so cheesey and taste a bit stale.

 

CHRISTMAS IS RUINED etc

I had my moment of this in the middle of Christmas dinner.

 

We don't generally drink alcohol, but had a variety of things on the table, including some of the more fancy stuff than usual. Red grape Scholer (or however it's spelled) is a favourite of mine...burned only usually get it at this time of the year as it's expensive.

 

I took a sip and nearly spat it back out all over my dinner

 

Of course they've done the same thing as everyone else and replaced the sugar with bloody sweeteners haven't they. So it tastes to me like someone has dumped a couple of tablespoons of vinegar in the bottle.

 

Back to the classic coke or Pepsi then.

[3VOM]

Trains.

 

First day back in the smoke today after 4 months of weekend engineering works and no service since 21 December for engineering works. This morning we are held in Romford/Ilford area because of some defective track!!  I mean FFS! What have they been doing?  There cannot be anything left to replace on that stretch of line.  Nearly every weekend for the last 16 years that I have been using that line you are greeted with a bus on the weekends rather than a train.

You are Reginald Perrin AICMFP

18 minutes late Miss Jones - badger stuck in the points at Wapping.

[sierraman]

I'm selling a pretty valuable gearbox on ebay and have been asked if I will take px , I've asked what for , any guesses ?

200yds of waney lap fencing, a broken petrol Stihl strimmer and an 8 year old laptop with more viruses than an East African prosititute?

[New POD]

I'm selling a pretty valuable gearbox on ebay and have been asked if I will take px , I've asked what for , any guesses ?

A Manual omega ??

[New POD]

A six foot tall fibreglass giraffe. (If it is, I might be intetested)

A stolen lamb-banana???

[junkyarddog]

My normally reliable Mondeo has developed a fault in the windscreen wiper circuit,

Have not been able to trace the fault.

I may have to let an auto sparks take a look at it.

Fuck.

 

On top of that a much loved family member is in a bad way health wise,time is short I think,and they are very far away,so will more than likely never see them alive again.

 

Happy New year.

It's going to be the same old shit all over again.